(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Latino media crix nix the new prime-time fall tele sked in latest minority tubthump, claiming the nets are ignoring a whammo part of the aud by nixing topline talent of color. They also accuse not only webs, but percenteries, individual percenters, reps, prexies and veeps for the lack of color in the ranks of exex, scribblers, scripters, scribes, helmers and thesps.
“Nah,” Brewer said in an interview with the Boston Globe. “They don’t get out and vote. They don’t vote.”
What else does she foresee? Here are her Pocho Ocho Mas Loco Predictions:
8. Pigs will fly.
7. When nasty women stop provoking the average guy with slutty clothes, rapes will stop.
6. If regulators approve the AT&T-Time Warner merger, the cable guy will actually arrive between 10am and 2pm.
You’re passionate, Mr. and/or Ms. Hispanic, and emotional. You like stories, and web video stories under one minute long especially. Do we have some stories for you! Also tacos, which all Hispanics love, futbol ditto, and la musica, piñatas and burros tambien. HEY! WHAT ABOUT SPICY?
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Rick Perry told a crowd of press and supporters here Monday that he will not seek another term as Texas governor when his term expires in 18 months.
Instead, the longest-serving governor in Texas’ history said he was going to do the unthinkable: move to California to turn the state back into a Republican stronghold.
“Now that Democrats have set their sights on Texas, I want to return the favor and head to the Golden State and bring a brand of compassionate conservatism that ruled the state in the good ol’ days,” the former GOP presidential nominee wannabe said.
(PNS reporting from NEW ORLEANS) The “Honorable” Judge Edith Jones further angered civil rights and animal rights activists today when she issued a statement claiming killer whales were more violent than other sea life because they are black.
Jones, who was blasted for her earlier assertion that blacks and Latinos are more violent than Caucasians, ignored a court-ordered injunction to stop embarrassing herself and loudly voiced her controversial opinion about the beloved aquatic mammals at a bar association “power breakfast” in the French Quarter this morning.
Her comment was spurred by the new documentary Blackfish, which deals with a tragic killer whale-related fatality at Sea World.
More toons from POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz @ Huffington Post Latino Voices…
My baby brother is getting married. It is going to take me close to 12 hours to get to him, courtesy of the latest storm to hit the North East, Athena.
In order to get to LA, I am having to travel from Newark to Charlotte, NC to Phoenix before landing in LA. It dawned on me, as we landed in North Carolina, that I was landing in a “red state” – something that I am only keenly aware of because of the recent presidential election – the results of which have left some people feeling raw. I digested this reality for a moment and looked forward to the almost three-hour layover here.
It’s incredible to casually people watch, something I love to do when I travel, because on the surface, we all look the same, and in airports especially, we all have similar goals – to get somewhere. Nothing much separates us from one another here.
I opened up my laptop and started to enjoy the free Wifi offered at the Charlotte Davidson International Airport. Two men sat next to me. Southern accent – which I often find endearing – enthusiastically talking about car racing. Conversation started about the most recent race one of them competed in, an upcoming three-week visit to Florida for another race, their team, their sponsors…I soon got lost in work and Twitter.
Then it happened:
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) The City of Morrow, GA voted yesterday to ban “illegal alien paraphernalia.”
The small town (population 4882) banned the sale and use within the city limits of:
“Illegal alien paraphernalia including, but not limited to
- tortilla presses,
- international calling cards,
- Mexican Coca-Cola and
- Mexican soccer team accessories.”
The news wasn’t well received among Morrow’s small Hispanic community.
Five-year Morrow resident and Mexico native José Luis Gallegos said, “Qué se vayan a la chingada,” roughly translated as, “This is a heinous law.”
Going after the gastronomic vote, Dems and Repubs plan to offer Latino voters free tacos and salsa at the polls (all tacos made by immigrant labor.) Mitt Romney has even changed his tune about cheesy grits, now heralding cold maduros as his favorite breakfast.
7. Stereotypical Shows
Both parties are promising to fund and sponsor television programs about Latinos including shows about sexy maids, deep-thinking gardeners and homesick homeboys. Obama made his weekly address with the addition of two scantly clad Latina hotties by his side and a little person dressed as a sunflower. Romney is more timid in matters of sexuality but did allow a three-second shot of his butt to air in one of his campaign ads (for las viejitas.)