Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Hot and Sexy Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

salsainabowlI’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha.

Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.

M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.

M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Hot and Sexy Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

Hire this animated Mexican ‘bandito’ for only $45 (toons, video)

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Yesterday’s Most Pathetic Stereotypes Reimagined for the Digital Age of All our Cyber Tomorrows or Need a Sexy Latina or Bandit for your Animated Video

Next generation digitally-borne stereotypes for millennials and their kids!

Bandits, sexy Latinas, y mucho mas more…ACK!

Does your next CGI animation project need an ugly racist stereotyped Mexican gangster but you’re short on dinero? El Penumbra (The Darkness), a “Mexican Bandito,” can be yours for just $45!

Mas…Hire this animated Mexican ‘bandito’ for only $45 (toons, video)

Latino Heritage Month Pochismo Profile: Xochitl Cahuenga-Alvarado

weliseCalifornia artist Xochitl Cahuenga-Alvarado (born in 1988 in Fresno) creates mixed media artworks and performances.

By investigating language on a meta-level, Cahuenga-Alvarado tries to grasp language.

Transformed into art, language becomes an ornament. At that moment, lots of ambiguities and indistinctnesses, which are inherent to the phenomenon, come to the surface. Ooooh, shiny!

Her mixed media artworks are an investigation into representations of (seemingly) concrete ages and situations as well as depictions and ideas of the Latin@ that can only be realized in mixed media art.

Mas…Latino Heritage Month Pochismo Profile: Xochitl Cahuenga-Alvarado

Dancing with Selena, memories of childhood, and pepperoni pizza

Three hours into Selena night at the Regent in downtown Los Angeles, Bidi Bidi Bom Bom starts playing.

I feel this deep, animal sense of belonging.

This is my song and I need to be on stage. I claw my way up to the stage and slip in a puddle of what is maybe human sweat.

The hands of my fellow Selena enthusiasts pull me up.

We do what we came here to do: we dance.

Mas…Dancing with Selena, memories of childhood, and pepperoni pizza

‘Dale Evans [the Mexican help] and the Roughneck Romeos’ (toon)

COMBODALE“Queen of the Westerns” Dale Evans aka Mrs. Roy Rogers, starred in her own comic book series in 1958. Roughneck Romeos, from Issue #2, features Dale and the Mexican “help.”

When two cowboys fight for the favors of sexy Conchita, Chef Gomez’ niece, there’s trouble on the rancho [click on images to enlarge]…

Mas…‘Dale Evans [the Mexican help] and the Roughneck Romeos’ (toon)

Pocha Yari Rodriguez wants to live (and die?) on Mars (video)

marspochaCalifornia-born Yari Rodriguez wants to be a crew member on that one-way trip to Mars – but she’s scared.

For Smith College engineering grad Rodriguez, the most terrifying thing about a one-way trip to Mars isn’t a rocket malfunction, lack of oxygen, or the probability of death on Mars, she told Fox News Latino. It’s the cameras.

“It’s the scariest part about the whole mission,” Rodriguez, 27, said. “I’m really shy and nervous…I’ve been coming to terms with being on TV.”

Mas…Pocha Yari Rodriguez wants to live (and die?) on Mars (video)

The Pocho Ocho worst Valentine’s Day gifts evah?

8. Candy Bra: Lets face it, dude, the gift wasn’t really for your girl — it was for your own enjoyment. If eating chalky conversation hearts is what turns you on, you might as well just give her one. Plus, you could have thrown it on her body when she was naked. Now you just wasted $14.95 instead of Brachs conversation hearts which are 99 cents.

7. Humidifer: Don’t buy shit just because it’s on sale, unless he or she has severe allergies. Do not let yourself look like a mouth breather.

6. Electric Blanket: I know, I know, I actually got this as a gift on Valentine’s Day. He explained that because he had a Jeep I should take it along when we go out. Shortly after the relationship ended, the blanket ended as well when my niece spilled her Dora the Explorer juice box all over it.

Mas…The Pocho Ocho worst Valentine’s Day gifts evah?

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: My Hot Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

salsainabowlI’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha. Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.

M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.

M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: My Hot Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

NorCal school hires private dick, expels 7-year-old Latina *UPDATED

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* UPDATE: School officials in Orinda have reversed their decision, according to the ContraCosta Times.  

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In the true spirit of the season, the Orinda, California School Board has gone after the most egregious criminal in their school.

How did the Northern California district know this 7-year-old chica (screen cap from Merky News) was a law breaker? Well, they probably just suspected it at first, since she was one of a few brown-skinned Latina children in the overwhelmingly white elementary school. Then they hired a private investigator.

Profiles in courage!

Yes, this vicious scofflaw had the nerve to attend school with her second grade friends in the same neighborhood she lives in nearly all of the week, as the daughter of a local live-in nanny.

Mas…NorCal school hires private dick, expels 7-year-old Latina *UPDATED

Does your animation project need a Latina maid?

othercharactersanimatedmaidmariaDoes your video animation project need stereotyped cartoon actors?

How about a Latina?

How about we name her “Maria,” oh, and get this, she’s a “housemaid!”

Maria is ready to say “¡Si, Señora!” in all your corporate video, web avatar and/or white privileged productions.

Sure we could have made Maria the “cool girl” character (above), but get real.

This is America!

All this and more from mCharacter. [Windex not included, deviousness available for an additional charge.]

Mas…Does your animation project need a Latina maid?

Woman needs stricter hubby test than ‘not a drunk, won’t beat me’

(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Sandra Ceballos made a shocking discovery Friday night when she was out with her girlfriends.

The standards she’d been using to find a good husband were, as her friend Jenny put it, “appallingly low.”

Ceballos, whose family is from Mexico, was raised to believe that if a man is not too much of a drunk, works hard, and doesn’t beat you, he’s “good husband material.”

Mas…Woman needs stricter hubby test than ‘not a drunk, won’t beat me’

Letter to straight guys from a Latina vagina: I’m too sexy for my chonies

latinavaginaDear Straight Dudes:

Why, hello there, I’m a Latina vagina and I have a message for heterosexual guys. Now I know what you’re going to ask me: “How well-groomed am I?”

No seas cochino! That’s none of your business, that’s personal. But I am here to, uh, talk business because I’m tired of all of these assumptions people make about me!

Mas…Letter to straight guys from a Latina vagina: I’m too sexy for my chonies