speech


The words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., are moving, literally, in this “kinetic typography” homage.

don zimmermanUghhhhhhhh. There goes another crazy Texas politico saying something crazy. This time it’s Austin City Councilman Don Zimmerman, who told a group of Latino parents and students who testified in front of the council, some in Spanish, to stop being moochers (basically). [Mas…]

pinholeThose new neighbors, you know, those people down the hall or across the street — where do they come from? What’s that crazy moon language? What are they up to? If you see something, say something.

Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Tell If Your New Neighbors Are Terrorists:

8. Since sunset on Sunday, they’ve been burning more and more candles every night and singing in a Middle Eastern language.

7. They instruct their children — even pre-K kids — in violent martial arts, regularly staging practice backyard executions where children swinging war sticks decapitate colorful paper effigies strung up for torture.

6. Suspiciously clean-cut young men in shirts and ties living in the house regularly head out on bikes for neighborhood surveillance, knock on doors to see who is home, and take copious notes after every encounter. [Mas…]


OSCAR winner Alejandro González Iñárritu spoke to an audience at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) Sunday night. No human being, he told them, is illegal.

Here’s the transcript: [Mas…]

feypalinYou don’t lift sanctions.

You crack down on their assets.

You cut off their oil and drill, baby, drill for our own.

We don’t retreat. We reload against any foe daring to test us.

And that is what Iran just did.

So, Congress, you got to kill the deal. The president is playing you. He so disrespects you, Congress, and our Constitution, that he won’t even bring you the treaty. [Mas…]

Congressman Gutierrez: The Pope is the antidote to Trump (video)

by JORGE VAMOS September 11, 2015 El Now

Representative Luis V. Gutierrez (D-ILL), who fights for the American dream as a Member of Congress representing Chicago, thinks we’ve got A Pope, Francis, and an Anti-Pope, the Donald. He explained it all on the floor of the House of Representatives, using popular movie tropes and big photographs:

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Gustavo Arellano to UC Riverside grads: ‘You are secular saints’

by Gustavo Arellano June 15, 2015 Cultura
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Saturday morning, I had the honor of giving the commencement speech at UC Riverside’s College of Arts, Humanities, and Social Sciences for their Sociology, Philosophy, Neuroscience, and Psychology students (what a mouthful!). Following are my prepared remarks, which I mostly hewed to. I did begin my speech with an explanation of what ustedes and y’all […]

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A Patriot Asks: Why did Obama turn his back on America? (photo)

by Barney Asada November 21, 2014 El Now
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Pocho Ocho top immigration actions Obama will reveal tonight

by Especial Correspondents November 20, 2014 El Now
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President Barack Obama will defy Republican haters tonight and reveal “executive actions” to “fix the broken immigration system.” Our sources at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue have shared a copy of the 5 PM EST speech and we can now reveal the Pocho Ocho top immigration reforms you’ll hear in the President’s address to the Nation: 8. […]

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Secrets of the Stars: How to master the American accent (video)

by MEL BLANCO November 5, 2013 Cultura
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Argentinian actress and speech coach Guadalupe “Lupita” Gutierrez shows how to speak with an American accent. At least, that’s what she thinks… [Video by Natalia Abelleyra.] PREVIOUSLY ON ACTORS WITH ACCENTS:

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Breaking: Obama plans ‘I Have A Drone’ speech

by Malcolm Mex August 27, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) White House sources have confirmed that Pres. Barack Obama will deliver an “I Have A Drone” speech Wednesday to commemorate the the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s historic “I Have A Dream” speech at the 1963 March on Washington. The news has already sent shock waves through […]

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Accent Training: How to do a Mexican accent (video)

by MEL BLANCO August 7, 2013 Cultura
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Do ju know how to talk like a Mexican? Watch thees video by voice and speech coach Andrea Caban and ju will learn how to speak Mexican. Ju know? PREVIOUSLY ON TALK LIKE A MEXICAN:

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Defense contractors on immigration bill: ‘Time to get a new Beemer’

by MARIA PURISIMA AND ERESNERD June 28, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The Senate’s approval of a bipartisan “immigration reform” bill Thursday — a bill which Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) says will create “the most militarized border since the Berlin Wall” — has defense contractors talking, and drooling. The hot topic? The untold millions of dollars that may become available if Uncle […]

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LOLS: Siri talks to Google Voice who talks to Siri who talks to… (video)

by HAL 8999 April 26, 2013 Cultura
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A student at Pratt in New York set up a text-to-speech-to-text loop and the results are amazing and funny. We’ll let Michael Silber explain: PROCESS I recorded the audio of Siri reading a selection of text. I placed a call to myself and played the Siri audio recording into my Google Voice voicemail. I instructed Siri […]

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I went to Texas and all I got was this stupid t-shirt (not really) [fotos]

by Lalo Alcaraz April 8, 2013 Cultura
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So I went to Austin, TX over the weekend (that’s me on the left, standing next to a giant stone head replica of anti-Hispanic author Richard Rodriguez) to speak at the UT Austin Benson Latin American Collection. Trusty iPhone in hand, I took these photos of my trip:

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Heya morons! Click HERE for Obama immigration speech transcript

by Pocho Ñews Service January 29, 2013 El Now
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We know some of you are morons or racists or both. Different strokes, meng, different strokes. It’s cool. Here’s a transcript of the speech on immigration that Bronco Bama just delivered in Las Vegas, translated into easy-to-understand Moron. Just for you! (APPLAUSE) Dank you. It is good t’ be back in Las Begas. And it […]

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Did you miss the Inauguration? We’ve got the video!

by Comic Saenz January 25, 2013 El Now
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From Pres. Barack Obama’s Second Inaugural Address: “Your baby cousin likes me because I’m more normal and have a smooshy finger? No!” RELATED: Pocho Ocho zingers dropped from Obama’s Inaugural Address

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Pocho Ocho zingers dropped from Obama’s Inaugural Address

by Especial Correspondents January 21, 2013 El Now
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That was quite a speech, eh? President Bronco Bama rocked the Inaugural Address. Of course, what he didn’t say is as important as what he did. Here are the pocho ocho zingers dropped from the final espeech: 8. I want to reach across the aisle to our Republican friends and propose the No Mullet Left Behind […]

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Prankster punks Speech 101 class with bogus Mexican accent (video)

by Verdana Bold November 28, 2012 Cultura
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Comedian Jose Barrientos‘s fake Mexican accent was so convincing he had his entire Speech 101 class fooled, except for this one blonde woman (she claimed later.) (NSFW audio.)

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Victorious Hugo Chavez to Americans: ‘Back my socialist amigo Obama’

by TREY GUEVARA October 8, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from CARACAS) Hugo Chavez — re-elected to a third six-year term as president of Venezuela — has again called on Americans to re-elect Pres. Barack Obama. In a four-hour televised speech to his nation late Sunday, Chavez called Obama the best hope for Socialism in the Western Hemisphere. The left-wing strong man had […]

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@MexicanMitt on the DNC: THAT CONVENTION ESUCKED!

by MEXICAN MITT ROMNEY September 7, 2012 El Now
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COMO CHINGA ESE OBAMA. If this Democratic convention was the FIESTA, then this yobs report is the CRUDA! There is no bowl of menudo big enough to cure the mess that Barack Obama has failed to clean up after the frat boy party thrown by George W. Bush. Whoops, never mind that I mentioned what’s-his-face. […]

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What did Obama tell the DNC? We did the word salad arithmetic!

by BARACK SPINOZA September 7, 2012 El Now
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POCHO was so inspired by Bill Clinton’s espeech, with all the math and stuff, that we decided to arithmetically analyze President Obama’s address to the Democratic National Convention. What does it all mean? Dunno. Math is hard. What do you think? Some top phrases containing 8 words (without punctuation marks) Occurencies harder but it leads […]

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Bill Clinton’s Pocho Ocho best lines in his speech to the DNC

by REINCE IPSA LOCO September 6, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for Bill Clinton’s Pocho Ocho best lines in his speech to the DNC

Former President Bill Clinton’s speech Wednesday to the Democratic Convention was long (48 minutes), complex and filled with facts and arithmetic — maybe too long and filled, although girth is as important as length according to the email we get here. As a public service, therefore, and sanitized for your protection, we present the Pocho […]

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