(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) State-of-the-art leaf blower technology developed in Mexico’s Silicon Barrio is at the heart the Pentagon’s latest robot warrior, PNS has learned.
The PopoPotencia leaf blower engine powers the WildCat, a Boston Dynamics combat robot (video) built for the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA).
Mas…Advanced Mexican leaf blower powers new Pentagon/Google robot
The plan to end the government-owned PEMEX oil monopoly got Mexican congressman Antonio Garcia Conejo, a member of the leftist Democratic Revolution Party, so angry he needed to strip to his chonies to get his point across.
PREVIOUSLY ON PEMEX:
Mas…Mexican legislator strips to protest PEMEX legislation (video)
PREVIOUSLY ON MARIJUANA:
Mas…Uruguay gets high with a little help from the law (video)
(PNS reporting from CULVER CITY, CA) Westside entrepreneur Pico E. Sepulveda tries not to count his pollos before they hatch, but he will admit to being stoked about the profit potential of the 12 cases of Huy Fung Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce he purchased at Smart & Final Iris here Thursday morning.
“Now that the State of California has joined the City of Irwindale in cutting off the supply of America’s favorite hot sauce, the sky’s the limit on these babies,” the Mar Vista man told PNS. “When I pulled out of the store’s parking lot onto Venice Boulevard, I actually started chair dancing in my car and even broke out the maracas!” (Sepulveda’s excitement was captured by a POCHO reader who emailed us this VINE video, right)
“I got a dozen 12-count cases of the 28-ounce bottles,” Sepulveda explained, “for $35 each — for a total for $420, which I thought was good omen. This could be bigger than Bitcoins, if Bitcoins had a trailer for a video on demand download on Vimeo!”
Mas…Area man scores 12 cases of Sriracha, hopes to Get Rich Quick (videos)
This brand new toon (yesterday!) is by artist Gustavo Abascal. We had to make a square “thumbnail” for layout purposes on the home page, but don’t be scared, the full image is here:
Fordham student Kiyun asked her school friends to “write down an instance of racial microaggression they have faced,” then she took their photos.
Here are (what may be/could be/possibly look like) four of the “Latino” photos [click to enlarge.] The rest are here and here.
Mas…Everyday racist bullsh*t (AKA ‘racial microaggressions’) [photos]
Arsenio Hall and (Last Comic Standing) Felipe Esparza head to Santee Alley in L.A.’s Garment Fashion District to see if they can pin down some Latino stereotypes. Hot sauce, Home Depot and “No hablo ingles” here we come!
PREVIOUSLY ON ARSENIO:
Mas…Latino Stereotypes 101: Arsenio Hall and Felipe Esparza (video)
POCHO Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón (@SaraChicaD on the Twitter) is like a Virgen, manicured for the very first time. She calls her video Guadalupe Nail Art – Decoración de Uñas Virgen de Guadalupe. Yes, it is a silent video.
You know you’ve heard the story before. A grandmother in a faraway place has found La Virgen on her tortilla or her window or her ceiling or wherever it is that she found her.
Don’t pretend like you haven’t looked for things shaped like La Virgen before! It’s all a part of our culture, but because it’s also a recurring and hilarious part, we wanted to round up the list for you.
(PNS reporting from HAVANA) El Presidente Comrade Raul Castro’s handshake with imperialist war criminal Barack Obama at the Nelson Mandela memorial service in South Africa was a slap in the face of the workers of the world and a betrayal of Cuba’s Communist Revolution, an old school Communist Bay of Pigs veteran charged Tuesday.
“That handshake marks a Day That Will Live in Infamy,” Ernesto “Little Che” Altacaca, 76, told everyone hanging out at People’s Barbershop #245 on Calle de Los Cadres. “It is like the Hitler-Stalin nonaggression pact (photo, below) combined with a very special episode of Chico and the Man.”
“Did El Presidente demand the Yanqui perro return Guantanamo?” the long-time area resident asked. “No! Did he demand an end to the embargo that has penalized the people for half a century? Nyet! Did he insist Obama recognize the workers’ rights to self determination without capitalist exploitation and immediately send six dozen complete gasket sets for 1954 Chrysler New Yorkers? No way! And what about Pete Seeger remitting that record business royalty money for the song he stole from the poor people of Guantanamera?”
Mas…Cuban Reds say Raul Castro-Obama handshake betrayed Revolution
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(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Leading Catholic personalities gathered here this week to address a simmering controversy in the official Divine Advent & Manifestation Union (DAMU): members claim that La Virgen de Guadalupe (photo, center) is a publicity hog when it comes to miraculous appearances.
“Can’t the Son of God just miraculously appear on a slice of toast without someone copying me?” asked Jesus Christ (photo, right). “Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for faith and everything, but she goes out of her way to appear on everything! Am I right, people?”
Another virgin in attendance, rarely-seen La Virgen de San Juan (photo, left), said that although she’s “totally cool” with being a lesser-known virgin, she will never be able to grow her Twitter following or sell more CDs when Guadalupe is always “hogging the spotlight.”
“The union has rules for a reason, so everyone has a chance at appearing on tortillas or an oil stain,” San Juan told PNS. “I don’t expect to be number one — I mean, c’mon, we’re talking about the Mother of God here — but I do expect my fair share.”
Mas…Religious figures to Guadalupe: You’re a ‘miraculous appearance hog’
A 28-year-old San Antonio, TX man is the can after threatening a waitress with a sword in an attempt to scare her into giving up a half dozen tacos, which Wikipedia describes as “a traditional Mexican dish composed of a corn or wheat tortilla folded or rolled around a filling.”
“Mr. [Adam] Kramer was yelling that he wanted his free tacos or somebody was going to die,” authorities said in an affadavit for his arrest, according to Raw Story. Kramer is being held in Bexar County Jail on $50,000 bail.
PREVIOUSLY ON TEXAS TACOS:
Mas…From Texas: ‘Give me six tacos or I’ll kill you with a sword!’
Running out of Christmas gift ideas for the little pochito in your life?
How about doubling down with a Comida Mexicana duo that wraps your baby up like a burrito in a tortilla-colored blanket and keeps his/her cute little cabeza warm with a hat that looks like the corn husk knot that secures tamales?
Bon Vivant Baby has you covered for only $48. [Baby not included.]
PREVIOUSLY ON BURRITO-LOOKING BABIES:
Link via MiBlogEsTuBlog.
Editor’s Note: POCHO Subcomandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón wants to remind you it is one tamal and two tamales; one frijol, two frijoles; one asshol, two assholes, etc.
The Feast Day of La Virgen de Guadalupe, the Empress of Latin America, celebrated every December 12.
La Virgen has consistently helped POCHO break the ñews – with stories that included Nuestra Señora:
Todd Mills, who came up with the idea for Doritos Locos Tacos, lost his battle with cancer on Thanksgiving. The Little Rock, Arkansas father of two was 41 (photo, above.)
Mills started the Facebook page “Taco Shells from Doritos Movement” in 2009, encouraging followers to “tell Frito-Lay that we demand nacho cheesy taco shells!”
On the page, Mills posted photoshopped images of well known figures including Albert Einstein with a cheesy taco shell in a thought bubble, Steve Jobs holding a Macbook with a cheesy taco shell on the screen and Chuck Norris doing a karate kick while holding a cheesy taco shell….
Mas…Visionary behind Doritos Locos Tacos dies at 41 (photos + video)
The Christmas Idol panel of judges is a tough one. Santa Claus, Lady Sharoun the Purple and Jesus H. Christ Himself have power to make a contestant’s dreams come true. Can Shakila (Roberta Valderrama) win them over with her hot hot hot version of Feliz Navidad?
PREVIOUSLY ON ROBERTA VALDERRAMA:
Mas…Will Shakila’s ‘Feliz Navidad’ win the next ‘Christmas Idol’? (video)
Get rid of the Satanic Pac Man in your feet with this ugly new shoe collection from a Wonder Woman-looking ɆxøɍȼɨsŧȺ — blue energy dots and pea soup vomit not included. Not to mention Canada. Actually, we have no idea what this old advertisement is about. Do you?
The infographic map-heads at FloatingSheep.org analyzed geo-tagged Tweets from one week in November last year to generate a hate map of the U.S.
Surprise, surprise — the Old Confederacy had the most haters when slurs about Latinos (Tweets using the word “wetback” and “spick”), African-Americans (“nigger”), Asians (“chink,” “gook”) were tallied (pan-racist map, above.) [Click maps to enlarge.]
Here’s the breakdown of “wetback” Tweets:
Mas…Haters Gonna Hate: Big map of racist/hateful Tweets (infographic)
El Santo Claus is just one of many cool images by POCHO amigo El Rey Del Art. Check out El Rey’s Zazzle store for more!
PREVIOUSLY ON EL REY DEL ART:
This is how they party in Quito, Ecuador. Clowns, luchadores, stilt-walkers, magicians, fireworks and music all get screen time in Swing Original Monks’ Fiesta Popular.
Here is a listicle partially inspired by a mas longer listicle on BuzzFeed, because they are the listicle professionals, tu sabes.
¡Mira! The Pocho Ocho signs you grew up in a Mexican household/family:
8. Virgen de Guadalupe veladoras.
7. Your first introduction to dramatic acting was a telenovela.
6. You always wondered why gringos celebrated Cinco de Mayo more than your family.
5. You can recognize the Aztec princess Iztaccihuatl AND the warrior Popocateptl (photo) on sight.
Mas…Pocho Ocho signs you grew up in a Mexican family/household
Student film? Bad Accent Video Theatre? Whatever! El Amor de Mi Amante is mini-telenovela brought to you by Taco Bell and this year’s hottest new fragrance — Twist!
PREVIOUSLY ON BAD SPANISH ACCENT VIDEO THEATRE:
Mas…Bad Accent Video Theatre: ‘El Amor de Mi Amante’ (My Lover’s Love)
Tired of the hassles of cleaning, maintaining (not to mention paying for) a big apartment, condo or home?
Looking for a just-built energy-efficient, traditionally-styled Aztlan adobe?
Getting back to basics is easy with this lovely Abiquiu, NM property which offers 86 square feet of solar-powered living space away from the noise, crime and confusion of urban life.
Owner-builder Samuel Gray explains:
Mas…Real Estate for Sale: New Mexico adobe casita best offer > $3000
I’m so sick of Christmas and December isn’t even a week old!
Every year it’s the same crap over and over again. I mean, I wasn’t even finished pretending not to eat Halloween candy before people started playing that Christmas music — don’t even get me started on the music! It’s like, let’s take a has-been artist and have them pump out some horrible tripe and force everyone to remember why they became irrelevant in the first place, all the while pretending like we’re enjoying the tunes.
You know, all those songs were written during a time when my grandparents weren’t even allowed to go into certain restaurants. “No Mexicans, No Dogs” is what the door signs used to say. “White Christmas” indeed!
Antônio Villas Boas reported that the space aliens kidnapped him from a field he was plowing, brought him aboard their UFO/OVNI, stripped him naked and then a female ET raped him. In 1957, this made him a pioneer — way before the Betty and Barney Hill were abducted in New England in 1961. NPR reports:
According to Villas Boas, he was plowing fields with his tractor when he was taken against his will by a group of ETs measuring about 5 feet tall. On their spaceship he was put in a room where he saw some kind of gas come out of the walls, making him sick. Then a very attractive female, naked, with long platinum-blonde hair, fire-red pubic hair and deep-blue cat eyes, came to him and forced him to have intercourse….
Mas…Was Brazil’s Antônio Villas Boas the first UFO abductee? (video)
Coincidence? Copyright violation? The blockbuster film Gravity – with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney – may not be as original as we’ve been led to believe. Check out the 1966 trailer for the Mexican movie Gravedad.
