Eliot Chang just loves Spanish-language TV. Comic Yamil (“I’m Hispanic”) Piedra dislikes the very same shows, doesn’t think the comedies are funny, hates the dubbing and thinks the Spanish voices sound like they were recorded on the toilet. YMMV.
Mas…Comic video shoot-out! ‘I love Spanish TV’ vs ‘I hate Spanish TV’
Quick-thinking U.S. Border Patrol agents, inspired by the skull-melting Arizona heat, have captured an elderly terrorist who was hell-bent on turning the vast wasteland known as Arizona into a vast radioactive wasteland.
Or was it the nation’s oldest living ex-governor, Raul Castro (photo,right), 96, who was detained at a border patrol checkpoint in the brutal Arizona morning heat after agents found he posed a “radiation risk” following his heart pacemaker operation?
Mas…Anti-terror WIN! Wrinkled AZ governor detained by U.S. Border Patrol
Beloved acting legend Andy Griffith, known for his starring role as the sheriff on The Andy Griffith Show and later on the long-running series Matlock, died Tuesday and was buried yesterday in North Carolina. Tragically, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio is still clinging to life.
Bill Douters of the Dare County, NC Coroner’s Office confirmed the 86-year-old’s death:
God has taken Andy Griffith, one of our most beloved actors, and residents, but yet He spared the brutal and racist animal Sheriff Joe Arpaio?
The Sheriff of Maricopa County, AZ, Arpaio is 80 years old, and is, sadly, in good health.
Mas…Andy Griffith, ‘America’s Sheriff’ dies, AZ Sheriff Arpaio tragically lives
Yup. You figured it out. A five-second-long explosive video meant to help your Spanish vocabulary. Click to play. What do you have to lose? OK. Five seconds of your life. Eight seconds if you include the opening and closing credits. And yet, having a good vocabulary is worth the time. Am I right, people? *applause*
Used to be you could always celebrate the Fourth of July along the border in the most patriotic way: by detonating illegal Mexican fireworks.
Here are some of our favorite dangerous Mexican fireworks from when men were men, and fireworks were weapons grade bundles o’ fun!
8. Guadalajara Guarheads
7. Tijuana TNT
6. La La La La La Bomba
I’ve been trying to make light of the Arizona “show me your papers” law in my stand-up but I don’t think people get it.
And I don’t think it’s because I’m a terrible comic (although that’s open to interpretation) but because people in general don’t really grasp what the law implies.
As a South American immigrant with a very paranoid Latina mother, I’ve lived with the fear of “show me your papers” most of my life.
Despite, being white and well assimilated (like a borg), I’ve carried my Social Security card and passport since I became a citizen.
Just last month, I was working on a film set and the consent form said, “Please provide proof of citizenship.” I panicked a little because I forgot my passport. As soon as I handed my paperwork to the agent, he looked me over and said,”Obviously, you were born in America…”
Mas…This just in: Apparently I am an ‘obvious American!’ Happy July 4!
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) The City of Morrow, GA voted yesterday to ban “illegal alien paraphernalia.”
City Ordinance 187 — the so-called Press A Tortilla Go to Jail law — is a response to the Supreme Court’s ruling that Arizona SB 1070 was mostly unconstitutional.
The small town (population 4882) banned the sale and use within the city limits of:
“Illegal alien paraphernalia including, but not limited to
The news wasn’t well received among Morrow’s small Hispanic community.
Five-year Morrow resident and Mexico native José Luis Gallegos said, “Qué se vayan a la chingada,” roughly translated as, “This is a heinous law.”
Mas…Small Georgia town bans sale, use of ‘illegal alien paraphernalia’
Listen in as half Boricuan, half Italian and all moron talk show host Jason Matterat on New York City’s WABC 770 AM interviews “Pedro the Illegal Alien.” What do you think?
Thanks to our friends at Latino Rebels for the story and the video.
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) For fashionistas, this July 4 holiday season is less about parades and barbecues and more about flashing your passport, if you have one.
The new patriotic papers fashion flair follows the Supreme Court’s recent decision to uphold the “show me your papers” provisions of SB1070.
And now everybody wants those papers.
After the SCOTUS decision, the State Department’s passport website experienced the highest volume of traffic since Sarah Palin became the Republican Party’s nominee for Vice President in 2008.
Mas…Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?
(PNS reporting from BOCADECACA, AZ) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arapio is launching his own brand of tequila, Arpaio Viejo, he told random diners at Gallego’s Mexican Cafe here yesterday.
“I demand high standards for my office and my tequila,” Arpaio told the restaurant full of retirees from states that aren’t Arizona. “I was dissatisfied with the other options on the market, and at my favorite Mexican restaurant, so I decided to create my own.”
Arpaio’s brand will offer the traditional tequila styles of añejo, plata, and reposado — but that’s not all.
“Later in the year we introduce my super-premium line, called Arpaio Viejo 1070, aged 10 years in mesquite wood barrels in the desert, and then wrapped in pink chonies for seven more years of additional tempering. You know it’s ready to drink when you pull the cork and instead of breathing, it whimpers.” Arpaio said.
GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney led off the chorus of this week’s reactioneers after the SCOTUS decisions on SB1070 and Obamacare. “We need to implement Labambacare for all Hispanics pronto!” he wrote in a special guest editorial.
Some Arizonans like the SB1070 decision — we have their reactions — but Chicago Congressman Luis Gutierrez ripped the decision to shreds on the floor of the House of Representatives — and we have the video.
Lots of ñews this past week on POCHO; here are our top stories:
Mas…Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt
When we heard one of our favorite Hey Vato! episodes (The Tattoo) would be screening at the San Francisco Frozen Film Festival we knew it was time for a special Sabado Ponchonte Saturday Night Video Festival featuring EVERY episode of our favorite web series, in order, so here they are. Hey Vatos! Orale!
Mas…Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)
La Chata’s Music Box presents Mexican Institute of Sound with their new video Mexico. Elections Sunday, music today. Video directed by Jonas Cuaron (brother of Alfonso of Harry Potter/Y Tu Mama Tambien fame.)
Well, really, you have to laugh at the trailer. But how does the Dora the Explorer film, starring Ariel Winter (Modern Family), stack up against Dora La Conquistadora?
Here’s La Conquistadora now:
Mas…‘Dora the Explorer’ vs ‘Dora La Conquistadora’ (video shootout)
Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull (aka Jan Brewer) Just thought I’d draw something for POCHO regarding the SB1070 ruling for this Fourth of July weekend. As a Chicano comic book nerd and artist, this is the best way for me to strike back against the Wicked Witch of the Southwest.
Gabriel Tellez Jr. is the vato behind The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan, serialized this Spring on POCHO.
FIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo Wednesday at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics come from Zamboni Bros., new to California, with their presentation Hella Hockey Holiday – a tribute to the Estanley Cup World Champions, Los Reyes de Los Angeles. Moms: bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium. Dads: Do NOT bring your own fireworks.
INK AND DRINK: Two businesses in the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District are getting together for a patriotic combo deal that’s hard to beat. Get any flag or patriotic tat at Inky Dinky’s House of Pain on Porciuncula Place Saturday through Monday and Inky will slide you a $10 pre-paid bar tab for the Loco Lounge next door. And guys, if you like thick chicks, you’ll love new tattoo artist Salma’s Fernando Botero-inspired portraits of your true hyna, right over your heart.
POCHO encourages live unmoderated reader comments without registration (democratic but dangerous) so we employ a robot named Akismet to help us weed out spam.
The bot’s not perfect, though. Sometimes legitimate comments get mistakenly trapped by Akismet, which uses artificial intelligence to decide if a comment is Spam (bad) or Ham (good).
Here, with our apologies, are a few comments that were mistakenly flagged as Spam:
Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 10:26 pm
This is the exact AZ’s hater history: Public Enemy ‘By the Time I Get to Arizona’ : Pocho diary for anyone who wants to attempt out out active this issue. You respond so such its virtually wearying to argue with you (not that I rattling would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new rotate on a matter thats been engrossed some for years. City block, but zealous!
Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 9:44 pm
Taking the course of least level of resistance could be the desired manner of functioning for several. It needs to be an enormous revolution for a lot of, nevertheless My spouse and i hesitation they could keep their particular outdated way of managing this looking at just this 1 article. With luck , most split via
This is a terrible day for illness and disease. Obamacare being upheld by those activist judges at the Supremes Court is making me sicker than the time I tried McDonald’s experimental “Birria Burger.”
Thank God it was Available for a Limited Time Only.
The Republican Party is the only party looking out for disease! Diseases are people, my friends. Especially Jan Brewer.
This ruling upholding Obamacare is wrong for Amercia, and really messes up my campaign for President. However, things are not terminal yet.
I vow on my Day Juan in office as Presidente Romney, to repeal Obamacare (AKA Romneycare) and replace it with Romneydoesntcare.
Romneydoesntcare is modeled on the health system we had before, which was, “rich people pay cash for healthcare, and everyone else can go pound pupusas.”
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UPDATE: Ramiro Gomez on NPR: 6/29/2012: Click here.
West Hollywood artist Ramiro “Jay” Gomez Jr. – the guy who inserts cardboard paintings of immigrant laborers into the real landscape of Los Angeles – also paints them onto glossy magazine photos. Meet fresh uploads Nemesio at the end of his workday and Ofelia taking a break. Gomez’s Happy Hills blog is here.
New York band Outernational rocks the message in Spanglish with We Are All Illegals featuring Tom Morello, Chad Smith and Residente Calle 13.
VH Juan takes an up close and personal look at superstar Tejano band Los Mojados Guapos in this short segment from Behind La Musica.
Rep. Luis Gutierrez, a Democratic congressman from Chicago, steps up to the lectern in the United States House of Representatives and teaches all of America how to be “telepathic” like the Arizona cops and politicians who somehow know – without racial profiling – who is undocumented and who is not.
A must-see video for Justin Bieber fans! In my opinion, the Honorable Representative can have a second career at The Daily Show.
School’s out, summer’s in. Where you going for vacation? Huh? We asked you a question!
OK then. Be that way. Two can play that game. Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho worst possible vacation destinations:
8. Community service. Were you volunteered? Court-ordered? Did your mom rope you into it? Whether it’s babysitting bratty kids at church or painting over graffiti-ed walls that will be covered in new graffiti by the next morning, there’s nothing quite like serving your community.
7. The public pool. Why such a drag? Probably because it’s about 60% chlorine and 40% other peoples’ urine. Swim away!
6. Your family’s rancho in the old country. No running water, no AC, no TP, you may not speak the language, no TV, no Internet, your relatives laugh at you behind your back — or to your face — and you have no escape until your parents come back for you.
5. Sleeping under a cactus with your tío. What? Do Mexicans not do that anymore?
Gustavo Aguilar and Juan Cabrera, Mexican day laborers alone in a Twilight Zone desert, are confronted by a screaming protest against illegal immigration. Ours is a world of mirage and illusion, they remind us, and you have to believe it to see it.
The fearless frackers at the dead Breitbart blog (screen capture, right) are all outraged about a so-called “security action” before the President’s speech last week at the NALEO conference:
Judging from Obama’s actions at this years National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO) luncheon, Obama’s newest fear is Latinos with forks. Obama had the Secret Service confiscate all the dinner forks from the participants at the June 22 event held in Orlando, Florida.
Hats off, Breitbarfers! You discovered a new conspiracy where none existed before, and you didn’t have to use deceptively-edited video to make your fake-ass point.
Mas…Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’
(PNS reporting from NEW NEW YORK CITY) Attention, pochas y pochos! Interstellar starship captain and Mutants’ Rights advocate Turanga Leela is warning of serious side-effects from a popularly-priced hair care product you may be using at this very moment.
Leela thinks her late mother Munda’s use of Aqua Net hairspray is the reason she’s a loveless mutant with only one eye, and says the ingredient cyclopentasiloxane is the culprit.
“I mean the name STARTS with cyclop, how did people miss that?” she asked a press conference in New New York City Sunday (photo, above.)
Aqua Net hairspray is a must-carry purse item for every well-prepared pocha, according to a recent survey, and is used as a “bug spray, deodorant and a…substitute for glue.”
Mas…Pochas y pochos, beware! Aqua Net hairspray may cause mutations
Who can kiss mas butt? President Barack Obama and Gov. Mitt Romney both spoke to the National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials last week in La Florida. So who won the contest of Los Panderos? The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart reports.
