Will ‘Fifty Shades of Brown’ dominate Latino erotica market?

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(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Major book publisher Vintage House Editions announced the release this week of a Latino version of the popular soft-porn bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey.

Written by Santa Fe-based author Carmen Camacho, Fifty Shades of Brown is the erotic tale of a young woman swept up by a charming, detached older man and their tumultuous path towards amor.

The Spanish version of the original book, 50 Tonos de Café, has already been optioned for a Univision telenovela to be titled Te Sigo Pegando.

“Fifty Shades of Brown was written with the Latino market in mind and includes culturally-specific elements like facial hair, tequila and charreada-style BDSM instead of just the normal kind,” according to Vintage House spokesman Tristan Caldwell. “We think we can tie this audience up.”

Mas…Will ‘Fifty Shades of Brown’ dominate Latino erotica market?

Puerto Rican scientists ready to activate Large Piña Collider

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(PNS reporting from PUERTO RICO) With construction and testing officially completed on the Large Piña Collider (LAPICO), scientists here are ready to begin their high-tech search for the elusive sub-atomic particle that powers the popular cocktail.

LAPICO is a tunnel 25km (15.5 miles) in circumference in the western half of the island, southeast of San Sebastian (satellite photo, above.) Its ring of ice-cooled vacuum pipes are capable of accelerating a stream of maraschino cherries up to 99% of the speed of light (SOL.)

Once the cherries are launched and precision measuring devices determine they are virtually SOL they are fired into a solid pineapple wedge suspended in a large tank of white rum in a state of Marreri-Cofresí equilibrium. The scattered fragments of the collision are measured by a network of repurposed breathalyzer devices and then plotted by computer.

Scientists hope that the Large Piña Collider will be able to find evidence of the elusive Jugos Boson, the so-called Cream Particle which gives all coconut products their silky mouth-feel.

Mas…Puerto Rican scientists ready to activate Large Piña Collider

Mexican-American Chamber of Commerce: ‘Mexicans work better’

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The Mexican-American Chamber of Commerce and the U.S. Labor Department are launching a campaign to promote Hispanic workers.

The Mexicans Work Better campaign encourages American business owners to hire Latino workers for whatever jobs are open and at whatever salary.

“Since the Spanish arrival in the Americas, Latinos have been great workers. We want to encourage U.S. business owners to continue to hire them, at whatever cost,” Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Adrian García told a Monday morning press conference in the Watergate Hotel.

“By hiring Latino workers, business owners get people with a good work ethic, and Latinos get the chance to buy themselves a pack of tortillas — maybe even two. It’s a fair trade.”

Mas…Mexican-American Chamber of Commerce: ‘Mexicans work better’

Write, draw or shoot for POCHO and win the respect of your peers

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Face it, pochos, money can’t buy you love. But respect –R-E-S-P-E-C-T — well, that can go a long way towards letting your love light shine.

And that’s why we want to remind you once again of a very special opportunity to earn the respect of your peers, street cred in your neighborhood and, possibly, the approbation of total strangers from all across the InterT00bZ, if not actual cash.

All you need to do is to send POCHO your dreams and nightmares for distribution on the World Wide Web — for the greater good of humanity. Send original photos, videos, cartoons, illustrations, short stories and ñews that will amuse, titillate and elevate America.  Is that so much to ask?

Mas…Write, draw or shoot for POCHO and win the respect of your peers

Ñewsweek: Senior radioactive terrorist, Cuatro de Julio, Frida Kahlo

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When quick-thinking U.S. Border Patrol agents detected nuclear radiation coming from the car and determined the passenger was named Raul Castro — just like the brother of murderous dictator Fidel Castro from that prison island of Cuba — they only had one choice:

Detain and interrogate.

The elderly suspect was eventually “free to go” but not before the Federales made sure that radioactive pacemaker in his chest wasn’t really a roadside bomb.  And America was safe for another day, free from radioactive terrorists like Raul Castro, 96, the Hate State of Arizona’s first Latino governor.

Castro’s brazen escape understandably topped POCHO’s ñewsweek, but wait, there’s more!

We also covered the birthday of eyebrow enthusiast Frida Kahlo and the suppressed history of our National Anthem, composed by star-spangled beaners.

Links? We have ’em!:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Senior radioactive terrorist, Cuatro de Julio, Frida Kahlo

When Spanish in school was illegal: ‘When I Dream Dreams’ (video)

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Once upon a time in America, Latino kids were not allowed to speak Spanish in school. This documentary recalls those days.

In 1918, Texas, along with many other states, enacted statutes that made the speaking of any language other than English on public school grounds illegal. These laws remained active until the U.S. Congress passed the Bilingual Education Act in 1968.

Through personal interviews with distinguished leaders and educators — all native Spanish/English-speakers — When I Dream Dreams explores the complex psychological and social effects of these laws by relating the experiences of these people as students and, later, as teachers, professors, and legislators.

When I Dream Dreams was made by four students enrolled in an alternative media course at Trinity University in 2001. It has won prizes and festival appearances around the United States, including Best Student Film at the San Francisco Latino Film Festival 2002, Best of the Fest at Cine Accion 2002, and official selection at San Antonio’s Cine Festival 2002. The piece takes its name from the poem by Carmen Tafolla.

From Archive.org

Pocho Ocho ways birthday girl Frida Kahlo has influenced our lives

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Those eyebrows, that hair, those monkeys. Happy birthday Frida Kahlo! We celebrate your awesome influence on our pocho lives by listing the top eight ways you’ve influenced us.

8. Made us think we, too, could be an artist. After all, she painted her own reality, right?

7. Inspired us to stop plucking your eyebrows. Or maybe you just didn’t feel like a chola anymore.

6. Helped us fall in love. If Frida could love a crazy fat man like Diego Rivera, surely the love of your life — and his panza — are worth the ride, too!

Mas…Pocho Ocho ways birthday girl Frida Kahlo has influenced our lives

Mexclusive: ‘Google Doodle’ honors Frida Kahlo’s 105th birthday!

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(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) In honor of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo’s 105th birthday Friday, Google is featuring a special Google Doodle commemorating her contributions to international art.

Born on July 6, 1907, Kahlo was a surrealist painter and smoker who is best known for her brilliant self-portraits, her tragic life and her stormy relationships with such global figures as Diego Rivera, Leon Trotsky and Josephine Baker.

Kahlo was known to be uncompromising in her art, her politics and her famous monobrow, which launched a feminist revival and Fridamania craze in the 1990s and also extended the co-ed bisexual experimentation stage from one to two semesters.

Mas…Mexclusive: ‘Google Doodle’ honors Frida Kahlo’s 105th birthday!

Anti-terror WIN! Wrinkled AZ governor detained by U.S. Border Patrol

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Quick-thinking U.S. Border Patrol agents, inspired by the skull-melting Arizona heat, have captured an elderly terrorist who was hell-bent on turning the vast wasteland known as Arizona into a vast radioactive wasteland.

Or was it the nation’s oldest living ex-governor, Raul Castro (photo,right), 96, who was detained at a border patrol checkpoint in the brutal Arizona morning heat after agents found he posed a “radiation risk” following his heart pacemaker operation?

Mas…Anti-terror WIN! Wrinkled AZ governor detained by U.S. Border Patrol

Andy Griffith, ‘America’s Sheriff’ dies, AZ Sheriff Arpaio tragically lives

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Beloved acting legend Andy Griffith, known for his starring role as the sheriff on The Andy Griffith Show and later on the long-running series Matlock, died Tuesday and was buried yesterday in North Carolina. Tragically, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio is still clinging to life.

Bill Douters of the Dare County, NC Coroner’s Office confirmed the 86-year-old’s death:

God has taken Andy Griffith, one of our most beloved actors, and residents, but yet He spared the brutal and racist animal Sheriff Joe Arpaio?

The Sheriff of Maricopa County, AZ, Arpaio is 80 years old, and is, sadly, in good health.

Mas…Andy Griffith, ‘America’s Sheriff’ dies, AZ Sheriff Arpaio tragically lives

It’s the bomb! Five-Second Films: ‘Vocabulario Explosivo’ (video)

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Yup. You figured it out. A five-second-long explosive video meant to help your Spanish vocabulary. Click to play. What do you have to lose?  OK.  Five seconds of your life.  Eight seconds if you include the opening and closing credits.  And yet, having a good vocabulary is worth the time. Am I right, people? *applause*

Pocho Ocho favorite Mexican fireworks

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Used to be you could always celebrate the Fourth of July along the border in the most patriotic way: by detonating illegal Mexican fireworks.

Here are some of our favorite dangerous Mexican fireworks from when men were men, and fireworks were weapons grade bundles o’ fun!

8. Guadalajara Guarheads
7. Tijuana TNT
6. La La La La La Bomba

Mas…Pocho Ocho favorite Mexican fireworks

This just in: Apparently I am an ‘obvious American!’ Happy July 4!

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I’ve been trying to make light of the Arizona “show me your papers” law in my stand-up but I don’t think people get it.

And I don’t think it’s because I’m a terrible comic (although that’s open to interpretation) but because people in general don’t really grasp what the law implies.

As a South American immigrant with a very paranoid Latina mother, I’ve lived with the fear of “show me your papers” most of my life.

Despite, being white and well assimilated (like a borg), I’ve carried my Social Security card and passport since I became a citizen.

Just last month, I was working on a film set and the consent form said, “Please provide proof of citizenship.” I panicked a little because I forgot my passport. As soon as I handed my paperwork to the agent, he looked me over and said,”Obviously, you were born in America…”

Mas…This just in: Apparently I am an ‘obvious American!’ Happy July 4!

Small Georgia town bans sale, use of ‘illegal alien paraphernalia’

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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) The City of Morrow, GA voted yesterday to ban “illegal alien paraphernalia.”

City Ordinance 187 — the so-called Press A Tortilla Go to Jail law — is a response to the Supreme Court’s ruling that Arizona  SB 1070 was mostly unconstitutional.

The small town (population 4882) banned the sale and use within the city limits of:

“Illegal alien paraphernalia including, but not limited to

  • batas,
  • molcajetes,
  • tortilla presses,
  • international calling cards,
  • Mexican Coca-Cola and
  • Mexican soccer team accessories.”

The news wasn’t well received among Morrow’s small Hispanic community.

Five-year Morrow resident and Mexico native José Luis Gallegos said, “Qué se vayan a la chingada,” roughly translated as, “This is a heinous law.”

Mas…Small Georgia town bans sale, use of ‘illegal alien paraphernalia’

Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?

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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) For fashionistas, this July 4 holiday season is less about parades and barbecues and more about flashing your passport, if you have one.

The new patriotic papers fashion flair follows the Supreme Court’s recent decision to uphold the “show me your papers” provisions of SB1070.

And now everybody wants those papers.

After the SCOTUS decision, the State Department’s passport website experienced the highest volume of traffic since Sarah Palin became the Republican Party’s nominee for Vice President in 2008.

Mas…Happy July 4, fashionistas! May I see your papers, please?

Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio launches own tequila brand

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(PNS reporting from BOCADECACA, AZ) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arapio is launching his own brand of tequila, Arpaio Viejo, he told random diners at Gallego’s Mexican Cafe here yesterday.

“I demand high standards for my office and my tequila,” Arpaio told the restaurant full of retirees from states that aren’t Arizona. “I was dissatisfied with the other options on the market, and at my favorite Mexican restaurant, so I decided to create my own.”

Arpaio’s brand will offer the traditional tequila styles of  añejo, plata, and reposado — but that’s not all.

“Later in the year we introduce my super-premium line, called Arpaio Viejo 1070, aged 10 years in mesquite wood barrels in the desert, and then wrapped in pink chonies for seven more years of additional tempering.  You know it’s ready to drink when you pull the cork and instead of breathing, it whimpers.” Arpaio said.

Mas…Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio launches own tequila brand

Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt

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GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney led off the chorus of this week’s reactioneers after the SCOTUS decisions on SB1070 and Obamacare. “We need to implement Labambacare for all Hispanics pronto!” he wrote in a special guest editorial.

Some Arizonans like the SB1070 decision — we have their reactions — but Chicago Congressman Luis Gutierrez ripped the decision to shreds on the floor of the House of Representatives — and we have  the video.

Lots of ñews this past week on POCHO;  here are our top stories:

Mas…Ñewsweek: SCOTUS, SB1070, AZ, Obamacare and Mexican Mitt

Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)

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When we heard one of our favorite Hey Vato! episodes (The Tattoo) would be screening at the San Francisco Frozen Film Festival we knew it was time for a special Sabado Ponchonte Saturday Night Video Festival featuring EVERY episode of our favorite web series, in order, so here they are. Hey Vatos! Orale!

Mas…Complete ‘Hey Vato!’ NSFW existential angst of Chuy y Smiley (videos)

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull, wicked witch of the Southwest (toon)

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Captain Pocho vs the Red Skull (aka Jan Brewer) Just thought I’d draw something for POCHO regarding the SB1070 ruling for this Fourth of July weekend. As a Chicano comic book nerd and artist, this is the best way for me to strike back against the Wicked Witch of the Southwest.

Gabriel Tellez Jr. is the vato behind The Misadventures of Pepito and Juan, serialized this Spring on POCHO.

Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do for July 4th

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FIREWORKS: Mission Pocho Viejo American Legion Post 536 once again presents their Annual Fireworks Extravagonzo Wednesday at sunset. This year the pyrotechnics come from Zamboni Bros., new to California, with their presentation Hella Hockey Holiday – a tribute to the Estanley Cup World Champions, Los Reyes de Los Angeles. Moms: bring your blankets and sit the kids on the grass at Sotomayor Stadium. Dads: Do NOT bring your own fireworks.

INK AND DRINK: Two businesses in the El Rancho Pocho Downtown Historical District are getting together for a patriotic combo deal that’s hard to beat. Get any flag or patriotic tat at Inky Dinky’s House of Pain on Porciuncula Place Saturday through Monday and Inky will slide you a $10 pre-paid bar tab for the Loco Lounge next door. And guys, if you like thick chicks, you’ll love new tattoo artist Salma’s Fernando Botero-inspired portraits of your true hyna, right over your heart.

Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do for July 4th

Apology: These POCHO comments are ham not spam

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POCHO encourages live unmoderated reader comments without registration (democratic but dangerous) so we employ a robot named Akismet to help us weed out spam.

The bot’s not perfect, though. Sometimes legitimate comments get mistakenly trapped by Akismet, which uses artificial intelligence to decide if a comment is Spam (bad) or Ham (good).

Here, with our apologies, are a few comments that were mistakenly flagged as Spam:

Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 10:26 pm
This is the exact AZ’s hater history: Public Enemy ‘By the Time I Get to Arizona’ : Pocho diary for anyone who wants to attempt out out active this issue. You respond so such its virtually wearying to argue with you (not that I rattling would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new rotate on a matter thats been engrossed some for years. City block, but zealous!

Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 9:44 pm
Taking the course of least level of resistance could be the desired manner of functioning for several. It needs to be an enormous revolution for a lot of, nevertheless My spouse and i hesitation they could keep their particular outdated way of managing this looking at just this 1 article. With luck , most split via

Mas…Apology: These POCHO comments are ham not spam

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