bordertown

Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if someone is a member of ‘LA RAZA’

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curiel-trumpcardcarryingYou know that “Mexican Judge,” Gonzalo P. Curiel? He can’t be impartial in the Trump University fraud case because he’s a member of that militant Mexican cabal known as LA RAZA.

And he’s not the only one! After all, you can’t have a conspiracy with only one conspirator, amirite?

There might even be card-carrying members of LA RAZA in your neighborhood, at your job, talking about you in Spanish at the next table over, or ohmygod in your kids’ schools!

Be aware and be prepared, America.

Here are the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Tell if Someone Is A Member Of LA RAZA:

8. Nopal en la frente

7. MEChA meeting

6. No era penal

Mas…Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if someone is a member of ‘LA RAZA’

In 1959, this country singer just loved ‘Tiquela & Mexican Beer’ (video)

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bryanrecord45In 1959, country singer Larry Bryant released a 45 celebrating his love of Tiquela & Mexican Beer. Music trade magazine Billboard called it “interesting” — not a good sign — and the record never made much of a splash.

But the original 45 (#101 — the first release?) on Santa Fe Records is a $25 collector’s item these days, so Bryant and friends were validated over 50 years later.

And even though his speeling is owlfull, we’re 100% in agreement with Larry’s high opinion of the aforementioned beverages, as well as his love for Mexican señoritas, tacos, tortillas and beans.

Mas…In 1959, this country singer just loved ‘Tiquela & Mexican Beer’ (video)

Today’s POCHO Hatemail: You pathetic little burritos are obviously idiots

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trumpshairForgive me for the very long message, but oh, you did allow me a lot of room.

Saw the little cartoon you burritos did calling Trump a nazi. All the rubbish aside, it isn't even slightly funny, or amusing, or witty. Just on the strength of the cartoon, you're obviously idiots. But you're also crackpots, and slanderers. And you're really inane and trite too, since it takes about one brain cell to quack that someone's a nazi, and people do it so often, being idiots like yourselves, that it's so unbelievably unoriginal, and pathetic. But that aside, you would have to be absolute scum to call someone a nazi as an insult. Especially someone who has a Jewish daughter. i mean you'd have to be an imbecile, and someone without shame, but also a real scumbag. And your loathsome, cretinous insults are one thing, but it is slander. Slander unless you can prove it. Now if you're going to call someone a nazi, then prove it - because that's what people with some sense of honor do when they make a serious and profoundly negative accusation against someone, they prove it (or they withdraw it).

Mas…Today’s POCHO Hatemail: You pathetic little burritos are obviously idiots

Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has ‘Gone Hollywood’

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pennelchapoEl Chapo’s secret meetup with Sean Penn was just the tip of the iceberg, Goldberg, whatever.

The notorious drug lord is a whole new vato now — and here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has “Gone Hollywood”:

8. He’s dating Kate Hudson

7. He’s on an all-cactus juice cleanse to drop weight for the upcoming pilot season

6. He just reached 200k followers on Instagram

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has ‘Gone Hollywood’

A funny thing happened on the way to ‘Bordertown’

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BordertownBarracudaEPNHola. I’m Lalo Alcaraz. You might know me.

I have been a Chicano political cartoonist forever. I know, I know, it’s God’s work, you’re welcome. Now, all of a sudden I’m a primetime TV writer and producer. Huh? Yes, the last two years in my life have been a super WTF. With ten percent LOL. #facepalm

Like it or not, I am now part of a historic pop culture moment: the first season of the first animated primetime TV show featuring a large cast of Mexican and Mexican-American characters: Bordertown.

Mas…A funny thing happened on the way to ‘Bordertown’

Roots of Chicano Satire: Lalo Guerrero and Culture Clash (videos)

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Before there was Bordertown, there was The Culture Clash show. Only about TWENTY-SOMETHING YEARS AGO, so SUCK IT humorless haters!

(It was my first showbiz writing gig!) Big props and eternal thanks to the Culture Clash guys!

And before all of us, there was LALO GUERRERO doing Chicano satire, hell, INVENTING it! Check out Guerrero’s singing There’s No Chicanos on TV!

Mas…Roots of Chicano Satire: Lalo Guerrero and Culture Clash (videos)

Lalo Alcaraz: My Excellent Texalent ‘Bordertown’ Adventure (photos)

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crackerbarrelmcallen(TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20 2015 – TEXAS, USA) I’m “on tour” in South Texas, down along the border, screening episodes of the animated series Bordertown, which debuts next year on FOX.

It’s exotic! The indigenous cuisine served ^^^ at the Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, in McAllen, is like nothing I’ve previously encountered – it’s “quirky.” And I was surrounded by crackers; barrels not so much.

Mas…Lalo Alcaraz: My Excellent Texalent ‘Bordertown’ Adventure (photos)

Lalo Alcaraz: My Big Fat Mexican Detroit Weekend (photos)

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detroitfI spent several days in Detroit this weekend with the UNITY Diversity in Journalism group, bringing our perspective as journalists of color to two vibrant local communities.

We had a panel at the gorgeous Arab American National Museum in Dearborn, and discussed the situation of Arab American media portrayals from our varied panelists.

At the end of this fruitful panel, I brought up how my last name Alcaraz, has Arabic language roots, and how I looked it up online to translate it. I was hopping it meant, Great Warrior, or Smart Guy, but instead it came up as “The Cherry.”

Mas…Lalo Alcaraz: My Big Fat Mexican Detroit Weekend (photos)

Clip y Save: Fall screenings of ‘Bordertown,’ maybe near you *UPDATED

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bordertownIf you follow POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and me, POCHO Associate Naranjero Gustavo Arellano, you know that we’ve been shamelessly promoting the upcoming FOX animated cartoon, Bordertown.

In case you’re just some random Googler who stumbled across this page, here’s the synopsis: BORDERTOWN satirizes life on the U.S.-Mexico border — la migra, changing demographics, religion, the drug war, and so much more.

Yeah, part of it is shameless self-promotion — I’m a consultant, while Lalo is a staff writer. But we’re doing it because we truly do believe this series is the Great Brown Hope: the network program that will finally show raza in all our hilarious, proud, chingón glory and that will become a ratings smash that’ll allow the beginning of #televisionreconquista.

Mas…Clip y Save: Fall screenings of ‘Bordertown,’ maybe near you *UPDATED

Al Madrigal is a coconut on a quest for identity: ‘Half Like Me’ (video)

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alcoconutPOCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal’s epic quest for identity — Half Like Me — debuts on FUSION next Thursday.

Coconut Madrigal (white inside, brown outside) knew turning an intensely personal journey into a docu-comedy wouldn’t be one easy trick, but he never anticipated what happened next.

“I set out to dial down my pocho level from a ten to a five,” he told POCHO in a text message Tuesday night, “and ultimately something much greater and unexpected happened. I ended up not giving a shit.”

“I encourage others to try it, feels great.”

Al got some help from three mostly-reliable sources:

Mas…Al Madrigal is a coconut on a quest for identity: ‘Half Like Me’ (video)

Los Pochodores: Our Pocho Ocho Top New Year’s Resolutions

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resolutionWe asked the POCHO posse to share their New Year’s Resolutions for 2015. After the responses came in, we picked the best answers, and then carefully removed all the information that could personally identify the authors because El Cucuy.

And so we present Los Pochodores’ Pocho Ocho Top New Year Revolutions:

8. Update my Nahuatl name to reflect my aspirations.

7. Get in shape for the Grito Contest at Charro Days.

6. Start a frijoles community garden for my locavore needs.

Mas…Los Pochodores: Our Pocho Ocho Top New Year’s Resolutions

Write, shoot, draw for POCHO and become rich and famous*

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You could be rich and famous*

That’s right — you sitting there in your PJs, bunny slippers and Frida Kahlo unibrow.

After all, you know better than other people on the Internets, and if you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?

Donut despair! You can turn your Aztlan acumen into fame y fortune in a matter of weeks, and

It’s easier than you think.

These are the factoids:

This is a proven method that

  • propelled openly-Chicano Lalo Alcaraz and Gustavo Arellano to writing gigs at a new Fox sitcom,
  • zoomed actor and comic Al Madrigal to The Daily Show and
  • teleported NYC standup Elise Roedenbeck from dimly-lit stages in the East Village to the bright TV lights of the new FUSION network in Miami.

Mas…Write, shoot, draw for POCHO and become rich and famous*

Contribute to POCHO, get discovered, become rich and famous*

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You could be rich and famous*

That’s right — you sitting there in your PJs, bunny slippers and Frida Kahlo unibrow.

After all, you know better than other people on the Internets, and if you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?

Donut despair! You can turn your Aztlan acumen into fame y fortune in a matter of weeks, and

It’s easier than you think.

These are the factoids:

This is a proven method that

  • propelled openly-Chicano Lalo Alcaraz and Gustavo Arellano to writing gigs at a new Fox sitcom,
  • zoomed actor and comic Al Madrigal to The Daily Show and
  • teleported NYC standup Elise Roedenbeck from dimly-lit stages in the East Village to the bright TV lights of the new FUSION network in Miami.

Mas…Contribute to POCHO, get discovered, become rich and famous*

Lalo Alcaraz, Al Madrigal and Maria Conchita Alonso (audio)

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mariaandtequila
POCHO’s Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and Migrant Editor Al Madrigal were on the LatinoUSA airwaves to give a partial “thumbs up” to Maria Conchita Alonso‘s foray in politics with an ad backing a Tea Party candidate for Cali governator. It’s funny, they say, and looking at her entry on IMDB, she probably needed the work. Also, Alonso’s decision to feature her Chihuahua named Tequila (photo, above), wasn’t a stereotypical thing to do at all.

Mexclusive: Hollywood has called my bluff with ‘Bordertown’ at Fox!

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bordetowntoonborderstereotypestweetFox has just announced the pickup of a new animated TV show called Bordertown, debuting in 2014. It was created by the showrunner of Family Guy, Mark Hentemann.

I was offered a gig writing and consulting on the show, and I happily accepted.

This will be the first animated prime time network TV show with a significant number of Latino characters.

Over half the cast will Mexican or Mexican-Americans or Chicanos. It will be historic.

Mas…Mexclusive: Hollywood has called my bluff with ‘Bordertown’ at Fox!