From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)


Hey! I took Russki in college. Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле means “corpse of a chupacabra [found] in Venezuela.”

Poor Venezuela. Ever since Commandante Hugo Chavez died, his chosen successor Nicolas Maduro has had to cope with a series of Yanqui plots that are screwing up the economy in his socialist paradise.

First came the toilet paper shortage which Maduro blamed on imperialist sabotage, although he later tried to paint it as an example of his economic successes, claiming Venezuelan shit production had reached record levels, thereby outstripping the papel hygenico supply.

Mas…From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)

Did Uncle Sam kill Tupac Shakur and Michael Jackson? (video)


Did the United States government kill Tupac Shakur and Michael Jackson as part of a plot to “control African-American youth through their music?” Former Defense Department operative Robert Connors says we’ll find out Monday next week! [Note: We tried to run a copy of this video earlier today but it was removed from LiveLeak just after we published our story at 7:30 AM. Please email editor@pocho.com if you see a ‘video no longer exists’ screen before we notice it. Gracias.]

MX UFO/OVNI Report: ‘Several orbs, extreme speed, stop instantly’

glowingorbsFrom the case files of the Mutual UFO Network:

Long Description of Sighting Report: UFO incident

Date Submitted: August 24, 2013
Sierra del Cautivo section
Sierra Madre Oriental at the point of the border of the States of Tamsulipas and Nuevo Leon, approximately 30 miles north-northwest of Ciudad Victoria,Tamaulipas, Mexico

The hours between 20:50, 2 August 2013 and 03:00 3 August 2013:

At that time it is usually possible to find me on the west-facing corridor of our little adobe home in a rural area about 25 miles northwest of Ciudad Victoria, Tamaulipas. The west-facing view gives a good point of observation of the complex of the Sierra del Cautivo, which is a cordillera of the general ranges of the Sierra Madre Oriental. The elevations change sharply from our place….at about 1,000 feet….to parallel ridges of increasingly high mountains that rise to over 5,000 feet within 5 miles of our little place and then on up to nearly 13,000 feet within 30 miles as one moves further to the west. These mountains are essentially impenetrable, very rugged.

Mas…MX UFO/OVNI Report: ‘Several orbs, extreme speed, stop instantly’

Marina’s Way: A Cyber-Novela [Chapter One]

2marina900Marina is exhausted but exhilarated. Her entrails are convulsing violently as she pumps hundreds of rounds into the hordes of CSA Minutemen coming at her from all sides. After two sleepless nights of hard battle, she can barely hold onto the trigger, which is a throttle gyrating wildly in her hands.

She is emptying magazines from eight different machine guns placed strategically on the exoskeleton of her BattleBot or “Bot.” Bots are oversized suits of armor, equipped with lasers, machine guns, rocket launchers, grenades, poison gas canisters and other weapons systems.

Bots are operated by specialized Bot Pilots working deep inside the steel behemoths, which weigh thousands of pounds and stand five stories high. BattleBots were secretly developed by the U.S. Army and were now widely used by armies around the world.

“Incoming,” squawks Marina’s radar. “Shit! Some pinche vendido traitor ratted us out,” Marina hisses into her headset as fighter jets roar overhead and the forest explodes all around her.

Mas…Marina’s Way: A Cyber-Novela [Chapter One]

Mexican paleontologists unearth 15-foot-long dinosaur tail (video)


It’s 72 million years old and really impressive, dug into the desert just across el otro lado from Texas. From the AP:

Mexican paleontologists say they have uncovered 50 vertebrae believed to be a full dinosaur tail in the northern desert of Coahuila state. The National Institute of Anthropology and History [INAH] says the tail is about 15 feet (5 meters) long and resembles that of a hadrosaur or crested duckbill dinosaur…. Paleontologist Felisa Aguilar says they uncovered roughly half of the dinosaur, which was 36 feet (12 meters) long and lived about 72 million years ago.

Mas…Mexican paleontologists unearth 15-foot-long dinosaur tail (video)

Popocatépetl erupts again, threat level raised, and we’ve got videos


National Geographic reports:

Less than 40 miles outside of Mexico City, the volcano Popocatépetl is erupting, sending ash plumes roughly two miles into the atmosphere. Over the weekend, airlines took the precaution of cancelling flights out of Mexico City, even though the airport itself remained open.

Authorities have upgraded the threat status of the volcano from Yellow-Phase 2 to Yellow-Phase 3.

This news report from Canal Estrella TV (video, above) offers an aerial perspective you don’t often get to see.

Here’s the PopoCam video:

Mas…Popocatépetl erupts again, threat level raised, and we’ve got videos

Food News: Flying burger copter delivers lunch in England (video)


It’s not bogus like the taco copter or merely a proof of concept like the flying burrito bomber. It’s not a product that hasn’t shipped yet, like the 3D tortilla printer. The flying hamburger copter is here; actually it’s over there, in London. As a matter of fact, if you’re in London now, order a burger to go with everything on it to be delivered to the POCHO office. When they ask for money, tell ’em Wimpy sent you.

Are UFO/OVNIs flying into the Popocatepetl volcano AGAIN? (video)


That Popocatepetl OVNI/UFO that wasn’t really there last time is back again, captured over the weekend by the 24/7 PopoCam. This time, the “optical illusion” — or whatever they end up calling it — heads from outer espace PAST the smoldering crater and then hangs a U-TURN before diving into the volcano.

PREVIOUSLY ON EL POPO UFO/OVNI WATCH:

Mas…Are UFO/OVNIs flying into the Popocatepetl volcano AGAIN? (video)

Obama visits Oklahoma to inspect damage caused by weather machine

(PNS reporting from OKLAHOMA) Standing by a pile of debris that once was an elementary school, President Barack Obama on Sunday called the destruction caused last week’s tornado “fairly devastating” and vowed to seek additional funding to increase the catastrophic power of his weather control program.

Obama’s E-5 category tornado killed two dozen people, ripped a 17-mile-long corridor of destruction through the suburb of Oklahoma City, flattening entire blocks of homes, two schools and a hospital.

“This is nothing. Obviously we can do better,” the president said, standing on a block where lumber, bricks and concrete that used to be houses and businesses lined the side of the street. Items that survived the disaster – a blender, a pink baby carriage – stood in stark contrast to most of the wreckage.

Mas…Obama visits Oklahoma to inspect damage caused by weather machine

Fried axolotl, you’re the juan, you make dinner full of yum (photos)

Wikipedia: The [totally cute] axolotl, or Mexican salamander (Ambystoma mexicanum) is a neotenic salamander, closely related to the tiger salamander. Larvae of this species fail to undergo metamorphosis, so the adults remain aquatic and gilled. It is also called ajolote [ɑːhɒˈlɔte] (which is also a common name for different types of salamander).The species originates from numerous lakes, such as Lake Xochimilco underlying Mexico City. Axolotls are used extensively in scientific research due to their ability to regenerate limbs.

They are also totally delicious when deep-fried in Osaka, Japan:

Mas…Fried axolotl, you’re the juan, you make dinner full of yum (photos)

Breaking: Ancient Mayan pyramid foreclosed on, demolished

(PNS reporting from BELIZE CITY) The Nohmul complex, an ancient Mayan pyramid in the north of this Central American country, was recently bulldozed by a local contractor who used the crushed rock to “fill” a road. Nohmul was utilized as a ceremonial center 2,300 years ago.

After public outcry from archaeologists, local authorities said they would investigate the demolition.

Belize real estate attorney Alejandro Bolsa de Duchez defended the destruction:

Mas…Breaking: Ancient Mayan pyramid foreclosed on, demolished

Call me ‘Mr. Balls’ — I’m Brazil’s testicular cancer mascot (photos)

“Really big testicles.” Where have we heard that lately? Oh, yes the songified stylings of Cleveland’s Charles Ramsey, describing his neighbor the alleged kidnapper. But have we SEEN really big testicles? No, we have not, until the Internet angels brought us these photos of Senhor Testiculo, who is the mascot of the AAPEC Brazilian cancer society.

We have some more photos below and then a link to the photo gallery at the society. There’s also a special link to a news story about a guy who just had surgery to deal with his 134-pound scrotum. No photos of that, though. That would be gross.

Mas…Call me ‘Mr. Balls’ — I’m Brazil’s testicular cancer mascot (photos)

LOLS: Siri talks to Google Voice who talks to Siri who talks to… (video)


A student at Pratt in New York set up a text-to-speech-to-text loop and the results are amazing and funny. We’ll let Michael Silber explain:

PROCESS

  1. I recorded the audio of Siri reading a selection of text.
  2. I placed a call to myself and played the Siri audio recording into my Google Voice voicemail.
  3. I instructed Siri to read the new Google Voice transcription, including any errors, and recorded a new audio clip.
  4. I placed a call to myself and played the new Siri audio recording back into my Google Voice voicemail.

— I repeated these steps for 50 iterations.

Mas…LOLS: Siri talks to Google Voice who talks to Siri who talks to… (video)

Oxnard man says ‘Hand of God’ saved family from salsa poisoning

Jar of Herdez Salsa Casera(PNS reporting from OXNARD, CA) Sam Fuentes is certain he and his kids would be dead today if God hadn’t intervened.

“The Lord Almighty — with a strong hand and an outstretched arm — saved us from the Grim Reaper, that’s for sure!” the Del Norte businessman and father of two told PNS. “That salsa coulda killed us, but it didn’t.”

Fuentes called the POCHO ñewsroom tipline (408-POCHO-28) to share his story.

The brush with death by salsa, his voicemail said, began Sunday morning after church when he began preparing pot roast for his children Selena, 9, and Chente, 11, who were “his” over the weekend per terms of the custody agreement with his ex-wife Evangelina.

“I got the recipe right off the Internets from the Herdez gente. I trust Herdez Salsa Casera. I have toda confianza, just like the label says. It’s Mexico’s favorite and my mom always swore by it,” Fuentes said:

Mas…Oxnard man says ‘Hand of God’ saved family from salsa poisoning

Don’t mess w/ Texas! ‘ThumbSnatchers from the Moon Cocoon’ (video)


Guns don’t kill people, opposable thumbs that pull triggers on guns kill people. And that’s why our Alien Overlords have returned to end our evil ways — by ending our evil thumbs. But the invading Thumb Snatchers from the Moon Cocoon (stupid lunar Daleks with green blood) didn’t reckon on Texas Sheriff Huckiss. The law in Texas doesn’t give much slack to illegal aliens.

Did chupacabras kill 42 sheep on Honduras congressman’s farm?

Farmworkers showing up at Honduras Congressman Valentin Suárez’ farm near Comayagua last week “found dozens of dead sheep with injuries to their necks. Others had bled to death. Nearly 42 animals were lifeless and another 10 injured,” according to the Inexplicata blog, translating a report from Honduras’ La Prensa:

The cost of each animal is between 1000 and 1,500 lempiras [$50-75]…. Suarez said that the farm’s staff will keep a nocturnal watch in the hopes of finding any clue that may clarify the situation.

Mas…Did chupacabras kill 42 sheep on Honduras congressman’s farm?