Breaking: Princeton handyman sues hospital for loss of hand

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(PNS reporting from PRINCETON) Area handyman Alfredo Serricchio (photo) plans to sue Princeton–Plainsboro Teaching Hospital (PPTH) for the “egregious medical malpractice” that resulted in the amputation of his right hand, his lawyer announced Tuesday.

“He’s just this hard-working, formerly right-handed immigrant who was fixing a rich doctor’s roof and the next thing you know he has only one hand, and it’s his left hand!” attorney John E. Brockman told PNS.

“He’s a handyman for Pete’s sake! You can’t be a handyman without a hand! That is indubitably egregious, irresponsible, unconscionable and irrefutable, and we think it’s worth six million dollars!”

Alfredo, a construction worker at Dr. Lisa Cuddy’s house, had complained on Sept. 27, 2005 that his asthma was acting up, and then fell off the roof onto the concrete. At PPTH he could not breathe, and Cuddy noticed two of the fingers on his right hand turned purple, according to Brockman. “His glove didn’t fit,” he said. “They had to admit.”

The attorney continued:

Mas…Breaking: Princeton handyman sues hospital for loss of hand

Obama visits Oklahoma to inspect damage caused by weather machine

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(PNS reporting from OKLAHOMA) Standing by a pile of debris that once was an elementary school, President Barack Obama on Sunday called the destruction caused last week’s tornado “fairly devastating” and vowed to seek additional funding to increase the catastrophic power of his weather control program.

Obama’s E-5 category tornado killed two dozen people, ripped a 17-mile-long corridor of destruction through the suburb of Oklahoma City, flattening entire blocks of homes, two schools and a hospital.

“This is nothing. Obviously we can do better,” the president said, standing on a block where lumber, bricks and concrete that used to be houses and businesses lined the side of the street. Items that survived the disaster – a blender, a pink baby carriage – stood in stark contrast to most of the wreckage.

Mas…Obama visits Oklahoma to inspect damage caused by weather machine

Breaking: University of Phoenix admission thrills local woman

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(PNS reporting from WAUKEGAN, IL) Erlinda Morales has wanted an MBA degree for years, but it wasn’t until a Facebook ad for the University of Phoenix popped into her newsfeed that her dream began to come true.

“All I had to do was click on the ad, fill out a form, and all of a sudden I’m in graduate school getting my Masters in Business Administration! This is the happiest day of my life!” she posted on a Facebook Status Update Sunday afternoon.

“They’re such a big deal, they have ads everywhere — not just any school would be able to advertise like that,” she bragged.

Mas…Breaking: University of Phoenix admission thrills local woman

Sheriff Joe is racist, says Federal judge, and Pocho Ocho other things

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The news broke out of Phoenix late Friday, but to tell you the truth, we weren’t surprised. Judge G. Murray Snow of the United States District Court for Arizona officially declared the policing policies of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio unconstitutionally “racist.”

The New York Times summed up the decision this way:

… the sheriff relied on racial profiling and illegal detentions to target Latinos, using their ethnicity as the main basis for suspecting they were in the country illegally. Many of the people targeted were American citizens or legal residents.

It took us a while to read the entire ruling but we went through the whole thing and came up with eight additional findings about “America’s toughest sheriff”:

Mas…Sheriff Joe is racist, says Federal judge, and Pocho Ocho other things

Raza in Espace: Commander Chakotay, indigenista Starfleet officer

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  The future includes brown. We’ve seen Raza captain spaceships, battle real aliens, and go where no mestizo has gone before. They invent and create. In Raza in Espace, we will highlight Latino characters in science-fiction. Pues, Engage!
 

How do you rebel when you’re raised on an indigenista planet with a traditional tribal culture?

Teenage Chakotay left the tribe and entered Starfleet Academy, and grew up to
became a freedom fighter who engaged the Cardassians and became the voice of reason as Voyager’s first officer during their long journey back to the Alpha Quadrant.

He was also a mentor to Latina engineer, B’Elenna Torres and sported a bad-ass facial tattoo before Mike Tyson.

Commander Chakotay was raised on a planet on the border between the United Federation of Planets and Cardassian Union.

Mas…Raza in Espace: Commander Chakotay, indigenista Starfleet officer

Charlie Sheen debuts ‘Carlos Estevez’ line of Hispanic Charlie Sheen

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(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Charlie Sheen today announced the launch of Carlos Estevez, a new line of Charlie Sheen created to appeal to Hispanic preferences and to specifically meet their needs based on the unique way Hispanics approach entertainment.

Charlie Sheen’s new product targets the burgeoning Hispanic market, now valued at a trillion dollars a year.

The Carlos Estevez line of Charlie Sheen is based on extensive consumer research and will be available soon in the new Robert Rodriguez Machete Kills film, and eventually in various TV commercials for personal injury attorney services and Budweiser Lime-A-Rita spots.

Mas…Charlie Sheen debuts ‘Carlos Estevez’ line of Hispanic Charlie Sheen

Breaking Ñews: San Bernardino teenager addicted to Takis

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(PNS reporting from SAN BERNARDINO) Mary Hernandez has a problem: she’s addicted to Takis. The 17-year-old Californian cannot get enough of the spicy imported Mexican corn chips.

“She eats Takis all the time instead of real food,” lamented her mother Laura, while stirring a pot of beans. “She needs real food; look — she’s getting too skinny!”

Hernandez, a senior at San Bernardino High School, said her Takiphilia began when a friend offered her “just a little taste” behind the gym after school. She snuck a bite and has been madly munching away since.

Mas…Breaking Ñews: San Bernardino teenager addicted to Takis

Fried axolotl, you’re the juan, you make dinner full of yum (photos)

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Wikipedia: The [totally cute] axolotl, or Mexican salamander (Ambystoma mexicanum) is a neotenic salamander, closely related to the tiger salamander.

Larvae of this species fail to undergo metamorphosis, so the adults remain aquatic and gilled.

It is also called ajolote [ɑːhɒˈlɔte] (which is also a common name for different types of salamander).

The species originates from numerous lakes, such as Lake Xochimilco underlying Mexico City.

Axolotls are used extensively in scientific research due to their ability to regenerate limbs.

They are also totally delicious when deep-fried in Osaka, Japan:

Mas…Fried axolotl, you’re the juan, you make dinner full of yum (photos)

Al Madrigal and ex-MSNBC Dylan Ratigan: Cable news blues (video)

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What in the hell is wrong with angry young cable news guy Dylan Ratigan, who quit fame and fortune at MSNBC to become a hydroponic farmer who employs veterans? The Daily Show’s Al Madrigal goes to farmville to find out. [Disclosure: Madrigal is also POCHO’s Migrant Editor.]

Breaking: Mal-Ojo-Ware PC email virus spreads evil eye

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(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) Internet security companies here are warning PC users a new threat could be hitting their email inboxes this week: Mal-Ojo-Ware.

The malicious software penetrates a users’ PC via an inviting email from an attractive young woman or man and then takes control of the computer and sticks the user with mal ojo.

Mas…Breaking: Mal-Ojo-Ware PC email virus spreads evil eye

Secada emerges from the ground after 17 years

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(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) American singer Jon Secada has begun to crawl out of the ground in the Mid-Atlantic area.

The now 50-year-old Secada reemerges every 13 or 17 years somewhere in the eastern half of the United States.

The last time Cuban-born Secada went underground was in 1996, two years after releasing Heart, Soul and a Voice. During his absence he somehow managed to quietly release two greatest hit albums and two Christmas albums, both in English and Spanish.

After re-emerging, Jon Secada typically sheds his crunchy brown exoskeleton and will spend a few weeks of adulthood mating and laying eggs in tree branches. He will also release yet another greatest hits or holiday-themed collection, definitely in Spanish.

Mas…Secada emerges from the ground after 17 years

Villaraigosa’s proposal to new L.A. mayor Garcetti: ‘Be my wingman’

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(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES)  Outgoing Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villariagosa has a proposal for incoming mayor Eric Garcetti: Be my wingman.

Villariagosa has been contemplating life after being LA’s mayor — and it’s not looking good. Reviewing his taste for power and dating attractive women who would be out of his shorty league if he weren’t powerful, Villariagosa told PNS he’s worried.

Mas…Villaraigosa’s proposal to new L.A. mayor Garcetti: ‘Be my wingman’

Immigration Bill clears Senate committee on way to becoming law

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) A bruised, battered and patched-up Immigration Bill cleared a major hurdle Tuesday as a bipartisan 13-5 vote kicked Bill out of the Judiciary Committee and onto the Senate floor.

POCHO caught up with Bill in his dressing room after the committee vote and got him to agree to a short, on-the-record interview:

POCHO: You sleazed past the tricky gay partner trap, you sucked up to the high tech lobby, you bribed the security-is-our-business government contractors and now you’re one step closer to becoming a law. So how does it feel?

IMMIGRATION BILL: What do you want me to say? I’m just a Bill, I’m just a Bill and I’m sitting here on Capitol Hill.

POCHO: How do you get the strength to maintain day after day? What’s your secret?

Mas…Immigration Bill clears Senate committee on way to becoming law

In LaLa Land, in 2005, we were ‘Livin’ Villagairosa’ (audio)

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Antonio Villaraigosa came into the Los Angeles’ Mayor’s office with so much promise in 2005.

My radio show on KPFK, The Pocho Hour of Power (heard Fridays at 4PM PST on 90.7 FM) produced and played this also hopeful and playful tune, Livin’ Villaraigosa, to document the excitement and also skewer the anti-Mexican conspiracy theorists who were raising a Reconquista alarm about Villaraigosa.

Mas…In LaLa Land, in 2005, we were ‘Livin’ Villagairosa’ (audio)

Ask Google: Why do Mexicans stare and eat beans?

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What did we ever do before the Google? Where did a poor pre-Googlite go to find out the big answers and the meaning of Life, the Universe and Everything? Actually, we could Google that. But why even hypothesize? Google has the answers we want today and knows the questions we want to ask even before we ask them:

Pocho Ocho best ways to market to ‘Hispanics’

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They’re confused, the poor marketeers. They try so hard to sell fish esticks and bleach and PETA to “Hispanics,” but they are low and slow on the learning curve.

Nearly Half of Second-Gen Hispanics Feel Like Ads Don’t Target Them, laments the tradezine Adweek.

You mean pochos with limited/zero Spanish aren’t picking up trendy brand tips watching telenovelas on Spanish-language TV? And nobody reading this story really cares all that much about Juanes’ aftershave? What’s an earnest marketeer to do?

Los Pochodores are here to help with the Pocho Ocho best ways to reach out to that elusive “Hispanic” market:

Mas…Pocho Ocho best ways to market to ‘Hispanics’

Venezuela shit production hits record, outpaces toilet paper supply

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toiletpaperThe Venezuelan Bolivarian Revolution, now firmly guided by the strong and steady hand of Commandante El Presidente Nicolas Maduro, has achieved new records in the production of shit, or mierda as it is known locally.

But pride in the record April crop of fecal material was tempered by a Western capitalist conspiracy which has left the country short of papel higiénico.

Britain’s Metro News reports:

Mas…Venezuela shit production hits record, outpaces toilet paper supply

Talk radio guy blows the lid off ‘Mexican swimming lessons’ (video)

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If you’ve been wondering why the internationally-lauded public school system in Mexico makes sure all the kids get swimming lessons, talk show guy AND education expert Rick Rantz of 1270AM WQTT in Union County, OH, has the answer. Advertising Sales Manager Mike Schnell is at 614.935.1038 if you have more questions.The radio station’s Programming Department is at 614.425.9633, or you can email grivers@icsohio.com.

Breaking: Miami woman reveals plans to quit Facebook

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(PNS reporting from MIAMI) South Beach resident Christina Patricia Santiago is planning to leave Facebook on Friday, according to a Status Update she published Sunday night.

Responding to a question from Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, who asked Santiago “What’s on your mind?” when she logged into her account, the 32-year-old media buyer for a boutique advertising firm told 442 Facebook “friends” she does “not have time for this bullshit.”

“Nikki: I don’t care who Selena Gomez is seeing,” she wrote.

Mas…Breaking: Miami woman reveals plans to quit Facebook

Disney Day of the Dead faux pas: Latinos turned noise into news (audio)

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From NPR: When Disney tried to trademark Dia de los Muertos for their new movie merchandise inspired by the Mexican holiday, Latinos picked up their own mice, went online and turned things back around.

For this week’s News or Noise, Latino USA guest host Luis Antonio Perez speaks with POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and Kety Esquivel, a digital media strategist, about how Latinos online retaliated against the entertainment giant.

Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Rep. Randolph Snopes (R-AL) plans committee hearings next week to investigate reports that “illegal immigrants” from Mexico are encoding secret messages in sneakers hanging over telephone wires — messages about how to avoid police, sell drugs and promote terrorism, PNS has learned.

Snopes, chairman of the Unamerican Activities Committee, maintains that evidence of  “sneaker-encoded propaganda” has been covered up by “high echelons of the Obama Administration,” according to leaked committee documents circulating on Capitol Hill.

Mas…Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’

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