It takes an ace newsman like Stephen Colbert to get to the bottom of the barrel of reasons why the Heritage Foundation’s report on immigration says legalization will cost us six trillion dollars and the entire Hispanic race has lower IQs than native white Americans.
Obama says ‘F★ck it’ in tricky bid for GOP immigration reform votes
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) President Barack Obama gave up his efforts to pass comprehensive immigration reform this week, informing Republican leaders that he didn’t care about reform anymore.
“Fuck it!” Obama reportedly told Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) in a conference call Tuesday.
“I don’t care about reform anymore, are you happy? Don’t pass it, see if I fuckin’ care!”
Washington insiders say that the president’s sudden change of heart on immigration has less to do with his actual desire to see reform pass and more to do with tactical consderations. Every time the president wants to pass legislation, Republicans balk — so if he doesn’t want to pass immigration reform, the thinking goes, conservatives will play along.
Mas…Obama says ‘F★ck it’ in tricky bid for GOP immigration reform votes
Breaking: Silicio Barrio startup demos 3D tortilla printer
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(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Previously-secret startup MasaTek.com today unveiled a hardware/software combo that uses 3D printing to print corn or flour tortillas with the religious or brand image of your choice.
“The waiting is over!” Carlos Molinero, president of the Silicio Barrio company, told reporters here. “You need Jesus? He’s just a click away. La Virgen is always on deck!”
The WiFi-enabled printer is the size of a small microwave and has a hopper on top for masa. It uses open source 3D software, Molinero said, and is easily addressable with standard CAD tools.
Mas…Breaking: Silicio Barrio startup demos 3D tortilla printer
Ghost woman walks Bogota street, disappears into thin air (video)
Victor Barona of Bogota, Colombia TV news NTN24.com reporting:
Closed circuit security cameras outside a townhouse complex record a woman walking the street late at night, a woman dressed in clothes from another century. She is plainly visible on camera and then she disappears into thin air. Ma ma ma my llorona.
Mas…Ghost woman walks Bogota street, disappears into thin air (video)
Chihuahua to owner: ‘Don’t bathe me, bro!’ (video)
Willie the Chihuahua does not like baths.
Breaking: San Diego firm offers Thailand plastic surgery tours
(PNS reporting from SAN DIEGO) Horton District travel agency Mad Mad World Tours is now offering a new cosmetic surgery/tour package featuring makeovers in beautiful Thailand, the company announced today.
The tours, organized in partnership with the Bod Thai Clinic of Bangkok, Thailand, promise an all-expenses-paid two-week luxury trip to the southeast Asian country and a procedure called a frental nopalectomy. The forehead surgery promotion targets upscale Mexican-Americans.
Mas…Breaking: San Diego firm offers Thailand plastic surgery tours
New ‘East Los High’ web series exposes sexrification of East L.A. (video)
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) A new web series on Hulu is poised to blow the lid off the unprecedented rise of sexy Latinos currently overrunning East Los Angeles. The series, East Los High, is a riveting expose of the rapid “sexrification” of the historically low-and-slow Chicano community.
“The kids at East Los High are hot, they’re ripped, and they can dance,” said Garfield High School alum Alberto “Sleepy” Gonzalez. “When I drop my kid off at school, it looks like he’s stepping into another country, like Puerto Rico.”
Mas…New ‘East Los High’ web series exposes sexrification of East L.A. (video)
Breaking: Ancient Mayan pyramid foreclosed on, demolished
(PNS reporting from BELIZE CITY) The Nohmul complex, an ancient Mayan pyramid in the north of this Central American country, was recently bulldozed by a local contractor who used the crushed rock to “fill” a road. Nohmul was utilized as a ceremonial center 2,300 years ago.
After public outcry from archaeologists, local authorities said they would investigate the demolition.
Belize real estate attorney Alejandro Bolsa de Duchez defended the destruction:
Mas…Breaking: Ancient Mayan pyramid foreclosed on, demolished
Pocha Playmate of the Year speaks Spanish AND American (video)
Playboy’s first Pocha Playmate of the Year, Raquel Pomplun, is bilingual. Hugh Hefner notes (after the one-minute mark) that the Chula Vista, CA native speaks both Spanish and “American.” (Totally nonironic video via Brussels, Belgium’s Jewish News One Network. Who knew?)
Mas…Pocha Playmate of the Year speaks Spanish AND American (video)
An Open Letter to the Denver Public Library Commission
An Open Letter to the Denver Public Library Commission:
I am writing in response to the so-called “ire” that was reported in the Denver Post regarding the new West Denver library being named after Rodolfo Corky Gonzales.
I am an author/publisher and a Denver native. I am also Chicano. My roots in Denver run deep and though I may live far from the Mile High City now, Denver will always be home.
How can one convey to you in such a limited space how iconic Gonzales is? The man is legend, not just in Colorado but nationally. Though the Chicano/a movement is not what it used to be in Denver, its roots are still there. There are those who would balk at this library – those who would like nothing more than to wipe Corky’s memory from the history books, just as they are trying to do with our books and history in Arizona, despite the fact that these things are as American as anything else. Ignorance speaks volumes.
En Español, MN lawmaker tells why she voted for gay marriage (video)
Minnesota made history Monday as it became the 12th state to OK same-sex marriage. State Senator Patricia Torres Ray addressed her Spanish-speaking constituents from the Senate floor to explain why she voted FOR the measure.
Mas…En Español, MN lawmaker tells why she voted for gay marriage (video)
Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook
(PNS reporting from SAN MARCOS, TX) Seventeen-year-old San Marcos High School senior Byron Chavez called someone’s mother a “wetback” in a comment on a Facebook photo yesterday — Mothers Day.
Chavez, the grandson of Mexican immigrants, used the W-word in response to a widely-circulated picture of a young woman at an immigration reform rally holding a sign reading “Fuck Weed. Legalize My Mom.”
Chavez posted “Fuck your wetback mom! Legalize Weed!” 30 minutes after his cousin Lauren Saucedo posted the image on her timeline .
“I was taken aback by his comment,” Saucedo emailed PNS. “Our grandparents were immigrants who came from Mexico looking for a better future.”
Mas…Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook
Los Master Plus, Mexican hipster music duo, loves pochos
If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like for a Mexican hipster to remake some of your favorite English-language songs in an alternative cumbia style while wearing hipster mustaches and silver sneakers, you need look no further than Los Master Plus.
I first heard of the Guadalajara duo with their remake of King of Leons’ song, Sex on Fire, Sexo en Fuego, a homemade and tongue-in-cheek music video that makes fun of both hip hop and rock music videos in one fell swoop, last year.
Last week I hung out with El Comanche and Larry Mon at The Conga Room in Downtown Los Angeles.
Mas…Los Master Plus, Mexican hipster music duo, loves pochos
Los Lobos do it Disney style: ‘Heigh Ho Heigh Ho’ (music video)
Los Lobos, Los Angeles’ best band ever, dipped some pixie dust for this Disney music video from 2009. The group is portrayed by the seven dwarves who add new Spanglish lyrics to Heigh ho heigh ho, it’s off to work we go. Snow White, as white as ever, is the center of attention, dancing to the Lobos beat. In the final exciting scene, a somewhat less-white Prince Charming appears and it looks like he got his hair done by Ritchie Valens. YMMV.
RELATED:
MiJA Weekly’s Elise Roedenbeck joins new TV network in Miami
Many have you have written in and asked about Elise Roedenbeck’s MiJA WEEKLY video series and why it disappeared.
We have good news and bad news. Bad news first: There will be no more MiJA WEEKLY.
The good news? Important people in the Network Television World were so taken with Elise and MiJA WEEKLY that they stole her away from us and moved her to Miami where she is joining the new ABC/Univision TV network FUSION.
Felicidades to our hermana Elise and “break a leg” as we say in eshow business.
True text message stories: When beans attack (photos)
You have something you want to buy or sell.
You post your cellphone number on Craigslist or you print a flyer with those little tear-off phone number strips.
What could possibly go wrong?
Haters gonna hate! You Only Live Once: ‘Do Or Die’ (music video)
POCHO ALERT: Some of THOSE PEOPLE are hatin’ on Mexicore!
From heavy metal music site MetalInjection.net:
Yes, There Is A Mexicore Band Called YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE #YOLO (And The Singer Auditioned For AMERICAN IDOL) Just when I was getting really excited that a shitstain the likes of Attack Attack! broke up, Los Angeles’ You Only Live Once had to shit over my parade. MetalSucks by way of StuffYouWillHate alerted me to this atrocity and they mix pop-punk melodies with growl vocals. WHYYY?! JUST PICK ONE! I realize this assertion makes me sound old, and not “with it” but sometimes I feel it’s best to leave certain styles separate. I mean listen to this:
Mas…Haters gonna hate! You Only Live Once: ‘Do Or Die’ (music video)
Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants
Do you have trouble growing a big bigote?
Are you follicle-challenged in the upper liply region?
Are you the lone bare-faced boy in a room of full of hirsute hombres?
Let’s talk turkey, carnal.
We mean Turkey with capital T that rhymes with “pee.” OK, maybe that’s a bad example. But Turkey, the sick man of Europe, may have the ‘stache you’ve been looking for.
The Wall Street Journal reports:
Mas…Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants
How many generations until Latinos become ‘Americans’?
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I consider myself Latina, close to my family’s Mexican culture; I’m bilingual and I’m happy with that identity. But, more often than not, it seems like everyone else is trying to corral me into some other identity, telling me that mine is not sufficient.
The neighborhood where I live (photos, above) is a perfect example.
It’s split in two: one part of it is gentrifying rapidly, and the other is filled with Mexican and many immigrant families. I where it’s more Mexican, which makes me — in all my professional hipster-ness — stand out sometimes, but people still speak to me in Spanish and often I just become part of the scenery. But then there are other times.
BBC Video: ‘Nuns’ with nasty coke habits busted in Colombia
Colombian police have arrested three women dressed as nuns who were trying to smuggle six kilos (13.1 pounds) of cocaine hidden under their habits. The trio was popped as they were passing through the Colombian Island of San Andres – a notorious drug-trafficking route. The fake nuns were searched after police saw them acting suspiciously.
Mas…BBC Video: ‘Nuns’ with nasty coke habits busted in Colombia
Call me ‘Mr. Balls’ — I’m Brazil’s testicular cancer mascot (photos)
“Really big testicles.” Where have we heard that lately? Oh, yes the songified stylings of Cleveland’s Charles Ramsey, describing his neighbor the alleged kidnapper. But have we SEEN really big testicles? No, we have not, until the Internet angels brought us these photos of Senhor Testiculo, who is the mascot of the AAPEC Brazilian cancer society.
We have some more photos below and then a link to the photo gallery at the society. There’s also a special link to a news story about a guy who just had surgery to deal with his 134-pound scrotum. No photos of that, though. That would be gross.
Mas…Call me ‘Mr. Balls’ — I’m Brazil’s testicular cancer mascot (photos)
Animated music videos, contrast and compare: Sine wave vs Coltrane
Oscillate is a new video by New York animator Daniel Sierra. Sierra says the project was an attempt “to visualize waveform patterns that evolve from the fundamental sine wave to more complex patterns, creating a mesmerizing audio-visual experience in which sight and sound work in unison.”
Mas…Animated music videos, contrast and compare: Sine wave vs Coltrane
The Daily Show unmasks ‘The Real Cinco de Mayo’ (video)
Jessica Williams goes to Dallas, Tejas, so she can report on the real Cinco de Mayo for Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show.
Cleveland hero Charles Ramsey’s story: Dead Giveaway (music video)
The Cleveland man who helped the escaped kidnapping victims, Charles Ramsey, says his accused neighbor must have had really big testicles. “We ate ribs with that dude, but we didn’t have a clue!” he explains. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Songified newscast by schmoyoho.
Breaking: Crickett recalls kids’ rifles over safety concerns
(PNS reporting from PENNSYLVANIA) Crickett Firearms has recalled My First Rifle over safety concerns about the toxic paint used to coat the firearms.
“Our kids’ safety is utmost, so we are pulling some of our children’s weapons, especially the brightly-colored Hello Kitty model,” says Crickett spokesperson Wes Smithson.
Mas…Breaking: Crickett recalls kids’ rifles over safety concerns
‘Brown Republican’ Mr. Criminal reveals campaign platform (video)
Brown Republican Mr. Criminal has some serious political ambitions. Painting the White House brown is just the beginning. (NSFW lyrics.)
Walt Disney, Inc. wants to trademark ‘Dia de los Muertos’ (toon)
The Walt Disney Company filed several trademark applications last week with the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO.GOV) to secure the name “Dia de Los Muertos” as a service mark.
Mas…Walt Disney, Inc. wants to trademark ‘Dia de los Muertos’ (toon)
PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character
(PNS reporting from LONDON) Downton Abbey executive producer Gareth Neame said today that newcomer Gary Coleman’s addition to the British show “will bring interesting twists to the drama.” The cute-as-a-button actor has most recently been seen in various American sitcoms and reality programs.
His Downton character, Arnold Jackson, is described as “a charming and charismatic” young man. The long-awaited addition marks the first time Downton has had an adorable black character.
Mas…PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character
Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America’s observance of Cinco de Mayo on Sunday was the “most dangerous ever” according to a report released here today by the National Institute of Holidays (NIH.)
A record 1378 emergency room visits by gringos failing the “chile challenge” were reported by the group as well as 287 “chancla accidents.”
Mas…Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’
When Xenia Rubinos gets going, she’s a ‘Whirlwind’ (music video)
She’s a Puerto Rican-Cuban singing pocha from Connecticut and no one makes music with the intensity she does. Here’s the latest from the astounding Xenia Rubinos — Whirlwind.