Mississippi: Rename Gulf of Mexico to ‘Gulf of America’

Mississippi state representative Stephen Holland

A Mississippi state lawmaker introduced legislation Tuesday that would rename the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America.”

According to state Rep. Stephen Holland’s bill, the name would apply only to his home state, much to the relief of embarrassed neighboring states.

Ironically, Holland chose to rename this international body of water “Gulf of America,” not understanding that “America” is the name of the whole American hemisphere, mainly because the word “hemisphere” is twice as long as most words the average Mississippian legslator understands.

Mas…Mississippi: Rename Gulf of Mexico to ‘Gulf of America’

Franklin says ‘swarthy’ immigrants hurt our rep on Mars

(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Local publisher Benjamin “Sparky” Franklin (Poor Richard’s Almanac) is shocked by all the non-English-speaking dark-skinned foreigners in the City of Brotherly Love and worries about how our planet appears to residents of Venus and Mars.

The “swarthy” German newcomers are too stupid to learn English, the Society Hill resident charged in a recent newsletter:

Mas…Franklin says ‘swarthy’ immigrants hurt our rep on Mars

Moonbase issue casts shadow on final GOP debate

(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) The moon was high on the debate agenda last night as Gov. Mitt Romney and former Rep. Newt Gingrich crossed lightsabers with both candidates fighting hard to capture the crucial lunar vote.

The encounter, held at Farpoint Station Laser Tag in Orlando, was the 79th GOP debate and the last before Tuesday’s primary election.

Gingrich, his arms unfurled, set the tone by calling for the establishment of a permanent base on the moon by the year 2020. Gingrich has also set this date as a deadline for establishing a new marriage with a heretofore unexplored Mrs. Gingrich #4.

Warning that the Chinese would dominate outer space if the U.S.A. does not step up in the moonbase race, Gingrich said “Frankly, the Chinese can probably set up the first Panda Express on the moon in 30 minutes or less.”

Mas…Moonbase issue casts shadow on final GOP debate

Sabado Pochonte: DTLA, Olvera St., 1937 (Vericolor, Cliché-o-Vision)


A Street of Memory (1937): You’ll meet “soft-speaking olive-skinned guides, languid in business” the narrator intones as he guides tourists in a walk through Los Angeles’ quasi-historic Olvera Street.
Brain-exploding old school stereotypes spice up this documentary by William M. Pizor – a “Vericolor production offering touristic views of  Olvera Street and the old Mexican quarter in Los Angeles, California” according to the Internet Archive.

Do you see anyone you know? Recognize any landmarks?

Meet ‘Pocho’ the novel, its author, and their times

The interview is three decades old but still amazing. Listen to the man that started “pochismo!”

As the University of Texas presents the Mexican American Experience writes:

Jose Antonio Villarreal discusses his 1959 novel, Pocho, and the ways in which his own life and politics influenced his writing. Villarreal first discusses his experiences growing up in the pre-World War II era in California. He traces some of the similarities between his own life and that of his character, Richard Rubio, but he stresses that his novel is not a biography. Villarreal says he wrote Pocho because he wanted to introduce the rest of the U.S. to a group of Americans they knew nothing about.

Click to listen

AZ’s hater history: Public Enemy ‘By the Time I Get to Arizona’

America pauses for Ricky Martin Luther King Jr. Day

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) America pauses tomorrow to remember the life and message of Ricky Martin Luther King Jr., whose “Tengo a Dream y Dance!” speech changed the nation forever.

Post offices and other public facilities will be closed, banks and stock exchanges take the day off and salsa picante and sweet potato pie – his favorite snack combo – are on sale all across America. Today would have been RMLK’s 34th birthday.

Despite his tragic death in 2007 (he was shot and killed by the president of his fan club before an appearance in Dallas) King’s promotion of “love, equality, justice, innocence, malice, refuge, oppression, freedom” has continued to resonate among confused Latinos and Anglos alike.

Mas…America pauses for Ricky Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Am I a racist because I want to date Latino guys?

During my seemingly eternal quest for love, I’ve been accused  more than once of being “racist” for mostly dating Latinos.

Part of this is totally my fault and the result of my whining and chiflazón. There’s  a misunderstanding about what motivates me and other people like me, who are interested primarily in dating other Latinos.

First and foremost, let me say that I have dated mostly pochos like me, but I’ve also dated Cubans, white men, and Asian men, finally coming to the conclusion that all men on this planet are idiots when they are in their 20s. Some of my complaints, which other Latinas share,  include:  They want to get married too soon, or they’re divorced with kids young, they’re too short, as you become more educated there are less Latinos around you, they’re scared of educated/professional women. The list goes on.

Mas…Am I a racist because I want to date Latino guys?

Secret New Hampshire: They lie about origins, talk funny and hate God

(PNS reporting from NEW ENGLAND) New Hampshire is the small Yanqui state where Republicans vote today in a primary election. When tonight’s results come in, remember where they’re coming from – a jurisdiction where people live a lie, talk in a dialect devoid in rhoticity and don’t go to church like other Americans!

These are the secrets of the Granite State:

Traditional GOP caucus ritual marks Iowanian New Year

Don D. S. Waldo, 24, is a medical student: "Mitt Romney seems to have cornered the Just for Men contingent, but the Tres Flores activists are still up for grabs."

(PNS reporting from THE HEARTLAND, USA) Thousands of Iowanians are fighting their way across the wind-blown plains today to perform the traditional Republican caucus ritual.  Sioux City City College PoliSci Professor Rico Alvarado explains the Ceremony of the Caucus this way:

First, the gabachos make a 4WD posada to the high school gym for the ritual gathering. There, by standing and waving, they compete for a majority of the donuts and coffee. The Caucus Ceremony must end before the Big Tornado Siren heralds the start of the Iowanian New Year.  

We photographed six citizens and asked them to evaluate the political process and the contenders. Here they are and here’s what they said:

Mas…Traditional GOP caucus ritual marks Iowanian New Year

Hoy in History 1/1 and welcome to 2012, the Mayan last year


The Zapatista Rebellion was born this day in 1994 – Que Viva EZLN!

The Zapatistas… issued a declaration which amounted to a declaration of war on the Mexican government, which they considered so out of touch with the will of the people as to make it completely illegitimate.

Welcome to 2012, the last year, according to the Mayan Calendar, which predicts the end of the world on Dec. 21. No worries – we have what you need:

  • A countdown clock on the right so you can sync your watch for the big day
  • This New Age technomuzak didactic rap video by Gurudevi which links the Mayan wisdom to a properly calibrated understanding of the 13-month-cycles of noospheric spacetime (WARNING DON’T WATCH THIS VIDEO IF YOU ARE DRIVING):

Mas…Hoy in History 1/1 and welcome to 2012, the Mayan last year