Pocho Ocho reasons why Latinos are Hollywood’s best customers

notorillasU.S. Latinos went to the movies in 2013 way more often than other ethnic groups, according to the Motion Picture Association of America. Latinos are 17% of the population but account for 32% of moviegoers who went to more than one movie a month.

Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons why Latinos are Hollywood’s best customers:

8. Air conditioning

7. You can sneak in your own meal

6. Fewer crying kids than at a birthday party

Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons why Latinos are Hollywood’s best customers

Forget Los Oscars: Mira Los Hectors©! POCHO’s Annual Awards

Behold, The Hectors©, bestowed for Excellence in Mockability.

The Hectors© are named for POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’ cousin Hector (photo), who is excellent at ruining family gatherings, especially when he has downed his third 12-pack. He hasn’t seen a film since Blood In, Blood Out.

And the Hector© goes to:

Mas…Forget Los Oscars: Mira Los Hectors©! POCHO’s Annual Awards

Mexclusive: Hollywood has called my bluff with ‘Bordertown’ at Fox!

bordetowntoonborderstereotypestweetFox has just announced the pickup of a new animated TV show called Bordertown, debuting in 2014. It was created by the showrunner of Family Guy, Mark Hentemann.

I was offered a gig writing and consulting on the show, and I happily accepted.

This will be the first animated prime time network TV show with a significant number of Latino characters.

Over half the cast will Mexican or Mexican-Americans or Chicanos. It will be historic.

Mas…Mexclusive: Hollywood has called my bluff with ‘Bordertown’ at Fox!

JLo wins Espiritu Award for playing Mexicans

Jennifer Lopez(PNS reporting from BEVERLY HILLS) Actress Jennifer Lopez was honored at the Espiritu Awards last night, netting the coveted Best Non-Mexican Actress Who Plays A Mexican In Every Role Award.

“I’m just so grateful to all of you who see in me what every casting agent in Hollywood sees: a Mexican. Which is actually better than being a real Mexican, because then I can actually get work,” she told a gleeful crowd as she accepted her award.

“If it weren’t for Mexicans, I would not have the career I do today, thank you, thank you!”

Mas…JLo wins Espiritu Award for playing Mexicans

Roberta Valderrama stars in ‘The Callback’ (NSFW video)


PREGUNTA: Why would POCHO run a 15-minute (!) video on a Wednesday without any jokes about chanclas or twerking or nalgas?

RESPUESTA: When it stars POCHO amiga Roberta Valderrama. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll jump and shout when you check out The Callback. Roberta plays an actor who maybe is a little too intent on getting that big Hollywood break with a small part in a TV cop show. (NSFW adult language and situations, but no nudity or nalgas.)

PREVIOUSLY ON ROBERTA VALDERRAMA:

Mas…Roberta Valderrama stars in ‘The Callback’ (NSFW video)

Breaking: Japanese actor Bad Badtz-Maru cast as Chicano

angrybirdog(PNS reporting from TOKYO) Japanese character actor Bad Badtz-Maru will star as a gang-banging, tagging Chicano in a new animated feature called Angry Bird O.G., PNS confirmed on Sunday.

This could be a comeback role for 20-year-old Badtz-Maru (バッドばつ丸). The spiky-haired method actor has found little work since playing the mascot at the 2006 FIBA World Championship of Basketball here.

Mas…Breaking: Japanese actor Bad Badtz-Maru cast as Chicano

Everything you wanted to know about ‘Colors’ but were afraid to ask

If you grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, you remember the film Colors. It spawned a lot of headlines about violence at movie theaters and the spread of Los Angeles-style gang wars. The Guardian Angels even protested the flick and left a toilet bowl outside of Sean Penn’s home as an “award.” They also strapped makeshift coffins to the roofs of their cars.

The film had this weird mystique. Colors introduced suburban kids (and their parents) to a whole new world – one they would spend the next decade imitating. Long gone were the fierce but safe dance-offs in Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo – in Colors, Turbo and Ozone would have simply blown the heads off of Electro-Rock’s crew with a 12-gauge shotgun.

Mas…Everything you wanted to know about ‘Colors’ but were afraid to ask

Unfunny ‘Latino’ sitcom debuts Sunday, people will watch anyhow

johngomez(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Newcomer John Gomez stars as The John Gomez Show premieres Sunday night, the latest sitcom starring a Latino that is destined to join the long line of Latino TV shows that suck.

John and his sweet, sexy wife Lisa are a happily-married couple with two children. Daughter Rosie is just turning the corner to teenager, and son Sam is a precocious — oh, forget about the plot line, it promises to simply suck big time.

“It’s a formula for failure,” declared Hispanic TV audiences everywhere.

“I will watch it no matter how bad it is. Juan Gomez is one of our own, even though he is the unfunniest Latino on the planet,” said Latina inactivist Vera Tellez.

Mas…Unfunny ‘Latino’ sitcom debuts Sunday, people will watch anyhow

Latinos in Hollywood? First of all, who are these so-called ‘Latinos?’

lindanievespowellI disagree with Dennis Leoni.

In the POCHO article, he says this: “One more time, what do we need to do? BUILD OUR OWN MARKETPLACE!”

Here’s my take: It won’t work. It simply will not work. Why? Because the so-called “Latino” experience cannot be compared to the African-American experience in the United States. The “Latino” experience is different for each of us.

Latinos are culturally diverse. Yawn. Haven’t we heard this a million times already? Yet, it probably hasn’t really sunk in. A Mexican-American story will be different from a Puerto-Rican story, a Dominican story, a Colombian story, etc. It will also be different from a Mexican immigrant story, a Nuyorican story, an Ecuadorian/Irish story. Assimilation changes who we are. Migration changes who we are.

Mas…Latinos in Hollywood? First of all, who are these so-called ‘Latinos?’

Breaking: ‘Devious Maids’ producer preps ‘Desperate Tontos’

bigtonto(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Television producer Marc Cherry is developing a new series called Desperate Tontos, which is about four white actors donning even whiter makeup to play Native Americans. The series is seen as a comeback attempt following Cherry’s floundering Devious Maids series, which was a disastrous attempt to portray Latinas.

Cherry admits Maids took him a little out of his comfort zone as a writer. “I’m a white guy, and I should write what I know,” said Cherry. “And what I know is how to be a white man pimping other people’s cultures.”

Mas…Breaking: ‘Devious Maids’ producer preps ‘Desperate Tontos’

Attention: It’s time to get real about Latino movie projects

attentionhollywoodOkay, time for a reality check.

Despicable Me 2 made $59.5 million in its first two days of release. Do any of you seriously believe that Universal gives a flying fuck if Latinos are upset over the negative stereotyping of a Latino character ?

As my good friend Bob Eisele likes to say, “Here’s the situation…” THEY DON’T CARE. Please allow me to repeat that… THEY DON’T CARE.

We Latinos can yell, scream, jump up and down, stand on our heads, do somersaults and they still won’t care. The movie is on track to make hundreds of millions of dollars for Universal.

Year before last, Ron Meyer, the head of Universal Studios, spoke at a NALIP luncheon and told us to our faces that Universal doesn’t make Latino-themed or Latino-starred movies because Latinos don’t go to see them. And you know what? He’s right. Latinos are almost 40% of the all important opening day box office. Unfortunately, Latinos go to see Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Transformers, Star Trek, Star Wars, Iron Man, Batman, Spiderman, anything but Latino-themed movies. What’s the solution?

Mas…Attention: It’s time to get real about Latino movie projects

Flash: ‘Foxy Farmworkers’ set for Fall premiere on Fox

(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Hoping to capitalize on the Devious Maids buzz, Fox will jump on the stereotypical Latino programming bandwagon with a new entry this fall called Foxy Farmworkers.

The show will follow a quirky group of “young, single and ready-to-mingle” Mexican farmworkers as they make their way from the impoverished US-Mexico border to fields in Washington, Oregon, Montana, Michigan.

Between backbreaking 14-16 hour days in the sun and working in the fields, the young men manage to get themselves into a world of trouble chasing after petite, white women in the towns they pass through, breaking hearts along the way.

Mas…Flash: ‘Foxy Farmworkers’ set for Fall premiere on Fox

Animal Planet Latino launches controversial show ‘Devious Mermaids’

(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Animal Planet Latino will be premiering a new “documentary” series that has stirred the waters of controversy.

The new cable show, Devious Mermaids, will explore the lives of five captured Latina mermaids who live in a giant tank on display at a Florida aquatic park set in the fictional town of Orlando.

Critics of the show are disturbed by what they call misleading and unrealistic portrayal of Latinas.

They also are assailing creator Marc Cherry, charging that as a middle-aged landlubber, he is insensitive when it comes to interpreting the experience of Latina mermaids.

Mas…Animal Planet Latino launches controversial show ‘Devious Mermaids’