Is that a green card in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
ice
Son of immigrants takes the oath to become a ‘Pinche Migra’
(PNS reporting from EL PASO) The smell of grilled cebollas greeted visitors to a carne asada party in the back yard of the Lopez home in El Paso’s lower valley Saturday evening, as the family celebrated the graduation of the Lopez family’s prodigal son as a “Pinche Migra.”
José “Johnny” Marrufo completed the 58-day course at the United States Customs and Border Protection’s Border Patrol Academy located in Artesia, NM in July.
He graduated as a Border Patrol Agent and is now ready to detain his Mexican brethren.
“I feel happy that I will protect our border from terrorists and criminal aliens, some of whom are my relatives” the former Riverside High School third baseman told PNS.
Mas…Son of immigrants takes the oath to become a ‘Pinche Migra’
Uncle Sam on lookout for oldsters trying to pass as DREAMers
 |
 |
 |
 |
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Older undocumented immigrants have been trying to pass as youngsters so they can qualify for the Obama Administration’s new Deferred Action program, PNS has learned.
On Thursday, several elderly immigrants were hustled out in the Denver, CO immigration office trying to fake the required cutoff age of 30.
ICE reported that they found one viejito, known only as “Chavo,” hiding inside a barrel and dressed in in a striped shirt, red suspenders, brown khaki shorts and a propeller hat. ICE told PNS that the man was malnourished and kept asking for ham sandwiches.
Mas…Uncle Sam on lookout for oldsters trying to pass as DREAMers
Contractor and Latino day laborer become BFFs in ‘The Tool’ (video)
A seemingly-friendly contractor hires a migrant laborer for a house painting job but their relationship soon gets complicated. Will their man crush outlast the law?
On the border, in the desert, nobody expects the ‘Zombie Migra’ (video)
They journeyed hundreds of miles to make a new life in a new land. They crossed borders, forded rivers and walked in the burning heat. But nobody expected the Zombie Migra!
ICE unveils first-ever resort-style hotel for immigrant detainees
(PNS reporting from DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEJAS) U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is opening what they call the first-ever “resort-style hotel” for immigrant detainees.
Critics are calling the new Karnes County (TX) Civil Detention Center a “prison for profit” but ICE is marketing it as a migrant “destination” with “vast amenities” that will keep immigrant detainees coming back for more.
Mas…ICE unveils first-ever resort-style hotel for immigrant detainees
Operation Wet Parachute: U.S. to drop Mexican deportees from planes
(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) In an effort to “adapt to current budget realities,” the Federales of Los United Estates will begin flying deported immigrants back to Mexico and dropping them from airplanes over their home states.
This plan, dubbed Operation Wet Parachute, is the brainchild of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano who said yesterday she got the idea while making margaritas and watching the film Point Break.
Mas…Operation Wet Parachute: U.S. to drop Mexican deportees from planes
Badges? Badges? Steenkin’ badges you don’t need IRL!
“We don’t need no steenkin’ badges,” actor Alfonso Bedoya told Humphrey Bogart in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Well, sorta. Although his line is one of the most-often quoted and parodied lines of cinema dialog, almost everyone has it wrong.
Click to peep some badges you definitely don’t need to see In Real Life.
Dear undocumented immigrants: You suck at freeloading
I hate undocumented immigrants. I spent most of the holidays on my roof, throwing used cell phones and rusty nine-volt batteries at my undocumented family members as they arrived for festive gatherings. (Tía Lupe should be out of the hospital any day now, and you better believe that ICE will be waiting to cart her away from her children.)
My hatred for the undocumented is normally on a controlled boil. However, after viewing the Racist White Ladies video, my hatred steamed up.
These classy and thoughtful young ladies made me realize that there is much more to hate about undocumented immigrants, especially the fact that they’re always walking around carrying burritos lecherously. Zing! You really nailed them on that one ladies.
How stupid are undocumented immigrants? Well, they can’t even freeload properly!
Obama immigration officials run out of immigrants to deport, switch to deporting American citizens
In a curious move, the Barack Obama White House is campaigning tirelessly for the Latino re-election vote while also deporting a record number of undocumented immigrants.
In a mad dash to burnish their law-and-order credentials, Obama officials have deported over a million undocumented immigrants during the past 2 1/2 years and are on track to out-deport the two-term Bush administration’s 1.57 million. In fact, they have deported so many undocumented immigrants they may have depleted the supply.
They have turned to an American resource to fill the void: deporting U.S. citizens. The instances are numerous, and growing: