latino

GOP to spend $10 million further alienating minorities

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Reeling from back-to-back presidential losses and struggling to cope with the country’s changing racial and ethnic makeup, the Republican National Committee plans to spend $10 million this year to send hundreds of party workers in white sheets into Hispanic communities to promote its brand.

With Operation Wetback 2016, the committee hopes putting a fresh face on the same old racism will help them net more Hispanic voters.

“Hispanics are so lazy and slow-witted that they won’t be able to do the deep investigation required to see that our effort is a complete and utter sham,” GOP committee head Reince Priebus declared on Meet the Press. “We won’t change any of our hateful and xenophobic policies, but we will definitely alter our marketing pitches to this unambitious, burrito-brained demographic.”

Mas…GOP to spend $10 million further alienating minorities

PNS*Hot*Flash: Pope ‘Don’ Francisco I swaps Latino for Latin

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BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from THE VATICAN) With the selection of Argentine Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio as Pope “Call Me Don” Francisco I, winds of change are blowing from the Western and Southern Hemispheres to refresh the stale air of Rome.

The first big change, PNS has learned, is the gradual replacement of Latin in church communications and prayers with the more widely-spoken and understood Latino language.

Other expected changes:

¿Se habla zombie? ¡Chale! More of the same on ‘The Walking Dead’

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So, since the last time I wrote about the lack of racial diversity on The Walking Dead a lot of shit happened.

For starters, I got a shout out in La Cucaracha from POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz.

There was a lot of buzz online about my story and I received a few encouraging tweets from actors and editors on the show. I patted myself on the back and thought “Maybe I can get a spot on AMC’s show about the show, The Talking Dead.”

Wrong.

The most surprising thing to happen after I wrote that story was that the executive producer of the show, Glen Mazzara, left the show! Or he was fired. Believe whatever version you want but he’s no longer producing the show and that made me feel…odd.

Mas…¿Se habla zombie? ¡Chale! More of the same on ‘The Walking Dead’

Al Madrigal, Jon Stewart: Big trouble in GOP His Panic Room (video)

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Will a Republican shift on immigration help them with Hispanic voters? The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal is in Jon Stewart’s His Panic Room as they explore the GOP’s Nuevo Deal. Jessica Williams sneaks in to assist. DISCLOSURE: Madrigal is also POCHO’s Migrant Editor.

It’s aliens and the kids from Lugar High vs Evil Don Nabisco (video)

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The crew at Lugar High (in Lugar Heights) gets a visit from space aliens who, like all space aliens, want to empower Latinos. The Lugar kids’ mission, should they decide to accept it: Confront the evil Don Nabisco, host of a wildly-popular TV show. Look for special guest star cameos by Che Guevara and Sammy Sosa.

When ‘The Hobbit’ took back Aztlán: A Latino nerd reads Tolkien

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Today the names Smaug and Thorin Oakenshield will enter American pop culture. Dwarves rambling on a reconquista while Gollum plays riddles will reach a new audience because Peter Jackson filmed the nerd classic, The Hobbit — prequel to Lord of the Rings.

Film has more impact than the written word in today’s society and this version will reach a greater number of people than J.R.R. Tolkien’s book ever will. I am overjoyed that this classic will reach a greater number of gente, but I am filled with sadness that a child’s first encounter with The Hobbit will be in a loud theater instead of a quiet library.

Regardless, I look forward seeing my mental images from the book acted out in the big screen. And remembering the hours reading the book, which played a monumental role in my becoming Eres Nerd.

Mas…When ‘The Hobbit’ took back Aztlán: A Latino nerd reads Tolkien

She replaced Feliz Navidad with ‘Feliz Hanukkah’ (audio)

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When Austin resident Trina Hernandez (photo) found out her family had Jewish roots, it allowed her to ditch the commercial aspects of Christmas she had long disliked and connect to a tradition she found more meaningful for her and her son. From NPR’s Latino USA with Maria Hinojosa.

RELATED:

So let it be written: Now I am become ‘Hispanic’

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In The Beginning: For 37 years I lived my life without realizing I was Hispanic.

A few days ago, while waiting for the bus, I overheard a conversation that changed my life. A gentleman was speaking Japanese with several ladies, and when they reverted to English, the ladies asked him, “Well if you’re not from Japan, what nationality are you?” He replied that he was from Brazil. This did not surprise me, as there are over 1.5 million Brazilians of Japanese descent.

His response did make me wonder, however, about how Americans define “Hispanic,” whether this gentleman would consider himself Hispanic, and whether he met the U.S. government’s definition(s) of Hispanic.

Mas…So let it be written: Now I am become ‘Hispanic’

To: sw6n-34kd31fa8@dcjobs.craigslist.org  Re: GOP Latino Wrangler

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Dear Party of Lincoln:
I am very interested in the Latino Wrangler opening at the Republican National Committee you advertised on CraigsList.

My wife is half Mexican, my son is one-quarter Mexican and I have been to Mexico four times for cheap lobster, not that anyone's ethnicity would be used as a qualification for this job. I'm white, of course.

Mas...To: sw6n-34kd31fa8@dcjobs.craigslist.org  Re: GOP Latino Wrangler

Pocho Ocho ways you gabacho guys might be Hispandering

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Since the election, all the cool guys want to be Latinos and maybe you do too, Mr. White, Non-Hispanic-American. We understand, but we want to make sure you don’t go overboard. Peep our pocho ocho ways you might be Hispandering:

8. Goodbye iPod, hello maracas
7. Your name is now spelled Bíll Coñnelly
6. You call the guys in your golf foursome “mi gente”
5. You lower your Prius
4. You change your name to Geraldo
3. Lifetime membership in Chest Hair Club for Men
2. Complain “it would be easier if I were Latino”

And the numero uno way you might be Hispandering is…

You only date women with unibrows.

Image courtesy costumes in ‘plus sizes’ here.

Contagious Latinophilia hits U.S.; Boehner, Hannity, Arpaio infected

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Public health officials are concerned about contagious Latinophilia that has spread with breathtaking speed across America since Bronco Bama’s reelection last week.

Former anti-Latino pundits and politicians who for years went out of their way to make life miserable for Latinos are now succumbing to what scientists believe may be a viral condition.

“Almost immediately after the election — which may have been decided by the massive Latino vote — reports began flooding our offices,” Robert McLean, Director of Public Health Outbreaks at the Centers for Disease Control in Washington, D.C. said this morning at a press conference.

“All across the nation an increasing number of white men have expressed a new need to reach out to Latinos,” he said.

Mas…Contagious Latinophilia hits U.S.; Boehner, Hannity, Arpaio infected

Mexican Mitt’s Last Espeech: I’m in it to guin it, by any beans necessary

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MY FINAL ESPEECH TO THE NATION BEFORE I RULE OVER IT

AJUA!

Viejas and Gentlemen, voters, suppressed voters, this is my final espeech to you before I win the election tomorrow for the Presidency of the United Estates. This is the most important Presidential election of your lifetime, if you were born this year.

I know, you are RELIEVED that this long national nightmare will be finally over. I, too, am sick of the ads, the constant campaigning, having to look at my running mate what’s-his-face, but especially I am sick of Bronco Bamma.

But enough about Black Reagan. Or the country. You all want to know how this affects ME, Mexican Mitt Romney. Campaigning is hard. It’s almost like a yob, which I have not held in a long time. Despite waking up in various strange hotels with Mormon wood every day, I still miss my 14 RANCHOS. (For the language-impaired, “rancho” is Spanish for “polygamous Mormon compound.”)

Mas…Mexican Mitt’s Last Espeech: I’m in it to guin it, by any beans necessary

End of Hispanic Heritage Month leaves many unsure how to go on

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(PNS reporting from BROOKLYN) Hispanic Heritage Month is over and without the corporate-approved celebration as a focus, members of the local Hispanic/Latino community aren’t really sure how they can go on being members of the local Hispanic/Latino community.

“Where do I go from here?” lamented Brooklyn native and prolific bloguera Marielena Gutierrez (photo).

“Should I tell people to call me Mary Ellen for the remaining 11 months of the year? It’s not like they ever pronounce it right anyway,” she wrote on her PobrePickle blog.

Mas…End of Hispanic Heritage Month leaves many unsure how to go on

Rosie Perez to Romney: Being a Latina is SO much easier! (video)

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Dear Governor Romney: You were so totally right about how much easier it would be if you were a Latino. Even luckier, a Latina with a vagina!

Did you like this video? We sure do! Pero k lastima, so many people came to see it this morning our servers crashed. We need more and better gear. Can you help POCHO make and serve up more ñews y satire with a contribution? Read our clever pitch and kick in $10 or $20 if you can. ¡Gracias!

 

 

Bain Capital’s Mal*Mart gives back to local communities (video)

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This short educational video from Mal★Mart (a Bain Capital subsidiary) explains how the retail chain is a good neighbor, supporting local communities and creating jobs all across America — with a smile. The case study features Latina entrepreneur Maria Muñoz of Maria’s Flan.

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