Hebrew homies Jaquann and Luis get munchies, make matzo balls (NSFW video)

On Passover (“Pesach” in Hebrew), los Judios eat “bitter herbs” to remember “the bitterness of slavery in Egypt.” In this video, Hebrew homeboys Jaquann and Luis start out with a sweeter herb and then have to satisfy their munchies with matzo balls. Passover starts Friday night a little after 4:20 — sundown, to be exact. (NSFW drugs and language. Yes, we re-run this video every year.)

Chipotle to sell cannabis in California, Colorado, Oregon

chipotlesoon(PNS reporting from DENVER) Chipotle Mexican Grill is planning to introduce cannabis-based comida in California, Colorado and Oregon later this year, PNS has learned. The decision follows recreational marijuana’s legalization in the Golden State, which now joins its two neighbors on America’s High Frontier.

The new vegan/vegetarian product — dubbed Mota Al Pastor — will replace the reviled Sofrita tofu-based mock meat mezcla that has insulted palates since the chain’s opening. Mota al Pastor will be served in burritos, in tacos, and as a topping for nachos.

Mas…Chipotle to sell cannabis in California, Colorado, Oregon

You know what’s cool? Benny & Jerry’s 4/20 BRR-ito (video)

American sure love Mexican food — as POCHO’s Associate Naranjero Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican Arellano noted in his best-selling book Taco USA. And Mexican-inspired dishes are everywhere, like deep-fried nachos on a stick in Milwaukee,, Arizona’s potentially dangerous churro dog and kosher carnitas y nopales burritos inside a donut here in Los Angeles.

Today, on Munchie Monday, Ben & Jerry’s go nationwide and win the Internet with their new ice cream BRR-ito inspired by Apple’s ground-breaking 1984 Macintosh commercial, with a little 4/20 mixed in.

Obama’s List: Pocho Ocho things more dangerous than alchohol

obamaweedFormer stoner Barack Obama doesn’t think marijuana “is more dangerous than alcohol,” according to The New Yorker:

“As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a bad habit and a vice, not very different from the cigarettes that I smoked as a young person up through a big chunk of my adult life. I don’t think it is more dangerous than alcohol,” the president said.

But if mota is not more dangerous than alcohol, what is? Here are the top eight contenders:

Mas…Obama’s List: Pocho Ocho things more dangerous than alchohol

Free medical marijuana tamales? ‘Take A Hit’! (NSFW video)

In Garden Grove, a nice city in Orange County, qualified patients of the ABC Marijuana Cooperative can get free mota tamales on Fridays, according to Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano. The traditional delicacies come in chicken, cheese and pork varieties, and the pineapple tamales pack the extra miracle ingredient of cannabis.

North of Rancho Pocho, up in Oxnard, Ventura County, the Earthquake Institute shines the spotlight on the forces opposing pot legalization and suggests alternatives in Take A Hit. (NSFW.)

Mas…Free medical marijuana tamales? ‘Take A Hit’! (NSFW video)

Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard

When Jan Brewja, governor of the Hate State of Arizona (photo,right), officially announced her absence from the jurisdiction, concerned Americans began a desperate search for LOST GOV, posting flyers on telephone polls and all over the Internets.

Her mysterious disappearance almost overshadowed the shocking revelation of Iowa’s Brian Peterson, who finally had to come to grips with the fact that he watches telenovelas for the boobs, not to learn Spanish like he originally told himself.

And in San Diego, a multimillionaire commissioned a billboard to get himself a new girlfriend for Christmas — a “Christmas Latina.” Our Especial Correspondents uncovered some earlier versions of the billboard, and an intrepid photographer snapped the final version of the message.

Here are the links to the top stories that broke the ñews:

Mas…Ñewsweek: LOST GOV Jan Brewja, boobs, San Diego billboard

Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election

(PNS reporting from OAKLAND) “Are you planning on voting Tuesday, brah?” Dale Mendoza scrunched his eyes shut behind his dark sunglasses as he concentrated on his phone call with a potential voter in Arkansas.

“This election is critical, OK, and we totally need your vote.” Mendoza (photo, left) was the team leader of two dozen phone bank volunteers in a basement office in this Northern California city, possible the country’s most pot-friendly municipality.

The smoke-filled room is a California outpost of Toke the Vote, a coalition of pro-marijuana political activists backed by the Zig-Zag cigarette papers company and ConAgra’s Screaming Yellow Zonkers snack products.

Mas…Toke the Vote urges big turnout for Tuesday Presidential election

Connecticut becomes 17th state to OK ‘Medical Menudo’

The beef-stomach soup is 'la cura' for hangovers

(PNS reporting from the NUTMEG STATE) Connecticut became the 17th state to approve Medical Menudo yesterday when the state’s Senate gave overwhelming approval to a bill passed earlier by the Assembly.

“This is a new dawn for all Connecticutitians,” Sen. Juan Gopher (D-Bridgeport) told supporters. “The days of twitching, throbbing and sobbing alcohol victims waiting on sketchy corners for their menudo are over.”

The legislation, which awaits the expected approval of Gov. Nancy Wyman, allows non-profit collectives to dispense Medical Menudo (MM) to patients with a mariachi’s recommendation.

Prospective MM patient Rocio Balboa appeared excited by the news. “Gaaaaaaaah! My head. Ooook. It’s so bright. And stop shouting!” she told PNS.

But the policy does not enjoy universal support.

Mas…Connecticut becomes 17th state to OK ‘Medical Menudo’

Dear Abuelita: Foreskin and seven years ago, I’ve got man boobs

Dear Abuelita,
I have still my cuero (foreskin) and I was wondering if I get circumcised will I feel better when I am inside a choncho or will I be wasting my ficha.
Signed, Extra Carne

Dear Extra Carne Carnal,
Some people dislike extra carnita on their flauta but a little foreskin can be fun during foreplay. I can’t tell you how many times I played peek-a-boo with uncut pee-pees. Now you see it – now you don’t. Now you see it – oh, the laughs we had.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Foreskin and seven years ago, I’ve got man boobs

4/20 Video: Lawrence Welk is ‘One Toke Over the Line’

In one of the most bizarre episodes ever run on the super square Lawrence Welk TV variety show, the ensemble presents their feel-good version of Brewer & Shipleys’ One Toke Over the Line.

I know, right? What were they thinking? Why is the under-conductor coughing like he sparked a harsh nug? Is the band giggling in the background? Did Welk think it was some kind of gospel tune?