It’s Not News to Us
(PNS reporting from PDX) Area collector Reynaldo “Ronnie” Morales’ heart was broken Sunday night when a last-minute auction bid from an eBay “sniper” pushed the coveted September 1953 issue of Amazing Future Tales out of his grasp and into the arms of another.
The sniper killed Morale’s chances with a $37.83 winning bid.
Mas…eBay ‘sniper’ outbids local man for ‘Chola Low Riders’ pulp magazine
An foreign invader threatens underwater life in the reefs of the Caribbean — a plague of lion fish. Video by Quique Rivera Rivera.
(PNS reporting from FRESNO) Latino farmworkers say Dodge’s American Farmer Super Bowl commercial is a bunch of manure, according to Claude Rhodappel, spokesman for the Minority Organization for Farmworkers and Obreros (MOFO).
The commercial, directed by filmmaker Ken Burns, used crisp documentary-style photography to celebrate America’s farmers while espousing the values of Dodge’s Ram Truck.
MOFO is objecting to the fact that almost all of the farmers depicted in the ad were white, with the exception of one African-American man, who was included as the “Magical Negro” featured in so many Hollywood productions.
Mas…Ken Burns Super Bowl commercial angers minority farmworkers
(PNS reporting from FLUSHING, N.Y.) This just in: Long Island dry cleaner Beau Riqua was an unhappy man this morning when he prevented nurses from administering an enema prescribed by his doctor. Riqua, who was visiting internist Dr. Lee Cuado with concerns about bloating, was upset that Cuado, a longtime friend, recommended this delicate procedure.
“That charlatan is just getting revenge because he lost $500 to me on a Super Bowl bet,” says Riqua, “so now he’s on my list. Go Ravens!”
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) This just in: Republican House Majority Leader Eric Cantor has introduced a bill to shorten February to 26 days. Cantor says February is getting too “uppity” and two of its days should be given to April, which he claims is being discriminated against as “the cruellest month,” because it features the observance of “Confederate History Month” and “Patriots Day.” The bill also aims to cancel leap years, just to be a dick.
Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: GOP aims to cut ‘uppity’ February to 26 days
Marvel Comics’ Captain American celebrates the African-Americans who helped make the U.S. what is today. This panel is from Truth: Red, White and Black, written by Robert Morales and drawn by Kyle Baker. Can you ID everyone in the “photos” on the wall? [Click on the image for a bigger version.]
These shorties are ready to fight — banda style!
Related:
Terry Morales is a hard-working dad and doesn’t spend as much time with his family as he should. Stay-at-home spouse Kerry Morales feels alone, under-appreciated and overwhelmed. And 12-year-old adopted son Tyrollo Morales is “acting out.” Time to call Rescue Nanny 911! (NSFW.)
Mas…This week on ‘Rescue Nanny 911’: The naughty adopted child (video)
Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón has a one-minute Spanish lesson for you pochos. She’s on Twitter as @SaraChicaD.
Defying the horizontally-correct nay-sayers of videoville, POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz took his iPhone where no phone has gone before — up close and pinche personal with a bowl of menudo at famed Mi Tierra Cafe in San Antonio, TX for a verboten vertical video. Is this the medical menudo we’ve been hearing about?
It’s more than just a minor irritation for the folks at work when the Internet’s Out. (NSFW language.)
I went to San Antonio, Tejas, got some posing tips from the Mexican Elvis and these photos, too. Note: I am the vato without the cape.
Mas…I went to San Antonio and met the Mexican Elvis (photos)
Before Al Madrigal got rich and famous as POCHO’s Migrant Editor (and Senior Latino Correspondent for The Daily Show) he spent time on the road as a stand-up comedian, always trying to become a better Mexican. Here he is in 2010, as seen in 3 Non Juans. (NSFW language.)
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) In a groundbreaking study just released by Atlanta’s Center for Brain Development Place, scientists have found that the more racist an individual is the less likely he or she is to comprehend satire.
In the controversial study, published in Totally Not Made Up Magazine last week, participants were asked to read an article titled “Monkey escapes from zoo, spreads poop and socialism” and then asked to comment.
Scientists found that those who believed the monkey should be taught to uphold democracy and abstain from sex before marriage but without the use of taxpayer money were 10 times more likely to be racists.
Is that a green card in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
At 7:35 AM all Marta wanted was her regular coffee and pastry at the local cafe. But this morning was different.
He lives in a piña under the sea — Bob Esponja — and this is his cancion.
The lyrics:
Mas…Who lives in a piña under the sea? ‘Bob Esponja!’ (video)
Felicidades to new mom Shakira! No more McDonald’s drive-thru window for you! (Video by Roberta Valderrama.)
MORE ROBERTA VALDERRAMA:
He’s what we might call a snake oil salesman. El Vendedor de Humo — the smoke seller — is a master of wish fulfillment and deception. Why did he really come to town? Abuela is skeptical at first, but then…
(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) HBO’s mega hit Girls is getting a spin-off — a Latina version called Chicas.
“We woke up and smelled the cafecito,” producer Elizabeth Ferris told a press conference here this morning, “and the pan dulce.”
“The success of Girls is indisputable and we want to be able to bring that success to the Latino community,” Ferris said. “I don’t know if any Latinos actually watch Girls, but everyone is into the ‘Latino thing’ these days, so why not Chicas?”
Everything you need to know about Mexico in 72 seconds, courtesy of filmmaker Chui Galvan of Morelia, D.F., MX. Cliché, you say?
Big Brother has detected a pistol — the Last Hand Gun on Earth — in a security bunker in Pasadena, and it’s up to daring Commander Adenoid and his spaceship crew to locate, remove and retrieve the deadly weapon before it’s too late. Will their strap-on Gucci jetpacks function in the alien San Gabriel Valley environment? Can they escape the missiles of the pursuing anti-aircraft Edsel? Will the rocket techs get overtime?
God gave us chi-chis and we’re thankful for that, but really, guys, how hard is it for you to look us in the eyes instead of staring at our breasts? Am I right, girls? Wait — there’s an app for that. Marion Cotillard introduces Tittaes. They’re from France!
RELATED:
In the beginning, the spacebrothers created the Heaven and the Planet Earth, and they saw that it was good. Later on, Man came along and screwed stuff up big time. Verily.
Back from the dead and live on tape, George Carlin is not afraid to share his feelings about Lance Armstrong. [Totally NSFW language.]
(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Bobby Mueller doesn’t want to be unkind, really. “My mother taught me that if you don’t have something nice to say, it’s better to say nothing at all,” he explains. “But the so-called Mexican food in Cabo San Lucas bites the big one.”
The University City marketing rep, who returned Sunday night from a week-long vacation on the southern tip of Mexico’s Baja California peninsula, was complaining to friends at a local brew-pub-salumeria.
“I spent an entire week looking for decent quinoa taquitos with pesto guacamole,” the self-described ‘foodie’ said, “and do you think I found them anywhere? No dice, dude. Zilch. Nada!”
Mas…Back from Baja vacay, local man laments Cabo’s lack of Mexican food
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Shot in Morelos, MX.
 |
 |
Was that a cartoon by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz hanging on Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s office wall in Sunday night’s 60 Minutes interview? Why yes it was!
Note from Lalo: The original cartoon, entitled L’il Judge Lopez, is signed by me and my daughter, who was the model/inspiration for the little girl in the toon.
Here’s the full-sized version of the cartoon and the 60 Minutes interview (cartoon @ 11:37):
Mas…POCHO’s Lalo Alcaraz toons up Sotomayor interview on ’60 Minutes’
She’s brown and beautiful; he’s white and smitten. And the only way he can express his feelings is to sing the Second Semester of Spanish Love Song.
He tried before, when he had only one semester of Spanish:
Mas…Another semester of Spanish and yet another ‘Love Song’ (video)
Chicago perfumer Zorayda Ortiz was so excited by her Dead of the Dead perfumes that she’s concocted a tamale fragrance as a followup:
It’s the scent of freshly steamed corn tamales, rich with red chile and plump with juicy pork.
The Pochodores discussed this at the weekly Eskype conference Tuesday and all agreed that there is only one thing they want to smell like pork, and it’s not their respective sweeties. But maybe there are worse ideas for perfumes! Here are the pocho ocho other scents:
Mas…Pocho Ocho worst new ‘Latino’ perfume scents after Eau de Tamales
What’s behind the blue door?
While visitors to the Casa Azul Museo Frida Kahlo in Mexico City think they’re viewing a definitive selection of items from Kahlo’s closet that have been hidden for 58 years, POCHO has learned that curators, sensitive to the artist’s legend, have held back some items from public display.
Here are the top eight items you won’t see:
8. Lifetime membership card, Hoop Earrings of the Month Club
7. Photoshop 0.1 beta test DVD
6. Leon Trotsky’s private cellphone number
Mas…Pocho Ocho secret items from Frida Kahlo’s closet *not* on display
