Maybe I’ll vote this year. Really, as long as I remember where the place is and I can get a space, and if, well, it depends what’s going on that day. After all, “we’re up to our ears in Mexicans!” (An epic musical production.)
H/T LAObserved.com.
Cultura
It’s Not News to Us
Cypress Hill, Rusko, Damian Marley: ‘Can’t Keep Me Down’ (video)
South Gate, CA homeboys Cypress Hill released Insane in the Brain (video, below) almost 20 years ago. It’s 2012, do you know where your brain is? Why here it is — up “amongst the clouds!”
This visually stunning new music video, Can’t Keep Me Down, is a Cypress Hill collaboration with dubstep producer Rusko and Damian Marley. You totally want to maximize your video player and crank your sound for this. (Possibly NSFW lyrics.)
Here’s your flashback:
Mas…Cypress Hill, Rusko, Damian Marley: ‘Can’t Keep Me Down’ (video)
Denver man’s shocking confession: ‘I prefer flour to corn tortillas’
(PNS reporting from DENVER) Felix Garcia is out of the closet. The Five Points resident called friends and family together yesterday to confess the secret he had kept hidden for so long:
I just didn’t want anyone to think I wasn’t Mexican enough. I mean, corn is OK and everything, but oh my God, a good flour tortilla is unlike anything else!
Long considered the more “authentic” tortilla, corn tortillas have been the favorites of Mexicans from Southern Mexico for centuries, as well as Chicanos interested in joining MEChA.
Advertising executive Garcia (photo) spent most of his life feigning a preference for corn over flour, hoping that no one would notice his secret stash hidden in the deli drawer of the fridge, under the cold cuts, cream cheese and lox.
Mas…Denver man’s shocking confession: ‘I prefer flour to corn tortillas’
End of Hispanic Heritage Month leaves many unsure how to go on
(PNS reporting from BROOKLYN) Hispanic Heritage Month is over and without the corporate-approved celebration as a focus, members of the local Hispanic/Latino community aren’t really sure how they can go on being members of the local Hispanic/Latino community.
“Where do I go from here?” lamented Brooklyn native and prolific bloguera Marielena Gutierrez (photo).
“Should I tell people to call me Mary Ellen for the remaining 11 months of the year? It’s not like they ever pronounce it right anyway,” she wrote on her PobrePickle blog.
Mas…End of Hispanic Heritage Month leaves many unsure how to go on
Sometimes the hardest choice is ‘The Second Choice’ (video)
In Los Angeles, an immigrant single mom tries to teach her son to do the right thing, but talk is cheap when the rent is due tomorrow and your only income is as an unlicensed street vendor. What would you do when it all came down to The Second Choice?
Short film by Alberto Belli. Spanglish with English subtitles.
Michael J. Fox is Martinez McFly in ‘Back to the Future’ blooper (video)
We don’t think “Hey, puto!” was in the script.
Season of the Witch: Pinche zombies walk all over Hollywood (photos)
Halloween and Dia de Los Muertos AND Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 are approaching, and, dontcha know, the pinche zombies are getting restless. Some zombified cholas showed up at the Zombie Walk on Hollywood Boulevard Sunday and POCHO amigo photographer Dan Cooke AKA The Steel Shark was there.
Here’s a mini gallery:
Mas…Season of the Witch: Pinche zombies walk all over Hollywood (photos)
End of an era: The 1964 Chevrolet Impala is extinct in the wild
(PNS reporting from NEW MEXICO) The United States Department of Transportation (USDOT) has offically declared the 1964 Chevrolet Impala “extinct on the streets of the nation” according to USDOT spokesperson Pablo Boone, who said yesterday the last remaining unmodified Impala was “poached earlier this month in Northern New Mexico.”
The 64 Chevy Impala SS Sports Coupe with a 327-cubic-inch 5.4 L engine with matching serial numbers that went missing was owned by Bob Gallegos of Costilla, NM who inherited it from his Abuelo Eulogio. Grandpa traded 15 sheep for the vehicle in 1965 (photo from 2009, above.)
An anonymous tip lead led to a USDOT raid on Maestas’s Custom Shop in Cibola County where the Impala was found with newly-installed hydraulics and a blue metal-flake paint job.
Mas…End of an era: The 1964 Chevrolet Impala is extinct in the wild
Things were simpler then: Convenience food ad from the 50s (video)
Things were simpler then, when you didn’t have to worry about stuff like cholesterol and vegetables and carbs and gluten — the good old 1950s when a foil-wrapped TV Dinner meant a party for your mouth — a mouth party in vivid black and white! It was the Age of Tang for Pete’s sake! How many of you are old enough to remember this Mom-approved easy-to-prepare specialty, oven-ready Suck’em Downs?
Pocho Ocho reasons Latinos don’t jump from balloons over New Mexico
8. After generations of risking having your heart cut out when you climb a pyramid, Latinos have inherited a genetic fear of heights.
7. Jumping high and fast? Latinos ride low and slow.
6. That’s Mexican jumping BEANS not Mexican jumping balloons.
Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Latinos don’t jump from balloons over New Mexico
Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Lunsford Richardson
FINAL INSTALLMENT: They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
Mrs. Mary Smith Richardson was not a happy camper, if they even had camps in Selma, AL in 1884. New husband Lundsford Richardson had an honors degree in Latin from Davidson College but didn’t make enough to raise a family. After all, how many Latin-speakers lived in Alabama in the 19th Century, not to mention Latinos?
When Mary got pregnant while Lunsford was teaching at the Little River Academy, they knew things had to change quick.
With a loan from from Mary’s brother, a physician, Lunsford started a small pharmacy in Selma.
Mas…Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Lunsford Richardson
Vote! Eternal vigilance of the price of liberty (toon)
Are you registered? Check with VotoLatino.org. This image is available as signed print at LaloAlcaraz.com
Pinche zombies attack another shopping mall, this one in Spain (video)
Zombies like shopping malls, although no one knows exactly why. In the award-winning short Zombies and Cigarettes the ghouls attack a mall in Spain and four people try to survive and escape. Will they find an exit? Will they find true love? Or, failing that, will they be able to get the blood off their clothes? (Warning: Gory violence. Spanish with English titles.)
Momfidential: Should I consider hiring a Latina nanny? (video)
When bringing a strange woman into your home to help raise your children, many things need to be considered. In this episode of Momfidential, mommy bloggers Byrdie and Linden discuss the pros and cons of Latina and Eastern European nannies.
Cri-Cri, El Grillito Cantor: ‘La Marcha De Las Letras’ (video)
Face it — you could use some remedial work on your Spanish vowels (las cinco vocales.) But when everyone’s favorite singing cricket is around, mijos, it’s easy! Cri-Cri is here with La Marcha De Las Letras. (Yes, we know about the flaca and the gorda and the letters I and O. This song is from history. The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there.)
Here are the lyrics:
Mas…Cri-Cri, El Grillito Cantor: ‘La Marcha De Las Letras’ (video)
Mayan Apocalyspe here? The Stones are all ‘Doom and Gloom’ (video)
It’s a brand new Rolling Stones song and it’s about zombies! No, it isn’t about Keef, even though it’s called Doom and Gloom. It’s about fracking, senseless wars, thieving politicos, heartless asshats, etc.
Mick Jagger saves the world of course:
[I] crash landed in the Louisiana swamp, shot up a horde of zombies but I come out on top
Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Klaus Müller
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
Klaus Müller started out in the back row of the accordian section on Lawrence Welk’s pioneering 1950 TV show, next to the bubble machine. Before long his big eyes, stormy baritone voice and fast fingers led to featured solo spots on the Saturday night live telecast.
When the Welk show wasn’t on the air, squeeze box virtuoso Müller toured Southern California dance halls, billing himself as the Naughty King of Western Swing. At a packed date in Burbank, his version of Tampa Red‘s Let’s Get Drunk and Truck caught the ear of CBS-TV producer Mel “Pinky” Diamond, who needed a co-star for a wacky red-headed starlet in new comedy.
Colombia space aliens sing, do special propeller beanie dance (video)
Monareta, a band made up of dancing aliens from outer space, has the best spinning propeller nerd beanies in all of Colombia. This is their video, Llama. That’s all we know for sure. If you have any additional information, please contact the appropriate authorities in your jurisdiction. And dance!
This is the angriest big bird you will see today (video)
It’s a loud chicken, and then it’s a really angry bird. (No frijoles were harmed in the making of this video.)
Totally scientific proof and I’m not kidding: Men make women crazy
(PNS reporting from SEATTLE) Women now have scientific proof of what they suspected all along: men make you crazy.
The groundbreaking study conducted here by the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center proves what women have suspected all along.
The technical explanation? Women who give birth to boys retain male DNA in their brains and therefore they go batshit crazy.
The study found that in 63% of women, male DNA from their fetus was able to cross the blood-brain barrier and continue to exist inside the mother’s brain, even into old age.
Mas…Totally scientific proof and I’m not kidding: Men make women crazy
Educated Bay Area Chicana wants to know ‘What about my needs?’
(PNS reporting from SAN FRANCISCO) A Chicana with a Juris Doctor degree and a Master’s in Public Policy from the University of California at Berkeley recently reflected on her career as the director of a non-profit serving underprivileged youth in the Mission District. Why, she wondered, was she was working so hard to give back.
“Have I ever really lived? I always thought I wanted to give back to the community — it’s given me so much, everything actually — but I’ve never even been to the wine country!” said Paloma Ortiz, a native of the Mission.
Ortiz (photo, above, at her office) noted that although she studied Chicano/a studies and law, her real passion was French literature. Now that she’s in the prime of her life, the prospect of helping her community was increasingly less appealing.
Mas…Educated Bay Area Chicana wants to know ‘What about my needs?’
Dead and more dead in the drug war and only ‘The Silence’ (video)
When the kids ask why all these people are dying in Mexico’s Drug War, what do you say? The unmistakable David Hidalgo of Los Lobos (with harmonies by Jackson Browne) sings of The Silence on this Los Cenzontles tune recorded by the veteran East Bay collective in L.A.’s Echo Park in February. Closing guitar solo by Eugene Rodriguez.
Won’t you join them? Arise Roots is ‘Moving Forward’ (music video)
Many POCHO amigos are involved in this video (production, direction, love, etc.) so we’re proud to debut the latest from homies Arise Roots; the band is Moving Forward. Won’t you come along?
Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Jed Bartlet
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
When a liberal Supreme Court justice retired in 1998, Pres. Jed Bartlet and his staff thought this was the perfect opportunity to increase approval ratings with a politically “safe” nominee, Judge Peyton Harrison.
The retiring justice, a liberal, was not impressed by Bartlet’s choice and urged him to consider another candidate. Bartlet asked his aide Toby Ziegler to review their decision. Ziegler, after walking and talking with other habitues of the West Wing, was uncomfortable with the prospect of losing the easy confirmation, but complied.
Zeigler learned that Harrison once argued against a guarantee of privacy, and told Bartlet a backup candidate should be vetted as a possible replacement nominee.
David Byrne/La Portuaria: Today I’m not afraid of dyin’ (music video)
David Byrne and Argentina’s La Portuaria team up to defy fear and death in Hoy lo le temo a la muerte.
NBC profiles Jefe Lalo Alcaraz for Hispanic Heritage Month (video)
It’s only fair, really. POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz gets props during Hispanic Heritage Month, or, as he likes to call it, Latino Heritage Month. Ana Garcia of KNBC Los Angeles reports.
Pocho Ocho other things Christopher Columbus got wrong
Aside from not sailing to “India,” Christopher Columbus got many other things wrong. Since Dia de La Raza/Columbus Day is Monday, we can’t forget the Pocho Ocho top boners he pulled:
8. He forgot the extra pair of chonies his abuela packed for him.
7. He named all of his ships after cholas, but forgot La Sad Girl.
6. He didn’t stop to ask for directions.
Forget Big Bird! Meet Señor Loro, the Latino parrot candidate (video)
From Los Titeres (the puppets): Don’t waste your vote on the phony mainstream yellow bird candidate until you consider wasting your vote on the Puppet Party’s Latino red parrot candidate — Señor Loro for Presidente! (Borderline NSFW language and a disturbing bird bigote.)
Video by Felix Pire. LosTiteresTV is on Facebook and on the Internets.
–Freelancer Junior Wences PhD writes by hand.
Don’t wait for immigration reform: PORT-A-BORDER is here! (video)
“Comprehensive immigration reform” is like the weather — everyone talks about it but no one does anything about it. That’s why real Americans are going wild over PORT-A-BORDER, the personal hi-tech illegal immigration solution that keeps those darn Mexicans out of your personal space. (Possibly NSFW language.)
Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: George Romney
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.
When Michigan Gov. George Romney‘s GOP presidential nomination campaign came to the New York World’s Fair in 1964 (photo, left, with son Mitt) an intense young wannabe TV reporter named Gerry Riviera was on the scene.
The nice Jewish boy from Brooklyn was confused after his college experience at the University of Arizona. He had been strangely at home in the desert Southwest, but was still a gefilte fish out of water. What to do with his life?
“I was born to American parents in Mexico,” Romney told reporters as he toured the crumbling, deeply-indebted Spanish Pavilion. “In some ways, it would be helpful to be Latino.” Son Mitt nodded his head in agreement.
Santeria? It’s what’s for dinner! ‘Otto and the Electric Eel’ (video)
In Otto and the Electric Eel, a modern adaptation of an Afro-Cuban Santeria myth, Miami bass legend Otto Von Schirach (playing the role of Chango, god of thunder) battles to keep an inter-dimensional creature (serpent god Damballah) from ruining his dinner date.