Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

Documentary: ‘Zoot Suit’ knows the way to Monterey (video)

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In 2008, Monterey County education officials (Central California) mounted a massive effort to stage three separate productions of Luis Valdez’ epic play, Zoot Suit, featuring combined casts and crews of kids from all their high schools. This documentary follows the teachers, Valdez, local volunteers and student actors from planning through auditions to show time.

The next time someone complains that arts education programs are a waste of money or that teachers are ripping off taxpayers, ask them to watch this video. They probably won’t watch, but if they do, and still don’t think Monterey County did a good thing, un-friend them on Facebook. With friends like that, you don’t need enemies!

If they agree, then let’s all bailar to Lalo Guerrero’s Los Chucos Suaves!

Mas…Documentary: ‘Zoot Suit’ knows the way to Monterey (video)

Rockin’ Los Angeles Oaxacan marching band style (video)

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Click, watch and share for 91 seconds of pure musical joy! If you can, listen real loud and/or with headphones for the amazing live sound recording and KILLER tuba playing! (That’s actually a Sousaphone, a modified tuba that wraps around the player’s body and is specially-designed for marching bands.) This Oaxacan marching band heralded the opening of FIOB — Frente Indigena de Organizaciones Binacionales (Indigenous Front of Bi-national Organizations) — in downtown Los Angeles on Tuesday. Sam Quiñones shot the video and has the story, via our friends at NewsTaco.com.

  • And what about that chica on the bus bench? What is she thinking?

Dear Abuelita: WiFi bath salts, leave it to Beaver, going down

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Hey Old Lady!
Oh they think they are so friggin clever but I know what they are up to listening to me through my wifi and microwave well i have nothing to hide so neener neener Mr. and Ms. Big Brother politically correct death panel.

YOU WAN TO TAKE MY GUNNAWAY WELL HELL NO WE WONT GO. Don’t tase me bro hahah. I fought the law and law Juan. law Juan get it? Rock and roll will always die it will always be yakkity yak don’t talk back take out the papers and the trash or you dont get no steenkin cash. You have advice for me OLD LADY?

Why you smell like mota and not mocha? hahahaha.
Signed, Dada Doodoo

Dear Dodo Bird,
Que idiota! Have the drogas worn off yet? I don’t have time for your paranoid rants and raves. There are perfectly good street corners for you to stand on for spewing this kind of nonsense. Why don’t you go find one and leave me alone. Make sure you get there early before the OG vatos from Victory Outreach beat you to it. Better yet, stand on a corner opposite them and use your Mr. Microphone. I know you have one.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: WiFi bath salts, leave it to Beaver, going down

New listing: 23rd Century Aztec pychedelic pyramid hilltop estate

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Mayans and Aztecs are the new black and now it’s only $1,949,000 for the Aztec/Mayan psychedelic pyramid estate of your dreams, right here in Pocho Estates (A Gated Community.)   Here’s the listing and a mini photo gallery:

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR EXCITEMENT? Want to be transported from the Aztec Pyramids of the 16th Century, into a 23rd century architectural wonder? A monumental sculpture moves from one end of the infinity pool to the other, like Aztec steps leading to an array of futuristic marvels. As you float in this pool, youre at the top of a Mayan empire, surrounded by mountains. Its just you & nature.The first floor is 6700 square feet of openness,with a kitchen floating in the middle, awash in rich wood cabinets, and a breakfast area with four huge windows,all facing those magnificent mountains. Acid washed concrete floors link each area, interspersed with slate-wrapped pillars. Both the living area and master bedroom boast a 4-sided fireplace, wrapped in Italian tiles.

Mas…New listing: 23rd Century Aztec pychedelic pyramid hilltop estate

Confessions of a Yuppie Chicana: I talk with my hands and I love flan

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I recently read the hilariously snarky book, Confessions of a Scary Mommy by Jill Smokler, and all those confessions from real moms has inspired me to do the same.

I confess:

  • I only get “Latina” when I’m drunk or angry and it’s not pretty.
  • My drink of choice is tequila, not the Skinny Girl stuff but real Patron Silver.
  • Sometimes I Google anger management groups in my area but then I get so pissed off with our slow Internet connection that I forget all about my anger.
  • When I catch a cold I literally sweat it out by dancing to Ricky Martin in my living room.
  • I don’t know if I want any more kids. I can’t afford to go up another bra size.

    Mas…Confessions of a Yuppie Chicana: I talk with my hands and I love flan

Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-a-Dee-Guns; Hola Anaheim, We’re Havin’ Fun

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Now in the shadows of the world’s most famous amusement park residents of Anaheim are bravely (and in some cases stupidly) confronting the Anaheim Police Department, an at times callous, authoritative government power that isn’t accustomed to being questioned even when it executes people. Crisis always spurs creativity and the most original ideas are presently forming outside of the gates of Disneyland.


Art by Lalo Alcaraz, photo by Johnny Nguyen.

Eye of the beholder: A day in the life of an Eames chair (video)

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DIEZ tells the story of a molded plywood Eames chair and its journey over the course of a few days in San Francisco, a journey that starts when the chair is momentarily left in front of an upscale gallery, and an older Mexican woman takes the chair, mistaking the modern design icon for trash. This random event sets in motion the chair’s journey and surprising transformation.

DIEZ deconstructs; literally and figuratively – an Eames chair. The story illustrates in a whimsical fashion how the value of material objects can have different, but no less important, meaning to different people. DIEZ shows the many different realities that exist in the same neighborhood and the contrasting values that accompany them. Ultimately DIEZ asks the question; when divided into its DIEZ (ten) basic components, what value does an Eames chair really have?

— Filmmaker Immanuel Martin

Lupe Ontiveros (1942-2012) RIP

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Funny and talented Mexican-American actress Lupe Ontiveros passed away last night in Whittier, CA. Lupe was an accomplished actress and community activist and will be missed.

Born in El Paso, TX on Sept. 17, 1942, she appeared in numerous films and television shows, including Selena, Real Women Have Curves, Southland, Desperate Housewives, Rob, Family Guy and many more.

Always ready to crack an off-color joke, Lupe was genial and hilarious and also brutally honest about her time in Hollywood.

Mas…Lupe Ontiveros (1942-2012) RIP

Espace age bachelor Esquivel’s ‘Mucha Muchacha’ (music video)

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Tap your tootsies, snap your fingers and enjoy a cerveza with one of espace age bachelor pad musical maestro Juan Garcia Esquivel’s greatest hits: Mucha Muchacha. And whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you?

Wikipedia:

Juan García Esquivel (January 20, 1918 – January 3, 2002) often simply known as Esquivel!, was a Mexican band leader, pianist, and composer for television and films. He is recognized today as one of the foremost exponents of a sophisticated style of largely instrumental music that combines elements of lounge music and jazz with Latin flavors. Esquivel is sometimes called “The King of Space Age Pop” and “The Busby Berkeley of Cocktail Music.” Esquivel is considered one of the foremost exponents of a style of late 1950s-early 1960s quirky instrumental pop that became known (in retrospect) as “Space Age Bachelor Pad Music”.

Kinky: In ‘Despues Del After’ a robot does the Chinese dougie (video)

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Monterrey technorock superstars Kinky and an illuminated robot amigo shot this new video in Shanghai, Beijing and Hong Kong. (Despues Del After = After the After.)

And we love this older (possibly NSFW: side boobs) English-language Kinky production with an eight-bit video game look, the band’s tribute to Those Girls:

Mas…Kinky: In ‘Despues Del After’ a robot does the Chinese dougie (video)

Mea maxima culpa: The Pocho Ocho top Chicano sins

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It’s rough being a Chicano, one little misstep and you can crap all over the sanctity of your Chicanismo. Here’s a list of the top eight Chicano sins you want to avoid, just in case you have trouble keeping track.

8. Changing your name to an Aztec name: If you’re Rosa, don’t pretend like you’re really Xochitl just because you joined MEChA. And that goes for you, too, Nezahualcoyotl, I mean Erick.

7. Confusing Emiliano Zapata with Pancho Villa: Yes, they both had mustaches, but not all Mexicans look the same. One of them was a revolutionary or something, right?

6. Talking shit about RATM: Every Chicano loves Rage Against The Machine, without question, everyone knows this. How dare you?!

Mas…Mea maxima culpa: The Pocho Ocho top Chicano sins

Scientists desecrate Mayan tomb of Chak, King of El Zotz (video)

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The desecration of Mayan heritage sites by so-called scientists continues in Guatemala, and the invaders just released a video to trumpet their “rediscovery” of the ancient Mayan Temple of the Night Sun near the town of El Zotz.

The interlopers will rediscover their fight or flight reactions on December 21 when they come face-to-face with the reincarnated spirit of Chak, who was once the King of El Zotz. The crew is currently looting Chak’s tomb.

From National Geographic:

Some 1,600 years ago, the Temple of the Night Sun was a blood-red beacon visible for miles and adorned with giant masks of the Maya sun god as a shark, blood drinker, and jaguar.

Mas…Scientists desecrate Mayan tomb of Chak, King of El Zotz (video)

Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero: What should I do with this large cash settlement?

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Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero:

I recently received a large cash settlement (six figures) after my Geo Metro was totalled at Melrose and La Cienega by Kim Kardashian’s shoe concierge.

After I pay off the remaining bills, I’ll have $100K in cash. What should I do with the money?

A Man Named Jed

Dear Jed:

Thank you for your over-written, obviously fake letter. Are you perchance referring to the Geo Metro with the new rims? Or am I just throwing in gratuitous links for SEO porpoises? (Whales, dolphins, sea lions, seals, baby seals.)

The real question is where do you, Mr. Nouveau Riche Jed, or whatever your name is, feel most comfortable on Dr. Dinero’s Pyramid of Risk and Reward.™

Can you handle the risk of losing everything or do you want safety even though it nets you less? In these tricky economic times, safety is the obvious choice. The riskier investments — higher on the pyramid — can pay off the most but they come with maximum probability of loss.

Mas…Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero: What should I do with this large cash settlement?

El Rey Del Art, painter of Arizona light, gone but not forgotten

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Crimson Justice‘Crimson Justice Swings by his Storage Unit for a Few Things’ by El Rey Del Art

He was the king of art, El Rey Del Art, and he painted flat bright canvases with the glare of Arizona. Landscapes. Animals. Superheroes and luchadores. Monkeys. Robots. Squids. Monkey robots. Monkey superheroes. The usual.

But then El Rey stopped painting the “real world,” dropped his art name and turned his attention to the virtual worlds of video games, which he paints in the style of the Fauvists, “characterized by seemingly wild brush work and strident colors.”

Check out his rendition of a favela in Brasil from Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2:

Mas…El Rey Del Art, painter of Arizona light, gone but not forgotten

Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio

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It is sometime in the near future.

Laws have been set in motion to protect the American Homeland. Your freedom and sanity are at stake. Oh, and your jobs.

I forgot about your jobs. And your beautifully domesticated wives and children. You pay your taxes, yet you feel one-upped. Lied to. I know. I have a mortgage and a timeshare I haven’t paid in months. Meanwhile our lazy neighbors to the south consume our resources. But there’s no need to fear. No longer do we have to sit in Victoria’s Secret as our wives are gawked at by gang-banging border hoppers. No. Victoria is just beyond the horizon. And one man risks it all in his comfy radio studio located somewhere in the Arizona desert.

That man is Lance Liberty for 101.3 Honest Radio. Take it away, Lance…

Mas…Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio

A time-traveling flapper’s dilemma: ‘Clara’s Los Angeles’ (video)

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Clara’s Los Angeles (14:59): The last thing Clara Villanueva remembers was dancing the Charleston at Hollywood’s Ambassador Hotel in 1926. When she wakes up on a park bench in modern downtown Los Angeles, she has a lot of catching up to do.

Marissa Chibas wrote, produced, directed and starred in this video, shot downtown and in Silverlake, Los Feliz and Hollywood. (Silent movie, with instrumental soundtrack and English/Spanish title cards.)

Goth industrial post-punk dark wave Veronica: ‘Naked’ (music video)

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“I dance all night, I’m trouble every day!”

Veronica “marks its corner of the sandbox with disdain and rancor. Frontman Omar’s voice traces base desires along electronic body music lines with Marilyn Manson-meets-Orgy groans. Naked is a stripped, raw and tightly magnificent pause in the happy-pop-fed masses’ pathetic existence,” José Benavides writes over at Remezcla, and who are we to disagree? One minute and 38 seconds of WIN from these Brooklyn pochos.

Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your chicken wings: Rape jokes!

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I’ve been operating under the assumption that the average man has no love in his heart.

It’s a strange subconscious feeling that slowly crept into my daily life. I think, however, media played a bigger role in its development than my real interactions with others.

I know it’s not true, and up until recently, I wasn’t even aware that I felt that way.

I was thinking about the whole Daniel Tosh rape thing and I just thought to myself: Well, what do you expect? Men are not capable of love.

It was more than just a fleeting thought. It was a foundational belief that has been shaping how I look at the world.

I have to admit, when you see the position of women in our world, it’s hard to believe men can love. When men call us sluts and whores and cunts, it’s hard to believe they feel any ounce of love.  When you see the rape statistics, when you meet victims of rape, when you yourself have been assaulted, it’s really hard to think men can love.

However, bringing it back to Tosh, that doesn’t mean rape can’t be funny.

Rape victims are not fragile damaged hysterical women who burst into crying fits every time someone says the word rape. Actually, I’ve known both male and female rape victims who can find a rape joke funny because they don’t define who they are as a “rape victims.” They are just people who got raped.

Indulge me as I further illustrate my point.

Mas…Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your chicken wings: Rape jokes!

Dear Abuelita: Wife and lover, my ring-a-ding, trouble at the zoo

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Dear Abuelita:
Is it possible to love two women at the same time? You see, I love my wive and I would do anything for her, but I also love my secret lover who inspires me in different ways that my wife does not. I make more love to my secret lover than to my wife. I think both of my loves complement my needs and I need both of them to be at peace.
Signed, Confused But Happy

Dear Con Fundio,
Don’t act like a tonto by saying you’d do anything for your wife. If you really meant it you would dump the hoochie coochie you have on the side and be a devoted husband. You’re so full of mierda, you need a lavativa not a lover.

Of course both your “loves” complement your needs. You’re a sin verguenza. Have you ever thought of the needs of your two women? How much are you offering them? I wouldn’t blame them if they had some one else on the side as well. Would serve you right.

Your pregunta is the biggest load of cacagada I’ve seen since my sancho plugged the toilet with one of his massive camotes.
Me da asco, cabron, Tu Abuelita

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Wife and lover, my ring-a-ding, trouble at the zoo

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