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Year in Review: JLo needs to fix it again, Tony

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You can’t go home again; ask la Señorita Lopez.

JLo’s waxing poetic about her roots and her neighborhood made for a very nice commercial but a not-so-nice commentary about her beloved Bronx.

Jenny-from-the-block’s part in her new commercial was not shot “round the way” but rather on the rough and tumble streets of West Los Angeles (yeah, I know they both look soooo much alike.)

Mas…Year in Review: JLo needs to fix it again, Tony

Epic video announcement: Luchador ♥ POCHO

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¡Hola!  The POCHO management team is hustling for our January 2nd re-launch.  As you will see from our launch promo video, we didn’t have a lot of time to audition many spokes-avatars.  At least he gets the point across, sort of.  POCHO is launching and we are looking forward to bringing you the freshest & sassiest News y Satire when it does.  Meantime, check out our Facebook page and sign up for our mailing list so you can keep up with us.

Share this video freely con tus amigos. What’s that? You don’t even know what POCHO is yourself? Well, our Mission Statement oughta clear that right up for you.

Lalo’s Pocho Ocho New Year’s resolutions

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8. Wear more slimming clothes

7. Get a new job to supplement income from five other jobs

6. Take a vacation at one of those nice FEMA camps

5. Quit drinking alcohol that doesn’t get me fucked up really fast

4. Reduce financial stress by picking up a hobby, like bank robbing, or writing a hit song

3. Start eating my 10-year supply of freeze-dried survival food

2. “Party Like It’s 2012”

And my top New Year’s Resolution for 2012:

72 dpi

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What are your New Year’s resolutions? Post them here!

Mayan Doomsday 2012? Instant karma gonna get you

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We as a species deserve whatever Mayan Doom 2012™ brings our way.

Tweet-comic Jon Hendren proved it on Xmas and Boxing Day when he retweeted people’s bitching about not getting the gifts they wanted. Boohoo, they moaned – no one loves me enough to give me the muy caro gadget I need sooo sooo badly.

I, on the other hand, was sad because I had no iPad … until I met a man who had no nalgas. Lookit these screenshots of Tweets:

Mas…Mayan Doomsday 2012? Instant karma gonna get you

Razaphobic AZ judge just says ‘nein’ to Mexican-American Studies

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Arizona has made it illegal to be brown in their state, now that a judge has ruled that it is illegal to think brown.

Tucson Unified School District’s Mexican-American Studies Department has lost an appeal before a Razaphobic judge and faces the complete dismantling of their academic program. Mexican-American Studies educates brown and non-brown children, but the main problem to Superintendent John Huppenthal is that brown children come out smarter and empowered after taking MAS courses.

Arizona state school officials violate the educational rights of brown children while Sheriff Joe Arpaio allows the violation of brown children.

Cue the banjos!

NAMMLA: Mayor’s animal love Christmas card ‘a good start’

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San Juan Alcalde hopes your dreams come true. Image courtesy AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

 

(PNS reporting from POCHO RICO)  San Juan Mayor Jorge Santini’s  Christmas card — which features a graphic interspecies love tryst — is “a good start,” the North American Man-Mammal Love Association (NAMMLA) enthused Wednesday.

“We’ve been after the mayor all year to get him to stand up for our right to love our furry neighbors as ourselves,” local NAMMLA leader Juan Don Gamera told a press conference in capital city San Juan.

“This card doesn’t go all the way,” the Boricuan said, “but when he’s not ashamed to show the lion lying down with the lamb, so to speak, it’s a good start.”

Mas…NAMMLA: Mayor’s animal love Christmas card ‘a good start’

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