El Now

It’s News to Us!

An Open Letter to the Denver Public Library Commission

by

An Open Letter to the Denver Public Library Commission:

I am writing in response to the so-called “ire” that was reported in the Denver Post regarding the new West Denver library being named after Rodolfo Corky Gonzales.

I am an author/publisher and a Denver native. I am also Chicano. My roots in Denver run deep and though I may live far from the Mile High City now, Denver will always be home.

How can one convey to you in such a limited space how iconic Gonzales is? The man is legend, not just in Colorado but nationally. Though the Chicano/a movement is not what it used to be in Denver, its roots are still there. There are those who would balk at this library – those who would like nothing more than to wipe Corky’s memory from the history books, just as they are trying to do with our books and history in Arizona, despite the fact that these things are as American as anything else. Ignorance speaks volumes.

Mas…An Open Letter to the Denver Public Library Commission

Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook

by

(PNS reporting from  SAN MARCOS, TX) Seventeen-year-old San Marcos High School senior Byron Chavez called someone’s mother a “wetback” in a comment on a Facebook photo yesterday — Mothers Day.

Chavez, the grandson of Mexican immigrants, used the W-word in response to a widely-circulated picture of a young woman at an immigration reform rally holding a sign reading “Fuck Weed. Legalize My Mom.”

Chavez posted “Fuck your wetback mom! Legalize Weed!” 30 minutes after his cousin Lauren Saucedo posted the image on her timeline .

“I was taken aback by his comment,”  Saucedo emailed PNS. “Our grandparents were immigrants who came from Mexico looking for a better future.”

Mas…Stoner Latino student calls woman’s mom a ‘wetback’ on Facebook

Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants

by

Do you have trouble growing a big bigote?

Are you follicle-challenged in the upper liply region?

Are you the lone bare-faced boy in a room of full of hirsute hombres?

Let’s talk turkey, carnal.

We mean Turkey with capital T that rhymes with “pee.” OK, maybe that’s a bad example.  But Turkey, the sick man of Europe, may have the ‘stache you’ve been looking for.

The Wall Street Journal reports:

Mas…Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants

BBC Video: ‘Nuns’ with nasty coke habits busted in Colombia

by


Colombian police have arrested three women dressed as nuns who were trying to smuggle six kilos (13.1 pounds) of cocaine hidden under their habits. The trio was popped as they were passing through the Colombian Island of San Andres – a notorious drug-trafficking route. The fake nuns were searched after police saw them acting suspiciously.

Mas…BBC Video: ‘Nuns’ with nasty coke habits busted in Colombia

Breaking: Crickett recalls kids’ rifles over safety concerns

by

(PNS reporting from PENNSYLVANIA) Crickett Firearms has recalled My First Rifle over safety concerns about the toxic paint used to coat the firearms.

“Our kids’ safety is utmost, so we are pulling some of our children’s weapons, especially the brightly-colored Hello Kitty model,” says Crickett spokesperson Wes Smithson. 

Mas…Breaking: Crickett recalls kids’ rifles over safety concerns

PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character

by

(PNS reporting from LONDON) Downton Abbey executive producer Gareth Neame said today that newcomer Gary Coleman’s addition to the British show “will bring interesting twists to the drama.” The cute-as-a-button actor has most recently been seen in various American sitcoms and reality programs.

His Downton character, Arnold Jackson, is described as “a charming and charismatic” young man. The long-awaited addition marks the first time Downton has had an adorable black character.

Mas…PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character

Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’

by


(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America’s observance of Cinco de Mayo on Sunday was the “most dangerous ever” according to a report released here today by the National Institute of Holidays (NIH.)

A record 1378 emergency room visits by gringos failing the “chile challenge” were reported by the group as well as 287 “chancla accidents.”

Mas…Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’

Happy Inko! Celebrate National Cartoonists Day on Cinco de Mayo

by

Happy Inko de Mayo from La Cucaracha!

Yes, today is the day where we celebrate cartoonists, as it is National Cartoonists Day.

Serio, the National Cartoonists Society started this event a few years ago, apparently  because they had no Latino members at the time who might have mentioned May 5 is already Cinco de Mayo, but, hey, I’m glad they ran with it!

So, let’s honor our ink-stained heroes who go back to the drawing table day after day and try to provide you with some laughs, smirks or even a muted chuckle. I am happy to double celebrate on this day, especially as a Chicano cartoonist and avid Battle of Puebla recreator. So throw a few back today (of course I mean espresso, we’re celebrating cartoonists for heaven’s sake!)

Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

by

(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Federales are cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

Corn tortilla achieves enlightenment on unattended Texas comal

by

tortillas on a comal(PNS reporting from Edinburg, TX) A corn tortilla was released from its physical shell and achieved enlightenment last night when it was inadvertently consumed by fire during Gil Trejo’s dinner preparations.

The University of South Texas assistant professor of Latin American literature was heating the traditional Mexican flat bread to accompany leftover frijoles con queso when he became distracted by an intense scene in the sitcom How I Met Your Mother. He sat down in his living room, thoughtlessly leaving the comal unattended.

Alone, on the flat metal griddle, the tortilla de maiz burst into flames, releasing its essence from saṃsāra and leaving behind naught but the charred husk of its temporary shell.

Mas…Corn tortilla achieves enlightenment on unattended Texas comal

Latino filmmaker claims Zach Braff stole his Kickstarter funding

by

(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Actor and film director Zach Braff has raised $2 million in three days to fund a follow-up to his 2004 film, Garden State.

Over 30,000 Kickstarter backers pledged $2.1-plus million to Braff’s Wish I Was Here, with 25 days left in the campaign.

Not everyone is pleased with the results of this highly-successful crowd-funding effort. Chicano filmmaker Cuahctemoc Esperanza is upset that Braff raised millions yet no one has pledged any Kickstarter money for his documentary Chicana/o Vegan-themed Musical Resistance in Chiapas During the Early 90s.

Mas…Latino filmmaker claims Zach Braff stole his Kickstarter funding

Reese Witherspoon goes chola, defends her man from pig cops

by

(PNS reporting from ATLANTA) Reese Witherspoon trotted out her East L.A. roots over the weekend after her husband was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol.

“Who do you think you are?” Reese demanded during the traffic stop. “You can’t treat my man like that! Do you know who I am? If you don’t know now, you will soon, cabrón! Ain’t nobody mess with my man but me!”

Witnesses said Witherspoon’s head bobbed back and she waved her arms erratically.

From the police report:

Mas…Reese Witherspoon goes chola, defends her man from pig cops

Pocho Ocho Republican things you didn’t know were in The Bible

by

It’s in the Jewy Old Testament, written from right to left in Leviticus, Chapter 19, Verses 33-34, where God tells Moses (photo, left):

If a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not do him wrong. The stranger that sojourneth with you shall be unto you as the home-born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.

God-fearing Christian Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) sure as Hell doesn’t think that means making nice to undocumented immigrants and he was quite happy to tell evangelical so-called Christian pro-reform advocates that he knows The Bible better than they do.

“I think this idea that somehow love, statements in Leviticus 19, is not the kind of thing that would indicate that we shouldn’t have laws,” Sessions mansplained. “Some people have been citing the Scripture, I think, pretty loosely,” he added.

Mas…Pocho Ocho Republican things you didn’t know were in The Bible

CDC health warning: Small pipi syndrome hits middle-aged men

by

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The Centers for Disease Control is warning of an emerging epidemic hitting middle-aged men who have just begun to go bald and gain weight.

Medical experts are terming the new outbreak “small pipi syndrome” and the list of symptoms is alarming:

Oxnard man says ‘Hand of God’ saved family from salsa poisoning

by

Jar of Herdez Salsa Casera(PNS reporting from OXNARD, CA) Sam Fuentes is certain he and his kids would be dead today if God hadn’t intervened.

“The Lord Almighty — with a strong hand and an outstretched arm — saved us from the Grim Reaper, that’s for sure!” the Del Norte businessman and father of two told PNS. “That salsa coulda killed us, but it didn’t.”

Fuentes called the POCHO ñewsroom tipline (408-POCHO-28) to share his story.

The brush with death by salsa, his voicemail said, began Sunday morning after church when he began preparing pot roast for his children Selena, 9, and Chente, 11, who were “his” over the weekend per terms of the custody agreement with his ex-wife Evangelina.

“I got the recipe right off the Internets from the Herdez gente. I trust Herdez Salsa Casera. I have toda confianza, just like the label says. It’s Mexico’s favorite and my mom always swore by it,” Fuentes said:

Mas…Oxnard man says ‘Hand of God’ saved family from salsa poisoning

Angry Tejanos demand British Museum return Freddy Fender’s wig

by

(PNS reporting from TEXAS) Tejanos want singer Freddy Fender’s wig back.

The Música Committee of the Narciso Martinez Cultural Arts Center in San Benito last week demanded the British Museum effect “the immediate return of this important Tejano cultural item.”

The salt-and-pepper Afro-style toupee, called “Freddy’s Fro,” disappeared from the singer’s home shortly after his death in 2006 and reappeared this winter in the Museum’s “Ethnic Minorities in the United States” exhibit on a mannequin of the singer, best known for his 1970s’ hit Wasted Days and Wasted Nights.

Mas…Angry Tejanos demand British Museum return Freddy Fender’s wig

Breaking: Jan Brewer signs bill banning Chechen Studies

by

(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Gov. Jan Brewer has signed into law a bill banning the state’s schools from teaching Chechen Studies classes, defined as history, anthropology and literature courses designed to teach the stories, histories, struggles and triumphs of the Chechen people through their own unique perspectives.

The bill (HB2013) passed by the Legislature states that schools will lose state funding if they offer any courses that “promote the overthrow of the U.S. government, promote resentment of a particular race or class of people, are designed primarily for students of a particular ethnic group, advocate ethnic solidarity or just plain educate the students.”

Mas…Breaking: Jan Brewer signs bill banning Chechen Studies

Caucasian-Americans rally across U.S. to protest racial profiling

by

cacaprotest

(PNS reporting from RANCHO POCHO, CA) With defiant shouts of “Don’t Cauc me, bro!” and “Chechnya? I just metchnya!” dozens of Caucasian-Americans filled the corners of city parks and the edges of town squares across the Nation Sunday to protest what they call “illegal racial profiling” against Caucasians.

The identification of two Caucasian-American suspects in the Boston Marathon bombings has resulted in both nasty words and police harassment, they claim.

Mas…Caucasian-Americans rally across U.S. to protest racial profiling

CNN identifies three Mexican mujeres wanted for Boston bombings

by

(PNS reporting from BOSTON) CNN has identified the three Mexican women suspected of the Marathon bombing, sources say:

Three obese Mexican women…are the chief suspects in the Boston Marathon attack.

“My top-level sources have confirmed that the individuals depicted in these photos planned, coordinated, and put into effect this week’s deadly bombing,” said CNN reporter John King, speaking of the trio of overweight Hispanic women, two of whom reportedly died in the late 1990s and one of whom has never actually visited the United States.

Mas…CNN identifies three Mexican mujeres wanted for Boston bombings

Scanning for Mexicans? How about puro pocho ringtones! (audio)

by

Our amigos at Latino Rebels tipped us off to a brewing controversy about a South Park audio clip being used as a ringtone. On South Park they were “scanning for Mexicans.”

We decided cellphones needed some puro pocho ringtones, so we made four ringtones — dare we call them POCHOTONES? — starring Cheech Marin, Edward J. Olmos, Alfonso Bedoya and George Lopez.

Download and share (.mp3 format):

Mas…Scanning for Mexicans? How about puro pocho ringtones! (audio)

+ Load More Posts