“POCHO,” they email us, “why you be hatin’ all the time? Imma tell you the gente are tired of all that. They want dancing — and dogs!” We are so here for you, dear readers.
In ‘Reportero’ Tijuana journalists try to do their jobs — and live (video)
Reportero follows a veteran reporter and his colleagues at Zeta, a Tijuana-based independent newsweekly, as they stubbornly ply their trade in one of the deadliest places in the world for members of the media. As the drug war intensifies and the risks to journalists become greater, will the free press be silenced?
Pocho Ocho upcoming books from Latino authority Ruben Navarrette
Professional Latino authority Ruben Navarrette, Jr., who is not a DREAMer thank you very much, already wrote one book and he has more on the way!
Here’s a peek at his pocho ocho upcoming publishing projects:
8. Selling Out Is Easy — The Five-Step Plan
7. Turn Self-Hatred Into Profits!
6. Cognitive Dissonance for Dummies
Mas…Pocho Ocho upcoming books from Latino authority Ruben Navarrette
Happy 78th Birthday Elvis Presley, undocumented worker (video)
El Rey de Rock Elvis Presley would have been 78 today. Here, in Fun in Acapulco, he needs to score cash but he has no working papers. What to do?
Huell Howser is classic in this ‘Lowrider Magazine’ car show video
I am sad about yesterday’s passing of a California treasure, the extremely upbeat public TV host Huell Howser.
He was the longtime host of California Gold, a show that covered the nuggets of Cali history in a hilarious and charming way.
If you don’t understand the fuss, watch this classic video of Huell cheerily interviewing participants at a Lowrider Magazine Car Club show in L.A. in the early 90s. Enjoy!
Hey white bitches talkin’ sh*t: You better back your sh*t up (video)
Yo yo yo you white bitches: If you’re talkin’ shit about Mexicans, you better back your shit up! (NSFW audio.)
Local woman tired of having personal relationship with bodega owner
(PNS reporting from DA BRONX) Area resident Paloma Campos is fed up with the “familiarity” at her local bodega.
Campos, a molecular biologist, complained to friends last week about the exhausting personal relationship she’s expected to maintain with bodega owner Victor Martinez (photo, right.)
“Why can’t I just buy a can of soda without discussing my personal life? Just give me my goddam Jupiña,” Campos said.
Campos first started visiting the bodega on the corner of 182nd and Grand as a young teen when her family moved to the area. Though she moved away for four years to attend college, Campos was eventually guilt-tripped by her mother to move back to the West Bronx.
Campos ended up renting the apartment directly above the small store where she has lived for the past eight years. While she was able to sublet the apartment from her cousin’s step-sons’s girlfriend’s cousin at a great price, she cannot make a simple grocery purchase without a 20-minute discussion.
Mas…Local woman tired of having personal relationship with bodega owner
Eeeeek! It’s the Fiscal Cliff! (video toon)
Rich people need love, too, President Obama!
Ñewsweek: DREAMers dream, Arpaio hates, Hugo Chavez lives
Hey, pochos, it’s 2013 and it looks like we’re in for more of the same old same old from our regular cast of characters!
Thrill as Sheriff Joe Arpaio returns in a Brand New Hate-Fest for the New Year!
Hold on to your seats as Still-Not-Dead-Yet Commie Super-Hero Hugo Chavez returns to reprise two of his greatest hits!
Smirk and snicker as CNN talking head Ruben Navarrette, Jr., who graduated from Harvard in case you didn’t know, tells those lazy DREAMers to sit up straight and quit talking or HE’S GOING TO STOP THE CAR and come back there. Dr. Rudy Acuña sets him straight.
These were the stories that broke the ñews on POCHO in the first week of 2013:
Mas…Ñewsweek: DREAMers dream, Arpaio hates, Hugo Chavez lives
Navarrette vs Acuña: The debate about DREAMers gets personal
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| Ruben Navarrette, Jr. | Dr. Rodolfo Francisco Acuña |
It’s the debate that’s burning up the blogosphere. Talking head and self-promoting Latino expert Ruben Navarrette, Jr. thinks those DREAMers are so SELFISH and LAME and NEEDY that they are drawing attention away from important topics, the most important of which is Navarrette who is no pinche DREAMer, thank you very much. Dr. Rodolfo Francisco Acuña, the father of Chicano Studies, responds.
Here are the two columns, side by side:
Mas…Navarrette vs Acuña: The debate about DREAMers gets personal
Arpaio plans massive ‘Operation Rosca’ to find Tres Reyes gang
(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has begun Operation Rosca, a massive sweep designed to cripple the Tres Reyes smuggling cartel — the Three Kings. The cartel smuggles babies in bread and traffics in incense and precious metals, according to “America’s toughest sheriff.”
Arapio became aware of the cartel, which “came from the east,” when concerned citizens flooded his office with calls about “Middle-Eastern-looking men smelling of incense” walking westward on McDowell Road in Phoenix’ Bethlehem neighborhood. Locals reported that they asked where the Latino barrio was located, which “aroused suspicious about their status.”
Mas…Arpaio plans massive ‘Operation Rosca’ to find Tres Reyes gang
They met at Ikea, fell in love, and now it’s ‘Tango for Janjsö’ (video)
Kvart (left) strong, tall and firm, led a lonely life on the floor of the Lighting Department of Ikea, until he met the lovely, lithe Jonjsö (right). Now their life is a romantic tango.
Mas…They met at Ikea, fell in love, and now it’s ‘Tango for Janjsö’ (video)
The Pocho Ocho cosas I found in my Rosca de Reyes
Sunday is Three Kings Day, Dia de Los Reyes Magos, AKA Epiphany, the day when Los Tres Reyes dropped by the manger to gift up the original Anchor Baby, El Baby Jesus.
Check out the pocho ocho things we found in the Rosca de Reyes here at the POCHO world headquarters:
8. Plastic Baby Jesus
7. One long black hair
6. Homies action figure “Cholo Priest”
Local man blames Obama after ‘get up and go’ got up and went
(PNS reporting from EL PASO) Jason Morales finally figured out why his “get up and go” got up and went, he told friends at Hoopy Frood’s on New Year’s Eve, and all clues point to President Barack Obama.
“President Afrika Hussein Bambata is the worst president in this country’s history,” he announced to the teeming North Mesa Street establishment after his fourth Blue Moon with an orange wedge, “and he has robbed me of my chance at the American dream.”
Mas…Local man blames Obama after ‘get up and go’ got up and went
Opera Video: Enrico Caruso sings ‘Una Furtiva Lagrima’ (with fish)
Something fishy is afloat in Berkeley, and the sad aria Una Furtiva Lagrima sung by Enrico Caruso will get you hooked.
Before capitalism cancer kills Hugo Chavez, a look back
Before capitalism cancer kills commie commissar Hugo Chavez and it would be TOO SOON to mock him, here’s a look back at POCHO’s coverage of the Venezuelan jefe:
- Victorious Hugo Chavez to Americans: ‘Back my socialist amigo Obama’
(PNS reporting from CARACAS) Hugo Chavez — re-elected to a third six-year term as president of Venezuela — has again called on Americans to re-elect Pres. Barack Obama.
In a four-hour televised speech to his nation late Sunday, Chavez called Obama the best hope for Socialism in the Western Hemisphere. The left-wing strong man had previously endorsed the President in September.
“El Obama deserves your support, gringos,” he said in a rare foray into English. “He may not admit to being a Marxist-Leninist but inside he is as red as your Danny Glover and Oliver Estone.” [Continued here…]
Obama, Pelosi hook up to urge ‘Fiscal Clit’ stimulus
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) With the “fiscal cliff” crisis over, congressional Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi is joining the Obama Administration’s push for a Fiscal Clit stimulus.
“President Obama has been working every angle to deliver a really generous package that will provide the kind of stimulus America needs,” Pelosi told reporters after Tuesday night’s historic House vote. “The Fiscal Clit will provide a release for tense Americans everywhere, especially for women. This has been a long and hard process, and we’re glad to see it will have a happy ending.”
Republicans were quick to renounce Pelosi’s assertions.
“There is no such thing as a Fiscal Clit,” said GOP pundit Dick Chiquito on Fox News. “No one I spoke to in the Republican Party has ever encountered a Fiscal Clit, and we’ve checked binders full of women over the last 40 years.”
New Year’s Day 2013 according to a few photographs
Occupy at the Rose Parade in Pasadena:
The day after New Year’s Eve in New York City:
Merry New Year from Eddie Murphy (video, beef jerky not included)
Eddie Murphy, always fly, wishes everyone a Merry New Year!
Crossing the street in Guadalajara? Mind those traffic signals! (video)
New Mexico pocho Louis Head sent in this 30-second travel video. Be careful out there, pochos — cross in the crosswalks and espere la luz!
Mexclusive! POCHO Public Service New Year Punctuation Advisory
The tilde — don’t leave home without it! Happy New Year from all the Pochodores!
Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s new plan: Arm AZ kids with grenade launchers
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Last week, Arizona Attorney General Tom Horne proposed putting a gun in the hands of at least one kindergartner in every school and Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio is running with the idea.
“America’s toughest sheriff” wants a grenade launcher for every student.
According to Sheriff Joe, after he puts armed posse members near schools, he will focus on arming every student with a personalized grenade launcher to “blow the living shit out of anything that even looks suspicious…like Mexicans.”
Mas…Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s new plan: Arm AZ kids with grenade launchers
Ring In the Oldies: ‘Happy New Year Baby,’ ‘Sabor A Mi’ (music videos)
It’s 1965 and big hair and girl groups are all the rage.
In East L.A., sisters Rosella, Ersi and Mary Arvizu, who had been singing and playing music together all their lives, thought they had the right stuff to be the next Supremes — even before there were Supremes. They called themselves The Sisters.
Mas…Ring In the Oldies: ‘Happy New Year Baby,’ ‘Sabor A Mi’ (music videos)
Please donate to POCHO now to help us break the ñews!
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With only a few hours left in the Year of the Chancla, please make a small holiday donation now so we can continue breaking the ñews! POCHO needs money to upgrade our webservers, money to fix our broken computers and, more than anything, money to pay our editors and writers and videographers and cartoonists who have contributed a year’s worth of amazingly chingon content for free.
Every $10, $20 or $50 helps. Click on the donate button now. Thank you, pochos!
Ñewsweek: Latina’s lament, Jean Naté returns, video editor fired
In East L.A., activist Vanessa “Coyolxauhqui” García had a sad and broke down crying at a community meeting right before the end of the year. Garcia was distraught at the gap between her aspirations and the sad state of the world.
In the San Fernando Valley, adult video editor Roberto Mendoza faced an uncertain future after being fired for browsing Internet spreadsheets at work.
And in New Jersey, a bottle of Jean Naté was regifted to its original gifter 19 years after its purchase at Rexall.
In the final year of the Mayan Apocalypse, the Year of the Chancla, these stories broke the ñews on POCHO:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Latina’s lament, Jean Naté returns, video editor fired
Sabado Pochonte Video Theatre: ‘A Mexican Toy Story’
What does a 65-year-old man do when he has one million toys in his personal collection? Mexican architect Roberto Shimizu opened an underground museum at his home in Mexico City.
Local Latina activist tearfully faces reality: ‘I can’t save the world’
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Vanessa “Coyolxauhqui” García (photo, right) underwent a nervous breakdown at the Boyle Heights Community Development Council’s final 2012 meeting Wednesday night.
After several snotty tissues, García faced up to the vast distance between her dreams and reality.
“I can’t save the world! I can barely save myself!” she cried, wiping her tears on the sleeve of the Mexican peasant blouse she bought on her second trip to Chiapas in ’97.
“I’m, like, trying here. I just want to give back to my community, but it’s hard, you know? Not everyone is as dedicated to la causa as I am.”
Mas…Local Latina activist tearfully faces reality: ‘I can’t save the world’
A nerd visits Mexico City, and it’s ‘El Tonto vs El solar’ (video)
In ¡El Tonto! a socially-challenged vacationer in Mexico City strikes up an unlikely friendship with lucha libre star El Solar.