GOP Presidential nominee Gov. Mitt Romney will be in the hot seat on Univisión at 7PM PDT tonight. Anchors Jorge Ramos and María Elena Salinas will ask him questions in Spanish, and Latino wannabe Romney will respond in English.
It’s an ideal time to bust out your Arpaio Viejo™ Tequila for a drinking game! Every time Mitt Romney does something from Column A, take a drink according to the rules in Column B:
Mas…The Mitt Romney is on Univisión’s hot seat drinking game
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They were just ordinary people, living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstances conspired with fate to make them
UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH
Dikran Karabedian (1904-1967) was a humble immigrant shoemaker from Armenia with a knack for invisible and indestructible leather stitchery when he caught the eye of famed Hollywood costume designer Aida Cabeza. Karabedian’s architectural acumen was the secret structural salsa that made the towering fruit hats of Carmen Miranda possible.
Are you familiar with Clorox Latino? Did you know Clorox Latino has an abuela?
It was our friends at LatinoRebels.com who first tipped us off to Clorox’s new Spanish-language Facebook page.
The page features a photo gallery of “grandma’s sayings (refranes de mi abuela)” to get you in the bleaching mood, like this mysterious saying about moscas — flies.
POCHO translated these timeless bits of wisdom into English for all of America, since it’s Hispanic Heritage Month 2012 and we want to share.
Mas…Clorox Latino’s abuela has a few words for you; also, don’t eat flies
I say that jokingly, but it would be helpful to be Latino.
Sometimes I say the DARNDEST THINGS. As a Republican Presidential candidate with a good chance of unseating an incumbent Presidente, it is very important to watch what you say. But I keep on saying CREYSY CHET.
It’s as if I’m not aware that I am ALREADY LATINO. I am already enjoying the benefits of being MORE LATINO THAN SHOULD BE LEGALLY ALLOWED.
People really don’t realize that Mexican Mitt Romney is SOOOO LATINO. Let me help the still clueless. My PADRE was born in CHIHUAHUA on a RANCHO. (Rancho is Spanish for MORMON POLYGAMOUS COMPOUND.) His parents had Self-Deported to Mexico before the Mexican Revolution, and Self-Deported back during. Then they were on government assistance. WHOOPS, THAT WAS A PRETTY MEXICAN THING TO DO.
Randy Newman weighs in on the election with I’m Dreaming of a White President.
Here’s streaming audio and a free download:
Mas…Randy Newman: ‘I’m Dreaming of a White President’ (video, audio)
(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Can you speak eSpanish like Mexican Mitt? Can you dance around a sombrero at a moment’s notice? Do you crease your Dickies until they can cut through glass? If you answered “no” to any of these questions then you might be a fake Mexican, just like San Antonio Mayor Julián Castro.
In the latest “fake Mexican” scandal, Castro made headlines across the country as the first Latino keynote speaker at the Democratic National Convention earlier this month, but his glaring lack of forced Spanish catch-phrases has some people questioning his Mexican card. Some have even dared to call the vato a pocho…
Mas…Fake Mexicans: Why Julian Castro failed the Mexican test
It’s Hispanic Heritage Month. Break out a novelty sombrero and a bottle of Patron, because like a taco smothered in salsa, heritage is waay more palpable when it’s smothered in consumerism…
I often encounter people who don’t understand why I identify as Hispanic. I’ve given it a lot of thought and I think it comes down to this: they’re eating the shit sandwich.
The shit sandwich is served-up fresh daily by consumerism. Let’s process culture, strip it of all that gunk we don’t need (like knowledge and power), and behold — now you can buy a poncho at Urban Outfitters. Culture itself has no value outside the bounds of consumption.
Culture is no different than a box of cereal.
8. El guau guau – Also known as a dog. Ferocious creatures.
7. The old country – If you don’t behave I’m going to send you to México next summer, is that what you want??? That’s what I thought!
6. La policia – Look, if you don’t behave I’m going to call the police over and they are going to take you away.
Mas…Pocho Ocho scary things Latinos threaten their kids with
Sure was hot outside Stan Lee’s Comikaze Expo this weekend in Los Angeles. How hot was it? It was so hot even Superman needed to see the paletero man.
Happy Day of the Mexican Independence!
Is Tia Lencha here. Today we make a salsa that is the colors of the Mexican bandera (flag for you pochos).
Tia Lencha is all dress in her green, white, and red to celebrate El Grito, but all of her pocho and gringo friends is a little confuse. They are no in the streets today, wearing the big sombreros, fake bigotes (mustaches for you pochos), and drinking like pescados (fish for you pochos.)
This is the day for the Mexicans to celebrate 200 years free from Christopher Colombus and his amigos, and Indians turning on their own people, and diseases, and dying by the millions, and survive only to be treated like caca by the colonizers.
Thas a lot to celebrate if ju ask Tia Lencha.
Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito
Que busy ñewsweek!
Say hello to Angry Abuelas, pochos. The new iPhone 5 — code-named La Raza — is especially designed for Latinos.
Two videos broke the news: GOP presidential wannabe Mitt Romney wished he were a puro Latino and his campaign released a new Spanish-language ad aimed at “white Hispanics.”
In science ñews, cilantro haters breathed a sigh of relief as genetics proved it was not their fault and the new African monkey species looks familiar somehow.
Here are the links:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Romney? Ya No Más, I wish I were Latino; iPhone La Raza
A musical shoutout (and Hebrew/Spanish pun) to all our friends at Temple Beth Pocho who, at sundown tonight, are celebrating Rosh HaShanah, which marks 5773 years since the creation of the world. What is that on the Mayan Calendar?
(Tekiah? One of the traditional four blasts on the ram’s horn, or shofar, on the Jewish High Holy Days of Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur.)
Yessir. I got the link via email, and then later by text message. It was from this really hot chica — well at least her profile pic was hot. And she wanted to send me — ME — free nude photos!
(PNS reporting from PHOENIX) Arizona’s toughest sheriff, Joe Arpaio, might soon be known as Arizona’s fiercest sheriff. Arpaio is gearing up for what he expects will be the toughest of his five re-election campaigns and he is pulling out all the stops this time by revealing his alter ego, “KoKo.”
No stranger to controversy, Arpaio is facing a determined effort from immigration rights activists and the Justice Department to push him out of office but says that “KoKo” will give him the edge this time in fending off his enemies.
A ruling in a lawsuit that alleges his department violated the civil rights of Latinos is expected any day now but Arpaio says that he will weather the storm with “swag and style” the likes of which Maricopa County has never witnessed.
Mas…Sheriff Joe gears up for tough re-election battle, reveals secret weapon
Are you buying a new dress, ladies, perhaps a chingon chapeau? Inviting the family over for a Sonoran hot dog party? After all, National Hispanic Heritage Month 2012 starts on Saturday. Your special month is brought to you by the good folks at Tio Sam Dot Gov, the same people who thought “Hispanic” made sense on U.S. Census forms.
The Library of Congress, National Archives and Records Administration, National Endowment for the Humanities, National Gallery of Art, National Park Service, Smithsonian Institution and United States Holocaust Memorial Museum join in paying tribute to the generations of Hispanic Americans who have positively influenced and enriched our nation and society.
While we’re sure the gente in Washington are doing their very best, we have our own list of the pocho ocho “Hispanic” iconic items that should be in the Smithsonian:
Mas…Pocho Ocho ‘Hispanic Heritage’ items we want in the Smithsonian
A pocho and a gabacho’s fine bromance runs into a hitch when their time-honored dispute resolution process — the game of rock-paper-scissors — involves a girl. Wesley Rodriguez’ La Piedra, made this summer in a single day, was the winner of the University of Florida 24-Hour Film Festival.
From the You Can’t Make This Shit Up Department: Gov. Willard “Mitt” Romney, Republican candidate for Presidente of the United Estates, wishes things were a little different. Would he self-deport?
Thanks to LatinoRebels.com for the tip.
Johnny Perez, the original drummer for Tex-Mex superstar band Sir Douglas Quintet, died Tuesday in Los Angeles. He was 69. This 1965 video shows Perez and his bandmates performing their hit She’s About A Mover on NBC’s Hullaballoo.
Here’s the band with Mendocino:
Mas…RIP Johnny Perez, drummer for original Sir Douglas Quintet (videos)
POCHO has been following the campaign of Astronaut José Hernández (@Astro_Jose on Twitter) ever since GOP tools tried to block him from using the title “astronaut” in his quest to represent Northern California in Congress.
Mas…New ad: Astronaut José ‘@Astro_Jose’ Hernández for Congress (video)
Cilantro is a key ingredient in Mexican cooking. The herb flavors Thai and Indian and Middle Eastern food too. But some people just can’t stand it and insist it smells/tastes like soap and looks “green as old vomit.”
You people — it’s OK. You can come out of the comida closet now. You were born this way.
From Nature.com:
A genetic survey of nearly 30,000 people posted to the preprint server arXiv.org this week has identified two genetic variants linked to perception of coriander, the most common of which is in a gene involved in sensing smells. Two unpublished studies also link several other variants in genes involved in taste and smell to the preference.
Mas…Cilantro haters, come out of the closet! You were born this way
They’re here, they’re queer. Oh dear! 😉 (Potentially NSFW depending.)
The French have contributed a great deal to pocho culture, including some choice palabras. We got a few of them together for your review:
8. Mamón You might think it means “asshole,” but in French it sounds like “mother.” Don’t be a douche.
7. Chingadeaux It sounds fancy when you spell it in French, but in Spanish it’s an expletive.
6. Le Cuchí In French it means “smart woman.”
(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) Apple fanboys, Wall Street, tech geeks and Samsung engineers are eagerly awaiting Apple’s announcement of a new iPhone model today, and some inside sources are predicting a breakthrough product aimed at the growing Latino market.
The iPhone 5 — code-named iPhone La Raza — is said to include these new features:
He’s dangerous. He’s blue. He’s plush luchador Peligrozo Azul by artist Dennise Rodriguez and he had a very cool summer. Here are his photos.
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz joins an all-estrella Xican@ literary line-up at the Cypress Park Library Tuesday night Sept. 11 to read from ¡Ban This!, the anthology edited by POCHO contributor Santino J. Rivera.
An Evening of Mass Education starts at 5PM and features Alcaraz, Rivera, POCHO Subcommandanta del News Sara Inés Calderón, Gustavo Ask ¡A Mexican! Arellano, writer Gina Ruiz (we have her science fiction short story here) and many more.
The cool peeps at the library have lots more information on their blog. Look for live Tweets during the gig with hashtag #BanThis.
We’ll be streaming the evening here:
Mas…5PM Live Stream! Pochopalooza at Cypress Park Library: ¡Ban This!
The political conventions are finally over and the poll results are in: Latinos don’t really care.
How can this be!? The Democrats saw the GOP’s Rubio and raised them two Castros!
To help our political friends understand, here are the Pocho Ocho reasons Latino voters were not turned on by the conventions:
8. No piñatas crafted in the opponent’s likeness.
7. No sophisticated flamenco dance numbers performed by kindergarteners.
6. No midgets.
Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Latinos weren’t turned on by political conventions
As a small girl, I refused to speak Spanish with my mother.
She was born in Sonora, MX and grew up speaking nothing but Spanish so this must have frustrated her. Now, I think, wouldn’t it have been easier to just learn the language while I was small?
Thankfully, I finally realized the value of being bilingual in my teen years and made a commitment to become fluent in Spanish during high school.
I watched only Spanish TV and every summer my mom would drop me off in Hermosillo to be immersed in the culture and spend time with my cousins. It was a lot of fun, and it worked.
Now that I am a mom, I think I might have figured out why I refused my mother’s native language for so long. Just the other day, my daughter acted out in public over the absence of her sippy cup and the first words that came flowing out of my mouth were, “Mi hijita, no me grites. Espérate por favor.”
The situation caught my attention when everyone around us stopped what they were doing and looked at us, confused. That’s when I realized I raise my daughter in English but I discipline her in Spanish.
Mas…Why do I discipline my daughter – and dance – in Español?
Univision news anchor Maria Elena Salinas reflects on covering the attacks of September 11, 2001 and how that event affected the perception of immigrants in the U.S.
Mainstream media has finally awakened to the profit potential of pochismo, according to the prestigious Columbia Journalism Review:
Lalo Alcaraz [photo, right] has always embraced the word pocho. It refers to Mexican-Americans who have lost their Mexican culture and speak English, and it’s what relatives occasionally called Alcaraz when he was growing up in San Diego. He has leveraged it ever since. In the 1990s, Alcaraz and a friend founded POCHO Magazine, which led to pocho.com. Both projects used English when, for years, “Hispanic media” usually meant Spanish-language content. They satirized Latino issues and poked fun at biculturalism. “We had the National Pochismo Institute,” he says, “where we would send out a fake survey and ‘rate your pochismo.’ ” Currently, Alcaraz hosts a radio show called the “Pocho Hour of Power” on KPFK in Los Angeles.
