The United States faked a Moon landing 45 years ago today. FUSION Space Cadet Elise Roedenbeck reports. [Roedenbeck patrols several quadrants of the Twitterverse on the Federation Star Cruiser Buttronica.)
conspiracy
Dorito Danger: Mexican-style chips threaten our borders
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.
Like a Biblical prophet of doom, a God-fearing Christian Conservative who tracks “Degenerate Culture” is trumpeting the news of a clear and present danger:
Hot and spicy tortilla chips are destroying the AMERICA WE LOVE WHICH USED TO EAT LOTS OF PATRIOTIC POTATO CHIPS NOT THESE ADDICTIVE ALIEN ABOMINATIONS.
Derby Mac (An American Patriot who has dedicated his life to loving his country and preparing his family for the National Apocalypse. He would like to thank the Founding Fathers, President Reagan and Jesus Christ for the opportunity to share Wisdom) writes:
They’re dark. They’re spicy. They’re one of the most alluring treats in our food aisles today. For a child, they’re something fancy, like attending a birthday party in a collared shirt.
For a man home alone, a single bag is as good as an entire meal. But what are we really getting ourselves into with these flashy foreign snacks?
Should we be at all concerned that Doritos are now more popular than good old-fashioned American potato chips?
From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)
Hey! I took Russki in college. Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле means “corpse of a chupacabra [found] in Venezuela.”
Poor Venezuela. Ever since Commandante Hugo Chavez died, his chosen successor Nicolas Maduro has had to cope with a series of Yanqui plots that are screwing up the economy in his socialist paradise.
First came the toilet paper shortage which Maduro blamed on imperialist sabotage, although he later tried to paint it as an example of his economic successes, claiming Venezuelan shit production had reached record levels, thereby outstripping the papel hygenico supply.
Mas…From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)
Did Uncle Sam kill Tupac Shakur and Michael Jackson? (video)
Did the United States government kill Tupac Shakur and Michael Jackson as part of a plot to “control African-American youth through their music?” Former Defense Department operative Robert Connors says we’ll find out Monday next week! [Note: We tried to run a copy of this video earlier today but it was removed from LiveLeak just after we published our story at 7:30 AM. Please email editor@pocho.com if you see a ‘video no longer exists’ screen before we notice it. Gracias.]
9/11 ‘worst day ever’ for Alberto Qaeda of the Bronx
(PNS reporting from EL BRONX) Almost every adult American remembers where they were on Sept. 11, 2001, but few remember more vividly than Bronx janitor Alberto Qaeda.
“That was the first time I ever got my ass kicked. And the second time. And the third,” recalls Qaeda, who used to go by the more informal name of “Al.”
Qaeda (photo), who was 17 in 2001, was a student at City College of New York studying to be a cashier when the first plane crashed into the World Trade Center.
Pocho Ocho probable ways the CIA gave Hugo Chavez cancer
Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro (he may be the new president by the time you read this) has accused the United Estates of poisoning dead Hugo Chavez with special commie-killing cancer.
We talked to our sources in the intelligence community to compile the pocho ocho most likely ways the U.S. could have given Commissar Chavez the deadly disease:
8. Horsemeat — it’s what’s for dinner
7. Pinche high-fructose corn syrup
6. GMO salmon
Mas…Pocho Ocho probable ways the CIA gave Hugo Chavez cancer
Is the Vatican covering up space alien visitations? (video)
Pope Benedict XVI may have left the building, but investigators claim something is still rotten in Vatican City. They say the Roman Catholic Church is hiding evidence of extraterrestrial visitors — evidence that includes the remains of a dead ET buried beneath the Vatican.
Gangster Computer God Worldwide Secret Containment Policy (video)
Don’t say we didn’t tell you – especially the part about the brain bank cities on the dark side of the Moon! (NSFW language.)
Unmasked! Vatican-Jesuit conspiracy hides truth about aliens (video)
Whistleblower Leo Zagami‘s The Vatican’s UFO Agenda unmasks the shocking New World Order-Zionist-Nazi-Jesuit-Illuminati disinformation campaign to hide the presence of space aliens among us, a centuries-old effort designed to further their vast merchant-of-death world domination power grab.
And be careful what you tell your priest. After all, the so-called Sacrament of Confession is Job One in the Black Popes’ international intelligence-gathering apparatus.
Shocking Rush Limbaugh claim! President Obama is ‘The Darkie Knight’
(PNS reporting from DITTOSTAN) Just a day after revealing that The Dark Knight Rises villain ‘Bane’ is actually Mitt Romney, Rush Limbaugh has uncovered even more insidious left-wing propaganda in the eagerly-anticipated film:
The movie, Limbaugh told his radio audience, is part of the Kenyan Socialist media conspiracy and President Obama is “The Darkie Knight.”
“Friends, I am sitting here today in the EIB studio and I have to tell you, I am really, really, realllllly high. Have you guys seen this movie, what’s it called? Yeah, The Dark Knight? Wow…just wow…folks, it’s a real liberal whammy, OK? Uncle Rushbo is giving it to you straight here – I’ve seen the darkie knight and his name is Obama. Hang on a second, folks, I have to play with myself again,” Limbaugh said during yesterday’s program.
Mas…Shocking Rush Limbaugh claim! President Obama is ‘The Darkie Knight’
Video documents February UFO over Mexico City
What do you think of this video of a UFO buzzing Mexico City?
Shocking study links global warming and Latino immigration
(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) The warmer the U.S. gets, the more Latinos live here. That’s the controversial conclusion of a scientific study released Thursday by the Demographic Climatology Trend Institute at Maricopa County Community College.
“We don’t know if the warmer weather makes El Norte a more comfortable place to live for Mexicans used to desert living, you know, with the sombreros and cacti and burros, or that the number of brown people on our side of the border means more sunlight is getting absorbed and kicking up the thermometer,” said Assistant Professor of Ignorametry Joe “Junior” Arapaio.
Mas…Shocking study links global warming and Latino immigration
UFOHunter: This is the sound of the Mothership (NSFW)
Outer espace especial correspondent UFOHunter, the man behind ¡PutaNASA!, is back.
Building on his groundbreaking expose of the links between Mayan Doomsday 2012, gray aliens on the Moon and NASA UFO coverups, Orlando-based Hunter
- reveals shocking details about unearthly sounds heard all around the world
- admits he heard them too
- plays back the recordings for all the Internets to hear
Then he asks the obvious question: IS THIS THE SOUND OF THE MOTHERSHIP?
Not safe for work.