Tia Lencha’s Cocina: The Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

Animated-Flag-MexicoHappy Mexican Independence Day Weekend!

Is Tia Lencha here. Today we make a salsa that is the colors of the Mexican bandera (flag for you pochos).

Tia Lencha is all dress in her green, white, and red to celebrate El Grito, but all of her pocho and gringo friends is a little confuse. They are no in the streets today, wearing the big sombreros, fake bigotes (mustaches for you pochos), and drinking like pescados (fish for you pochos.)

September 16 is the day for the Mexicans to celebrate 200 years free from Christopher Colombus and his amigos, and Indians turning on their own people, and diseases, and dying by the millions, and survive only to be treated like caca by the colonizers.

Thas a lot to celebrate if ju ask Tia Lencha.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: The Mexican flag three-color salsa for El Grito

Dear gringa who wants to defend the Mexican food in New Jork

nyfoodscreencapI read jur article ^^^^ on the google about the Los Angeles Mexican food is not better than the New Jork food but different. Tia Lencha’s chonies are in a bunch. Is that how ju say? Ju don know what ju are talking about.

These are the reasons gwhy:

  1. In jur articulo, ju spend mos jur time talking about Los Angeles. That is because it has a long history of Mexican people live there. Even ju say that it used to be Mexico, tonta!
  2. Ju say the Yelpers jelp it, the media and the general peoples all say Los Angeles Mexican food is better. Thas a lot of peoples.
  3. “Get the fuck over it” and “blah, blah, blah” are no legitimate argumentations.

    Mas…Dear gringa who wants to defend the Mexican food in New Jork

Authentic tacos in Seoul, South Korea – and Nutella nachos (video)


Sweet and Tasty TV’s Professor Oh checks out the Mexican food at Vatos Urban Tacos in Seoul, South Korea. It’s puro L.A. fusion style – Korean kalbi beef tacos a la Kogi, pork carnitas and Baja-style fish tacos. Fresh guacamole and cool Coronas, too. Not to mention Nutella nachos.

PREVIOUSLY ON MEXICAN FOOD:

Mas…Authentic tacos in Seoul, South Korea – and Nutella nachos (video)

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Roasted red Chanukah Christmas Kwanzaa salsa

jarosalsaHola. Is Tia Lencha here.

Ju want to give presens to eberyone on your Chrismas list or Chanukah or Kwanzaa or Reyes Magos or Chinese Year but ju are short on dinero? No worry! Tia Lencha is going to give ju recipe for to make the oven roast red salsa!

Is nice! Is a good gift for the peoples! And is easy! No like making mole for Turkey Day.

I make this salsa to give to my comadres and the lob it. They have little hearts in their eyes when they see my salsa. They eat with almost eberything. They say they fight their childrens and viejos to eat the last drops of it in the jar. Is that good. Oso, it don’t matter if the peoples are no Mexican. The peoples at my job are no Mexican and they ask me for the salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Roasted red Chanukah Christmas Kwanzaa salsa

POCHO Estaff Reports: Mi casa? Real Thanksgiving turkeys!

lalocucashoppigPOCHO’s Especial Correspondents spread out across America to celebrate Thanksgiving and sent in notes about their day. Some names were changed to avoid unpredictable results.  Read their stories and share your own in the comments!

  • Homeboy in East Los: My family’s so Mexican we carved the turkey with a switchblade ·IN MEMORY of SMILEY·
  • Dateline, Austin: MEChA cousin Xochiloctl is in the living room refusing to eat turkey and playing Grand Theft Auto 5 instead.
  • Nancy in Santana, the O.C.: That awkward moment when three-year-old Cousin Ricardo makes a big announcement that everybody better finish their plates because Mommy spent the whole day cooking the dog.

    Mas…POCHO Estaff Reports: Mi casa? Real Thanksgiving turkeys!

Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving feast

firstturkey900See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago?

We’ve got eight things right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date

7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly

6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Naco Bell

Mas…Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving feast

¡Japi Januka! A kosher carnitas y nopales burrito inside a donut (video)


The signature foods of Chanukah, which begins tonight, are potato latkes — as prepared by Hebrew homeboys Jaquann and Luis — and sufganiyot, Israeli-style donuts. Both foods, tu sabes, are fried in oil, commemorating the milagro at the heart of the Chanukah story.

Which is why, two years ago, before we thought of Mexican Turducken-style gag dishes we could attribute to Rick Bayless, Mexikosher chef (and Chopped winner) Katsuji Tanabe created a nopales and kosher carnitas burrito stuffed inside a donut/sufganiyot. Really.

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

turkeymole640Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. I was closed like the gobernment. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.

Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.

In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

There’s a map for that: Best foods in every state (infographic)

bigfoodmap Here’s an idea. Let’s decide what is the best food in each of the United Estates and make a big infographic.

What? Is that the voice of (Day of the) Dead Steve Jobs? What’s that, Steve? There’s a map for that?

Coming in at Numero Tres is a puro Califas burrito, known to non-locals as a “Misson Burrito.” Yes, I’m on a mission — I want a carne asada burrito ahorita:

burrito

New Mexico gets in the Top Ten with a stacked enchilada with green (Hatch, natch) chile:

Mas…There’s a map for that: Best foods in every state (infographic)

Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

7upbaby640(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Black coffee, menudo, In-N-Out, mota, maybe even a little hair of the dog — all common hangover remedies, right? But according to a study from Mexican culinary genius Rick Bayless, a new discovery might have them all beat: 7-Up.

“People have helplessly suffered hangovers forever and without any kind of cure. Well, I have discovered the single greatest hangover cure of all-time and can back it up with scientific evidence. No one has ever thought of this before…it’s 7-Up, my friends. You’re welcome!” Bayless told PNS.

Mas…Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

Latvian TV goes local in Jalisco to learn to make horchata (video)

  • This is what we figured out from the video and subtitles so far: A food program (and travel show?) from Latvian National TV called Cult Food visits Ajijic in Jalisco, MX (they call it Meksika) to learn from the locals how to make horchata. In Ajijic, the recipe includes condensed milk; Latvian TV host guy Martins Sirmais thinks it is quite delicious.
  • What we still don’t know: WTF? Horchata is big in Latvia?