ice
Texas Governor Perry ‘outraged’ at deportation center photos
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Texas Governor Rick Perry was “outraged” after seeing leaked photos of crowded child detainees at the U.S. Border Patrol Detention center in Brownsville, PNS has learned.
“The kind of sloppy detention seen in those photos is a clear waste of space as well as taxpayer dollars,” Perry said in an email sent to aides Monday night.
Perry thinks the centers could squeeze in more detainees using the “tight pack” system long advocated by GOP lobbyist John E. Rebb.
Mas…Texas Governor Perry ‘outraged’ at deportation center photos
American Paletero Association calls Polar Vortex ‘a hoax’
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) The “so-called Polar Vortex is a hoax” according to a statement just released here by the American Paletero Association (APA.)
“It’s always paleta weather,” the statement said. “Listen to APA: It’s never too cold for ICE.”
“Also,” APA warned, “don’t eat the yellow raspa.”
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Shocking live video: ICE busts motorist for ‘Driving While Canadian’
They’re on guard all across Los Angeles — the dedicated officers of L.A. Illegal Canadian Enforcement (LA-ICE) — keeping us safe from the border-crashing Canuckians hordes of the Great White North. In this episode, the LA-ICE team investigates a motorist suspected of Driving While Canadian.
Have a chill 2014! (video)
Have a chill 2014, and and may the only ICE you encounter be the ice in your adult beverages.
PREVIOUSLY ON ICE:
California immigrants hail Jerry Brown’s veto of jury duty bill
(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) Gov. Jerry Brown vetoed legislation Monday that would have made California the first state in the nation to allow legal immigrants who are not citizens to serve on juries.
The governor has recently approved bills expanding the rights of immigrants, including legislation allowing those in the country without documents to apply for driver’s licenses and practice law. Democrat Brown said serving on a jury, however, was a civic duty that should be exclusive to citizens.
Ronaldo Santa Flojeraz (photo), 36, a client of the of Los Angeles Immigrant Rights Labor Center, welcomed Brown’s decision. “Thank you, Governor Brown, for vetoing that bill,” he told PNS. “I was not looking forward to having to avoid the jury duty summons mailers sent by the local courts. I got better things to do.”
Mas…California immigrants hail Jerry Brown’s veto of jury duty bill
Rebel Diaz: ‘I’m An Alien’ [music video]
From Chicago to the Bronx, Rebel Diaz makes music that fights racism and celebrates indigenous people. Is there something familiar about this song’s chorus? I’m An Alien includes a sample from Sting’s Englishman in New York.
- PREVIOUSLY ON NEW JACK CITY:
Quetzal wants to make sure you watch out for the ‘MIGRA’ (video)
Latinopia writes:
Quetzal is an East Los Angeles Chican@ band whose music reflects the social, political and cultural struggles of Latinos in the United States and Latin America. Founded in 1994 by Quetzal Flores, the group won a Grammy for their album Imaginaries in 2013. They performed their original song, “Migra,” about the plight of Mexican immigrants crossing into the United States to seek a better life, at the Levitt Pavilion in Pasadena’s Memorial Park on August 14, 2013. The lead singer of the group is Martha Gonzalez. This video was produced, is owned an copyrighted by Barrio Dog Productions, Inc. and is posted on vimeo and Latinopia.com by permission.
Moses y Jesús team up in ‘Prophetic Fight for Immigrant Rights’ (video)
When Moses attracts the attention of the MIGRA, he seeks out his amigo Jesús for some help. Can this Holy Tag Team come up with a miracle to defeat the haters? [Written and produced by: Josh Healey. Directed by: Yvan Iturriaga. Starring: Corey Fischer (Moses), Richard Montoya (Jesús), and Jeri Lynn Cohen (Zippy). Produced by: Favianna Rodriguez. Executive Produced by: Culture Strike.]
POCHO Jefe Lalo Alcaraz Yelps about the border on NPR (audio)
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A few weeks ago we featured some astounding videos of actors’ (dramatic) readings of Yelp customer reviews — customer reviews of US-Mexico border crossings.
NPR’s Latino USA with Maria Hinjosa snagged Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz last week to find out if he had anything to add to the discussion.
Listen here to learn if he did! 😉
Mas…POCHO Jefe Lalo Alcaraz Yelps about the border on NPR (audio)
La Santa Cecilia: ‘El Hielo (ICE)’ is loose on the streets (music video)
East Los band La Santa Cecilia is out with a new song and video about la MIGRA, AKA ICE AKA Immigration and Customs Enforcement AKA El Hielo. Here are the lyrics in English and Spanish courtesy NotOneMoreDeportation.com:
Mas…La Santa Cecilia: ‘El Hielo (ICE)’ is loose on the streets (music video)
PNS*Hot*Flash: Sequestration Proclamation frees the ‘Pedroes’
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) President Barack Obama today issued a “Sequestration Proclamation,” which authorizes the freeing of an additional 300 undocumented immigrants from detention centers around the country in advance of looming budget cuts.
While Republicans claimed the freeing of these so-called “Pedroes” would lead to the total collapse of the U.S. economy, the only immediate impact has been the creation of 900 new jobs.
Obama is being hailed as “The Great Sequestrator” by Latinos around the country, and Obama-themed corridos are already staples on Mexican radio.
Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Sequestration Proclamation frees the ‘Pedroes’
Sequester-released immigrants head to D.C. to fix the budget
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Scores of immigrants released due to sequester-forced budget cuts are headed to the nation’s capital to fill gaps in the labor pool, PNS has learned.
Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) began releasing low priority immigrants from detention centers in New Jersey, Louisiana, California, Texas and Florida earlier this week.
After the immigrants were released, PNS got reports that congressional staffers were driving past detention centers trying to pick up the immigrants for jobs in Washington.
“Immigrants are, once again, doing the job that no one else can do: balancing the budget,” said Manuel Padilla, who was released from a detention center in New Jersey Monday. “About 40 of us came from Jersey, in the back of three pickups!”
Mas…Sequester-released immigrants head to D.C. to fix the budget
New how-to video from MigraDate.com: ‘Immigration Flirtation’
Is that a green card in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Son of immigrants takes the oath to become a ‘Pinche Migra’
(PNS reporting from EL PASO) The smell of grilled cebollas greeted visitors to a carne asada party in the back yard of the Lopez home in El Paso’s lower valley Saturday evening, as the family celebrated the graduation of the Lopez family’s prodigal son as a “Pinche Migra.”
José “Johnny” Marrufo completed the 58-day course at the United States Customs and Border Protection’s Border Patrol Academy located in Artesia, NM in July.
He graduated as a Border Patrol Agent and is now ready to detain his Mexican brethren.
“I feel happy that I will protect our border from terrorists and criminal aliens, some of whom are my relatives” the former Riverside High School third baseman told PNS.
Mas…Son of immigrants takes the oath to become a ‘Pinche Migra’
Uncle Sam on lookout for oldsters trying to pass as DREAMers
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Older undocumented immigrants have been trying to pass as youngsters so they can qualify for the Obama Administration’s new Deferred Action program, PNS has learned.
On Thursday, several elderly immigrants were hustled out in the Denver, CO immigration office trying to fake the required cutoff age of 30.
ICE reported that they found one viejito, known only as “Chavo,” hiding inside a barrel and dressed in in a striped shirt, red suspenders, brown khaki shorts and a propeller hat. ICE told PNS that the man was malnourished and kept asking for ham sandwiches.
Mas…Uncle Sam on lookout for oldsters trying to pass as DREAMers
Contractor and Latino day laborer become BFFs in ‘The Tool’ (video)
A seemingly-friendly contractor hires a migrant laborer for a house painting job but their relationship soon gets complicated. Will their man crush outlast the law?
On the border, in the desert, nobody expects the ‘Zombie Migra’ (video)
They journeyed hundreds of miles to make a new life in a new land. They crossed borders, forded rivers and walked in the burning heat. But nobody expected the Zombie Migra!
ICE unveils first-ever resort-style hotel for immigrant detainees
(PNS reporting from DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEJAS) U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) is opening what they call the first-ever “resort-style hotel” for immigrant detainees.
Critics are calling the new Karnes County (TX) Civil Detention Center a “prison for profit” but ICE is marketing it as a migrant “destination” with “vast amenities” that will keep immigrant detainees coming back for more.
Mas…ICE unveils first-ever resort-style hotel for immigrant detainees
Operation Wet Parachute: U.S. to drop Mexican deportees from planes
(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) In an effort to “adapt to current budget realities,” the Federales of Los United Estates will begin flying deported immigrants back to Mexico and dropping them from airplanes over their home states.
This plan, dubbed Operation Wet Parachute, is the brainchild of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano who said yesterday she got the idea while making margaritas and watching the film Point Break.
Mas…Operation Wet Parachute: U.S. to drop Mexican deportees from planes
Badges? Badges? Steenkin’ badges you don’t need IRL!
“We don’t need no steenkin’ badges,” actor Alfonso Bedoya told Humphrey Bogart in The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. Well, sorta. Although his line is one of the most-often quoted and parodied lines of cinema dialog, almost everyone has it wrong.
Click to peep some badges you definitely don’t need to see In Real Life.
Dear undocumented immigrants: You suck at freeloading
I hate undocumented immigrants. I spent most of the holidays on my roof, throwing used cell phones and rusty nine-volt batteries at my undocumented family members as they arrived for festive gatherings. (Tía Lupe should be out of the hospital any day now, and you better believe that ICE will be waiting to cart her away from her children.)
My hatred for the undocumented is normally on a controlled boil. However, after viewing the Racist White Ladies video, my hatred steamed up.
These classy and thoughtful young ladies made me realize that there is much more to hate about undocumented immigrants, especially the fact that they’re always walking around carrying burritos lecherously. Zing! You really nailed them on that one ladies.
How stupid are undocumented immigrants? Well, they can’t even freeload properly!
Obama immigration officials run out of immigrants to deport, switch to deporting American citizens
In a curious move, the Barack Obama White House is campaigning tirelessly for the Latino re-election vote while also deporting a record number of undocumented immigrants.
In a mad dash to burnish their law-and-order credentials, Obama officials have deported over a million undocumented immigrants during the past 2 1/2 years and are on track to out-deport the two-term Bush administration’s 1.57 million. In fact, they have deported so many undocumented immigrants they may have depleted the supply.
They have turned to an American resource to fill the void: deporting U.S. citizens. The instances are numerous, and growing: