recipe

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Thanksgiving turkey al pastor tacos

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lenchatacosHappy Mexican Thanksgiving Day!

Is Tia Lencha here. Gwhat is Mexican Thanksgiving Day you ask? Is Thanksgiving but with all Mexican food. What?!?! My gringo frends say. Oh no! How you can do that! Is crazy! And Tia Lencha say, no really.

When I help mijo with his homeworks, I learn that Thanksgiving come from a Puritan holiday in Englands. When it was the Reformation the Protestantes wanted to throw away all the Catholic holidays, even Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Thanksgiving turkey al pastor tacos

When life hands you a blob of masa, make tamales!

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tamaleexpert

When I arrived at Northgate Gonzalez market and was immediately handed a free apron that read I ❤️ Tamales and several blobs of uncooked masa, I knew immediately I had made the right decision for a Friday night.

Even my mother, who invited herself along after her favorite novela was cancelled due to soccer, looked grudgingly impressed. She’d spent the entire ride complaining  she did not need tamales-cooking classes because she was a world-class tamales expert.

Let me be clear: In all the years I’ve been alive, my mother has never produced a single tamal.

Instead, she criticizes everyone else’s tamales.

Mas…When life hands you a blob of masa, make tamales!

No justice, no peas? Eight excellent ways to rock the guac

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timesguac

  1. Go for it! Actually try that loco New York Times pea guacamole recipe that has been dividing the nation. Worst case scenario, it’s guácala but you can call your mama and brag to her that you ate an entire vegetable. Maybe she’ll make you some real guacamole as a reward!
  2. Got a fierce sweet tooth? Scandalize everyone by making this dessert guacamole with lots and lots of chocolate!
  3. Impress your Filipino friends by making this sabroso avocado milkshake with condensed milk. (Tell the metiches that ask you what it is that it’s full of nopales!)
  4. Just go ahead and throw everything in your ethnic identity in a bowl with this Chorizo-Queso Fresco-Guacamole!!

    Mas…No justice, no peas? Eight excellent ways to rock the guac

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: On Father’s Day I think about my ex’s chorizo

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leavingman

Hola. Is Tia Lencha here.

After many jears of being divorce from mijo’s daddy, (that’s a photo of him leaving I took for the lawyer), I share with ju the recipe I make for the Father’s Day, which is on Sunday. When I think of mijo’s daddy, I think of chorizo.

Oso, when I see a good looking chorizo at the store, I think of mijo’s daddy. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos. Is because mijo’s daddy make really good chorizo!

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: On Father’s Day I think about my ex’s chorizo

Scientist’s quest to reproduce abuela’s mole recipe ends in failure

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foodscientistabuela(PNS reporting from RIVERSIDE) After a decade-long quest to duplicate his Oaxacan abuela’s mole poblano recipe, UC Riverside food scientist Miguel Jimenez, 33, declared defeat Sunday.

Microbiologist Jimenez had hoped to identify the ingredients in the mysterious chocolate chile sauce his abuela puts on chicken.

“She won’t give anyone the recipe!” said Jimenez, as he kicked his chair and wiped away tears at UCR’s Chucheria Research Facility. “Abuelita just pinches my cheek and tells me to portarme bien and go to church more.”

Mas…Scientist’s quest to reproduce abuela’s mole recipe ends in failure

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Fruity Virgin Micheladas for Cinco de Mayo

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tiacincoHola! Is Tia Lencha here.

I going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo — next week. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos!

I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. I think to myself, what if he like it? Will he want to drink beers? I don’t want him to be like mijo’s daddy who drink beers and fall asleep in the tub with his chonies wet with his own pee pee (thas urine for ju pochos). So I make mijo a drink, one that is virgin, and he taste it and he like it, and I taste it and I like it.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Fruity Virgin Micheladas for Cinco de Mayo

Chef Lindsay: How do you make fried kee-so tacos at El Cortez?

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They look scrumptious — especially the cheese that she crisps on the grill at El Cortez — but please, Chef Lindsay Porter, it’s kay-so, not kee-so! To be fair, El Cortez is in Edmonton, Alberta, Canadia, where they call their dollars “Loonies.” PRO TIP: Cortez is NOT a Mexican hero, unless you mean the Nike Cortez.

Mas…Chef Lindsay: How do you make fried kee-so tacos at El Cortez?

How does Wahaca in London make those authentic ‘steak’ tacos? (video)

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tommiemiersLast week we featured a video visit to three of London’s top taquerias — including Wahaca in Covent Garden — and today we return to Ye Merrye Olde Mother Countrye to meet the chef who spells “Oaxaca” her own especial guey.

Thomasina “Tommi” Miers is the founder of England’s Wahaca Mexican restaurant chain and she knows exactly wa the hac she’s doing as she whips up carne asada (aka “Mexican steak”) tacos, a firme fresh salsa and charred cebollitas. Her recipe, she boasts, is “a real corker” and when she says “taco” it rhymes with “tobacco.”

Mas…How does Wahaca in London make those authentic ‘steak’ tacos? (video)

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: My Hot Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

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salsainabowlI’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha. Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.

M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.

M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: My Hot Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Roasted Red Hanukkah Christmas Kwanzaa Salsa

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jarosalsaHola. Is Tia Lencha here.

Ju want to give presens to eberyone on your Chrismas list or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Reyes Magos or Chinese Year but ju are short on dinero? No worry! Tia Lencha is going to give ju recipe for to make the oven roast red salsa!

Is nice! Is a good gift for the peoples! And is easy! No like making mole for Turkey Day.

I make this salsa to give to my comadres and the lob it. They have little hearts in their eyes when they see my salsa. They eat with almost eberything. They say they fight their childrens and viejos to eat the last drops of it in the jar. Is that good. Oso, it don’t matter if the peoples are no Mexican. The peoples at my job are no Mexican and they ask me for the salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Roasted Red Hanukkah Christmas Kwanzaa Salsa

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey

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turkeymole640Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.

Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.

In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey