doomsday


An 8½” 20RPM disc containing this 11-minute recording was found on the elevator at 205 W. 57th St. in New York City on Feb. 11, 1969 by the composer Clark Gesner. [Mas…]

It was the first of days, it was the last of days, it was Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012, The End of the World As We Know It. Or was it?

The beginning of the end, the middle of the end and the end itself dominated the ñews on POCHO this week.

Here are the week’s top stories:

Denial is not only a river in Egypt but also an official policy of the Chinese Communist Party as the police state’s police arrested dozens for trying to warn the captive population about the Mayan Apocalypse Friday. [Be sure to synchronize your chronometers for The End of the World As We Know It with the OFFICIAL POCHO MAYAN DOOMSDAY countdown clock in the right column of this page.]

These brave “counter-revolutionaries” and “enemies of the people” are behind bars because they dared to tell to truth to billions of clueless Chinos. [Mas…]

Every day brings us closer to the End of the World as We Know It on December 21 (synchronize your chronometers with our MAYAN APOCALYPSE DOOMSDAY COUNTDOWN CLOCK in the right column.)

All over the Internets, extremely concerned Trekkies are banding together to wear “expendable red” jerseys on The Last Day, so they can “die as Mr. Gene Rodenberry intended.”

And policia stationed near San Luis, AZ found a freshly-plowed field on the American side of the Colorado River scarred by craters and dotted with payloads of Mayan Marijuana apparently shot by cannabis cannoneers using a pneumatic cannon.

Pneumatic cannon? Federales found an empty industrial-sized CO2 canister, presumably propellant, in their hood. [Mas…]

Yes, your Uncle Sam wastes your tax money on blogs while millions suffer and our country lurches toward the fiscal cliff. And Tio Sam says no Mayan Apocalypse for you, despite the obvious DOOMSDAY 2012 COUNTDOWN CLOCK in the right column of EVERY PAGE ON POCHO which says we only have two weeks left!

Ignoring hundreds of thousands of blog posts, websites, videos, prophecies and Tweets, Big Government wants to tell you what “scientists” think. These are the same “people” who think they know better than Hispanic Sen. Marco “Pollo” Rubio the age of the Earth. (It’s 6000 years, but who’s counting?)

Why are they doing this? “For the children!” )*&^%#

Here’s Monday’s official posting, from Blog.USA.gov:

Scary Rumors about the World Ending in 2012 Are Just Rumors

False rumors about the end of the world in 2012 have been commonplace on the Internet for some time. Many of these rumors involve the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 (it won’t), a comet causing catastrophic effects (definitely not), a hidden planet sneaking up and colliding with us (no and no), and many others. [Mas…]

Mayan Apocalypse, solar flares (video), Chinese man builds ‘ark’

by JERRY MAYA November 29, 2012 Doomsday Countdown
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It’s coming — the End of the World As We Know it is just three weeks away — December 21 [CHECK OUR EXCLUSIVE MAYAN APOCALYPSE DOOMSDAY 2012 COUNTDOWN TIMER IN THE RIGHT COLUMN AND SYNCHRONIZE YOUR DEVICES.] From the video: The sun has been totally erupting with massive solar flares, dude, because the Earth and […]

[Mas…]

Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012: Volcanoes and tsunamis (video)

by Moctezuma Cortés October 2, 2012 Cultura
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In an age when books have trailers, some trailers float higher in the flotsam and jetsam of mass-market, dead-tree publishing, especially when they graphically portray the destructive American volcanos and Atlantic tsunamis that will rock your world on Dec. 21. [See POCHO’s Mexclusive Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 Countdown Clock in the right column of this […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho must-have Mayan Apocalypse survival kit items

by Especial Correspondents September 28, 2012 Cultura
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With Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 under three months away, time is running out to assemble the emergency survival supplies you’ll need in your underground shelter. [Check our countdown clock in the right column.] Remember: Unforeseen dangers and unknown entities will be lurking in your No-Tech Future Hell on Earth (think Mad Max meets the chupacabra), […]

[Mas…]

Dreaded ‘Chicken of the Apocalypse’ spotted in the Yucatan

by Victor Payan September 21, 2012 Doomsday Countdown
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It is no coincidence that this freak formation of flamingos roosting in the shape of a giant chicken took place in the Yucatan, the very heart of the Mayan Apocalypse.

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Scientists desecrate Mayan tomb of Chak, King of El Zotz (video)

by INDIANO JUANES July 24, 2012 Cultura
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The desecration of Mayan heritage sites by so-called scientists continues in Guatemala, and the invaders just released a video to trumpet their “rediscovery” of the ancient Mayan Temple of the Night Sun near the town of El Zotz. The interlopers will rediscover their fight or flight reactions on December 21 when they come face-to-face with […]

[Mas…]

Pocho Ocho fascinating hidden powers of Latino food!

by Elise Valderrama June 25, 2012 Cultura
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Previously on POCHO: Medical Menudo legalized in Connecticut Fast fun and easy aphrodisiac salsa Pocho Ocho reasons Mexican food is good for you But is that the end of the fascinating food factorama? No guey! Check out these eight other hidden powers of Comida Latina: 8. You can use beans to power a moped 7. Vegetarianism is […]

[Mas…]

Mayan Apocalypse 2012: Meet the word’s first burrito-making robot

by Jefe Boyardee June 13, 2012 Cultura
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Yes, we know the TacoCopter, the food-delivering unmanned aerial vehicle, was a gosh darn internet hoax, but this new Burritob0t with a web page and tech specs and photos filled with truthiness is the real thing. We swear! TechCrunch reports: So this guy at NYU made something special. Are you listening? Put down your phone. Listen. […]

[Mas…]

Opinion: We must fight the anti-Mayan Calendar Illuminati 1% (video)

by JUNIOR WENCES Ph.D. May 14, 2012 Doomsday Countdown
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We might not know anything about them, but Anonymous knows almost everything about us, including stuff THE MAN doesn’t want YOU to know. The modishly-masked online crusaders will soon shock our chakras with the truth about apocalyptic confluences predicted by the Mayan Calendar and aether-entities from outer espace. Predictably, the Mainstream Media New World Order […]

[Mas…]

Only 1 in 7 believe in impending Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012

by APU CALYPSO May 8, 2012 Doomsday Countdown
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Only 1 in 7 people has faced up to the fact that the world will end soon and maybe in December, according to a new poll released by Reuters. “Whether they think it will come to an end through the hands of God, or a natural disaster or a political event, whatever the reason, one […]

[Mas…]

Share with your parents: UFO Mayan secrets, ancient aliens revealed

by Comic Saenz April 21, 2012 Cultura
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This video comes directly from TrueReality.org so you know it’s right: Irrefutable Evidence of ExtraTerrestrial Contact carved in Stone Thousands of Years ago on Pre-Mayans site. We shall finally change our History’s Books and let humanity knows our True Origins. The World is wakening up! Share the video with your parents and let everyone discuss […]

[Mas…]

Video: Strange noises terrify TX and OK, Popocatepetl rumbling

by NALGA HYDE April 17, 2012 Cultura
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Every day brings us closer to Mayan Doomsday — Mother Earth will not rest. Terrified reports of strange, unearthly noises have moved from the Upper Midwest and Canada to the Southwest, scaring the crap out of people in Amarillo, TX and rural Rogers County, OK. South of the border, Mexican authorities just raised the alert level at […]

[Mas…]

Disinformation Company: Doomsday 2012 Science or Superstition?

by SERIOUS DOGSTAR April 7, 2012 Cultura
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Yo what is up with all this Mayan Doomsday 2012 stuff? We need some disinformation and we need it now, and that’s why we turned to the Disinformation Company for this video. Like check it: Disinformation Company producer Gary Baddeley, director Nimrod Erez and the Disinformation team contacted and arranged interviews with multiple experts, often […]

[Mas…]

SCHWA the Video: Dear ‘Stick People’ – Your Alien Overlords are here

by THE KRELL February 25, 2012 Cartoons
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Before X Files claimed “the truth is out there,” before anyone heard of the Mayan Apocalypse, visionary Bill Barker raised the alarm, warning the few who would listen about the real illegal immigration threat – the imminent invasion of Gray Aliens from Outer Espace. For a while, anyhow. Then he went over to Their Side. […]

[Mas…]

Satan speaks: Santorum, the election and Mayan Doomsday

by Santino J. Rivera February 23, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from HELL) GOP Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is making no attempt to distance himself from his inflammatory 2008 remarks accusing Satan of “attacking America” but Satan responded Wednesday,  claiming that Santorum is in for a “big surprise.” Pocho Ñews Service sent especial correspondent S. J. Rivera  deep into Hades to interview the Prince of […]

[Mas…]

Mayan Doomsday experts can’t agree on how long is left

by Barney Asada February 18, 2012 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from the YUCATAN) The emergency Leap Year meeting of the Eschatological Chronology Society ended in disarray here Thursday as doomsday gurus couldn’t agree on whether the Mayan Apocalypse should be calculated in Colored People’s Time, Chicano Time or Jewish Standard Time. Scientists at the conference were hoping to resolve the question before Leap […]

[Mas…]

UFOHunter: This is the sound of the Mothership (NSFW)

by Comic Saenz January 24, 2012 Doomsday Countdown
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Outer espace especial correspondent UFOHunter, the man behind ¡PutaNASA!, is back. Building on his groundbreaking expose of the links between Mayan Doomsday 2012, gray aliens on the Moon and NASA UFO coverups, Orlando-based Hunter reveals shocking details about unearthly sounds heard all around the world admits he heard them too plays back  the  recordings for […]

[Mas…]

Week in Ñews: @MexicanMitt, bishop with kids, racist white ladies, immigrants suck

by Comic Saenz January 15, 2012 El Now
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It was a big week for big news here at POCHO, where the big estory was our Mexclusive interview with new Twitter sensation @MexicanMitt, who told Pocho Ñews Service PNS “I’m in it to guin it!” We also released the voicemail Catholic Bishop Gabino Zavala left when he told his boss the Archbishop about his […]

[Mas…]

Commie Mayan Queen of Hearts: The caption contest!*

by Comic Saenz January 13, 2012 Cartoons
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The back story is that when Soviet linguist Yuri Knorozov deciphered the classic Mayan glyphs in 1952, a mini Mayan craze swept Red artistic circles. Propaganda subtext? Your code is not safe, comrade. A deck of playing cards was the result. Meet the Queen of Hearts, a lovely Д is for “dama” (dame or Дама) […]

[Mas…]