Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

Ring In the Oldies: ‘Happy New Year Baby,’ ‘Sabor A Mi’ (music videos)

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It’s 1965 and big hair and girl groups are all the rage.

In East L.A., sisters Rosella, Ersi and Mary Arvizu, who had been singing and playing music together all their lives, thought they had the right stuff to be the next Supremes — even before there were Supremes. They called themselves The Sisters.

Mas…Ring In the Oldies: ‘Happy New Year Baby,’ ‘Sabor A Mi’ (music videos)

Local Latina activist tearfully faces reality: ‘I can’t save the world’

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(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Vanessa “Coyolxauhqui” García (photo, right) underwent a nervous breakdown at the Boyle Heights Community Development Council’s final 2012 meeting Wednesday night.

After several snotty tissues, García faced up to the vast distance between her dreams and reality.

“I can’t save the world! I can barely save myself!” she cried, wiping her tears on the sleeve of the Mexican peasant blouse she bought on her second trip to Chiapas in ’97.

“I’m, like, trying here. I just want to give back to my community, but it’s hard, you know? Not everyone is as dedicated to la causa as I am.”

Mas…Local Latina activist tearfully faces reality: ‘I can’t save the world’

Say goodbye to 2012, ‘The Year of the Chancla’ in Mayan Calendar

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Overlooked in the Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday frenzy: December 21 was also the end of the Year of the Chancla, one of nine named years in the Mayan calendar. Here are the pocho ocho other next named years:

2013: Year of the Nopal
2014: Year of the Pendleton
2015: Year of the Nalgas
2016: Year of the Chonies

Mas…Say goodbye to 2012, ‘The Year of the Chancla’ in Mayan Calendar

It’s aliens and the kids from Lugar High vs Evil Don Nabisco (video)

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The crew at Lugar High (in Lugar Heights) gets a visit from space aliens who, like all space aliens, want to empower Latinos. The Lugar kids’ mission, should they decide to accept it: Confront the evil Don Nabisco, host of a wildly-popular TV show. Look for special guest star cameos by Che Guevara and Sammy Sosa.

Tia Lencha’s holiday survival secrets for Mexicans in New York City

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Is Tia Lencha here! Feliz Navidad!

So people ask me, Tia Lencha do you have recipes for Christmas? Not really, I say. Instead I have some Secretos for celebrating the Navidad in New York City. There are no mucho Mexicans here so you have to be esmart about it so you don’t have the stress. And you need to have a Metro Card.

First, the are too many mucho peoples out chopping for presents. Tia Lencha don’t like standing in line for an hour to buy a sweater.

Thas why I use more time to buy my mijo his presents, I give to him on January 6, the day of the Tres Reyes (three kings for you pochos.) Mijo writes a letter to the three kings to tell them what he wants for his present. Instead of leaving cookies for Santa Claus, mijo leaves some grass in his shoe box under the bed for the camels of the three kings to eat. Then his present is put in the box with the grass for the camels. Like magic no?

Mas…Tia Lencha’s holiday survival secrets for Mexicans in New York City

Lord Buckley’s ‘Scrooge, a hip Christmas carol’ from 1959 (video)

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It’s 1959 and hepcat supreme Lord Buckley is on fire: “Yes, me, I’m Scrooge and I got all Marley’s barley, and I’m the baddest cat in all dis world. I been studyin’ all my life how to Scrooge people, and I guarantee I done some fine work in dat direction. Cratchit!”

“Yes, sir.”

“You busy?”

“I shorely is, sir.”

“See dat you keep busy. Don’t want no danglin’ wanglin’ around here. Keep everybody tight. And tell dem two cats come in here want to get some money I ain’t givin’ no money away. Dey messin’ wit Scrooge. I’m takin’ it in. I ain’t puttin’ it out. Issat clear?”

Darlene Love: ‘Christmas for the Jews’

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Rock ‘n’ roll diva Darlene Love explains: All the goyyim disappear to gather round the fire but out on the town, and in Chinese restaurants, it’s Christmas for the Jews!

 

Can you donate $5 or $10 so we can make more ñews y satire?
MR. POCHO SAYS ¡GRACIAS!

  

Newtown, Quentin Tarantino and the culture of death

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Like many people, I’ve spent these past few days reflecting on what’s wrong. What the hell is going on? People are expressing so-called shock and awe at the recent violence in Connecticut but no one has any answers. Some would call it soul-searching, others grasping for straws. Others still are trying to squeeze as much blood from this stone as they can before it passes into obscurity, which it eventually will…

One thing that I know for sure is that the violence epidemic in the United States of America is not attributed to any one thing. We have been on this road for a long time now and anyone shocked by the fruit that the blood-soaked soil has produced has not been paying attention. Welcome to the culture of death.

Mas…Newtown, Quentin Tarantino and the culture of death

Hypochondriac uncle discovers amazing Internet cure — cactus juice

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(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDITA) Arturo Marengo has discovered the secret to youth, longevity, perfect health and fitness, again.

After spending last Wednesday on WebonMD trying to diagnose the dull ache in his left index finger, Marengo stumbled across an ad for Nopalea Cactus Juice and Health Supplement.

Though in his mid 30s, Marengo, a performance artist/travel agent/dog walker, suffers from multiple health issues including a sharp pain in his knee, a strange tingle behind his right ear, a constant cramp in left big toe, and a burning feeling in his left eye (Marengo suspects the eye burning is related to his toe cramp).

Mas…Hypochondriac uncle discovers amazing Internet cure — cactus juice

When ‘The Hobbit’ took back Aztlán: A Latino nerd reads Tolkien

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Today the names Smaug and Thorin Oakenshield will enter American pop culture. Dwarves rambling on a reconquista while Gollum plays riddles will reach a new audience because Peter Jackson filmed the nerd classic, The Hobbit — prequel to Lord of the Rings.

Film has more impact than the written word in today’s society and this version will reach a greater number of people than J.R.R. Tolkien’s book ever will. I am overjoyed that this classic will reach a greater number of gente, but I am filled with sadness that a child’s first encounter with The Hobbit will be in a loud theater instead of a quiet library.

Regardless, I look forward seeing my mental images from the book acted out in the big screen. And remembering the hours reading the book, which played a monumental role in my becoming Eres Nerd.

Mas…When ‘The Hobbit’ took back Aztlán: A Latino nerd reads Tolkien

Everything you need to know about ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo’

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One of the great things about the Interwebs is that you can literally look up almost anything you want. That’s great right? You’d think with that kind of power there would be no stupid people but that’s just not the case. Instead, we have more stupid people now than any point in history. How do I know this? I’m on Twitter a lot.

So, the other day on Twitter, a friend of mine (we’ll call him Jose) started posting about the classic breakdancing film Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. I hadn’t thought about that film in years and he ended up posting a link to the entire film. For the life of me, I could not stop watching it. For one thing, it’s like a nasty car wreck that you just have to look at and like some sorry rubbernecker, I ended up watching the whole thing.

Mas…Everything you need to know about ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo’

From Mexican ‘Santa Claus’ (1959): Lupita’s Devil Dream (video)

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Here’s maybe the most famous scene from K. Gordon Murray’s English dub of the low-budget live-action Mexican classic Santa Claus. In this scene, which has given kids nightmares for years, Lupita’s dreams are interrupted by the Devil. Santa is able to see it (from his cloud in outer space) thanks to the dream-scope, created by Merlin the Magician.

This trailer is for a 2007 MST3K-style parody version:

Mas…From Mexican ‘Santa Claus’ (1959): Lupita’s Devil Dream (video)

Warning! Aliens will put your human baby in the microwave (video)

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Really, you want to do the right thing. Love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek, if it’s yellow let it mellow.

Enticing noises. Hypnotic lights.

All your life you’ve been thinking about the Mothership and the Space Brothers and ZOMG here they are in your backyard! What do you do? You do the Christian thing and invite them in for cuppa tea, of course. And what the frack do the aliens do? Hint: It involves babies and microwaves. (Based on a true story. Simulated gore may sicken people who are sickened by that kind of stuff.)

POCHO thanks La Virgen de Guadalupe for helping us break the ñews

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Today is the Feast Day of La Virgen de Guadalupe, the Empress of Latin America, celebrated every December 12.

La Virgen has consistently helped POCHO break the ñews. Here are a few of our favorite stories that included Nuestra Señora:

She replaced Feliz Navidad with ‘Feliz Hanukkah’ (audio)

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When Austin resident Trina Hernandez (photo) found out her family had Jewish roots, it allowed her to ditch the commercial aspects of Christmas she had long disliked and connect to a tradition she found more meaningful for her and her son. From NPR’s Latino USA with Maria Hinojosa.

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