POCHO has a cooking video from My Drunk Kitchen (tacos) and recipes from Tia Lencha’s Cocina (aphrodisiac salsa) but we’ve never wanted to taste anything as much as this extra special Fresh Guacamole! There’s more about how and why they make this video magic at the PES site. Molcajete optional.
Cultura
It’s Not News to Us
Los Brioles: ‘Hombres muertos no hacen ruido al caminar’ (videos)
TGIF Music Videos: Los Brioles are a crazed psychobilly trio from Spain. Dead men, like dead puppies, probably don’t have much fun, but they sure do rock!
But wait — there’s more! Dig this local cholobilly music video from Los Bandits who describe themselves this way:
Psychobilly, Rockabilly, Punk, Spanish guitar, Cumbia, and Mexican music that has an infiltration of Chicano based lyrics.
Mas…Los Brioles: ‘Hombres muertos no hacen ruido al caminar’ (videos)
Pocho Ocho reasons Latinos don’t usually encounter UFOs (videos)
8. If you spend your time looking up, someone will steal your wallet.
7. The only real flying object threat is a chancla.
6. We find the word “alien” pejorative and didactic. (Don’t hate on PhDs)
Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Latinos don’t usually encounter UFOs (videos)
Will Ferrell sings? In Spanish? ‘Yo no se’ from ‘Casa de Mi Padre’
Of course he sings in Spanish! The movie is IN Spanish! Wikipedia:
Casa de Mi Padre (English: My Father’s House) is an upcoming Spanish-language American comedy film. The film stars Will Ferrell, Gael García Bernal, Diego Luna and Génesis Rodríguez with Matt Piedmont directing a screenplay written by Andrew Steele. The film has been described to be in the style of an “overly dramatic telenovela” and tells the story of Armando Alvarez, who must save his father’s ranch from a powerful drug lord. Casa de Mi Padre is set for release next week.
Here’s the trailer:
Mas…Will Ferrell sings? In Spanish? ‘Yo no se’ from ‘Casa de Mi Padre’
Video documents February UFO over Mexico City
What do you think of this video of a UFO buzzing Mexico City?
‘Ballad of the Pocho’ by Los Alacranes, featuring Chunky Sanchez (RIP)
Not really much video here, but a heartfelt performance of a very personal song. This classic ode to Pochismo is from San Diego’s Los Alacranes, featuring the late Chunky Sanchez.
Pocho Ocho reasons ‘Hispanics’ like Conan O’Brien
Conan O’Brien’s show is more popular with Hispanic viewers than any other late-night program, the vaguely-talented host announced Monday night. Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons why:
8. He has hair like everyone’s tio.
7. Hispanics think he is funny; Latinos don’t.
6. He has more Latino comedy writers than George Lopez did — one.
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: It’s Michelada time!
Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. My recipe today is inspire by a gringo who saw me drinking a Michelada with my comadre Mari Carmen cause it was Comadre’s Night Out. The gringo tole me, “Escuse me, is that a margarita?”
I wanted to say: No, is a Michelada, menso! But I think thas not classy and I put my hair all spray so I look classy. So I no say the menso part, even though I know he don’t know what menso means.
And you know what? In that momen, I had a revelation, like when Dios or tequila speaks to you…and I know… is my responsibility to teash the pochos about Micheladas.
Joining a gang is serious business, holmes! (NSFW)
So you wanna join a gang. Got a resume? (NSFW language.)
Univision interviews a white guy and he’s happy to be there
White guy Billy Kimball gives Enrique Santos the “white” perspective on iLatino issues like dancing and citizenship, and clarifies a few details about early white immigrants, such as their dealings with documentation. But we have to ask: “Does Billy Kimball have a zucchini in his trousers or is he just happy to see Enrique?”
‘La Abuela Grillo’ is the cricket who brings rain (video)
Grandmother Cricket (La Abuela Grillo) brings the rain when she sings and frees the people from the grip of the evil water cartel in this charming internationally-produced animated short. Based on the mythology of the Ayoreo people.
Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Pocho Ocho unsolved mysteries
Now that Sheriff Joe Arpaio has evidence there’s something uppity with Pres. Barack Obama’s birth certificate, what’s next on his unsolved mysteries list?
8. Star Trek crewmen in red shirts who die early in the episode are also wearing pink chonies, but the Liberal Hollywood Establishment covers this up.
7. Every time you install a solar energy panel, a Texas oilman dies.
6. Wonder Bread actually builds bodies in 11 different ways but they won’t tell you that because those people want you to eat bread with stuff in it, like grains.
Mas…Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Pocho Ocho unsolved mysteries
Around Our Town: Ñews from the Neighborhood
Girl Scout Cookies: Troop 112, sponsored by the Pocho Estates Women’s Club, will set up a table next Tuesday after school outside the Safeway on Ritchie Valens Drive. Thin Mints are in short supply so quantities are limited, with only two boxes per person. Cash only, no layaways.
Band Concert: The Edward Olmos Middle School Concert Band invites you to their first performance of the New Year Thursday at 3 PM in the school auditorium. The program includes Stairway to Heaven, LaLaLaLaLa Means I Love You and Turn the Beat Around .
We’ve got your Pocho Ocho cures for la cruda right here
We all know it’s coming. It’s only Thursday, but THE WEEKEND is right ahead of us — a sign post up ahead that spells PARTY. And somebody is gonna get her drink on.
If that means you, perhaps we can help with the Pocho Ocho cures for your hangover (la cruda.)
8. Menudo. In my social circles, menudo is the go–to method for scaring away that nasty cruda. The power of the Aztec gods? Meat? Corn? Who knows why, but word has it that it works.
7. More alcohol! Hair of the dog, as it were. This method is perhaps one of the oldest cures for cruda. Does it work?
Video: Amadeus the Chihuahua plays pool
Some cats and dogs are smarter than people, according to a recent report. But you already knew that, didn’t you? Sit. Sit. That’s a good pocho. Not convinced about the intelligence thing? You need to see these pussy cats perform Over the Rainbow.
Watch ‘Jose Fino: Salsa Instructor Extraordinaire’
In this very New York video, Jose – a tempestuous, toned and out-of-the-ordinary salsa dance teacher – is offering “private lessons.” Would you take him up on his offer?
From the fine folks at BeingLatino.us
You can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood Boulevard
“You can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood Boulevard, some that you recognise, some that you’ve hardly even heard of. People who worked and suffered and struggled for fame, some who succeeded and some who suffered in vain,” according to the Kinks.
But artist Ramiro Gomez Jr. — whose art installations make the invisible visible — will have none of that. That’s why, on Sunday, Oscar Day, on Hollywood Boulevard, he positioned an image of one of the ubiquitous but unacknowledged Latinos who survive on the fringes of “The Industry.” One of those dudes you see hanging out on corners selling tourists “Maps to the Stars’ Homes.”
Mas…You can see all the stars as you walk down Hollywood Boulevard
Pocho Ocho props you need to be a proper Latino
You know, sometimes it’s hard being Latino. You wake up, go about your day, do your business, and then people ask you where your donkey is, or whether your family is from Mexico.
And, you know, it may be that your family has been in the U.S. longer than theirs, or that no one in your family has a moustache, but why burst peoples’ bubbles with inconvenient truths like that?
So here’s a list of the Pocho Ocho indispensable Latino props — for those days that you forget you’re supposed to be a stereotype!
8. Sombrero — Don’t forget your hat, amigo!
7. Moustache — You know it does go with the sombrero, as does the poncho and/or donkey. Wouldn’t want you to leave home without it!
Scientists ID Chicana who hasn’t seen ‘Blood In Blood Out’ (video)
(PNS reporting from ALTA CALIFORNIA) Ethnic anthropologists recently discovered the last living Chicana who has never seen the coming-of-age movie Blood In Blood Out.
The woman, not named in the report, was spotted and identified last summer in the Los Angeles suburb of Cudahy, according to a study published in the prestigious journal Science.
The subject, 32, had no explanation for not seeing the film that is “required viewing” for a true Chicano or Chicana, according to the paper, although scientists have been analyzing her brain for abnormalities in her “cholo receptors:”
Mas…Scientists ID Chicana who hasn’t seen ‘Blood In Blood Out’ (video)
Pocho Ocho reasons the Oscars sucked
7. They made Sheila E play timbales in the balcony.
6. Meryl Streep has been nominated more than all the Latinos since the Aztecs.
5. The Spanglish animated feature Puss in Boots got pimp-slapped by a Johnny Depp cartoon lizard.
POCHO Oscars Video: Mel Brooks talks back to the screen in ‘The Critic’
At Oscar time, everyone’s a critic, especially that annoying old guy in the movie theater who is talking back to the screen. Writer/actor/director/producer Mel Brooks won an Oscar for the animated short The Critic in 1963.
Forget the Oscars, It’s The Hectors©! Pocho’s 1st Annual Awards
Behold, The Hectors©, Pocho’s own Oscars, bestowed for Excellence in Mockability.
The Hector© is named for my annoying cousin Hector, who is excellent at ruining family gatherings, especially when he has downed his third 12-pack. He hasn’t seen a film since Blood In, Blood Out.
And the Hector© goes to:
Best Actor in a Tragedy- goes to Newt Gingrich, for his remarkable portrayal of The One Supposedly Sane GOP Candidate
Best Special Effect- goes to Callista Gingrich’s hair.
Most Ignorant- Sen. Rick Santorum, for suggesting that anyone who wants kids to go to college is a “snob.”
Best Sound Effects Editing – Bad Lip Reading, for actually making Ron Paul make sense
Mas…Forget the Oscars, It’s The Hectors©! Pocho’s 1st Annual Awards
Organizations just about as diverse as the Oscars Academy of 2012
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS), commonly known as “the Academy,” has been recently profiled in the Los Angeles Times and, not surprisingly, exposed as one of the most exclusionary organizations in the United States.
The Academy is 94% white, 77% male and the average age of its voters is 62.
Basically the Academy is full of rich old white guys, and has a hard time explaining why it is not a modern day example of Apartheid.
POCHO researchers, however, have discovered that it’s not as bad as it looks, because there are other organizations that are only slightly less diverse than the Oscars Academy of 2012:
Mas…Organizations just about as diverse as the Oscars Academy of 2012
The Adventures of MR. POCHO: A movie for my people
MR. POCHO has a dream:
One day Hollywood will make a movie that reflects the struggle of my people, and it goes something like this…
Here’s a close up of his dream:
SCHWA the Video: Dear ‘Stick People’ – Your Alien Overlords are here
Before X Files claimed “the truth is out there,” before anyone heard of the Mayan Apocalypse, visionary Bill Barker raised the alarm, warning the few who would listen about the real illegal immigration threat – the imminent invasion of Gray Aliens from Outer Espace.
For a while, anyhow. Then he went over to Their Side.
Hollywood-born Barker, who recently approached POCHO to sugarcoat his poison meme, claimed:
I “parquito the espanale” a little. And I was raised in East L.A., near Maywood.
This human sellout — channeling thought emanations from Zeta Reticuli — created, built, staffed and managed the SCHWA Corporation, the holding company of the grays. His mission? Carry out the commands of the Alien Overlords and complete the domination of Earth and its clueless Stick People.
Barker proudly gave POCHO his SCHWA World Operations Manual so we could make this video, ribbed for your protection.
Mas…SCHWA the Video: Dear ‘Stick People’ – Your Alien Overlords are here
Pocho Ocho reasons we weren’t invited to the Oscars
In Hollywood, they say, Oscar is king. So why didn’t POCHO get invited to the king’s Big Night Out?
8. All the valet gigs are sewn up by Telemundo producers.
7. They only invite Hispanics with the right attitude, with good credit and who play well with others.
6. There is an industry ban on pastel Quinceañera Tuxedos.
5. They think Mexican Mitt is a Cuban baseball catcher.
Sh¡t Latinos Don’t Say (video)
“Oh Arizona! I love Jan Brewer!” — and more! Great video by BeingLatino.us.
Music Video: Shake it don’t break it! Matorralman’s ‘GoGo Girl’ (NSFW?)
Vintage footage of strip clubs and exotic GoGo dancers heats up this 2009 release from Mexican retro-rockers Matorralman. Beauties, cuties and nudies! ¡Que rocko!
(Semi-nude breasts with pasties and/or kinky tassels. No nipples. May be NSFW or unavailable in your area; ask your doctor before beginning any GoGo dancing regimen.)
Pocho Ocho stereotypes of the Latino professional
8. You’re always late.
7. You laugh or talk too loudly.
6. You have a short temper.
5. You’re spicy/overly sexual.
Happy Birthday, Chespirito!
POCHO wishes Roberto Gomez Bolaños — AKA “Chespirito” — a happy 83rd birthday.
Chespirito (Little Shakespeare) is Mexico’s most-beloved children’s comic, humorist and performer, creator of the iconic television shows El Chavo and El Chapulin Colorado.
El Chapulin is famously the inspiration for the Simpson’s “Bumblebee Man.” I was fortunate to have met Bolaños and his wife “Doña Florinda” at the Latino Book and Family Festival at Cal State L.A. in 2005.
His characters appeared on Mexican and Latin American television from 1970 to 1995, and at their peak had 350 million viewers. Chespirito continues to bring joy and risas to children all over Latin America and the U.S.
Dear Gorton’s: Thanks for the apology but …
Dear Gorton’s Seafood and Rinck Advertising:
I am thrilled to the gills that you took the time to respond. I am a fan of your products, and hope that they reach many more households than mine.
However, your response reveals exactly why you floundered in the first place. You mention that you “used a Spanish translation service,” and that “Spanish-speaking staff members were involved throughout the project.”
You didn’t say that you translated it yourself in-house, or that Spanish-speaking and/or Latino executives (emphasis on executives) oversaw the project.
Instead, it seems like someone internally had the idea to reach out to Latina moms but fish-farmed out the work because you didn’t have the capabilities or experience to do it on your own.