[Sponsored] CIA’s new drone flights were designed with you in mind!
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Your Central Intelligence Agency is now offering select targets the option of upgrading to CIA Business Class Drone Flights.
For a small fee, you’ll get exclusive benefits and special treatment:
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Mas…[Sponsored] CIA’s new drone flights were designed with you in mind!
Dreams Without Borders: I am going to grad school in London
On August 5 I launched a fundraising effort which I named Dreams Without Borders.
It is about a dream that had been buried along with many other aspirations for some time. After graduating from college when residing in the U.S., I knew I wanted to earn a graduate degree.
I had not figured out exactly what I would pursue but I was sure it had to be aligned with my life purpose; a work in progress that was halted the day I returned to Mexico.
Nancy Landa was brought to the U.S. without papers when she was a child and grew up in Southern California. She graduated with honors from Cal State Northridge where she also served as student body president. And then she was deported. She introduced herself in this POCHO story.
Some of us experience life-altering moments, those in which we see our dreams fall into pieces right in front of us. In my case, a border became the physical and emotional barrier to a future I had once envisioned.
Some of my friends encouraged me to look for options to continue my education in Mexico. Given that it was my country of nationally, it was assumed I would be able to pursue opportunities I was not easily afforded as an undocumented immigrant in the United States. Right?
Mas…Dreams Without Borders: I am going to grad school in London
Doritos aren’t Mexican and fortune cookies aren’t Chinese (video)
Not to mention German chocolate cake, English muffins, the French dip sandwich and Russian dressing.
Elotes! Fresh hot elotes! How to make Mexican corn (video)
Some kids may be back at school but it’s still Summer. And there’s no summer without elotes, fresh and hot from the grill.
The GOP’s Sen. Ted Cruz reveals he is a ‘proud Kenyadian’
(PNS reporting from DALLAS) Like Barack Obama before him, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) is fighting doubts he is really a “natural born citizen” of the United States, a question he must settle before he runs for president.
“I am a proud Kenyadian,” the beaming senator told reporters here this morning as he displayed a copy of his birth certificate. The official record shows his mother was born in Delaware, his father is from Cuba, and Cruz was born in Kenyada.
Mas…The GOP’s Sen. Ted Cruz reveals he is a ‘proud Kenyadian’
What is it? Brazil cyclists capture shiny UFO on video
An unidentified flying object has been photographed over the Serra do Gado Bravo in Brazil by two cyclists, according to England’s Alien Disclosure Group:
Witnesses Raimundo Swimming and Igor Geovani managed to take some photos of the mystery object before it shot away at high speed.
According to Swimming and Geovani, the shiny oval-shaped UFO hovered for some 15 minutes.
Eleven-year-old piano prodigy is on her way to Carnegie Hall (videos)
When she was nine, Daniela Leibman won a First Prize in the Young Artists Category at the International Russian Music Piano Competition with this performance of works by modern classical composer Nicolas Slominsky (video.) In October she’ll play Carnegie Hall.
The 11-year-old was born in Guadalajara, Mexico in 2002 to a Mexican mother and an American father that had music in their blood. She started playing the piano at the age of three and by the age of six became a professional musician, hence the word “prodigy”.
You can say it’s in the genes, her father is an accomplished violinist and her grandmother is a concert pianist. Her mother Maria Luisa Martinez, a native of Guadalajara, saw right away that even at the age of three she had a gift for understanding rhythm and possessed an excellent memory for music.
Mas…Eleven-year-old piano prodigy is on her way to Carnegie Hall (videos)
Breaking: Silverlake hipster DOA after DIY project goes wrong
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Jimmy “Doc” Juanes was found dead on Hyperion Boulevard near Fountain Avenue here late Sunday night in what the LAPD called a freak DIY project gone wrong.
The 28-year-old USC masters student in French literature was known around his Silverlake neighborhood for his inventive do-it-yourself projects that pushed the envelope for what is considered “standard” in the DIY/Maker community, and police here said that led to his demise.
Mas…Breaking: Silverlake hipster DOA after DIY project goes wrong
Nevada Latino GOP outreach not working per plan (NSFW video)
(PNS reporting from LAS VEGAS) The Republican Party in Nevada is trying to woo Latinos, but the outreach effort isn’t working according to plan.
The PNS undercover camera posse was in a parking lot on the Vegas Strip Saturday night when a GOP campaign worker was unable to get a Latino voter named Miguel to sign an “Impeach Obama” petition despite a concerted effort. (NSFW adult language.)
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
How does your state rate in the Mexican restaurant wars?
It’s no secret that Americans love Mexican food — Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano’s book Taco USA celebrated that aspect of the Reconquista last year.
But not all of the United Estates is created equal, and in some areas of the country there is a shocking Mexican restaurant shortage!
There are more Mexican restaurants than Italian bistros, Chinese kitchens, chicken rotisseries, or seafood shacks in the US. We’re talking about no less than 38,000 Mexican restaurants dispersed all across the American landscape (as of 2011).
Mas…How does your state rate in the Mexican restaurant wars?
Street tacos in Mexico City — guisado for pinches borrachos (video)
Polanco, they say, is the Beverly Hills of Mexico DF, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t illegal taco carts on the street. They serve trendy tacos de guisados to area workers during the day, Daniel Hernandez reports, and to partying pinches borrachos at night.
Breaking: Aeromexico Airlines is changing its name
(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY, D.F.) Mexico’s largest and longest-flying airline announced today that it is undergoing a complete corporate makeover.
Aeromexico Chief of Communications Rigoberto Saenz Bolillo explained in this statement:
We are going through a rebranding, and we are shedding our old name Aeromexico, and our logo, which evokes an Aztec Eagle warrior flying through the air. A flying Indio was frightening to the new type of upscale passenger we are going after, and that is why Aeromexico will now be known as GueroMexico.
Bolillo added:
The best part of waking up is Estaobucks in your cup (video)
Oh, how I hate to get up in the morning!
Flaco Jimenez vs Los Gabachos: ‘El Mojado Sin Licencia’ (music video)
The wetback drove from Laredo to San Antonio to see his girl — and that’s when the trouble started.
Little Moco does PSY’s ‘Gentleman’ cholo style (NSFW video)
PSY‘s Gentleman provides the inspiration as Little Moco and his cholos tear up the town in their quest for hynas and hilarity. (Totally NSFW audio.)
Zapata’s Mexican Cantina in Shanghai: No prostitutes, please (photo)
Zapata’s Mexican Cantina in Shanghai, China, makes its mission clear on its website:
CADA DIA ES FIESTA – EVERYDAY IS A PARTY OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK from 6pm till late
Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521
(PNS reporting from SEGUIN, TX) A nine-year-old boy killed El Cucuy Tuesday night.
El Cucuy, AKA the Mexican Boogeyman, was pronounced dead at 10:30 PM at the Balli family residence here. The legendary monster was said to be 521, with a birth date pegged in 1492.
It was a more or less typical evening for the Balli family, according to a Guadalupe County Sheriff’s detective familiar with the case. There was no hint of the trouble to come, he said, “when boy’s parents threatened the perpetrator with El Cucuy if he didn’t brush his teeth before he went to bed.”
The youth, who turned nine July 13, refused, the officer said, so his parents summoned El Cucuy to the modest ranch-style home.
El Cucuy (file photo, above) manifested in the kid’s room around 9:40 PM, according to the investigator, and was killed during a brief firefight by “some type of particle-beam weapon” created by the boy.
The room was “a mess with comic books and plasma everywhere,” he said, and El Cucuy’s remains “looked and smelled like burnt frijoles.”
Mas…Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521
Pocho Ocho First World Back-to-School Problems
We don’t know what the schedule is in your barrio, but here in Pocho Estates, A Gated Community, the kids are starting a new school year.
We know it’s not easy, the way things are in the world today. The Libtard’s “climate change” hoax, the Federal Reserve’s phony money and Obummer’s Gay Socialist Nazi Muslim New World Order all conspire to make things difficult, especially for you, Mr. or Ms. Returning to School First World Entitled Student.
So the world better understands your plight, we’ve compiled your Pocho Ocho back-to-school gripes:
8. I didn’t get the new iPhone
7. My bulletproof backpack is so heavy
6. My parents say no tattoo until senior year
Help the homeless with this new ThingStarter campaign (video)
Homelessness is hard, especially if you have to solicit money on the street with a crudely-scrawled sign. But there is a way YOU can help. Please take two minutes to watch this video for a new ThingStarter campaign. You’ll be glad you did.
- ALSO ON THINGSTARTER: iNotRacist: Social media app keeps track of your non-racism (video)
Freestyle rap by Ray Sipe: ‘Thank you, thank you, Mexico!’ (video)
Ray Sipe loves so many things about Mexico, especially hot and spicy food, chiles and piñatas, and he rhymes them all in Thank you, thank you, Mexico. Here’s what he has to say for himself on his YouTube page:
Funny songs on any subject.I do take requests.Send me a message.Facebook:raymond.sipe.9:Twitter;raysipe:Instagram;ra ysipe.twitter;raysipe. Instagram;raysipe.My videos are PARODIES;no copyright infringement intended.
Mexican scientist reveals underground high speed travel system
(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Not to be outdone by Space X founder Elon Musk’s proposed high speed “Hyperloop” rail system, a Mexican engineer has plans to commercialize his country’s high speed travel infrastructure, a proprietary closed system that has been in operation for years.
Researchers and engineers in this high tech city in Mexico’s Silicon Barrio are not impressed with Musk’s Hyperloop, a system of people-sized pods that move through a network of air-free tubes built over or under the ground at speeds of up to 800 MPH.
“We have had almost the same method of transportation a very long time, so I do not understand what the big deal is,” Universidad de Guanajuato Prof. Carlos Sagañez told PNS Tuesday.
Mas…Mexican scientist reveals underground high speed travel system
Everything you wanted to know about ‘Colors’ but were afraid to ask
If you grew up in the 80’s and 90’s, you remember the film Colors. It spawned a lot of headlines about violence at movie theaters and the spread of Los Angeles-style gang wars. The Guardian Angels even protested the flick and left a toilet bowl outside of Sean Penn’s home as an “award.” They also strapped makeshift coffins to the roofs of their cars.
The film had this weird mystique. Colors introduced suburban kids (and their parents) to a whole new world – one they would spend the next decade imitating. Long gone were the fierce but safe dance-offs in Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo – in Colors, Turbo and Ozone would have simply blown the heads off of Electro-Rock’s crew with a 12-gauge shotgun.
Mas…Everything you wanted to know about ‘Colors’ but were afraid to ask
‘Tears of God’ or dripping bug poop? Fresno tree has believers (video)
It’s across the street from St. John’s Cathedral in Fresno, CA. Maria Ybarra thinks it manifests a Godly miracle, dripping Holy Water from Heaven. A local tree expert says it’s aphid poop. The Archdiocese has no comment.
Japanese Doritos put a whole new twist on ‘caliente’ (photos)
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Don’t ask us how we found these images. That’s between us and the NSA. Big versions below:
Mas…Japanese Doritos put a whole new twist on ‘caliente’ (photos)
Breaking: Marketing to Latins? Talk Latin to us, activists say
(PNS reporting from UPTON ABBEY, MI) Frater Cassius the Yon was adamant.
“In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti,” he insisted in a rare English-language interview Sunday. “There is no such thing as Latin dancing, unless you mean the “dance of death” from the Black Plague. And Latin music is Gregorian chants, Enya and Necrodeath. Ain’t nobody got no time for that! Tempus fugit!”
Mas…Breaking: Marketing to Latins? Talk Latin to us, activists say
@SaraChicaD: In Texas, Guadalupe photobombs you (Vine video)
“It’s very Catholic where I was in Texas,” Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón emailed the POCHO Ñewsroom from an undisclosed location in the Lone Star State.
“Mess around and la Virgen gets all up in your grill!” she wrote.
Follow Calderón on Twitter where’s she’s @SaraChicad.
[With these Vine videos you need to click on the speaker icon in the top left corner to hear WTF is happening.]
Who was ‘Little Latin Lupe Lu’? Three bands loved this chica! (videos)
Who was she? Who was the high-flying Guadalupe who inspired all the boys to sing about her hotness 50 years ago? The Righteous Brothers were first in 1963 with the original Little Latin Lupe Lu, followed by the Kingsmen, and then Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels.
Orange County native Bill Medley of the Righteous Brothers, who wrote the song, said he was inspired by a girl he dated named Lupe Laguna. Where is Lupe Lu now? Medley tells the story in this YouTube interview:
Mas…Who was ‘Little Latin Lupe Lu’? Three bands loved this chica! (videos)
Write for POCHO, earn the respect of your peers, mas o menos
Face it, pochos, money can’t buy you love. But respect —
And that’s why we want to remind you once again of a very special opportunity to earn the respect of your peers, street cred in your neighborhood and, possibly, the approbation of total strangers from all across the InterT00bZ, if not actual cash.
All you need to do is to send POCHO your dreams and nightmares for distribution on the World Wide Web — for the greater good of humanity.
Send original photos, videos, cartoons, illustrations, short stories and ñews that will amuse, titillate and elevate America.
Is that so much to ask? Srsly. These recent gems all came from “regular” folks just like you:
Mas…Write for POCHO, earn the respect of your peers, mas o menos
@SaraChicaD: My Pocho Ocho favorite foods (video)
POCHO’s Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón (also known as @SaraChicaD on the Twitter) is very particular about the foods she likes. Here are her Pocho Ocho faves…