gop
My proposed redesign for the Washington Redskins mascot (toon)
Here are the existing logo and my redesigned version full size:
Mas…My proposed redesign for the Washington Redskins mascot (toon)
Government shutdown halts Hispanic Heritage Month in mid-month
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) Effective immediately, all Hispanic Heritage Month observations have been halted due to the current Federal Government shutdown.
HHM activities have been classified as “non-essential” and Washington has issued guidelines on toning down loud festivities and colorful displays as the U.S. Treasury runs out of funding.
As of midnight, October 15, all functions relating to Hispanic Heritage Month ceased, according to Felix Zaragosa of the General Services Administration.
“More than 2,900 Federal Mariachi Administration inspectors were initially furloughed, putting an end to inspections of mariachi uniforms and instruments. The FMA asked 800 employees to return to work last week,” he said.
Mas…Government shutdown halts Hispanic Heritage Month in mid-month
Breaking: GOP blames unidentified suspect for shutdown
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The GOP knows who to blame for today’s partial Federal government shutdown.
“An unidentified black man came along out of nowhere, drew a gun and demanded that Republicans shut down the government,” according to Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH).
Voice of America Hispanic Heritage Profile: George P. Bush (video)
This “little brown one” is all grown up now and and ready for his closeup. The Voice of America (VOA) profiles George P. Bush for Hispanic Heritage Month 2013: The Next Generation.
The GOP’s Sen. Ted Cruz reveals he is a ‘proud Kenyadian’
(PNS reporting from DALLAS) Like Barack Obama before him, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) is fighting doubts he is really a “natural born citizen” of the United States, a question he must settle before he runs for president.
“I am a proud Kenyadian,” the beaming senator told reporters here this morning as he displayed a copy of his birth certificate. The official record shows his mother was born in Delaware, his father is from Cuba, and Cruz was born in Kenyada.
Mas…The GOP’s Sen. Ted Cruz reveals he is a ‘proud Kenyadian’
GOP alerts Congressmen on vacay to ‘looming threat of liberalism’
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) As the Republican-controlled House of Representatives left town for a five-week paid vacation, GOP leaders warned members returning to their home districts to be on high alert because of unspecified “threats of liberalism.”
“These liberals are out there with their ‘logic and facts and science,’ and all our malarkey will Ben Ghazi in our faces if we’re not careful,” Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) cautioned in a memo to his partisans Friday.
“Members are urged to stay close to their vacation retreats in gate-guarded communities, hunting lodges, country clubs and private marinas,” Boehner wrote, “and avoid potentially hazardous areas that may harbor liberals and their sympathizers. College campuses, where Republicans can easily get bamboozled by Improvised Intellectual Debates (IIDs), are particularly dangerous.”
Mas…GOP alerts Congressmen on vacay to ‘looming threat of liberalism’
Awkwafina: GOP! I don’t have to show you my steenking vag (NSFW vid)
Hands off my lady parts, you GOP pervs. My vag is awesome! (NSFW adult lyrics.)
And from Favianna Rodriguez, this NSFW poster…
Mas…Awkwafina: GOP! I don’t have to show you my steenking vag (NSFW vid)
Texas lawmakers focus on Latinos with poll tax, redistricting
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Republican-controlled Texas legislature (photo) has wasted no time in exploiting last month’s Supreme Court ruling that gutted the Voting Rights Act:
The lawmakers have passed a draconian redistricting scheme and enacted new voter registration requirements that many liken to a poll tax.
SB17, nicknamed “The Liberty Forever Bill,” mandates a laundry list of voter registration requirements “to ensure that only Texans are allowed to vote.” It passed Saturday and awaits GOP Gov. Rick Perry’s signature.
Among the measure’s exacting requirements:
Mas…Texas lawmakers focus on Latinos with poll tax, redistricting
Pocho Ocho new items on TX Gov. Rick Perry’s to-do list
Rick Perry announced Monday he won’t be running for reelection as Texas’ governor.
So what’s up next for this GOP favorite? Here are the Pocho Ocho things on Rick Perry’s to-do list:
8. Concentrate his hatred on a wider range of disenfranchised groups
7. Sign with the Lakers
6. Spend more time with the Westboro Baptist family
Breaking: Rick Perry moving West: ‘Let’s turn Cali red!’
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) Rick Perry told a crowd of press and supporters here Monday that he will not seek another term as Texas governor when his term expires in 18 months.
Instead, the longest-serving governor in Texas’ history said he was going to do the unthinkable: move to California to turn the state back into a Republican stronghold.
“Now that Democrats have set their sights on Texas, I want to return the favor and head to the Golden State and bring a brand of compassionate conservatism that ruled the state in the good ol’ days,” the former GOP presidential nominee wannabe said.
Mas…Breaking: Rick Perry moving West: ‘Let’s turn Cali red!’
Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Texas Senate is set to pass legislation to ban “non-traditional” colored sneakers on the chamber floor.
Sen. Dan Ireland (R-Dallas) introduced Senate Bill 5 to “raise sartorialism of the chamber by mandating the use of traditional colors of sneakers.”
The Texas legislature has begun its second special session to push through legislation that sent thousands of Texans to the Capitol to protest last week. Ireland called these Texans the “unruly mob, whose decorum and multi-colored footwear, left much to be desired.”
SB5 “mandates that all sneakers worn shall be plain white.”
Mas…Texas Senate to ban ‘non-traditional’ colored sneakers on floor
Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)
The anti-abortion SB5 bill was delayed but not defeated after Sen. Wendy Davis’s spectacular filibuster with pink sneakers, but the battle for common sense in Texas (photo, above) continues.
We already told you about the attempt to outlaw “looking too Mexican,” but that’s not the only trick the Republicans have up their (cotton-poly-blend) sleeves.
From our Ostin Especial Correspondents — this just in — here are the GOP’s Pocho Ocho new proposals for Texas:
8. Henceforth, the value for Pi π shall, for efficiency purposes, be rounded down to 3.00; additionally only apple pi is permitted
7. SB666, dubbed the “God Is My Co-Pilot Bill,” requires a Gideon Bible in every glove compartment
6. Hug a tree, go to jail
Mas…Pocho Ocho new ignorant GOP proposals for Texas (photos, video)
Elise Roedenbeck Filibusters: ‘How To Do the Wendy’ (video)
It’s not easy standing up for women’s rights in Texas, but the heroic filibuster by State Sen. Wendy Davis kept the GOP’s anti-abortion SB5 from passing Tuesday night. Our MiJA, Elise Roedenbeck, learned how to Do the Wendy for the camera. [Disclosure: The settlement agreement approved by the judge means we must stay at least 100 yards away from Ms. Roedenbeck, but we can still remind people that she is POCHO’s New Jack City Burro Jefe, Emeritus.]
GOP, Christians reach out to millennials: ‘Rappin’ for Jesus’
If the GOP has any future, it needs fresh blood, according to young Christian conservatives at a recent right-wing confab.
And reaching “Millenials” means communicating in the languages These Kids Today know — sarcasm, hiphop, humor and snark.
“How do you make abortion funny?” That was a key question mulled at a major conservative gathering Friday on how to make social conservatism appealing to young people, after an election where Republicans got trounced in the battle for millennial voters (who are are moving even further and further away from the Christian-right on marriage and other issues).
Mas…GOP, Christians reach out to millennials: ‘Rappin’ for Jesus’
Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, authors of the mathematically-challenged Growth in a Time of Debt pro-“austerity” study, and Jason Richwine, the Heritage Foundation researcher who claimed Hispanics have lower IQs, are the recipients of the 2013 Carlos Castaneda Award for Academic Bullshit, it was announced today.
The prize is named for the Peruvian-born UCLA anthropologist and cult leader who wrote several best-selling books about a Yaqui brujo that were marketed as truth but turned out to be bullshit. It’s presented annually to “those academic authors who manage to fool some of the people some of the time.”
The award, which features a $19.99 monthly stipend and a year’s supply of vegetarian “sausage” for the winners, is a community project of the Soyrizo Foundation of Los Angeles, which is “dedicated to recognizing and celebrating phony-ass shit wherever we find it, with a spicy Latin flair,” executive vice president Penn O. Kehoe said in a foundation press release.
Mas…Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award
Pocho Ocho ways the GOP can lure back young voters
It’s no secret: The Grand Old Party needs some new blood.
If the Republican Party, formerly the “Party of Lincoln,” is to succeed nationally, it needs more women, “minorities,” and younger voters. Old angry reactionary white people is not a growing constituency.
Here are Pocho Ocho ways the GOP can bring more young voters aboard:
8. Refer to them as “whippersnappers”
7. Say “dang-fangled” as much as possible
6. Promise 72 virgins to new party members
Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Rep. Randolph Snopes (R-AL) plans committee hearings next week to investigate reports that “illegal immigrants” from Mexico are encoding secret messages in sneakers hanging over telephone wires — messages about how to avoid police, sell drugs and promote terrorism, PNS has learned.
Snopes, chairman of the Unamerican Activities Committee, maintains that evidence of “sneaker-encoded propaganda” has been covered up by “high echelons of the Obama Administration,” according to leaked committee documents circulating on Capitol Hill.
Mas…Breaking: Congress to probe ‘illegal immigrant sneaker code’
Colbert Report: Do Hispanics cost trillion$ and have low IQs? (video)
It takes an ace newsman like Stephen Colbert to get to the bottom of the barrel of reasons why the Heritage Foundation’s report on immigration says legalization will cost us six trillion dollars and the entire Hispanic race has lower IQs than native white Americans.
Obama says ‘F★ck it’ in tricky bid for GOP immigration reform votes
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) President Barack Obama gave up his efforts to pass comprehensive immigration reform this week, informing Republican leaders that he didn’t care about reform anymore.
“Fuck it!” Obama reportedly told Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) in a conference call Tuesday.
“I don’t care about reform anymore, are you happy? Don’t pass it, see if I fuckin’ care!”
Washington insiders say that the president’s sudden change of heart on immigration has less to do with his actual desire to see reform pass and more to do with tactical consderations. Every time the president wants to pass legislation, Republicans balk — so if he doesn’t want to pass immigration reform, the thinking goes, conservatives will play along.
Mas…Obama says ‘F★ck it’ in tricky bid for GOP immigration reform votes
Pocho Ocho Republican things you didn’t know were in The Bible
It’s in the Jewy Old Testament, written from right to left in Leviticus, Chapter 19, Verses 33-34, where God tells Moses (photo, left):
If a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not do him wrong. The stranger that sojourneth with you shall be unto you as the home-born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt.
God-fearing Christian Sen. Jeff Sessions (R-AL) sure as Hell doesn’t think that means making nice to undocumented immigrants and he was quite happy to tell evangelical so-called Christian pro-reform advocates that he knows The Bible better than they do.
“I think this idea that somehow love, statements in Leviticus 19, is not the kind of thing that would indicate that we shouldn’t have laws,” Sessions mansplained. “Some people have been citing the Scripture, I think, pretty loosely,” he added.
Mas…Pocho Ocho Republican things you didn’t know were in The Bible
Al Madrigal: Aliens vs Senators – The Path to Presidentship (video)
The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal explains to Jon Stewart the tough but fair conditions Latinos will impose on Republicans hoping to one day win back the White House. [Disclosure: Al Madrigal is also POCHO’s Migrant Editor.]
Hey, wetbacks! Meet Rep. Don Young (R-AK) [audio]
Meet Congressman Don Young, a Republican from Alaska, who just called agricultural laborers who once worked on his father’s ranch “wetbacks.”
In a radio interview Thursday with KRDB this fine American legislator was full of the kind of wisdom that has inspired the deep thoughts of his homegirl, Sarah Palin, and assorted white power NRA-voting posses, militias and tea parties across the U.S. of A.
A three-second clip is at the bottom of this story. Play it here or download it and make it into a ring tone, or an auto-tuned viral meme! Thanks to KRDB for the audio. Oh, and here are the phone numbers for all the Congressman’s offices.
GOP marks ‘Decade of the Dominican’ after immigrant’s Powerball win
(PNS reporting from NEW YERSEY) Literally hours after Dominican immigrant Pedro Quezada won the $338 million New Jersey Powerball jackpot Saturday, the Republican Party announced that the years 2013-2023 will be known as the Decade of the Dominican.
The news was met with universal cynicism, and is seen as the latest in a series of floundering attempts by the party to attract new minority members to its ranks.
“We are really thrilled for Mr. Quezada, as this is the first time in years a Dominican in New Jersey has raised his hands over his head without being surrounded by police,” said African-American GOP spokesman Sam Beau.
“Plus, the fact that he is named ‘Pedro’ makes it easier for us to remember his name.”
Mas…GOP marks ‘Decade of the Dominican’ after immigrant’s Powerball win
