LALO ALCARAZ
Mexican Mitt Romney: Obama is spiking the gay football
AJUA!! I am Mexican Mitt Romney, and I am here to clear the record on the GAY MARRIAGE.
Contrary to reports by ABC News and Perez Hilton about Barack Obama being the first president to approve of same-sex marriage, I invented it, and now Barack Obama is hogging all the credit! If you ask me, Obama is spiking the gay football! That is wrong! Everyone knows gays play tennis and hacky sack.
Now the gays are all running around and shrieking like the end of an episode of Ru Paul’s Drag Race just because the PINCHE North Carolina DOUBLE NEGATIVE GAY MARRIAGE Proposition that won this week. HIJOLE! Such drama queens!
In North Carolina it just means that Jethro cannot marry Jethro, but he can marry HIS COUSIN ELLIE MAE! Ajua! That’s what I call FREEDOM!
I was an eyewitness/participant at the L.A. riots/uprising/desmadre
This Saturday, after driving and blasting some Public Enemy and NWA in my decidedly non-gangster hoopty (a new, very gas-friendly tiny vehicle) I went home feeling amped up about the commemoration of the twentieth anniversary of the L.A. Riots.
I checked the newspapers, then went online and was reading an excellent piece by Pocho homie, DJ and writer Davey D, about the massive civil unrest sparked by the trial of the L.A.P.D. cops who beat unarmed Rodney King.
On Apr. 29, 1992, my girlfriend and I were in shock, like much of L.A., that the cops were acquitted of beating Rodney King. Though we were accustomed to seeing the constant police brutality used against minorities by outfits like the L.A.P.D., everyone felt that there was no way they were going to get away this time. It was on.
Mas…I was an eyewitness/participant at the L.A. riots/uprising/desmadre
Mitt Romney: Holographic Tupac is your best choice for VP!
That’s why GOP political insiders are urging the superwealthy robotic candidate to pick Holographic Tupac as his vice presidential running mate.
Holographic Tupac, they note, is way more lifelike than the GOP presidential candidate, although Mitt’s musical skills are nothing to scoff at.
“Tupac could be Mitt’s Joe Biden,” said one Romney campaign insider. “He has the common touch Mitt lacks and he’s big with the bitches. We think he might be the droid we are looking for.”
Dead or not, rapper Tupac Shakur (1971-1996) killed ’em in a short set at Coachella (video below.)
Mas…Mitt Romney: Holographic Tupac is your best choice for VP!
My name is Lady Justice and I endorse this message
Lady Justice wears a Hoodie for Trayvon Martin. George Zimmerman, the killer of the 17-year-old African-American teenager in Sanford, FLA, has finally been arrested and arraigned — this only after national outrage and agitation by Americans of all races. We hope that Justice is truly blind, and also that she wears a hoodie.
Un chico makes his own arcade: Caine’s Arcade
This has got to be the most wondrous film about a small Latino businessman ever made. Caine Monroy, a nine-year-old from East L.A., built his own DIY arcade out of cardboard boxes from his dad’s car parts store. He charges a dollar for two plays, but you really ought to get the Superpass, which is a good deal. He has designed security features with 99 Cent Store calculators, and an ingenious ticket delivery system that you have to see to believe. The excellent and funny short film is by Nirvan Mullick, who was Caine’s first and only customer — for a little bit, anyhow.
Watch the movie and warm your corazon!
Help Caine’s Scholarship Fund:
Caine’s Arcade online:
Lalo Alcaraz: Selected cartoons, posters, art and illustrations
Here are some of my recent favorite cartoons, posters, illustrations and propaganda.
I hope they’re your favorites, too!
Romney campaign tries to shake off Etch A Sketch remark
The Romney campaign is one built on strong policy principles, unless, of course, they need to change them to pander to primary voters.
“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes,” Romney campaign advisor Eric Fehrnstrom said Wednesday on CNN. “It’s almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and restart all over again.”
Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual
(PNS reporting from POCHO RICO) Former senator and current GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum caused a furor on this island yesterday when he said English would have to be the “main language” for the Puerto Rican Commonwealth to ever become a state.
To be fair, when Santorum told a campaign rally crowd here in San Juan that Puerto Ricans should make English the official language, he didn’t think they could understand English at all.
Mas…Ricky Martin Santorum wants Puerto Rico to be blahlingual
CHONY 2012: Mexican Mitt’s new awareness campaign
Leading GOP presidential contender Mexican Mitt Romney has started a brand new awareness campaign that is sweeping the social media world: CHONY 2012.
Mexican Mitt is trying to raise awareness about the whereabouts of his favorite pair of Magical Underpants, which he has named “Chony.”
“Please help me find my favorite CHONYs,” said the wealthy Mexi-Mormon on his popular Twitter feed last night.
Their absence from his campaign bus is causing Mexican Mitt much anguish. In various mournful Tweets, he also urged readers to contribute money to his CHONY 2012 campaign, which has since gone viral.
KPCC radio billboard ‘Occupied’ by KPFK radio listener
Much L.A. radio hay was made over the placing of a KPCC 89.3 FM billboard advertising its “Ideas not ideology” slogan practically on top my radio station’s studios at KPFK 90.7 FM, where I host the Pocho Hour of Power every Friday at 4 PM.
As I walked in today, I was alerted that someone had replaced the KPCC billboard with our own KPFK billboard. Didn’t know we had such a substantial advertising budget.
Nice job! (above photo by KPFK’s Ernesto Arce) Here’s the before picture:
Mexican Mitt has eye on enchilada for Super Taco Tuesday
With more than a dozen states and 437 delegates in play, Super Tuesday is the biggest contest of the GOP primaries since Newt Gingrich challenged Mexican Mitt Romney to a wife-off.
Mexican Mitt Romney vows to sweep today’s Super Taco Tuesday Republican presidential contest. “I will win not only the whole enchilada, but the additional taco, the rice and beans, plus the salad,” he told a rally. “And the corn or flour tortillas.”
“I am going to herd all the voters to vote for me like a herd of my chivos on my ranch. In other words, I will make sure you are herd. Herded. Whatevers! Ajua!”
Mas…Mexican Mitt has eye on enchilada for Super Taco Tuesday
Rush Limbaugh’s Pocho Ocho excuses for being a douchebag
Bloated talk show host and leader of the Republican party Rush Limbaugh has been abusing his broadcast microphone by viciously attacking, well, everyone, but most recently 30-year-old law student Sandra Fluke, calling her a “slut” and a “prostitute.”
He has since issued a weak apology, but his show continues to bleed sponsors and radio stations.
Here are his Pocho Ocho excuses for being a douchebag:
8. Skanks don’t get satire
7. Dennis Miller is my new staff writer
6. I jumped the whale
Mas…Rush Limbaugh’s Pocho Ocho excuses for being a douchebag
Rush Limbaugh, million dollar whore
Bloated drug addict and political hate merchant Rush Limbaugh has been losing advertisers on his hateful radio show since he called 30-year-old Georgetown University law student Sandra Fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute.” She merited this libelous statement apparently because she would dare to stand up for women’s health concerns and also use contraceptives. Yes, birth control.
Meet the Latinos who love Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio
On Sunday, newsman Jorge Ramos confronted Sheriff Joe Arpaio on Univision’s Al Punto and told Joe he was the face of racism to U.S. Latinos.
The much-maligned Maricopa County cop wouldn’t have any of that. “How do you know they don’t like me?” he asked. “They love me!”
It’s really true, because we found a lot of Latino love for Sheriff Joe Arpaio everywhere we asked.
Forget the Oscars, It’s The Hectors©! Pocho’s 1st Annual Awards
Behold, The Hectors©, Pocho’s own Oscars, bestowed for Excellence in Mockability.
The Hector© is named for my annoying cousin Hector, who is excellent at ruining family gatherings, especially when he has downed his third 12-pack. He hasn’t seen a film since Blood In, Blood Out.
And the Hector© goes to:
Best Actor in a Tragedy- goes to Newt Gingrich, for his remarkable portrayal of The One Supposedly Sane GOP Candidate
Best Special Effect- goes to Callista Gingrich’s hair.
Most Ignorant- Sen. Rick Santorum, for suggesting that anyone who wants kids to go to college is a “snob.”
Best Sound Effects Editing – Bad Lip Reading, for actually making Ron Paul make sense
Mas…Forget the Oscars, It’s The Hectors©! Pocho’s 1st Annual Awards
Organizations just about as diverse as the Oscars Academy of 2012
The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (AMPAS), commonly known as “the Academy,” has been recently profiled in the Los Angeles Times and, not surprisingly, exposed as one of the most exclusionary organizations in the United States.
The Academy is 94% white, 77% male and the average age of its voters is 62.
Basically the Academy is full of rich old white guys, and has a hard time explaining why it is not a modern day example of Apartheid.
POCHO researchers, however, have discovered that it’s not as bad as it looks, because there are other organizations that are only slightly less diverse than the Oscars Academy of 2012:
Mas…Organizations just about as diverse as the Oscars Academy of 2012
The Adventures of MR. POCHO: A movie for my people
MR. POCHO has a dream:
One day Hollywood will make a movie that reflects the struggle of my people, and it goes something like this…
Here’s a close up of his dream:
Pocho Ocho reasons Jan Brewer declined dinner at the White House
We already know mummy-like AZ Gov. Jan Brewer gets absolutely unraveled whenever she’s near Pres. Barack Obama. But why exactly did she decline to attend tomorrow’s Governor’s Dinner at the White House?
Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons Brewer did not accept the President’s invitation:
8– They could not guarantee her a seat next to the open bar
7– She’s going to be busy looking for heads in the desert
6– Sunday night is when she soaks her skin in formaldehyde
Mas…Pocho Ocho reasons Jan Brewer declined dinner at the White House
Happy Birthday, Chespirito!
POCHO wishes Roberto Gomez Bolaños — AKA “Chespirito” — a happy 83rd birthday.
Chespirito (Little Shakespeare) is Mexico’s most-beloved children’s comic, humorist and performer, creator of the iconic television shows El Chavo and El Chapulin Colorado.
El Chapulin is famously the inspiration for the Simpson’s “Bumblebee Man.” I was fortunate to have met Bolaños and his wife “Doña Florinda” at the Latino Book and Family Festival at Cal State L.A. in 2005.
His characters appeared on Mexican and Latin American television from 1970 to 1995, and at their peak had 350 million viewers. Chespirito continues to bring joy and risas to children all over Latin America and the U.S.
It’s Presidents Day: The good and the not so good (NSFW)
The Good:
George Washington’s birthday is a federal holiday celebrated on the third Monday of February in honor of George Washington, the first President of Los United Estates, AKA The Father of Our Country. Some people call it Presidents Day (sometimes spelled Presidents’ Day or President’s Day.)
The Not So Good:
Dave Chappelle isn’t so sure about George’s special day, right there in the middle of Black History Month (NSFW Video):
Mas…It’s Presidents Day: The good and the not so good (NSFW)
Mexican Mitt Romney: ‘Sheriff Paul Babeau’s GAYDAR got to the bottom of the illegal problem’
Anti-Immigrant Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu has resigned as Mitt Romney’s Arizona GOP Primary Campaign Co-Chair. Sheriff Babeu is facing explosive allegations that he tried to intimidate a former Mexican immigrant lover with deportation threats. Especial Guest Columnist Mexican Mitt Romney offers his Opinión:
Sheriff Babeu has stepped down from his volunteer position with the campaign so he can spend more time fighting with his gay mojado boyfriend.
I am so sad that Sheriff Babeu had to geu.
But he has a bigger fight on his hands than getting me elected President of the United Estates. Babeu is going to focus more on wrestling the problem of illegal immigration to the ground.
Sheriff Babeu is right when he says America’s head is buried in a pillow over immigration. Sheriff Babeu has always said he wants to get ahead of the mojados, and inside the illegals. Inside their minds! Ajua!
Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney: ‘Sheriff Paul Babeau’s GAYDAR got to the bottom of the illegal problem’
Standing While Brown: A white lady tried to get me to valet her car
Representing Pocho.com, I was a panelist along with a table full of young, savvy Latino digital media types as part of last night’s Digital LA Latino Content event.
Afterwards, I finished up networking and headed outside to leave. As I waited to get my car in front of the host restaurant in Beverly Hills, you’ll never guess what happened: A white lady tried to give me her car valet ticket. Twice.
You’ve heard this story a thousand times before; it’s a Latino cliché. Or is it a tradition?
Anglo person assumes brown person is a worker, there to serve them.
An old Chicano chestnut goes something like this:
I’m a Mexican-American, am married to a white woman, and I was mowing our lawn in front of our nice, big home. A white lady pulled up in a car and asked, “How much do you charge to mow a lawn?” My answer: Nothing. The lady of the house lets me sleep with her.
Mas…Standing While Brown: A white lady tried to get me to valet her car
Latino Cupid Valentine’s Day cards for tough times
That little love scamp Latino Cupid presents his special Valentine’s Day cards for tough times. As they say around here, Happy Valentimes Day! Catch more of Latino Cupid’s escapades around this time every year at La Cucaracha, the nationally-syndicated comic strip by me, Pocho’s Jefe-In-Chief Lalo Alcaraz. Sign up for free La Cucaracha comics daily at GoComics.
My cartoon tribute to Whitney Houston
Upon hearing the sad news of the sudden death of Whitney Houston, I knew I had to draw something to mark this tragic passing. Please share this page if you enjoy my simple cartoon tribute.
Coming soon: Gingrich’s moonbase documentary ‘Iron Sky’
A science fiction flick hitting theaters in April could turn out to be the SuperPAC-funded film that will finally get Newt Gingrich elected President of the United States.
It has all the elements of a hit movie: flying saucers, the moon, Nazis and Newt Gingrich!
Mississippi: Rename Gulf of Mexico to ‘Gulf of America’
A Mississippi state lawmaker introduced legislation Tuesday that would rename the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America.”
According to state Rep. Stephen Holland’s bill, the name would apply only to his home state, much to the relief of embarrassed neighboring states.
Ironically, Holland chose to rename this international body of water “Gulf of America,” not understanding that “America” is the name of the whole American hemisphere, mainly because the word “hemisphere” is twice as long as most words the average Mississippian legslator understands.
Clean sweep: Santorum not pooped out yet
(PNS reporting from THE HEARTLAND) Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum swept the nominating contests in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado Tuesday night, claiming, “My campaign is far from pooped out.”
The fiercest gay-baiting candidate in recent history, Santorum now has four victories under his belt in the GOP race, more than any other closeted candidate. “People were saying all along I had Big Mo, but they meant I was a big ‘mo.”
AZ official has a dream: White Appreciation Day
Cecil Ash has a dream — a dream that one day white people will have a day to celebrate their accomplishments.
Dubbed by some as the “White Martin Luther King Jr.,” Arizona State Rep. Cecil Ash (R-MESA) has long campaigned for wider recognition of the U.S.’s most invisible ethnic minority, white people.
Federal appeals panel overturns Proposition 8
The appeals panel of the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court in San Francisco ruled today that California’s ban on same-sex marriage violates the constitutional right to equal protection.
FLOTUS on healthy food for Chicano kids: Eat like Puerto Ricans
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Joining First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! initiative, Goya Foods, the largest Hispanic-owned U.S. food company, will help promote MiPlato, the USDA program designed to encourage children to make healthier eating choices.
“Today’s announcement is about eliminating diabetes in the Mexican-American community by helping them make better choices, and, with the help of Goya, forcing them to eat like Cubans and Puerto Ricans,” Obama said Friday.
“Everything that Goya is doing,” she said, “centers around a simple idea: this country’s Mexican children need to be told what to eat by a corporate conglomerate that mass-produces Caribbean food.”
Obama joined Goya president Bob Unanue and leading Latino organizations at a Tampa supermarket to promote healthy eating nationwide with a special focus on the incorrectly-nourished Mexican-American community.
Mas…FLOTUS on healthy food for Chicano kids: Eat like Puerto Ricans