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California Dreaming: Let’s merge prisons and schools to save money

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(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) The latest attempt to alleviate the Golden State’s fiscal problems comes from the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation (CDCR), which proposed the idea of merging with the California Department of Education (CDOE).

“After comparing the type of education that a student receives in the public school system with that offered to inmates in county jails, we have concluded that the level of education is about the same,” CDCR’s Planning Director Matthew Cole told a press conference here Monday.

“The overlap between the two systems creates enormous waste; therefore, we believe the state would save billions by having the Department of Corrections absorb the school system.”

Mas…California Dreaming: Let’s merge prisons and schools to save money

Mexclusive: Curiosity’s cameras photograph possible alien life-form

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BREAKING NEWS: The Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) in Pasadena has just released the first in a series of photographs from the Curiosity Mars Rover that appear to show a strange alien life-form on the surface of the Red Planet. POCHO is following the story and will bring you updates as they come in.

Ñewsweek: Ostriches attack, burritos offend and chickens go gay

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It was an ordinary day in an ordinary Mexican convenience store and recorded in grainy black and white by an ordinary surveillance video camera. And then the masked luchador entered – with a posse of ostriches.

This POCHO ñewsweek featured the Florida burritos with offensive names, chicken culture war hawk Col. Sanders’s statement on gay marriage and a chance for you to join Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz’s personal campaign to help the survivors of the Anaheim police department’s trigger-happy cops. Here are the links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Ostriches attack, burritos offend and chickens go gay

Community offers a loving goodbye to Lupe Ontiveros

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They say everyone loves you when you’re dead. Everyone can also love you when you’re alive, if you’re Lupe Ontiveros.

The funny, talented and bursting with life Mexican-American actress passed away last Thursday in Whittier, CA.

My son and I attended Lupe Ontiveros’ Rosary service last night in Pico Rivera to pay our last respects to Lupe and her family. (See my photo of program from the memorial service.)

It was overflowing with family, friends and fans. One of her three sons read an opening note (sent via Secretary of Labor Hilda Solis) from President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama,  a message of condolence from the White House.

Everybody in Chicano theater and film was there, including Zoot Suit playwright Luis Valdez, actor Edward James Olmos, Vanessa Marquez, Pepe Serna, Evelina Fernandez, the guys from Culture Clash, UFW co-founder Dolores Huerta, current UFW President Arturo Rodriguez and many more. A girl in a “Goonies Forever” T-shirt sat near us in the balcony.

Continued at NBC Latino…

Mexican Mitt Romney’s Pocho Ocho picks for Vice Presidente

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8. Mr. Clean:  Although a white male, not a very diverse pick, Mr. Clean makes Mexican Mitt’s hair stand out even more when they stand next to each other.

7. Quaker Oats Quaker:  Another white male, but this man’s religious values and the fact that he stands for America, makes him attractive to the Romney camp. It’s the right thing to do.

6. Uncle Ben:  Fight fire with fire! Mexican Mitt says  the best way to displace the first African-American president  is to bring along a black chef! Isaac Hayes was not available.

Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney’s Pocho Ocho picks for Vice Presidente

Lady Gaga’s Latino outreach money shot: New bra spurts salsa

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(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Lady Gaga — on tour to promote a new album — is showing off new red hot wardrobe performance pyrotechnics designed to appeal to Latinos.

The chanteuse commissioned a special exploding salsa bra (see artist’s rendering) and will personally dispense salsa into the tacos of Latinos across the country. Part of her tour will include special mini shows at taco stands across America.

As a followup to her hit song Alejandro, beloved by Latinos because of the title, Gaga’s new single is Tapa Tetas, a play on the name of the popular salsa, Tapatio. The song deals with a spicy Latina who is trying to find her place in the world.

Mas…Lady Gaga’s Latino outreach money shot: New bra spurts salsa

Col. Sanders on Chick-Fil-A: Gay? What’s the big clucking deal?

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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) Legendary chicken mogul Col. Harlan Sanders is a hawk in the chicken culture wars and he’s not afraid to let the whole clucking chicken world know it.

The white-haired international icon and Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food magnate today issued this statement:

I completely respect the Chick-Fil-A chicken restaurant business built by CEO Dan Cathy, and the Christian principles you espouse are fine as wine, but come on, give it a Goddamn rest. Are you selling chicken or your dumb-ass views? This guy is as full of wind as a corn-eating horse.

I personally don’t give a good Goddamn what the homos do in the privacy of their nicely-decorated bedrooms. Hell, they can do it in the bathroom of the KFC, I don’t give a June Bug’s nut sack! I just want their money. Do I hate gay marriage? Who gives a duck’s ass?! Buy some of my chicken. Come in with your flamin’ gay self and order a bucket of Original, Crispy, or BBQ. Hell, I might even come up with a new flavor, “Extra Gay”!

Mas…Col. Sanders on Chick-Fil-A: Gay? What’s the big clucking deal?

Anaheim police brutality protest t-shirt fundraiser

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Paypal button simplified! Please write in what size Tshirt you want, ie: S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL

I created the above image as a response to the outrageous and murderous police brutality by the Anaheim Police Department recently against two young men in the Anaheim barrio. The families are not only dealing with protesting against the Anaheim PD and City Hall, but also the costs of funerals for these two men, arguably executed by the Anaheim PD.

Mas…Anaheim police brutality protest t-shirt fundraiser

Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-a-Dee-Guns; Hola Anaheim, We’re Havin’ Fun

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Now in the shadows of the world’s most famous amusement park residents of Anaheim are bravely (and in some cases stupidly) confronting the Anaheim Police Department, an at times callous, authoritative government power that isn’t accustomed to being questioned even when it executes people. Crisis always spurs creativity and the most original ideas are presently forming outside of the gates of Disneyland.


Art by Lalo Alcaraz, photo by Johnny Nguyen.

Ñewsweek: Mea maxima culpa, Anaheim and RIP Lupe Ontiveros

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The death of beloved actress Lupe Ontiveros, the Pocho Ocho top Chicano sins and death and protest in Klanaheim topped the ñews this week on POCHO, and we’ve got links:

Lupe Ontiveros (1942-2012) RIP

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Funny and talented Mexican-American actress Lupe Ontiveros passed away last night in Whittier, CA. Lupe was an accomplished actress and community activist and will be missed.

Born in El Paso, TX on Sept. 17, 1942, she appeared in numerous films and television shows, including Selena, Real Women Have Curves, Southland, Desperate Housewives, Rob, Family Guy and many more.

Always ready to crack an off-color joke, Lupe was genial and hilarious and also brutally honest about her time in Hollywood.

Mas…Lupe Ontiveros (1942-2012) RIP

Mexican Mitt Romney: My Pocho Ocho top Tweets from England

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Ann is having having trouble taking dictation (her Blackberries are on the wrong side of the estreet or something) so here are my personal Pocho Ocho Top Tweets from England for ustedes:

8. Mexican Mitt Romney: DAMN THERE’S A LOT OF MUSLIMS HERE

7. Mexican Mitt Romney: WE’RE GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS IN DRESSAGE, BEECHES

6. Mexican Mitt Romney: WHERE’S THE NEAREST CHICK-A-FILA?

Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney: My Pocho Ocho top Tweets from England

Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics

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It was the best of ñewsweeks, it was the worst of ñewsweeks. It was a week of wisdom, it was a week of foolishness.

  • The Best: On HBO, George Lopez told Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio WTF he really thinks of him and the offended officer challenged the comic to a face-to-face discussion of the issues.
  • The Worst: The Aurora shooting raised a bat signal for gun control.

We’ve got the uncensored Lopez/Arpaio videos, the Lalo Alcaraz ‘Dark Knight’ cartoon that went viral and Comic-Con photos you won’t see anywhere else.

But wait, there’s more!

Mas…Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics

Dark Knight Colorado shooting cartoon by Lalo Alcaraz

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Everyone is horrified about another mass shooting, this one in a movie theater in Aurora, CO at a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises. Gun violence in the U.S. is the highest in the world, and we need to do something about it. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the dozen murdered victims and the over 50 wounded. This editorial cartoon can also be seen at my syndicate website, GoComics.com/laloalcaraz

Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Mitt Romney’s list of potential vice presidential running mates is now down to three finalists, campaign insiders report:

  • Wei Chen, Chengdu, Sichuan, China
  • Sadashiv Gupta, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
  • Ester Ramirez, San Antonio, San Miguel, El Salvador

All three offer various strengths to Romney.

Highly energetic Wei Chen is currently employed at the Foxconn plant in Chengdu, and makes iPads, although he has never seen the complete product.

“I wake up, go to work for 14 hours, then I go back home and go to bed, wake up and do it again,” says Chen, 25. “Being Mitt Romney’s running mate would be a welcome change to my schedule, and perhaps stifle my thoughts of suicide.”

Mas…Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names

Shocking Rush Limbaugh claim! President Obama is ‘The Darkie Knight’

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(PNS reporting from DITTOSTAN) Just a day after revealing that The Dark Knight Rises villain ‘Bane’ is actually Mitt Romney, Rush Limbaugh has uncovered  even more insidious left-wing propaganda in the eagerly-anticipated film:

The movie, Limbaugh told his radio audience, is part of the Kenyan Socialist media conspiracy and President Obama is “The Darkie Knight.”

“Friends, I am sitting here today in the EIB studio and I have to tell you, I am really, really, realllllly high. Have you guys seen this movie, what’s it called? Yeah, The Dark Knight? Wow…just wow…folks, it’s a real liberal whammy, OK? Uncle Rushbo is giving it to you straight here – I’ve seen the darkie knight and his name is Obama. Hang on a second, folks, I have to play with myself again,” Limbaugh said during yesterday’s program.

Mas…Shocking Rush Limbaugh claim! President Obama is ‘The Darkie Knight’

Ñewsweek: Mexican Mitt, NAACP, Craig Romney, ’50 Shades of Brown’

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GOP wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney tried his very best to appeal to the Colored People at their National Association’s annual convention; we’ve got the transcript.

And son Craig Romney tried his very best to appeal to Latinos in a Spanish-language ad for his dad. We translated the commercial for the Ingles-espeaking masses.

The publishing world looks to appeal to the hot and fiery soft-porn-loving Latina book-buying public with the upcoming Fifty Shades of Brown.  Can Big Books, Inc. tie up the mujeres’ market?

These big POCHO stories topped the exciting reportage roster that broke the ñews this week and here are the links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Mexican Mitt, NAACP, Craig Romney, ’50 Shades of Brown’

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