Espace age bachelor Esquivel’s ‘Mucha Muchacha’ (music video)

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Tap your tootsies, snap your fingers and enjoy a cerveza with one of espace age bachelor pad musical maestro Juan Garcia Esquivel’s greatest hits: Mucha Muchacha. And whistle. You know how to whistle, don’t you?

Wikipedia:

Juan García Esquivel (January 20, 1918 – January 3, 2002) often simply known as Esquivel!, was a Mexican band leader, pianist, and composer for television and films. He is recognized today as one of the foremost exponents of a sophisticated style of largely instrumental music that combines elements of lounge music and jazz with Latin flavors. Esquivel is sometimes called “The King of Space Age Pop” and “The Busby Berkeley of Cocktail Music.” Esquivel is considered one of the foremost exponents of a style of late 1950s-early 1960s quirky instrumental pop that became known (in retrospect) as “Space Age Bachelor Pad Music”.

Mexican Mitt Romney: My Pocho Ocho top Tweets from England

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Ann is having having trouble taking dictation (her Blackberries are on the wrong side of the estreet or something) so here are my personal Pocho Ocho Top Tweets from England for ustedes:

8. Mexican Mitt Romney: DAMN THERE’S A LOT OF MUSLIMS HERE

7. Mexican Mitt Romney: WE’RE GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS IN DRESSAGE, BEECHES

6. Mexican Mitt Romney: WHERE’S THE NEAREST CHICK-A-FILA?

Mas…Mexican Mitt Romney: My Pocho Ocho top Tweets from England

Kinky: In ‘Despues Del After’ a robot does the Chinese dougie (video)

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Monterrey technorock superstars Kinky and an illuminated robot amigo shot this new video in Shanghai, Beijing and Hong Kong. (Despues Del After = After the After.)

And we love this older (possibly NSFW: side boobs) English-language Kinky production with an eight-bit video game look, the band’s tribute to Those Girls:

Mas…Kinky: In ‘Despues Del After’ a robot does the Chinese dougie (video)

Mea maxima culpa: The Pocho Ocho top Chicano sins

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It’s rough being a Chicano, one little misstep and you can crap all over the sanctity of your Chicanismo. Here’s a list of the top eight Chicano sins you want to avoid, just in case you have trouble keeping track.

8. Changing your name to an Aztec name: If you’re Rosa, don’t pretend like you’re really Xochitl just because you joined MEChA. And that goes for you, too, Nezahualcoyotl, I mean Erick.

7. Confusing Emiliano Zapata with Pancho Villa: Yes, they both had mustaches, but not all Mexicans look the same. One of them was a revolutionary or something, right?

6. Talking shit about RATM: Every Chicano loves Rage Against The Machine, without question, everyone knows this. How dare you?!

Mas…Mea maxima culpa: The Pocho Ocho top Chicano sins

Scientists desecrate Mayan tomb of Chak, King of El Zotz (video)

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The desecration of Mayan heritage sites by so-called scientists continues in Guatemala, and the invaders just released a video to trumpet their “rediscovery” of the ancient Mayan Temple of the Night Sun near the town of El Zotz.

The interlopers will rediscover their fight or flight reactions on December 21 when they come face-to-face with the reincarnated spirit of Chak, who was once the King of El Zotz. The crew is currently looting Chak’s tomb.

From National Geographic:

Some 1,600 years ago, the Temple of the Night Sun was a blood-red beacon visible for miles and adorned with giant masks of the Maya sun god as a shark, blood drinker, and jaguar.

Mas…Scientists desecrate Mayan tomb of Chak, King of El Zotz (video)

Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero: What should I do with this large cash settlement?

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Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero:

I recently received a large cash settlement (six figures) after my Geo Metro was totalled at Melrose and La Cienega by Kim Kardashian’s shoe concierge.

After I pay off the remaining bills, I’ll have $100K in cash. What should I do with the money?

A Man Named Jed

Dear Jed:

Thank you for your over-written, obviously fake letter. Are you perchance referring to the Geo Metro with the new rims? Or am I just throwing in gratuitous links for SEO porpoises? (Whales, dolphins, sea lions, seals, baby seals.)

The real question is where do you, Mr. Nouveau Riche Jed, or whatever your name is, feel most comfortable on Dr. Dinero’s Pyramid of Risk and Reward.™

Can you handle the risk of losing everything or do you want safety even though it nets you less? In these tricky economic times, safety is the obvious choice. The riskier investments — higher on the pyramid — can pay off the most but they come with maximum probability of loss.

Mas…Dear Dr. Danilo Dinero: What should I do with this large cash settlement?

El Rey Del Art, painter of Arizona light, gone but not forgotten

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Crimson Justice‘Crimson Justice Swings by his Storage Unit for a Few Things’ by El Rey Del Art

He was the king of art, El Rey Del Art, and he painted flat bright canvases with the glare of Arizona. Landscapes. Animals. Superheroes and luchadores. Monkeys. Robots. Squids. Monkey robots. Monkey superheroes. The usual.

But then El Rey stopped painting the “real world,” dropped his art name and turned his attention to the virtual worlds of video games, which he paints in the style of the Fauvists, “characterized by seemingly wild brush work and strident colors.”

Check out his rendition of a favela in Brasil from Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2:

Mas…El Rey Del Art, painter of Arizona light, gone but not forgotten

Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio

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It is sometime in the near future.

Laws have been set in motion to protect the American Homeland. Your freedom and sanity are at stake. Oh, and your jobs.

I forgot about your jobs. And your beautifully domesticated wives and children. You pay your taxes, yet you feel one-upped. Lied to. I know. I have a mortgage and a timeshare I haven’t paid in months. Meanwhile our lazy neighbors to the south consume our resources. But there’s no need to fear. No longer do we have to sit in Victoria’s Secret as our wives are gawked at by gang-banging border hoppers. No. Victoria is just beyond the horizon. And one man risks it all in his comfy radio studio located somewhere in the Arizona desert.

That man is Lance Liberty for 101.3 Honest Radio. Take it away, Lance…

Mas…Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio

Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics

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It was the best of ñewsweeks, it was the worst of ñewsweeks. It was a week of wisdom, it was a week of foolishness.

  • The Best: On HBO, George Lopez told Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio WTF he really thinks of him and the offended officer challenged the comic to a face-to-face discussion of the issues.
  • The Worst: The Aurora shooting raised a bat signal for gun control.

We’ve got the uncensored Lopez/Arpaio videos, the Lalo Alcaraz ‘Dark Knight’ cartoon that went viral and Comic-Con photos you won’t see anywhere else.

But wait, there’s more!

Mas…Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics

A time-traveling flapper’s dilemma: ‘Clara’s Los Angeles’ (video)

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Clara’s Los Angeles (14:59): The last thing Clara Villanueva remembers was dancing the Charleston at Hollywood’s Ambassador Hotel in 1926. When she wakes up on a park bench in modern downtown Los Angeles, she has a lot of catching up to do.

Marissa Chibas wrote, produced, directed and starred in this video, shot downtown and in Silverlake, Los Feliz and Hollywood. (Silent movie, with instrumental soundtrack and English/Spanish title cards.)

Dark Knight Colorado shooting cartoon by Lalo Alcaraz

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Everyone is horrified about another mass shooting, this one in a movie theater in Aurora, CO at a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises. Gun violence in the U.S. is the highest in the world, and we need to do something about it. Our thoughts and prayers are with the families of the dozen murdered victims and the over 50 wounded. This editorial cartoon can also be seen at my syndicate website, GoComics.com/laloalcaraz

Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) Mitt Romney’s list of potential vice presidential running mates is now down to three finalists, campaign insiders report:

  • Wei Chen, Chengdu, Sichuan, China
  • Sadashiv Gupta, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
  • Ester Ramirez, San Antonio, San Miguel, El Salvador

All three offer various strengths to Romney.

Highly energetic Wei Chen is currently employed at the Foxconn plant in Chengdu, and makes iPads, although he has never seen the complete product.

“I wake up, go to work for 14 hours, then I go back home and go to bed, wake up and do it again,” says Chen, 25. “Being Mitt Romney’s running mate would be a welcome change to my schedule, and perhaps stifle my thoughts of suicide.”

Mas…Mexclusive: Romney’s VP short list is now down to three names

Goth industrial post-punk dark wave Veronica: ‘Naked’ (music video)

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“I dance all night, I’m trouble every day!”

Veronica “marks its corner of the sandbox with disdain and rancor. Frontman Omar’s voice traces base desires along electronic body music lines with Marilyn Manson-meets-Orgy groans. Naked is a stripped, raw and tightly magnificent pause in the happy-pop-fed masses’ pathetic existence,” José Benavides writes over at Remezcla, and who are we to disagree? One minute and 38 seconds of WIN from these Brooklyn pochos.

Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your chicken wings: Rape jokes!

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I’ve been operating under the assumption that the average man has no love in his heart.

It’s a strange subconscious feeling that slowly crept into my daily life. I think, however, media played a bigger role in its development than my real interactions with others.

I know it’s not true, and up until recently, I wasn’t even aware that I felt that way.

I was thinking about the whole Daniel Tosh rape thing and I just thought to myself: Well, what do you expect? Men are not capable of love.

It was more than just a fleeting thought. It was a foundational belief that has been shaping how I look at the world.

I have to admit, when you see the position of women in our world, it’s hard to believe men can love. When men call us sluts and whores and cunts, it’s hard to believe they feel any ounce of love.  When you see the rape statistics, when you meet victims of rape, when you yourself have been assaulted, it’s really hard to think men can love.

However, bringing it back to Tosh, that doesn’t mean rape can’t be funny.

Rape victims are not fragile damaged hysterical women who burst into crying fits every time someone says the word rape. Actually, I’ve known both male and female rape victims who can find a rape joke funny because they don’t define who they are as a “rape victims.” They are just people who got raped.

Indulge me as I further illustrate my point.

Mas…Hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your chicken wings: Rape jokes!

Dear Abuelita: Wife and lover, my ring-a-ding, trouble at the zoo

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Dear Abuelita:
Is it possible to love two women at the same time? You see, I love my wive and I would do anything for her, but I also love my secret lover who inspires me in different ways that my wife does not. I make more love to my secret lover than to my wife. I think both of my loves complement my needs and I need both of them to be at peace.
Signed, Confused But Happy

Dear Con Fundio,
Don’t act like a tonto by saying you’d do anything for your wife. If you really meant it you would dump the hoochie coochie you have on the side and be a devoted husband. You’re so full of mierda, you need a lavativa not a lover.

Of course both your “loves” complement your needs. You’re a sin verguenza. Have you ever thought of the needs of your two women? How much are you offering them? I wouldn’t blame them if they had some one else on the side as well. Would serve you right.

Your pregunta is the biggest load of cacagada I’ve seen since my sancho plugged the toilet with one of his massive camotes.
Me da asco, cabron, Tu Abuelita

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Wife and lover, my ring-a-ding, trouble at the zoo

Shocking Rush Limbaugh claim! President Obama is ‘The Darkie Knight’

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(PNS reporting from DITTOSTAN) Just a day after revealing that The Dark Knight Rises villain ‘Bane’ is actually Mitt Romney, Rush Limbaugh has uncovered  even more insidious left-wing propaganda in the eagerly-anticipated film:

The movie, Limbaugh told his radio audience, is part of the Kenyan Socialist media conspiracy and President Obama is “The Darkie Knight.”

“Friends, I am sitting here today in the EIB studio and I have to tell you, I am really, really, realllllly high. Have you guys seen this movie, what’s it called? Yeah, The Dark Knight? Wow…just wow…folks, it’s a real liberal whammy, OK? Uncle Rushbo is giving it to you straight here – I’ve seen the darkie knight and his name is Obama. Hang on a second, folks, I have to play with myself again,” Limbaugh said during yesterday’s program.

Mas…Shocking Rush Limbaugh claim! President Obama is ‘The Darkie Knight’

My photos from Comic-Con 2012 San Diego (and some extras)

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Can you spot the drunken alien?

I made my regular trek to San Diego this past weekend for the Comic-Con orgy of cosplay and mass-media promotion and I’ve got the pics to prove it.

I had signings, slideshows, spoke at an inner-city “Counter Con” to promote the comic arts to kids and grabbed super chingon Simpsons creator Matt Groening and begged him draw a sketch at MY signing. (Sorry, Matt.) I also chased nerdos y nerdas in their Latino-inspired costumes and snapped photos of them.

I undertake this trying mission to document parts of the ultra-crowded convention so that you don’t have to go and get constantly elbowed in the knees by ewoks. Or have to hear fundamentalist Christian preachers warning throngs of people dressed as aliens that they are “going to burn in hell.”

Live long and prosper, and enjoy the show!

Peep the photo gallery here:

Mas…My photos from Comic-Con 2012 San Diego (and some extras)

Las Cafeteras: ‘La Bamba Rebelde’ from East Los (music video)

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East Los Angeles’ Las Cafeteras walk the walk with this rebel version of La Bamba. “Yo no soy marinero” becomes “Yo no creo en fronteras” and “Soy capitan” is now “Yo cruzare.” Son jarocho and alt.folklorico rootsy ritmo manifest the Spanish lyrics in sound, and we must offer POCHO props for super location videography in the hood!

Here’s an audio only version:

And did you know you could make your own cajon just like in the video (that’s the box drum)? We’ve got links and stuff.

Mas…Las Cafeteras: ‘La Bamba Rebelde’ from East Los (music video)

Pocho Ocho Mexican products unlikely to make it in the U.S.

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Remember how Chevrolet totally FAILED when they introduced the Chevy Nova (photo) because “no va” means “it doesn’t go” in Spanish and people all over Latin America just laughed and laughed at the stupid gringos and didn’t buy any Novas? That story is bullshit.

But English en Espanol can be as wack as Spanish in Ingles, and that’s why these Pocho Ocho Mexican products have bleak sales prospects in Los United Estates:

8. Bicho Killer insecticide

7. Her Pez canned tuna

6. Golden Piscina bubble bath

Mas…Pocho Ocho Mexican products unlikely to make it in the U.S.

Ñewsweek: Mexican Mitt, NAACP, Craig Romney, ’50 Shades of Brown’

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GOP wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney tried his very best to appeal to the Colored People at their National Association’s annual convention; we’ve got the transcript.

And son Craig Romney tried his very best to appeal to Latinos in a Spanish-language ad for his dad. We translated the commercial for the Ingles-espeaking masses.

The publishing world looks to appeal to the hot and fiery soft-porn-loving Latina book-buying public with the upcoming Fifty Shades of Brown.  Can Big Books, Inc. tie up the mujeres’ market?

These big POCHO stories topped the exciting reportage roster that broke the ñews this week and here are the links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Mexican Mitt, NAACP, Craig Romney, ’50 Shades of Brown’

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