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Inspired by Snoop Lion? Mexico wants to change its name, too

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I was once reading a delightful conversation online between inbred racist trolls on their favorite punching bag, Mexico; they joked about making Mexico the “51st state.”

One idiot brilliantly observed that this genius plan might not work because “I think they have states, too.”

Wow. Yes, Mexico has 31 states, and one Federal District,  presumably where the Federales park their horses. (A little backwater ranchito called Mexico City.)

But Mexico, as it turns out, also doesn’t have the name “Mexico.”

On its independence from madre España in 1821, Mexico became the Estados Unidos Mexicanos or “Mexican United States.” It’s said that  this United States-like name inspired the also freedom-loving people south of the border, and the name became official in 1824.

Outgoing Mexican President Felipe Calderon just sent the Mexican Congress proposed legislation to change the country’s name officially to simply “Mexico.”

Mas…Inspired by Snoop Lion? Mexico wants to change its name, too

POCHO Estaff Reports: The Real Turkeys of Thanksgiving

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POCHO’s Especial Correspondents spread out across America yesterday observing Thanksgiving (just like normal people!) and sent in notes about their day. Some names were changed to avoid unpredictable results.  Read their stories and share your own in the comments!

Homeboy in East Los: My family’s so Mexican we carved the turkey with a switchblade ·IN MEMORY of SMILEY·

Dateline, Austin: MEChA cousin Xochiloctl is in the living room refusing to eat turkey and playing Call of Duty instead.

Nancy in Santana, the O.C.: That awkward moment when three-year-old Cousin Ricardo makes a big announcement that everybody better finish their plates because Mommy spent the whole day cooking the dog.

Mas…POCHO Estaff Reports: The Real Turkeys of Thanksgiving

To: sw6n-34kd31fa8@dcjobs.craigslist.org  Re: GOP Latino Wrangler

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Dear Party of Lincoln:
I am very interested in the Latino Wrangler opening at the Republican National Committee you advertised on CraigsList.

My wife is half Mexican, my son is one-quarter Mexican and I have been to Mexico four times for cheap lobster, not that anyone's ethnicity would be used as a qualification for this job. I'm white, of course.

Mas...To: sw6n-34kd31fa8@dcjobs.craigslist.org  Re: GOP Latino Wrangler

Pleased as ponche, Tres Flores triplets give company to workers

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(PNS reporting from ALTADENA) Pleased with the reelection of the President, thrilled to provide Obamacare for their employees and acknowledging their loyal workers built a small family firm into a billion-dollar corporation, the three siblings who own the Tres Flores Corporation are giving their company to their staff.

Abelardo, Bernardo and Chichi Flor — 83-year-old triplets who gave Tres Flores their name — started bottling home-made hair oil in a garage in this L.A. suburb over 50 years ago. Tres Flores is now a worldwide operation that employes 600 people and has facilities in Southern California, Louisiana and New Jersey.

“We’re retiring and we don’t have any heirs,” oldest triplet Abelardo (born 20 minutes before brother Bernardo) told a press conference this morning. “We’ve been approached to sell the firm, but we couldn’t think of anyone better to run it than the folks who have been with us all these years.”

“Shaddap, Lardo,” Bernardo responded. “I would have an heir if you hadn’t scared away Selena Valderrama with that Migra Maus costume on Halloween in 1974!”

Mas…Pleased as ponche, Tres Flores triplets give company to workers

Pocho Ocho ‘gifts’ Democrats gave Latinos to vote for Obama

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Loser and liar Willard “Mitt” Romney finally got something correct! The overwhelming Latino margin for President Bronco Bama was entirely due to “gifts” the Democrats used as bribes. Here are the top eight:

8. Taco Tuesdays covered by Obamacare
7. Rick Bayless gets full-time gig with Food and Drug Administration (Drug Division)
6. New “path to citizenship:” SuperLotto

Mas…Pocho Ocho ‘gifts’ Democrats gave Latinos to vote for Obama

Ñewsweek: Adios to Florida, viral Latinophilia, hot sex escandal

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Florida once against led the nation in advanced asshattery (Arizona — step up your game!) as it became the first state to actually secede from the United Estates, thanks to President Bronco Bama’s “Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out” declaration.

In East Los, gangbangers finally got their chance to do it Ganga/Gangnam style with Don Cheto, and across America many right-wing racists seemed to be suffering from an infection of acute contagious Latinophilia, with Fox-head Sean Hannity leading the pack of patients.

And then there was the shock resignation of Maria Cholula after revelations of her affair with Tagberto Tapatio.

We have all the big ñews links here:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Adios to Florida, viral Latinophilia, hot sex escandal

Florida secedes from the union, no one seems to care very much

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(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) In a shocking post-election development, the state formerly known as Florida will no longer be a part of the United States of America. After gaining the required 25,000 petition signatures needed to elicit a response from the White House, Florida has been granted permission to secede from the U.S.

When asked why he was so swift to let the Sunshine State go, President Bronco Bama was concise:

Because fuck Florida.

As the dust settled in the wake of the President’s decisive re-election, the White House “We the People” website has been flooded by a series of secession requests from conservative crybabies from New Jersey to Oregon.

Mas…Florida secedes from the union, no one seems to care very much

Contagious Latinophilia hits U.S.; Boehner, Hannity, Arpaio infected

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) Public health officials are concerned about contagious Latinophilia that has spread with breathtaking speed across America since Bronco Bama’s reelection last week.

Former anti-Latino pundits and politicians who for years went out of their way to make life miserable for Latinos are now succumbing to what scientists believe may be a viral condition.

“Almost immediately after the election — which may have been decided by the massive Latino vote — reports began flooding our offices,” Robert McLean, Director of Public Health Outbreaks at the Centers for Disease Control in Washington, D.C. said this morning at a press conference.

“All across the nation an increasing number of white men have expressed a new need to reach out to Latinos,” he said.

Mas…Contagious Latinophilia hits U.S.; Boehner, Hannity, Arpaio infected

Maria Cholula resigns as company president, cites affair with Tapatio

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(PNS reporting from JALISCO) Maria Cholula resigned Monday night as president of the Mexican hot sauce company that bears her name, citing a brief affair with Tagberto Tapatio, who heads a competing corporation. Her resignation follows a Facebook posting of a blurred photo of the executive with her picante amigo.

Maria Cholula founded the company in 1989 and sold it to Jose Cuervo S.A. de C.V. 10 years later, but continued to run the local firm. Tapatio, an American company headquartered in Southern California, is considered to be Cholula’s top competitor in the Mexican-style hot sauce category.

Mas…Maria Cholula resigns as company president, cites affair with Tapatio

@MexicanMitt Romney tells all in first post-defeat interview (audio)

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@MexicanMitt Romney phoned public radio station KUNM in New Mexico Monday night for his first post-election interview. The Twitter Idol liberally assigned blame for his defeat by Bronco Bama, reminisced about the fireworks he planned to set off had he juan and revealed he’s still on the lookout for his missing running mate Pollo Ryan. Here’s the interview from the program RAICES.

For the Veterans: Anti-war poem from WWI: ‘Dulce et decorum est’

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Wilfred Owen

Today we observe Veterans Day, AKA Armistice Day, which marks the end of the first World War.

Dulce et Decorum est is a poem written by poet Wilfred Owen in 1917, during the War, and published posthumously in 1920. Owen’s poem is known for its horrific imagery and condemnation of war.

They don’t use poison gas any more but phosphorous flares and drone strikes aren’t much fun either.

POCHO dedicates this poem to all our veterans in gratitude for their service and sacrifice and with the hope no child will ever be sent into war again.

Mas…For the Veterans: Anti-war poem from WWI: ‘Dulce et decorum est’

Ñewsweek: Bronco Bama reelected, @MexicanMitt Romney concedes

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President Bronco Bama was reelected this week despite the valiant campaign mounted by Juan Percenter @MexicanMitt Romney; the Mexi-Mormon challenger released a last-minute campaign espeech and animated music video which were very popular on POCHO but apparently didn’t help in Ohio, Florida and Pennsylvania.

POCHO’s ñews-breaking coverage included toons by Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz, election recaps and a look at what’s up next for the former first lady in waiting Ann Romney.

Cable TV star Don Cheto make a video Gangnam Style and a huge OVNI/UFO was filmed flying down into Mexico’s Popocatapetl volcano.

The links are here:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Bronco Bama reelected, @MexicanMitt Romney concedes

@MexicanMitt Romney’s final concession espeech [complete text]

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[EDITOR’S NOTE: @MexicanMitt Romney, the Twitter sensation, has graced us with the complete text of his concession speech upon losing to President Barack Obama. Enjoy this heart-wrenching espeech, gueyes.]

AJUA!

GREETINGS MY GUEYES!

I HAVE CALLED BLACK REAGAN AND CONCEDED THAT HE CHEATED BETTER THAN I DID. SHOUT OUT to his wife and her sister-wives.

I WANT TO THANK my running mate POLLO RYAN FOR NADA, NALGAS, EL ZILCHO.

We didn’t win his home estate of Wisconsin. He couldn’t even get us the Munsters vote, ESMALL AS THAT IS.

IF ANYONE knows where he has been for the last three weeks, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Mas…@MexicanMitt Romney’s final concession espeech [complete text]

Loser Mitt Romney has the sad: He’s unemployed and part of 47%

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(PNS reporting from BOSTON) Mitt Romney woke up a broken man Wednesday morning and experienced something unimaginable: He had become part of the 47%.

“I never thought this would happen to me; my whole life has been turned upside-down,” he told PNS.

A moping Romney emerged from his down-quilted bed and silk sheets at about 7AM and wandered down to breakfast where his staff had  prepared  farm-raised, hand-fed chicken eggs with organic arugula imported from South America and water imported from France. And then he made the call he had been dreading — a call to his chauffeur, Carlos Peres.

Dejected Romney then began one of the hardest car rides in the back of a custom-made limousine of his life: to the nearest office of Massachusetts’ Department of Unemployment Assistance.

Mas…Loser Mitt Romney has the sad: He’s unemployed and part of 47%

Exclusive preview of Ann Romney’s Food Blog: The Electric Stove

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(PNS reporting from BOSTON) With the election totally over, Ann Romney is free to pursue her true passion: cooking dinner every night for her large family and sharing Romney recipes.

Here’s exclusive preview of the Breakfast Club section of Ann’s upcoming food blog The Electric Stove:

White Toast

This is a very old family recipe dating back generations!

Little known fact: my Great Aunt Jebadisa was a leading pioneer in the Women’s Pre-Sliced White Bread Movement. When I think about the sacrifices she made, slicing each piece individually and toasting each slice by candle fire, I nearly break down and weep.

Mas…Exclusive preview of Ann Romney’s Food Blog: The Electric Stove

La Jolla cops on alert after dog shit bag trick at Romney beach house

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(PNS reporting from LA JOLLA) Police in this pricey San Diego barrio are on alert after “an intruder or intruders” slipped onto the Romney family’s secluded beachfront property early this morning, left a flaming paper bag of what is believed to be dog shit on the front porch, rang the doorbell and fled into the fog.

The multi-million dollar home, located at 311 Dunemere Dr. has been the target of repeated protests.

Mas…La Jolla cops on alert after dog shit bag trick at Romney beach house

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