Pocho Ocho worst possible summer vacation destinations

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School’s out, summer’s in. Where you going for vacation? Huh? We asked you a question!

OK then.  Be that way. Two can play that game. Here’s our list of the Pocho Ocho worst possible vacation destinations:

8. Community service. Were you volunteered? Court-ordered? Did your mom rope you into it? Whether it’s babysitting bratty kids at church or painting over graffiti-ed walls that will be covered in new graffiti by the next morning, there’s nothing quite like serving your community.

7. The public pool. Why such a drag? Probably because it’s about 60% chlorine and 40% other peoples’ urine. Swim away!

6. Your family’s rancho in the old country. No running water, no AC, no TP, you may not speak the language, no TV, no Internet, your relatives laugh at you behind your back — or to your face — and you have no escape until your parents come back for you.

5. Sleeping under a cactus with your tío. What? Do Mexicans not do that anymore?

Mas…Pocho Ocho worst possible summer vacation destinations

Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’

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The fearless frackers at the dead Breitbart blog (screen capture, right) are all outraged about a so-called “security action” before the President’s speech last week at the NALEO conference:

Judging from Obama’s actions at this years National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO) luncheon, Obama’s newest fear is Latinos with forks. Obama had the Secret Service confiscate all the dinner forks from the participants at the June 22 event held in Orlando, Florida.

Hats off,  Breitbarfers! You discovered a new conspiracy where none existed before, and you didn’t have to use deceptively-edited video to make your fake-ass point.

Mas…Brave right-wing bloggers expose Obummer’s ‘Operation Fork & Furious’

Pochas y pochos, beware! Aqua Net hairspray may cause mutations

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(PNS reporting from NEW NEW YORK CITY) Attention, pochas y pochos! Interstellar starship captain and Mutants’ Rights advocate Turanga Leela is warning of serious side-effects from a popularly-priced hair care product you may be using at this very moment.

Leela thinks her late mother Munda’s use of Aqua Net hairspray is the reason she’s a loveless mutant with only one eye, and says the ingredient cyclopentasiloxane is the culprit.

“I mean the name STARTS with cyclop, how did people miss that?” she asked a press conference in New New York City Sunday (photo, above.)

Aqua Net hairspray is a must-carry purse item for every well-prepared pocha, according to a recent survey, and is used as a “bug spray, deodorant and a…substitute for glue.”

Mas…Pochas y pochos, beware! Aqua Net hairspray may cause mutations

Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling

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Some Arizonans were elated that the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that one key part of SB1070 is constitutional at the same time three other portions were overturned in today’s 5-3 opinion.

The part ruled constitutional requires an officer to make a reasonable attempt to determine the immigration status of a person stopped, detained or arrested if there’s reasonable suspicion that person is in the country illegally. Anything from sombreros to brown skin may allow police to inquire about one’s immigration status.

Reactions from a random sampling of Arizonans were positive and optimistic.

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer’s bony-ass mummy finger was held high in the air upon hearing of the mixed decision: “We Kept ONE! We Kept ONE!” The aged papyrus-skinned governor declared victory: “The Supremes voided much of SB1070 but let us keep my favorite part– profiling those smooth-skinned Mexicans.”

Mas…Random sampling of Arizonans elated by SCOTUS SB1070 ruling

Truth exposed at last! What goes on behind the white door? (video)

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If you’re black, you don’t know. If you’re brown, you remain in the dark. Red or yellow? Ditto — the Secret World of White People is hidden from your view. Reporter Ed Murphy goes under cover as a white guy to find out what’s behind the white door. The moral of the story? Be kind to your web-footed friends.

Driving While Brown? Try ‘Arizona-me’ (SB1070 NSFW video) *UPDATED

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UPDATED JUNE 25: Now that the Supreme Court says it’s OK for Arizona’s cops to continue their demands for “papers,” this advice video for folks contemplating a drive through the Hate State of Arizona is even more critical. From Familia del Barrio. Watch and learn!

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(MARCH 24) The U.S. Supreme Court today hears the appeal from proponents of the racist Arizona SB1070 law, which legalized racial profiling in the Hate State. Long before this vile measure was challenged by legal experts, it was spoofed by in the Mexican cartoon series Familia del Barrio.

Their animated episode Arizona-me details how the cartoon family wanted to cope with this foul attack on immigrants. Click the [CC] button for English closed captions. (NSFW language Spanish and English.)

And look below to see how their fans coped. 

Mas…Driving While Brown? Try ‘Arizona-me’ (SB1070 NSFW video) *UPDATED

Pocho Ocho fascinating hidden powers of Latino food!

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Previously on POCHO:

But is that the end of the fascinating food factorama? No guey! Check out these eight other hidden powers of Comida Latina:

8. You can use beans to power a moped
7. Vegetarianism is a gateway to loose American values
6. Eating a boiled duck egg fetus cures impotence
5. You can help end world hunger by eating more, mijo

Mas…Pocho Ocho fascinating hidden powers of Latino food!

Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM

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Happy End of Slavery Day. Enjoy your new shackles!

Arizona’s notorious Sheriff Joe Arpaio tried to save his flailing career with an arrest of a six-year-old cartel leader, GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney totally tripped over his tootsies again, the Nutmeg State joined the future for lonche with the approval of Medical Menudo (MM),  Adidas stepped in it big time with their slavery-themed sneakers and Facebook gave everyone a new finger.

These POCHO stories broke the news this week. We’ve got the links and more:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM

Video Double Feature: Sometimes a bicycle is more than a bicycle

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The Okra Planter
The Old Bicycle

A bicycle is just basic transportation, really. Wheels, metal tubes, chains, gears, rubber, grease, paint if you’re lucky, a basket and maybe a bell. Yet sometimes it’s a vehicle that binds fathers and daughters together.

Brasil sends us the multi-award-winning O Plantador de Quiabos (the okra planter) in Portuguese with English subtitles and from San Francisco’s Mission District comes a documentary that introduces us to the family behind La Bicicleta Vieja (the old bicycle), Spanish with English subtitles.

Enjoy these two shorts – our Sabado Pochonte Double Feature!

Mas…Video Double Feature: Sometimes a bicycle is more than a bicycle

Konichi-wa, homie, from Japan’s cholos, lowriders y Chicano rappers

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Invasion, “Asia graffiti & lifestyle magazine,” writes:

Two parts of Chicano hip-hop culture in particular have become popular in Japan:
the music, and the cars. When the Japanese do Chicano rap, they still rap in Japanese
instead of English, Spanish, or some mixture of the two. But the beat, the clothes
and the look are quite matched.

Peep this short video of Japanese lowrider hydraulics:

Mas…Konichi-wa, homie, from Japan’s cholos, lowriders y Chicano rappers

Facebook rolls out new ‘Enhanced Liking’ feature to all users

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(PNS reporting from SILICON VALLEY) Social networking giant Facebook rolled out a new feature to its nearly one billion users today: Enhanced Liking, which CEO Mark Zuckerberg says gives users the option to waste even more time on the site.

The current Like version allows users to give a thumb’s up on their friends’ status updates, photos, and just about anything else they do on the Web. Enhanced Liking  means a user can Like a Like, and so on, in endless iterations.

Zuckerberg said the concept of Enhanced Liking came to him years ago when he was got lost driving to see his friend and mentor Steve Jobs at Apple headquarters. “The address, dude, the address,” he said.

Zuckerberg finally made it to Apple, located at 1 Infinite Loop in Cupertino.

Mas…Facebook rolls out new ‘Enhanced Liking’ feature to all users

Pocho Ocho other things banned in Houston beside piñatas

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In the suburbs of Houston – Harris County, TX – officials are reviewing a controversial policy that prohibits piñatas in certain county parks after Tony Diaz of Librotraficantes questioned the rule and signs that singled out piñatas:

It’s mind-boggling. Why be so culturally specific? If you want to say ‘No littering,’ then say ‘No littering.’ But this is like saying, ‘No Mexicans.’

We had to ask: What are the Pocho Ocho other things that are banned in Houston aside from piñatas?

8. Eating tacos without a fork

7. Parking cars on blocks

6. Sleeping under a cactus

Mas…Pocho Ocho other things banned in Houston beside piñatas

Connecticut becomes 17th state to OK ‘Medical Menudo’

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The beef-stomach soup is 'la cura' for hangovers

(PNS reporting from the NUTMEG STATE) Connecticut became the 17th state to approve Medical Menudo yesterday when the state’s Senate gave overwhelming approval to a bill passed earlier by the Assembly.

“This is a new dawn for all Connecticutitians,” Sen. Juan Gopher (D-Bridgeport) told supporters. “The days of twitching, throbbing and sobbing alcohol victims waiting on sketchy corners for their menudo are over.”

The legislation, which awaits the expected approval of Gov. Nancy Wyman, allows non-profit collectives to dispense Medical Menudo (MM) to patients with a mariachi’s recommendation.

Prospective MM patient Rocio Balboa appeared excited by the news. “Gaaaaaaaah! My head. Ooook. It’s so bright. And stop shouting!” she told PNS.

But the policy does not enjoy universal support.

Mas…Connecticut becomes 17th state to OK ‘Medical Menudo’

Mitt Romney and Latinos: Something has gone wrong *UPDATED

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Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz commented on this story for NBC Latino *UPDATED 6/22

The Mitt Romney presidential campaign, both online and offline, is the gang that can’t shoot straight.

From the Mitt Romney mobile app that spells “America” as “Amercia” to the RNC Latino outreach poll that Obama won, and the ignorant use of a stock photo of Asian kids as Latino kids, the Romney GOP Presidential campaign seems to be run by an Amish IT team.

On June 19, a tipster sent POCHO the url to www.mittromney.com/latinos, and when we typed it in, we got this simply hilarious clip art donkey 404 page. (Get it? the Democratic donkey indicates an error! Priceless.) along with the prescient message that pretty much sums up Mitt Romney’s and the Republicans predicament with Latinos, “SOMETHING SEEMS TO HAVE GONE WRONG.”

Refresh, Mitt, refresh.

……..
Sorry about the autoplay, pochos, and the pinche Flash video. That’s the way NBC rolls.

La Chilindrina announces her retirement — she finally ‘hit puberty’

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La Chilindrina has officially retired.

The lovable freckled child star and a main character of El Chavo del Ocho is saying adios to her 40-year entertainment career.

La Chilindrina gave POCHO an exclusive interview after the recent Univision television upfronts and said the main reason for ending her long run as La Chilindrina is that she “finally hit puberty:”

I think I’m ready to go out and see the world, maybe explore some of these weird feelings I’m having.

Confiding that it was getting awkward working with her male co-workers, half of whom she had a crush on — causing her to flub her lines — she confessed she can no longer fit into her costumes since she now needs a real brassiere instead of a training bra.

Mas…La Chilindrina announces her retirement — she finally ‘hit puberty’

Sheriff Joe arrests six-year-old girl suspected of leading cartel

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Cártel de Elmo de Los Cookie Monster Ganga is notorious for its brutal den and kitchen invasion robberies according to Arpaio

(PNS reporting from SESAME STREET) On the same day that President Obama announced an immigration policy that will make it easier for young undocumented immigrants to remain in Los United Estates, Arizona’s numero uno douchebag, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, announced the arrest of a six-year-old girl suspected of leading the infamous Cártel de Elmo de Los Cookie Monster Ganga.

The Arizona Bugle reported that the girl was with 15 other cartel members who were traveling to the Midwest and northeast United States. Also arrested: Big Bird, Mr. Snuffleupagus, Prairie Dawn, Curly Bear, Bert, Grover and Guy Smiley. According to Chris Hegstrom, spokesman for the Sheriff’s Office, this is the “single biggest cartel bust” in Maricopa County history.

And even though the girl was old enough to get arrested, she was not old enough to have her name released, according to Hegstrom. “This is huge for us and for Joe – just huge. Arpaio is an expert when it comes to sleuthing dangerous things…like children and phony birth certificates.”

Mas…Sheriff Joe arrests six-year-old girl suspected of leading cartel

Adidas honors Juneteenth by releasing ‘Shackle’ sneakers

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Adidas and fashion designer Jeremy Scott honored the nation’s Juneteenth holiday today by releasing the new JS Shackles sneakers, which feature orange plastic cuffs, evoking the très à la mode suffering of black slaves in 19th Century America.

Juneteenth, also known as Freedom Day or Emancipation Day, honors African-American  heritage by commemorating the announcement of the abolition of slavery in Texas in 1865.

Adidas’ celebratory post on Facebook went up with the question: “Got a sneaker game so hot you lock your kicks to your ankles?” Many FB users commented that the shoes as “slave wear” and asking why anyone would want to voluntarily wear shackles.

Mas…Adidas honors Juneteenth by releasing ‘Shackle’ sneakers

Lasers in the Honduran jungle pinpoint lost White City of Gold

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The University of Houston and National Center for Airborne Laser Mapping team produced this 3D digital topological map which when examined shows a man-made plaza ringed in red

They tried to discredit the calendars that clearly show the Mayan Doomsday Apocalypse is set for December. They laughed at the evidence of Ancient Astronauts who worked with indigenous people to build the pyramids of Aztlan. But now their own lasers — lasers controlled by a university named after the man who ripped Tejas away from La Raza — now their lasers have found Ciudad Blanca, the legendary lost “White City” of gold in Honduras. Who is laughing now?

The University of Houston reports:

A field team from the University of Houston and the National Science Foundation (NSF) National Center for Airborne Laser Mapping (NCALM) has mapped a remote region of Honduras that may contain the legendary lost city of Ciudad Blanca.

Mas…Lasers in the Honduran jungle pinpoint lost White City of Gold

Republican ‘Latino outreach’ website confused by non-white kids

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Website screen capture shows GOP's outsourced Asian kids

RNCLatinos.com, the Republican National Committee’s new Latino outreach website, is apparently a laboratory for developing new ways of screwing up Latino outreach.

Last week RNCLatinos hosted a Spanish-language poll asking “Has President Obama disillusioned you?” (the overwhelming response was “No”) and then they used a stock photo of Asian children at the top of their page.

The RNC blamed the error on outsourced web developers — rumored to be in either Bombay or Honduras — who misread the tags on the photo.

Outreach spokestaco Beltina Inchancla offered up this explanation:

It was an honest mistake. They thought the picture was labeled as featuring “Latino” children, but actually read, “Laotian.”

Mas…Republican ‘Latino outreach’ website confused by non-white kids

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