Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day

larazatshirtLove is in the air for Valentine’s Day, along with cries for immigration reform, equal economic opportunity and an end to pervasive systemic racism.

Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho, Chicano, Chicana, Chican@ and/or Latinx to get lucky AND make the world a better place?

Yes, there is, in our list of the Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines you can use this Valentine’s Day:

8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Friday night — what do you think — 8-ish?

7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?

6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Mas…Pocho Ocho top activists’ pickup lines for Valentine’s Day

This is why they hate us: The Hamilton-Beach breakfast burrito maker

hbscreencapMaking a breakfast burrito is hard work, especially in the morning when it’s time to eat breakfast. There’s the delicate cracking of the eggs thang, the slicing of the cheese procedure, the tricky cooking and not burning, and finally the delicate assembly work. All in the morning! Maybe even before the cafecito kicks in! Aye dios mio! What’s a hungry pocho to do?

Chillax, homie, We’ve got your modern gadget right here: The new Breakfast Burrito Maker from Hamilton-Beach, your favorite manufacturer of stupid single-use appliances.

Mas…This is why they hate us: The Hamilton-Beach breakfast burrito maker

Oaxaca woman finds face of Jesus on homemade tortilla (video)

jesustortillawide“A woman in southern Mexico decided to use a tortilla she had just made for spiritual, rather than physical, food after seeing the face of Jesus Christ looking back at her,” reports the Daily Mail:

Enedina Mendoza and her family make tortillas in the small Oaxacan town of Tlalixtac de Cabrera, and the baker that she [said] normally doesn’t even look at her creations.

However, instead of sending one tortilla off to become a blessed burrito, Mendoza took another glance and recognized the son of God.

Mas…Oaxaca woman finds face of Jesus on homemade tortilla (video)

Taco Tuesday + Cinco de Mayo = Drunk Tacos + Fresh Guac!

drunktacosHow many times does Cinco de Mayo also fall on Taco Tuesday? Our guess is 14% of the time or 1/7th but math is hard, amiright?

But the odds are with us today (the Fourth Was With Us yesterday, and with you) so let’s get loqui with two of our favorite thematically-appropriate videos — Tacos by My Drunk Kitchen and Fresh Guacamole. Are you ready? Remember, kids don’t try these at home!

Mas…Taco Tuesday + Cinco de Mayo = Drunk Tacos + Fresh Guac!

A burrito is not a sandwich, Massachusetts judge rules

qdoba640(PNS reporting from MASSACHUSETTS) A burrito is not a sandwich, you idiots, according to a court decision announced here last week.

Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Locke made the ruling as he threw out a lawsuit brought by a Panera restaurant seeking to stop White City Shopping Center in Shrewbsury from leasing space to a franchisee of the Qdoba Mexican Grill chain.

Panera’s lease prevents the center from renting space to a (competing) sandwich shop.

From the Associated Press:

[The judge] cited Webster’s Dictionary as well as testimony from a chef and a former high-ranking federal agriculture official in ruling that Qdoba’s burritos and other offerings are not sandwiches.

Mas…A burrito is not a sandwich, Massachusetts judge rules

Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines for Valentine’s Day

lovetshirtLove is in the air for Valentine’s Day, along with cries for immigration reform, economic fairness and equal justice.

Is there a way for the politically active pocha or pocho to get lucky AND make the world a better place?

Yes, there is! Check out our list of the Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines you can use this Valentine’s Day:

8. What do we want? A quiet romantic dinner for two! When do we want it? Friday night — what do you think — 8-ish?

7. What’s a nice girl like you doing in a MEChA like this?

6. Is that a GMO-free organic sustainably-raised earth-friendly heirloom local family farm non-corporate elote in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Mas…Pocho Ocho top activist pickup lines for Valentine’s Day

Religious figures to Guadalupe: You’re a ‘miraculous appearance hog’

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Leading Catholic personalities gathered here this week to address a simmering controversy in the official Divine Advent & Manifestation Union (DAMU): members claim that La Virgen de Guadalupe (photo, center) is a publicity hog when it comes to miraculous appearances.

“Can’t the Son of God just miraculously appear on a slice of toast without someone copying me?” asked Jesus Christ (photo, right). “Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for faith and everything, but she goes out of her way to appear on everything! Am I right, people?”

Another virgin in attendance, rarely-seen La Virgen de San Juan (photo, left), said that although she’s “totally cool” with being a lesser-known virgin, she will never be able to grow her Twitter following or sell more CDs when Guadalupe is always “hogging the spotlight.”

“The union has rules for a reason, so everyone has a chance at appearing on tortillas or an oil stain,” San Juan told PNS. “I don’t expect to be number one — I mean, c’mon, we’re talking about the Mother of God here — but I do expect my fair share.”

Mas…Religious figures to Guadalupe: You’re a ‘miraculous appearance hog’

All I want for Xmas is a burrito-wrapped baby in a tamal-looking hat

burritobabyRunning out of Christmas gift ideas for the little pochito in your life?

How about doubling down with a Comida Mexicana duo that wraps your baby up like a burrito in a tortilla-colored blanket and keeps his/her cute little cabeza warm with a hat that looks like the corn husk knot that secures tamales?

Bon Vivant Baby has you covered for only $48.  [Baby not included.]

PREVIOUSLY ON BURRITO-LOOKING BABIES:

Link via MiBlogEsTuBlog.

Editor’s Note: POCHO Subcomandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón wants to remind you it is one tamal and two tamales; one frijol, two frijoles; one asshol, two assholes, etc.