Year: 2013

JLo wins Espiritu Award for playing Mexicans

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Jennifer Lopez(PNS reporting from BEVERLY HILLS) Actress Jennifer Lopez was honored at the Espiritu Awards last night, netting the coveted Best Non-Mexican Actress Who Plays A Mexican In Every Role Award.

“I’m just so grateful to all of you who see in me what every casting agent in Hollywood sees: a Mexican. Which is actually better than being a real Mexican, because then I can actually get work,” she told a gleeful crowd as she accepted her award.

“If it weren’t for Mexicans, I would not have the career I do today, thank you, thank you!”

Mas…JLo wins Espiritu Award for playing Mexicans

Breaking: Scientists ID ’empty the trash’ gene in male DNA

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trashguy(PNS reporting from BOSTON) Geneticists at Boston University have discovered the gene in men that gives them the strength, stamina and expertise to take out the trash.

According to an article published Monday in the journal Science, the gene is located near other genetic material that corresponds to mens’ inherent superior ability to mow the lawn and open tight jar lids.

Mas…Breaking: Scientists ID ’empty the trash’ gene in male DNA

Crazy biker describes, records scary trip through São Paulo (video)

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It’s tough to watch this 15-minute epic ride though São Paulo, Brazil without yelling at the crazy biker — the head-mounted camera footage makes us wonder how long this guy will stay alive! The LiveLeak text seems to indicate he is a courier/messenger delivery person of some sort. Who knows Portugese and can translate his play-by-play narration?

Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

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crossonlawn(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Sara Maestas placed a two-foot-high cruz on her only son’s lawn early this morning — a cross in remembrance of his latest failed relationship.

The 32-year-old transactional lawyer got dumped Saturday night by his novia, less than 20 minutes after he blew off a dinner date. And now his mother’s white polystyrene cross, adorned with flowers, sits front and center on Benjamin Maestas’ lawn in Montrose.

Just before a scheduled 6 PM Saturday rendezvous at Hugo’s Regional Mexican Cuisine, girlfriend Vicki Gardea got a text from Maestas saying he couldn’t meet due to “a short deadline to close on a shopping center for a multinational client.”

Mas…Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

Feminists: The struggles of immigrants are our struggles, too

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immigrationmarch600I’m often asked, “Where were you born?”

My answer? Houston, Texas.

“Where were your parents born?”

El Paso, Texas.

“Where were your grandparents born?”

El Paso, Texas, Balmorhea, Texas and Ft. Davis, Texas.

That is when people usually start to get frustrated and ask, “Well, where is your family from originally?”

The actual meaning behind this statement is “You are a brown-skinned woman and brown-skinned women are not native to the U.S.”

My answers explain that I am not the stranger. Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Colorado, Nevada and Utah were all once part of Mexico, after all.

Mas…Feminists: The struggles of immigrants are our struggles, too

Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Shep E. Devereaux

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They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.

(Hollywood, Dec. 23, 1958) Singing cowboy Gene Autry‘s Challenge Records signed hard-drinking rockabilly singer/piano-player Shep E. Devereaux to produce four sides. Devereaux, originally from New Orleans, booked the Flores Trio (Danny Flores on saxophone and keyboards, Gene Alden on drums, and lead guitarist Buddy Bruce) to back him up.

They recorded three rockabilly numbers and an up-tempo mostly-instrumental track composed by Flores, a song jokingly called “Chingate.”

The song’s lyrics consisted of just that one cussword, repeated three times and featured a blistering sax solo by Flores.

Mas…Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: Shep E. Devereaux

Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

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7upbaby640(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Black coffee, menudo, In-N-Out, mota, maybe even a little hair of the dog — all common hangover remedies, right? But according to a study from Mexican culinary genius Rick Bayless, a new discovery might have them all beat: 7-Up.

“People have helplessly suffered hangovers forever and without any kind of cure. Well, I have discovered the single greatest hangover cure of all-time and can back it up with scientific evidence. No one has ever thought of this before…it’s 7-Up, my friends. You’re welcome!” Bayless told PNS.

Mas…Breaking: Chef Rick Bayless invents ultimate hangover cure

Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do Columbus Day Weekend

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diadelaraza2013FOODIE FIESTA: It’s cross-cultural cuisine fusion this weekend in the Downtown Rancho Pocho Historical District as Marco Pollo on East Olmos Boulevard offers culinary explorers a trip around the world with spaghetti tacos, eggroll rellenos, carne asada pho and kimchee pupusas.

Enjoy the all you-can-eat buffet and pitchers of Mexican Bellinis (beer and peach juice) at special Dia de La Raza/Columbus Day prices.

Mention this scribe, Chale Knickerbocker, for a sweet dessert surprise. Hint: I’m a Flan Boi!

Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do Columbus Day Weekend

Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: President Jed Bartlet

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They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstance conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.

When a liberal Supreme Court justice retired in 1998, Pres. Jed H. W. Bartlet and his staff thought this was the perfect opportunity to increase approval ratings with a politically “safe” nominee, Judge Peyton Harrison.

The retiring justice was not impressed by Bartlet’s choice and urged him to consider another candidate. Bartlet asked his aide Toby Ziegler to review their decision. Ziegler, after walking and talking with other habitues of the West Wing, was uncomfortable with the prospect of losing the easy confirmation, but complied.

Zeigler learned that Harrison once argued against a Constitutional right to privacy, and told Bartlet a backup candidate should be vetted as a possible replacement nominee.

Mas…Unsung Heroes of Hispanic Heritage Month: President Jed Bartlet

Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

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culoquotient(PNS reporting from STOCKHOLM)  A Latina math professor was awarded the Nobel Prize in Mathematics Wednesday for her discovery of the mathematical relationship between dress dimensions and the bulbousness of the culo.

“It’s such a surprise! I was just trying to figure out how to shop for clothes that would fit me without making me look like a puta,” said Cal State L.A. Professor Rosie Carrasco, speaking to PNS from the kitchen of her mom’s house in East L.A.

Carrasco’s discovery — the Culo Quotient —  is a rigorous mathematical formula that uses the ratio of the length of a back of a a dress (typically shorter) and the length of the longer front of a dress to derive an accurate measurement of the size of the dress-wearer’s culo.

Her discovery was initially released on the Internet, before a movement sprung up to nominate her for the Nobel Prize.

She is the first Latina to win the prestigious award.

Mas…Breaking: Latina wins Nobel for discovery of Culo Quotient

Henry’s Kitchen: How to make very sad anytime chili for one (video)

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Henry Phillips, who grew up in New Jersey and got once beaned by a rock his brother threw, prepares Henry’s Anytime Chili for One, but first he needs to convert from metric, and then down-size the family-sized recipe because he’s only making dinner for himself. That involves dividing by seven, which is easier said than done. [NSFW language.]

California immigrants hail Jerry Brown’s veto of jury duty bill

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jurydutylatino(PNS reporting from SACRAMENTO) Gov. Jerry Brown vetoed legislation Monday that would have made California the first state in the nation to allow legal immigrants who are not citizens to serve on juries.

The governor has recently approved bills expanding the rights of immigrants, including legislation allowing those in the country without documents to apply for driver’s licenses and practice law. Democrat Brown said serving on a jury, however, was a civic duty that should be exclusive to citizens.

Ronaldo Santa Flojeraz (photo), 36, a client of the of  Los Angeles Immigrant Rights Labor Center, welcomed Brown’s decision. “Thank you, Governor Brown, for vetoing that bill,” he told PNS. “I was not looking forward to having to avoid the jury duty summons mailers sent by the local courts. I got better things to do.”

Mas…California immigrants hail Jerry Brown’s veto of jury duty bill

Latvian TV goes local in Jalisco to learn to make horchata (video)

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  • This is what we figured out from the video and subtitles so far: A food program (and travel show?) from Latvian National TV called Cult Food visits Ajijic in Jalisco, MX (they call it Meksika) to learn from the locals how to make horchata. In Ajijic, the recipe includes condensed milk; Latvian TV host guy Martins Sirmais thinks it is quite delicious.
  • What we still don’t know: WTF? Horchata is big in Latvia?

From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)

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Hey! I took Russki in college. Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле means “corpse of a chupacabra [found] in Venezuela.”

Poor Venezuela. Ever since Commandante Hugo Chavez died, his chosen successor Nicolas Maduro has had to cope with a series of Yanqui plots that are screwing up the economy in his socialist paradise.

First came the toilet paper shortage which Maduro blamed on imperialist sabotage, although he later tried to paint it as an example of his economic successes, claiming Venezuelan shit production had reached record levels, thereby outstripping the papel hygenico supply.

Mas…From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)

It’s National Taco Day! Eat ’em if you got ’em

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streettacosAccording to either the National Taco Industry Council, or some drunk person who also just made this up, today is National Taco Day in the United Estates.

And it says so, on to the online hub of this holiday, NationalTacoDay.com:

In 2012, Americans ate 4.5 billion tacos! 
That’s 490,000 miles of tacos, which could take you to the moon and back or, if you prefer, could, at 775-million pounds, equal the weight of two Empire State Buildings.

Damn, that just makes me feel fat. Also on their site, they state oddly that:

Mas…It’s National Taco Day! Eat ’em if you got ’em

Does this sound familiar? ‘You’re a Latina/o? But you speak so well!’

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nomexicansIf you are Latina or Latino, you may have heard comments such as, “Wow, you speak so well… You are not like them… You are really smart… OR You are different and they will really like you.”

You might even be asked repeatedly where you are from if your first answer is a city or state in the U.S.

Remarks like these are called microagressions, according to Silvia L. Mazzula, PhD (Asst. Professor of Psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice, CUNY).

These …”subtle forms of racism,” she writes, “…communicate hostile and racial insults. Microaggressions are things said or done – many times unconsciously – that reflect a person’s inner thinking, stereotypes and prejudices. They are difficult to recognize because they are brief, innocuous, and often difficult to see. Why are they important to talk about? Because microaggressions are pervasive and have a detrimental impact on people’s psychological and physiological well-being.”

Mas…Does this sound familiar? ‘You’re a Latina/o? But you speak so well!’

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