Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Food Network goes ‘Mexican’ for Cinco de Mayo

by

Oh. Hi. Is Tia Lencha here. Don’t talk loud. My cabeza hurts.

Tia Lencha went to a restaurante with mariachis and micheladas and little mini tacos jesterday. She had more micheladas than tacos, and gwell. Is not her fault. The tacos were spensive and the size for the dolls to eat.

So she stay at home putting ice on her cabeza, drinking the water and seeing the Food Network on the TV. And ju know what? They try to be Mexican for Cinco de Mayo.

The first thing I notice is the Cacique cheese commercial a million times. Not estrange except that the voice of an Americano says to go “awtenteeco” like they are translating for all the gringos. Then what’s his name (Aaron Sancho?) from the eshow Chopped appear and shows food and then says all the words in espanish right.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Food Network goes ‘Mexican’ for Cinco de Mayo

I was a DREAMer before it was cool — and I got deported

by

The immigrant rights movement has reached one of the most important milestones of the last two decades. Finally, politicians are responding to the demands of advocates asking to reform a broken immigration system that has marginalized millions of undocumented immigrants.

We see this in the form of Senate Bill 744 proposed by the Bipartisan Senate Coalition referred to as the “Gang-of-Eight” which is by far the most comprehensive piece of legislation we have seen in recent years. Such progress is due to the masses of brave DREAMers (undocumented youth) who came out of the shadows to declare their legal status for the purpose of telling their stories to the American public.

Mas…I was a DREAMer before it was cool — and I got deported

Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

by

White folks in sombreros and serapes. Spanglish beer commercials every few minutes. Yup, pretty ridiculous, señor.

I agree with most of my friend Gustavo Arellano’s roiling denunciation of Cinco de Mayo, mas o menos.

He says it’s ridiculous, only serves some limited purposes as far as educating about the evils of Imperialism, or the promotion of self-determination, y todo eso. Battle of Puebla my ear. Sure. OK, guey.

However, I think Gustavo misses one big fat Manuel’s El Tepeyac Hollenbeck Burrito-sized point: We’ve got to celebrate with the holidays we have. Not the holidays we want.

Mas…Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

Happy Inko! Celebrate National Cartoonists Day on Cinco de Mayo

by

Happy Inko de Mayo from La Cucaracha!

Yes, today is the day where we celebrate cartoonists, as it is National Cartoonists Day.

Serio, the National Cartoonists Society started this event a few years ago, apparently  because they had no Latino members at the time who might have mentioned May 5 is already Cinco de Mayo, but, hey, I’m glad they ran with it!

So, let’s honor our ink-stained heroes who go back to the drawing table day after day and try to provide you with some laughs, smirks or even a muted chuckle. I am happy to double celebrate on this day, especially as a Chicano cartoonist and avid Battle of Puebla recreator. So throw a few back today (of course I mean espresso, we’re celebrating cartoonists for heaven’s sake!)

I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

by

I approach el Cinco de Mayo with excitement and ambivalence.

I learned the history of the Battle of Puebla as the son of proud Mexicans, who happened to be immigrants. The story goes: On the fifth of May 1862, a small Mexican army kicks French butt. Bueno.

My dad and grandmother worked at the Cinco de Mayo restaurant on Pacific Coast Highway in a small L.A. harbor town. My association with the day is food, drink, familia, history, cultura.

Mas…I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

WTF? ‘Latina’ magazine picks 30 ‘most iconic’ Latinos on TV

by

Boy, these are fun times, huh? Everyone wants to either be Latino or market Latino things. Let’s all Hispanicize!

I mean, just look around! The GOP is embracing Latinos (har, har) and there are products everywhere like Tide Latino, Ford Latino, Clorox Latino, Latino socks, Latino water, Latino sunlight. Hell, there’s even a PETA Latino now! These Hispanic marketeers know no bounds!

Recently, Latina.com named the “30 most iconic Latino TV characters of the past 60 years.”

My only problem with that is their elastic definition of “Latino.” Many of their icon choices are either stereotypes or just plain questionable. They could have named their article “We’re reaching here, so bear with us, and buy some Latino Tide!”

I’ll run down a few of the more questionable picks and let you decide who makes the cut. Are they iconic? Are they Latino? Are they iconic Latinos?? Gasp! You be the judge. And for the love of Latino Jesus, make sure you buy some corporate Latino products while you’re at it.

Mas…WTF? ‘Latina’ magazine picks 30 ‘most iconic’ Latinos on TV

Stone Oak woman claims family spat was due to ‘pura envidia’

by

(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) The recent loud family dispute at her home here was due to “pura envidia” on the part of her husband’s people, according to Adelia Lázaro.

“They are just envidiosos because we have worked hard to have this mock-Tudor home in Stone Oak closer to the north side than them,” the San Antonio native and mother of three told PNS.

“They just want what we have and can’t be happy for us!”

Mas…Stone Oak woman claims family spat was due to ‘pura envidia’

Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

by

(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Federales are cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla

by

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) French invaders fighting indigenous militias in the state of Puebla are using poison gas, according to situation reports circulating here in the capital.

If the reports can be substantiated, it marks a dangerous escalation in the hostilities, and would mean Napoleon III’s troops have “crossed a red line” set by the Lincoln Administration in Washington.

“Oh simon, it was gas,” said one eyewitness rushed from the front by the cavalry. “French General Pepe Le Pew knows he is losing the la guerra and he is desperate. We think it is the deadly gas de brie, which these queseros love.”

Mas…Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla

‘Play Hard’ is the David Guetta music video THEY don’t want you to see

by


David Guetta’s new Play Hard music video featuring Ne-Yo and Akon is just too much for some politically-correct pendejos including Defender of La Raza Perez Hilton. They be all hatin’ on the jainas licking paletas, the celebration of botas picudas, the firme cholos with tats. We say it has a good beat and it’s easy to dance to. WWFD? What Would Frida Do?

So you say you’re a teacher? Hahaha! What do you make? (video)

by


My mom lit Shabbat candles every Friday night. She always closed her eyes and asked God to bless our grandparents, our parents, our aunts, our uncles, our brothers and sisters, our cousins and our friends. And right in there with friends and families and sisters and cousins she asked God to bless “our beloved teachers.” This video shows why.

LOLS: Siri talks to Google Voice who talks to Siri who talks to… (video)

by


A student at Pratt in New York set up a text-to-speech-to-text loop and the results are amazing and funny. We’ll let Michael Silber explain:

PROCESS

  1. I recorded the audio of Siri reading a selection of text.
  2. I placed a call to myself and played the Siri audio recording into my Google Voice voicemail.
  3. I instructed Siri to read the new Google Voice transcription, including any errors, and recorded a new audio clip.
  4. I placed a call to myself and played the new Siri audio recording back into my Google Voice voicemail.

— I repeated these steps for 50 iterations.

Mas…LOLS: Siri talks to Google Voice who talks to Siri who talks to… (video)

Angry Tejanos demand British Museum return Freddy Fender’s wig

by

(PNS reporting from TEXAS) Tejanos want singer Freddy Fender’s wig back.

The Música Committee of the Narciso Martinez Cultural Arts Center in San Benito last week demanded the British Museum effect “the immediate return of this important Tejano cultural item.”

The salt-and-pepper Afro-style toupee, called “Freddy’s Fro,” disappeared from the singer’s home shortly after his death in 2006 and reappeared this winter in the Museum’s “Ethnic Minorities in the United States” exhibit on a mannequin of the singer, best known for his 1970s’ hit Wasted Days and Wasted Nights.

Mas…Angry Tejanos demand British Museum return Freddy Fender’s wig

Pocho ocho most racist things said to Latinas on online dating sites

by

It’s tough for hermanas out there trying to find love — especially with the anonymity of the online dating world. What makes it even harder for Latinas online is how easy it can be for dudes to be jerks, specifically, racist jerks.

Here’s our list of the top eight racist things said to Latinas in online dating sites:

8. I’ll be your anchor baby.

7. Chupa mi cabra.

6. Our future children won’t speak Spanish, like real Americans.

Mas…Pocho ocho most racist things said to Latinas on online dating sites

Latina discovers talent for poetry by saying random words slowly

by

(PNS reporting from SAN FRANCISCO)  Marce “More-Say” Figueroa discovered her talent for poetry this time last year when her roommate told her she was talking in her sleep.

After that conversation, Figueroa started writing down the random words that popped into her head when she woke up. Soon, she realized what she was really writing was poetry — and April is National Poetry Month!

“Angie my roommate was all, like, ‘Wow Marce, that’s great,’” she told PNS. “She was so inspired that I started writing more poems, and after a reading in the City College of San Francisco cafeteria, I changed my name to More-Say, instead of Marce, because it’s like poetry, you know?”

Mas…Latina discovers talent for poetry by saying random words slowly

Scanning for Mexicans? How about puro pocho ringtones! (audio)

by

Our amigos at Latino Rebels tipped us off to a brewing controversy about a South Park audio clip being used as a ringtone. On South Park they were “scanning for Mexicans.”

We decided cellphones needed some puro pocho ringtones, so we made four ringtones — dare we call them POCHOTONES? — starring Cheech Marin, Edward J. Olmos, Alfonso Bedoya and George Lopez.

Download and share (.mp3 format):

Mas…Scanning for Mexicans? How about puro pocho ringtones! (audio)

PNS*Hot*Flash: Mexican porn star feted in DF

by

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Famed Mexican porn star Alejandro Montejainas was honored at a gala reception in Mexico City’s Zona Rosa last week.

Montejainas, who first gained public notoriety in his landmark 1967 film Chilito Lindo, has starred in more than 70 productions in a career that spans nearly four decades.

Perhaps best known for his political porn film El Sex-enio, Montejainas was a staunch advocate of sexual liberation in Mexico. In 1977 he founded a production studio, Buscochurro, which helped transform the Mexican sexual landscape with such films as Espaldas Mojadas, Buki Nights, Señor Treviño, Dong Juan, Santo vs. Blue Bolas, Shower of Gold and the 10-part series Ynez Sin Barreras.

Joining Montejainas at the head table were fellow industry heavyweights Rudy Alegre, Johnny Listo and Amber Tamalera. One of the highlights of the evening was the arrival of a telegram from former Mexican Pres. Carlos Salinas de Gortari which referred to Montejainas as “a friend to the Mexican home video industry.” The telegram was later read aloud to the audience.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Mexican porn star feted in DF

+ Load More Posts