Merry Christmas from the Pochodores: Lalo Alcaraz, Jefe-in-Chief; Dennis Wilen AKA Comic Saenz, Jefe de Editorial; Sara Inés Calderón, Subcommandanta del Ñews; Victor Payan, Subcommandante de la Cultura; Beto Mesta AKA Eres Nerd, Texas Burro Jefe; Santino J. Rivera, Florida Burro Jefe; Elise Roedenbeck, New Jack City Burro Jefe (Emeritus); Melanie Ruiz, Director of Marketing; Al Madrigal, Migrant Editor.
Corporate
Official news from our corporate spokesdude, José Canusí.
New @ The POCHO Store: Chipsters Anonymous 2013 merch
We just opened a new section at our CafePress.com store filled with Chipsters Anonymous 2013 merchandise, inspired by our wildly-popular Are You A Chipster? article.
The Chipsters Anonymous section stocks your tshirts, your hoodies, your mugs, your tote bags, all the chachkas that CafePress offers.
Go there NOW and BUY BUY BUY. And if you want some other products with this logo, let us know!
Mexclusive: Hollywood has called my bluff with ‘Bordertown’ at Fox!
Fox has just announced the pickup of a new animated TV show called Bordertown, debuting in 2014. It was created by the showrunner of Family Guy, Mark Hentemann.
I was offered a gig writing and consulting on the show, and I happily accepted.
This will be the first animated prime time network TV show with a significant number of Latino characters.
Over half the cast will Mexican or Mexican-Americans or Chicanos. It will be historic.
Mas…Mexclusive: Hollywood has called my bluff with ‘Bordertown’ at Fox!
@LATISM names Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz Best Political Blogger
It’s on the Twitters so it’s all official!
Latinos In Social Media just named POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz (photo, right) as Best Political Blogger. ¡Felicidades, Jefe!
Write for POCHO, earn the respect of your peers, mas o menos
Face it, pochos, money can’t buy you love. But respect —
And that’s why we want to remind you once again of a very special opportunity to earn the respect of your peers, street cred in your neighborhood and, possibly, the approbation of total strangers from all across the InterT00bZ, if not actual cash.
All you need to do is to send POCHO your dreams and nightmares for distribution on the World Wide Web — for the greater good of humanity.
Send original photos, videos, cartoons, illustrations, short stories and ñews that will amuse, titillate and elevate America.
Is that so much to ask? Srsly. These recent gems all came from “regular” folks just like you:
Mas…Write for POCHO, earn the respect of your peers, mas o menos
As the Duck Farts: El Pato demands POCHO retract ‘sketchy salsa’ story
An attorney who claims to represent Walker Foods, U.S. distributors of El Pato (The Duck) salsa, demanded Thursday that POCHO “retract and correct” parts of our story Pocho Ocho sketchy substances in Mexican hot sauce besides lead, even though he acknowledges it is satire.
Downtown Los Angeles lawyer Robert M. Newell, Jr. also wants POCHO to “remove the contrived picture showing what purports to be a bottle of El Pato Salsa Picante bearing a skull and crossbones,” adding that the “story is puro pedo!” (The letter is below.)
Mas…As the Duck Farts: El Pato demands POCHO retract ‘sketchy salsa’ story
Legal Notice of Counsel: Contact Sanchez Bros Attorney-at-Law
This legal notice designating an Attorney of Record is herewith, hereby and homeboy published, August 2 2013, March 15 2012, May 29 2012, and August 31 2012 pursuant the requirements of the Aztlan Judicical Unity Act (AJUA) of 1997.
For any y all legal matters pertaining to Pochismo, Inc., DBA POCHO and POCHO DOT COM, please contact
Attorney-At-Law Sanchez Bros, Pocho City, CA @ 408-POCHO-28.
We’re chatting like it’s 1989 in POCHO’s NowTalk chatroom
We’re open for beta testing! POCHO is please to semi-stealthfully debut a new feature, a live 24/7 chat widget.
- Thrill! As Pochodores like Santino J. Rivera show up to rant about Sheriff Joe and Rick Bayless!
Mas…We’re chatting like it’s 1989 in POCHO’s NowTalk chatroom
Update: We made it through the hack attack but still need your help
This graphic shows how hackers overwhelmed the site one day last week. Those three “load” figures at the top should be close to “1.” All the “USERS” you see on Comic Seanz’s screen cap show our webserver software (Apache) trying to keep up with bullshit requests from evil hack robots.
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Can you donate $20 or $50 so we can make more ñews y satire? |
The hackers who overwhelmed our site are gone — for now. But we still need your help so we can beef up POCHO’s infrastructure. Money help.
- Bringing in security pro to sweep our site will cost at least $100 — and could cost more if she finds something.
- Updating our hosting package — now provided as a public service by our friends at Pixelgate.net — means more dinero — over $100 more each month.
- Upgrading our WordPress theme software (the recent upgrade left a slew of bugs we’re trying to iron out), is another hundred or so plus expensive web developers.
We don’t have the money to do this stuff — without you.
Mas…Update: We made it through the hack attack but still need your help
Dear Mom and Dad: Thank you for sending me to Camp Rancho Cholo
Dear Mom and Dad Pocho: How are you? I am fine. Tio Chuy says I have to write at least one letter a week if I want to get a tat, so here it is. Everything here at Camp Rancho Cholo is too cool for school. The vatos in my crib are fun to hang out with and the counselors let you eat all the food you want in the dining hall even if it doesn’t taste that good.
Mas…Dear Mom and Dad: Thank you for sending me to Camp Rancho Cholo
It’s End of May Day! Donate to POCHO now to help us break the ñews!
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Can you donate $20 or $50 so we can make more ñews y satire? |
With only hours left in the Merry Merry Month of May, please make a small donation now so we can continue breaking the ñews! POCHO needs money to upgrade our webservers, money to fix our broken computers and, more than anything, money to pay our editors and writers and videographers and cartoonists who have contributed a year and a half’s worth of amazingly chingon content for free.
Every $10, $20 or $50 helps. Click on the donate button now. Thank you, pochos!
MiJA Weekly’s Elise Roedenbeck joins new TV network in Miami
Many have you have written in and asked about Elise Roedenbeck’s MiJA WEEKLY video series and why it disappeared.
We have good news and bad news. Bad news first: There will be no more MiJA WEEKLY.
The good news? Important people in the Network Television World were so taken with Elise and MiJA WEEKLY that they stole her away from us and moved her to Miami where she is joining the new ABC/Univision TV network FUSION.
Felicidades to our hermana Elise and “break a leg” as we say in eshow business.
Notice of Corporate Counsel: Sanchez Bros Attorney-at-Law
This legal notice designating an Attorney of Record is herewith, hereby and homeboy published, April 9 2013, March 15 2012, May 29 2012, and August 31 2012 pursuant the requirements of the Aztlan Judicical Unity Act (AJUA) of 1997.
For any y all legal matters pertaining to Pochismo, Inc., DBA POCHO and POCHO DOT COM, please contact
Attorney-At-Law Sanchez Bros, Pocho City, CA @ 408-POCHO-28.
Please donate to POCHO right now to help us break the ñews!
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Can you donate $5 or $10 so we can make more ñews y satire? |
As we start our second year online, we need your small change.
Please make a small donation now so we can continue breaking the ñews.
POCHO needs money to upgrade webservers, money to fix our broken computers and, more than anything, money to pay our editors and writers and videographers and cartoonists who have contributed a year’s worth of chingon content for free.
Every $10, $20 or $50 helps. Click on the donate button now. Thank you, pochos!
Please donate to POCHO now to help us break the ñews!
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Can you donate $5 or $10 so we can make more ñews y satire? |
With only a few hours left in the Year of the Chancla, please make a small holiday donation now so we can continue breaking the ñews! POCHO needs money to upgrade our webservers, money to fix our broken computers and, more than anything, money to pay our editors and writers and videographers and cartoonists who have contributed a year’s worth of amazingly chingon content for free.
Every $10, $20 or $50 helps. Click on the donate button now. Thank you, pochos!
Merry Christmas from Mr. POCHO and all the Pochodores! (toon)
Peace on Earth!
POCHO web server crashes as Doomsday Clock hits 00:00:00
POCHO’s web server crashed — along with the Mayan Calendar — at midnight Friday when our Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday Countdown Clock (since disabled) shut down at 00:00:00. If you stopped by after midnight — we rebooted at 7:30 AM — here’s what you saw and heard.
Can you help POCHO upgrade our infrastructure?
Mas…POCHO web server crashes as Doomsday Clock hits 00:00:00
Open until the Mayan Apocalypse on 12/21: The Pocho Store
Hola, it’s me, MR. POCHO, and I just opened The Pocho Store.
Place your order now for thongs, hats, shirts, sweats — all featuring my handsome head — at CafePress.com/thepochostore. But be sure order before The End of the World As We Know It — Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 on December 21. We can’t guarantee delivery if there’s no world to deliver to!
¿Qué tal? Leave MR. POCHO a voice mail and tell us wassup
You know MR. POCHO loves you. He loves you all night long!
That’s why he wants you pochos to give him a call and tell him what’s on your mind.
- Is there some ñews we should cruise?
- What are you wearing?
- What’s for lunch?
- Who juan the debate?
- Deep dark secret you need to get off your chest?
Call MR. POCHO now and leave an anonymous message. Your number is safe with us.
We’ll use Google Voice to turn your spoken voice mail into text and post it here. Like bits on the Internet, these are the daze of our lives.
Call 408-POCHO-28 now! Robots are standing by! (408) 762-4628
Aha! Our first caller. Let’s see what Google Voice thinks he/she had to say…
Mas…¿Qué tal? Leave MR. POCHO a voice mail and tell us wassup
Letter from Ex-MRS. POCHO: ‘All employees must vote for Romney’
Dear Employees of Pochismo, Inc.:
As most of you know, the company continues to grow in spite of the half-assed crap job you do. However, I can’t really expect you to be good at anything, considering my huevon ex-husband, MR. POCHO, is your boss. A piñata has better leadership skills than him. That is why I am taking the initiative to educate you about the upcoming election.
Currently, your lack of talent poses no threat to your job status. What does pose a threat is another four years of the Obamanation Administration.
Having been awarded a substantial portion of POCHO stock as part of our divorce settlement, I have a great interest in your financial well-being. MR. POCHO and I started this company almost 11 months ago and even though I am heiress to the Jupína soda fortune, I have put my duties of exotic travel and party-time debauchery on hold in order to focus on POCHO’s growth.
Mas…Letter from Ex-MRS. POCHO: ‘All employees must vote for Romney’
We love you and want to move our relationship to the next level
MR. POCHO and all the Pochodores love you. We love you all night long.
We love you so much we built this joint and wrote these articles and created these toons and videos and stuff. For you. POCHO has no “pay walls” or user registration to stop you from playing along and our pinche funny original content is turning traditional thinking about Latino media upside down.
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Can you kick in Por Plis? MR. POCHO SAYS ¡GRACIAS! |
And what do you give us back? You give us love and LULz, and that’s cool. But we want to take this relationship to the next level with more and better stuff for you, but, you see, there is this problem.
We don’t get paid. Huh? That’s right. No money for the “staff.” No money for our contributors.
Mas…We love you and want to move our relationship to the next level
Write, draw or shoot for POCHO and win the respect of your peers
Face it, pochos, money can’t buy you love. But respect –R-E-S-P-E-C-T — well, that can go a long way towards letting your love light shine.
And that’s why we want to remind you once again of a very special opportunity to earn the respect of your peers, street cred in your neighborhood and, possibly, the approbation of total strangers from all across the InterT00bZ, if not actual cash.
All you need to do is to send POCHO your dreams and nightmares for distribution on the World Wide Web — for the greater good of humanity. Send original photos, videos, cartoons, illustrations, short stories and ñews that will amuse, titillate and elevate America. Is that so much to ask?
Mas…Write, draw or shoot for POCHO and win the respect of your peers
Apology: These POCHO comments are ham not spam
POCHO encourages live unmoderated reader comments without registration (democratic but dangerous) so we employ a robot named Akismet to help us weed out spam.
The bot’s not perfect, though. Sometimes legitimate comments get mistakenly trapped by Akismet, which uses artificial intelligence to decide if a comment is Spam (bad) or Ham (good).
Here, with our apologies, are a few comments that were mistakenly flagged as Spam:
Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 10:26 pm
This is the exact AZ’s hater history: Public Enemy ‘By the Time I Get to Arizona’ : Pocho diary for anyone who wants to attempt out out active this issue. You respond so such its virtually wearying to argue with you (not that I rattling would want…HaHa). You definitely put a new rotate on a matter thats been engrossed some for years. City block, but zealous!
Submitted on 2012/06/28 at 9:44 pm
Taking the course of least level of resistance could be the desired manner of functioning for several. It needs to be an enormous revolution for a lot of, nevertheless My spouse and i hesitation they could keep their particular outdated way of managing this looking at just this 1 article. With luck , most split via
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz is LA’s top editorial cartoonist
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz won the Los Angeles Press Club’s top award yesterday (once again) for best editorial cartoon. Lalo, who photographed himself and his award with President Bartlet, tells the story and shares the cartoon on LaloAlcaraz.com. This is his sixth award from the journalism society.
And you may ask yourself ‘How did I get here?’
People come to POCHO for unexpected reasons, or at least reasons we never expected. Did they see a link on Facebook (most of our traffic starts there)? Did they get a link in email? Did they see something on Twitter? Did they search with Google? Did a link on another site lead to POCHO?
We like it best when PNS Pocho Ñews Service stories snare the unwary — it’s like we have passed the “truthiness” sniff test and our faux news seems real enough to make people believe.
We get thousands of visitors looking for a certain fictitious Vegas casino, pit bull owners concerned about their breed’s reputation and gossip-lovers seeking the latest news about Eve Mendes.
Do these random visitors know where they ended up?
Legal Notice of Corporate Counsel: Sanchez Bros Attorney-at-Law
This legal notice designating an Attorney of Record is herewith, hereby and homeboy published, March 15 2012, May 29 2012, and August 31 2012 pursuant the requirements of the Aztlan Judicical Unity Act (AJUA) of 1997.
For any y all legal matters pertaining to Pochismo, Inc., DBA POCHO and POCHO DOT COM, please contact
Attorney-At-Law Sanchez Bros, Pocho City, CA @ 408-POCHO-28.
A message from our sponsor: Gays for hire at RentALatino!
Now that President Obama has put his personal seal of approval on marriage for gays and lesbians, our sponsor wants to get the word out about their newest service.
Won’t you give ’em some some unbiased sponsor-love and check out RentALatino’s offer?
Mas…A message from our sponsor: Gays for hire at RentALatino!
Dear Kim Kardashian: POCHO.COM is so very very sorry
On the advice of our attorney-at-law, the Sanchez Bros (see video below), Pochismo, Inc. would like to apologize to Kim Kardashian for any harm done to her reputation by a Mexican billboard possibly prompted by our Mockupy A Billboard Challenge.
Meet our newest sponsor – RentALatino!
In our ongoing search for advertisers to match our diverse audience, it looks like we have found a winner – a company with deep pockets and its heart in the right place.
POCHO is glad to welcome RentALatino to the echelons of our Premium Sponsors.
To learn how you might qualify for RentALatino‘s latest discounts and see the full message from our sponsor, read on!
POCHO needs a mad genius sales jefe
Hey, amigos:
Yes, you, the ones with the ad agency contacts and the AlwaysBeClosing tattoos:
If you have strategic vision, sales team management experience, a thick little black book and the knife-in-your-teeth attitude of a closer, check out this job listing: POCHO wants to interview you for a job as our Jefe de Sales y Business Development.
Lalo on Patt Morrison: I miss Herman Cain
During the interview, Lalo gave props to pioneering Latino cartoonist Gus Arriola, confessed he misses Herman Cain and revealed that he stands 100% behind @MexicanMitt.
That’s not funny! Why did POCHO go dark for 24 hours?
We’re gonna get real with you for just a second, and then it’s back to the jajaja.
We know it, you know it, even thousands of freaked-out college students know it now:
SOPA and PIPA are horrible bills that would turn control of all the mad, juicy goodness of the Internet – including sites like ours – over to a handful of greedy, pinstripe-suited dobermans known as entertainment industry lawyers. And those dogs would rip it all to bloody shreds.