I accompanied MR. POCHO on a trip to Washington, D.C. He said if we took photos and put them online then the trip would be deductible as a business expense. OK, then.
After we visited the White House, we went to look at where our money went — over at the Department of the Treasury:
Hands off my lady parts, you GOP pervs. My vag is awesome! (NSFW adult lyrics.)
And from Favianna Rodriguez, this NSFW poster…
Mas…Awkwafina: GOP! I don’t have to show you my steenking vag (NSFW vid)
(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Newcomer John Gomez stars as The John Gomez Show premieres Sunday night, the latest sitcom starring a Latino that is destined to join the long line of Latino TV shows that suck.
John and his sweet, sexy wife Lisa are a happily-married couple with two children. Daughter Rosie is just turning the corner to teenager, and son Sam is a precocious — oh, forget about the plot line, it promises to simply suck big time.
“It’s a formula for failure,” declared Hispanic TV audiences everywhere.
“I will watch it no matter how bad it is. Juan Gomez is one of our own, even though he is the unfunniest Latino on the planet,” said Latina inactivist Vera Tellez.
Mas…Unfunny ‘Latino’ sitcom debuts Sunday, people will watch anyhow
Are you a Chipster (Chicano + hipster)? There are Pocho Ocho ways to tell. You might be a Chipster if…
8. You wear skinny jeans instead of Levi’s when swimming at the beach
7. You scored a medical marijuana prescription to protect you from the ojo
6. Your tricked-out chrome lowrider bike is a vintage Schwinn fixie
Mas…Are you a ‘Chipster’ (Chicano + hipster)? Pocho Ocho ways to tell
(PNS reporting from AUSTIN) The Lone Star State’s leading export — hateful white men — has reached new levels this year.
According to report released Friday by the Economic Institute of Texas, A Texas Export Snapshot, Texas consistently leads the nation in the export of hateful, misogynistic white men who also run state legislatures.
Texas exported 20% more TPCs (Texas Political Conservatives) in the first half of 2013 than than in the first two quarters of last year, with the trend continuing to accelerate. Over 11,000 TPCs have left Texas since January, they say.
Mas…Top Texas export, hateful white men, grows again this year
Argentinian actress and musician Mia Maestro uploaded this video eight months ago but no one really noticed until Vimeo made it a pick selection and it exploded online over the last few days. Great song, sensual singing and amazing body art/body painting, awwww yeah!
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Paola Lopez’ dreams were shattered and her heart was broken Friday after she prepared sopa de fideo for her boyfriend, Sunny Vargas.
“I just thought it would be nice to make him a quick snack before we went out,” the 28-year-old woman tearfully recounted to PNS. “Then all of a sudden he got all mad and left me. He broke up with me in a text that night.”
The tragedy began Tuesday when Vargas, a sales representative for a Pico Rivera power tools importer and distributor, told Lopez that one of his favorite dishes (and thus a requirement to be considered “wife material”) was sopa de fideo, like his mom Victoria makes.
The shocking conclusion came Friday evening.
Mas…Woman is told ‘Cup O Noodles is not fideo,’ then gets dumped
We’re open for beta testing! POCHO is please to semi-stealthfully debut a new feature, a live 24/7 chat widget.
Mas…We’re chatting like it’s 1989 in POCHO’s NowTalk chatroom
BURNS: Smithers! The Latinos! With the demographics! And the babies! Quick, we need Latino baby food! It’s a goldmine of a wagon de band upon which we must to hop!
SMITHERS: But, Mr. Burns? Latino baby food? WTF? For God’s sake, man, we already have Clorox Latino. When will the madness end?
BURNS: It’s already happening, Smithers, and I just read on Fox Latino that “one of the concerns that Hispanic mothers have is losing touch with their culture and their culinary roots.” Cashing in on concerns is the capitalist way, Smithers. Release the perros!
What are these trendy Latino baby food items anyhow? We’ve got the deets on the Pocho Ocho:
Mas…They know what we want! Pocho Ocho trendiest Latino baby foods
Last week at this time POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz was posing as a professional cartoonist at Comic-Con 2013 in San Diego, but he was dressed as Lalo. These enthusiastic costume players, on the other hand, were living the dream.
Virgen de #Guadalupe #mural #streetart in #Highland Park. I think the barbed wire is an especially nice touch. #Latinas #latism
New York artist Danny Evans uses his mad Photoshop skillz to fight for truth, justice and pinche reality in a series of celebrity photographs artfully reimagined as photos of ordinary people. Here are Johnny Depp and Madonna, for example:
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Not done yet? You can take more, no problem? Meet Brad and Angelina and Jennifer Lopez by herself and pictured with Marc Anthony:
Mas…You can’t un-see this: Celebrity Photoshop ‘makeunders’ (photos)
“The Magnificent Riflebird (Ptiloris magnificus) is a medium-sized (up to 34 cm long) passerine bird widely distributed throughout lowland rainforests of New Guinea and far Northeastern Australia. Males are polygamous and perform solitary courtship displays on a ‘dancing perch’. During these displays, the male fully extends his wings and raises his tail; he hops upward while swinging his head from side to side, showing off his metallic blue-green breast shield. Multiple females will observe these displays, and, if satisfied with the performance, reward the male with copulations.” …Wikipedia.
It’s no surprise to us Pochodores — it’s why we started POCHO.COM:
Actual research reveals more and more U.S. Latinos are getting their ñews in Ingles — ñews from respected journalists like brothers Jorge Cooper-Ramos (right), and Anderson Ramos-Cooper (left.)
OK, sometimes Latinos get their ñews from Gustavo Almadovar live in the O.C., but not lately.
Meanwhile, Univision is leading in the July ratings wars with the most viewers under 50, the first time a Spanish-language network topped the charts.
For comic magician Andy Gross, it was just a walk in the park. For everyone else — well, let’s just say some chonies had to be changed.
(PNS reporting from TAMPA) Chicano actor Jesse Borrego, famous for Blood In, Blood Out, is set to unveil a new salsa that he says will “light a fire under your ass!”
The salsa, named “Chinga Tu Madre!” will be sold in cans only and is slated for release this September by the Rick Bayless Division of Frito Lay.
Borrego invited PNS to sample some of the salsa Tuesday at what he calls his “private office.”
From Israel comes this tale of a little girl in a “futuristic Pre-Columbian tribe” where everyone wears a mask. When the girl reaches the age of maturity, she’ll get a mask herself and she understands that accepting the mask will make her one of the tribe. Also involved: Carlos Castandeda’s Don Juan, abstract electronic music, high-speed rail, totem poles, pyramids, tunnels, skyscrapers, the Great Wall of China and iPads (could be Androids, hard to tell.) Mas Que La Cara , according to creator Yaniv Cohen, a college student, is from the Spanish and means “more than the face” or “added face.” It’s also the root of the word “masque.”
Benjamin Medrano, 47, won Fresnillo’s July 7 election and will take office this September. His election — he is said to be the first openly-gay mayor in Mexico’s history — has led some observers to speculate that famously-macho Mexicans didn’t really know Medrano was gay, or didn’t believe him when he told them.
Hey, Zacatecas! Try these Pocho Ocho ways to calibrate your gaydar:
8. P.A.N. — not gay. P.R.I. — gay.
7. Maria del Barrio — not gay. Maria del Zona Rosa — gay.
6. Blue Demon — not gay. Santo Gay — gay.
Mas…Attention, Zacatecas: Pocho Ocho top ways to calibrate your gaydar
It’s 72 million years old and really impressive, dug into the desert just across el otro lado from Texas. From the AP:
Mexican paleontologists say they have uncovered 50 vertebrae believed to be a full dinosaur tail in the northern desert of Coahuila state. The National Institute of Anthropology and History [INAH] says the tail is about 15 feet (5 meters) long and resembles that of a hadrosaur or crested duckbill dinosaur…. Paleontologist Felisa Aguilar says they uncovered roughly half of the dinosaur, which was 36 feet (12 meters) long and lived about 72 million years ago.
Mas…Mexican paleontologists unearth 15-foot-long dinosaur tail (video)
We’ve already run maps seeking to explain such mysteries as Texas and Florida. But now for something completely different via our friends at Wired.com. Well semi-different. Actually not that different from the Texas map but instructive, nevertheless. It’s a map [click to enlarge] of Los United Estates, from Yanko Tsvetkov’s Atlas of Prejudice. Look right to you?
And here’s Tsetkov’s map of the world according to Americans [click to enlarge]:
At the Orange County Fair in Costa Mesa, there’s a tempting challenge for manly men — finish a gargantuan pile of fried dough (AKA a Mexican funnel cake) in 30 minutes and this exciting taste sensation is yours for free. It’s a $20 dessert, weighs five pounds and comes with whipped cream and strawberries. Of course, it’s easier said than done, as this video shows.
(PNS reporting from LONDON) Normally perky Buckingham Palace Her Majesty’s Parking Valet Reymundo Hernandez Terraza was uncharacteristically quiet today after the birth of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s new baby boy, although some friends of the royal servant noticed he sported a “secret smile.”
Some Palace observers have remarked on the newborn’s apparent slight suntan, attributing the child’s skin tone to Britain’s recent heat wave, when temperatures soared into the high 60s.
Mas…Breaking: Royal baby boy looks a bit familiar somehow (photo)
(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Neighborhood Watch volunteers across the nation’s gated communities are posting Twitter photos of Naked Geraldo to frighten off dangerous junk food-toting hoodie-wearing kids.
Award-winning journalist Geraldo Rivera, who proclaimed in his initial Tweet that “Seventy is the new Sexty,” snapped the nude photo of himself in the bathroom in order to fight the rampant scourge of black teen crime.
In the wake of the child-killer George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the homicide of Trayvon Martin, the support for crushing “Black On Sidewalk” crime has been boosted by law abiding citizens everywhere, and the Naked Geraldo photo has been a big help.
Mas…Scary Naked Geraldo photo slashes ‘Walking While Black’ crime
(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Cable news reporter Geraldo Rivera was named a “person of interest” Sunday and detained for questioning in a “sexting” case by police here after he posted a twisted semi-nude “selfie” on Twitter. [Editor’s Note: Ruh, roh! Looks like Mr. Rivera has deleted that Tweet! But that’s the photo from Saturday night, for reals.]
Complaining Tweeple from around the world overwhelmed the NYPD website, email and phone banks Saturday night and Sunday with reports of a twisted Geraldo floating around the Internets, calling him a “flasher” and a “pervert” and saying they felt threatened.
Offline, residents of his high-end Upper West Side cooperative apartment building called the NYFD to report the smell of sulphur coming from his penthouse.
Mas…NYPD fingers, pinches ‘twisted’ Geraldo Rivera in ‘sexting’ probe
With Salvadorans about to outnumber Cubans in America, it’s time to learn all we can about our new neighbors. From the land of pupusas comes this video which may help you get to know Salvadorans a little better. The Salvadoran world view runs from burros to putas to negros to picsa and, don’t forget, psh psh! [Video by Jaysityo!]
(PNS reporting from WEST HOLLYWOOD) “Everything is everything,” a long-time West Hollywood denizen reminded passersby Sunday.
Kenny Southpaw, who has observed the local scene in this small Los Angeles County city since he completed his court-ordered halfway house stay in October 2010, maintains an office on the mini-mall sidewalk in front of Los Tacos on the south side of Santa Monica Boulevard, just west of Fairfax Avenue, across from the Method Acting school and between the 7-Eleven and the gay “Wash & Cruise” laundromat.
“What goes around comes around,” he informed convenience store shoppers, Mexican food diners and people with dirty clothes who ignored his pleas for cigarettes, food and beer.
“Got any spare change?” he added.
Kenny photo by PattyMooney. Los Tacos photo via VisitWestHollywood.com
